Integrating Stray With 3 Resident Furbabies

chicy724

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Hello, I have a bit of a long story and plea for guidance.. We've rescued a beautiful kitty who was once feral. He started showing up at our office and wouldn't let humans go near him. Then slowly, after feeding him a while, he started coming near but you couldn't touch him. He would purrrr and rub against the stair posts, and eventually my legs, but I couldn't touch him. Eventually he started rubbing against my hands that I'd place flatly to my sides.. I'd venture to pet him and he'd jump away. Eventually he let me pet him and couldn't get enough. Still always a purry, drooly love bug. It took about 6 or so months of slow progression.. but it worked. We started calling him Fluffy (we thought he was a girl.. he's such a beautiful kitty!).

He did have interactions with another kitty (Tommy) who frequents our office (he has a home, he's just a neighborhood roamer) and it was interesting to see. I could see Fluffy asserting himself with Tommy (who is much older), because from time to time I would see Fluffy kind of "jump at" Tommy. They seemed to be buddies, but I am not sure if they really were.. :) They would be together often and both come by for food at the same time, as well as lay around the building close to each other.

He was living in some dense bushes, and would come out whenever I'd call him. Even if I didn't have food he would come to me to get some pets. I decided I was going to get him to the vet to get checked and neutered. I did just that on Feb 28th, and he wasn't microchipped or neutered so he was a semi-feral/stray. He got all fixed up, chipped, vaccinated and treated for hookworm, so he was quarantined in the bedroom for nearly a month. The vet estimated he is about 1 year old.

We kept him at our house in a bedroom during all of this, and he became more and more lovable. We never used to be able to pick him up.. now we can. We can now even give him kisses on the head and hold him often. He is definitely a lover. So, we decided to try and give him a home because he was just too sweet to be an outside kitty with no home.

We read articles, watched videos, etc. We've integrated kittens but not adults. I got Feliway diffusers, calming spray and scratch deterrent spray. Lately he's been scratching under the door so I spray the deterrent, but we will likely have to replace carpet by the time we're done, too! Generally he has done fine as an outdoor-turned-indoor cat. We are just really struggling with integrating him with our resident three!

During the course of his hookworm treatment we kept him in the bedroom and didn't let him interact with our kitties at all. We decided once he was clear we would start introductions. We have 3.. Daisy is almost 13/female, Lilly is 10/female and then Milo is 6/male.

I will try and list out what we've done... we've done so much that I am probably going to forget something or miss the exact sequence.
We started with our youngest male, Milo, because he seemed the most interested and he is super easy going. Milo would go to the door often while Fluffy was in quarantine and sniff and just hang out there. We put Fluffy into a small dog cage and let Milo in. Of course there was hissing and stuff, it seemed to go as expected except Milo seemed to get a bit more growly and agitated as time progressed and left.

We did more research. Hubby watched Jackson Galaxy videos and decided to try the baby gate feedings. We don't have a good setup to feed kitties right on opposite sides of a door.

We put up the baby gate and covered it with a blanket and tried feeding them on opposite sides with the three being pretty far away. We slowly progressed them closer and covered less of the gate with the blanket, but in general our resident three never really seemed comfortable. It was like they would be briefly, but then regress.

Shortly into this, Fluffy jumped the gate and we decided to see what happens. It seemed ok at first.. our resident three went into our bedroom (their safe space) and Fluffy did go visit them. It got to a point where Fluffy and Milo locked eyes for what seemed like an eternity... and Fluffy jumped at him. We put him back in his room.

Unsure of what to really do, we kept on with the baby gate feedings and waited to let them interact further. Same thing with the feedings.. they seem relatively OK but then regress quickly. Once Fluffy is done eating, generally 2 of the 3 stop eating, either back away or go into our bedroom.

After many days, we started to let Fluffy out for face to face meetings, and played with them all with toys. Our three would stay higher up on a cat tower, counter, etc. The very first time we let him out, he saw Daisy on the bottom of the cat tower and went after her. She freaked out and ran into the dining room. Fluffy kept trying to get to her in the dining room and we played defense at the two room entrances. He wouldn't aggressively jump or run at her and obeyed when we told him no, sort of, because he'd keep trying but would stop when we said No.

Another time we let him out, things seemed to be going relatively well... Daisy and Milo were on the cat tower and Lilly was down on the floor. She and Fluffy made eye contact and we waited to see what happened (now we know that's BAD), and he went after Lilly, we made noises and ran him off into his room. He actually got scared because of the noises I think.

It was a total of about 4 times that we let him out to meet the others.
Since then, we haven't let him interact, but we've continued the baby gate feedings (uncovered). The resident three will eat just fine there, until he is done eating. Then Daisy and Lilly in general go off. They will stay in the area, just not near. Some days one won't really eat there in the morning, but is fine at night (until Fluffy is done eating), then they will all be fine (until Fluffy is done eating).

From time to time Daisy and Milo will go near the doorway where he is behind the closed door, at times Daisy will hiss.

We've started giving treats for positive association. If they're near the door we give them treats. Today after feeding, we gave them all treats near the baby gate. Daisy will come very close to get the treats but won't really hang out. No hissing although Fluffy is right there on the other side of the gate.

We have JUST stacked baby gates so there's basically a doorway to our hallway on the side of the house he is in. Now he can go between two bedrooms and a bathroom as desired.. but that means he is also visible to the resident three whenever he's near the gate or in one of the bedrooms. Not sure if that's good or bad.

In general, our resident three don't seem to want to have anything to do with him, they aren't super growly, do hiss sometimes.. Daisy had been hiding like she was scared but recently I *think* she's a little less scared... especially when it comes to getting the treats. But they just won't go near his area much and don't seem to make any progress with the feedings and then he has jumped at all three once each.. which I've seen him do with the other office kitty before we took Fluffy home. But they never really seemed to get aggressive or fight.. it was surely a dominance thing.

It is so back and forth and a giant mess. We are at a loss and don't know what to do. We really want it to work with Fluffy! Otherwise we'd have to try and find him a new home or bring him to a no-kill shelter and it would break my heart not knowing where he winds up :( I don't think it would be fair to put him back outside. He's too sweet and now he's kinda' domesticated ;)

Thank you for reading this.. if you got this far! :)
Any advice is greatly appreciated. We are at a loss and are trying to stay calm but it's so disheartening and we feel defeated. He's been here since Feb 28th and we've been trying to integrate for about 3 weeks...
 

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chicy724

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And to mention... we are going on vacation in 2.5 weeks and I am doubting we will be able to leave without keeping them separated the whole time. Our cat sitter will have a heck of a time with the feedings, too. It's terrible timing but that's just how it's worked out.
 
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chicy724

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Oh goodness.. I wish I could edit posts.
I forgot to say we've also done a TON of scent familiarization and room-swapping, too. So much of it- I really don't think scents are a problem at this point. It's visuals.
 

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Hi - Welcome!!
You'll be able to edit after a certain number of posts, it's a site rule due to some educational thread discussions were being deleted by the original posters because they didn't like the feedback.

Please don't think of anything negative with this situation. It is better than it feels to you.

#1 I'm thinking that the cat sitter will be just fine, whether the cats are separated at that point or not, and he/she will feed them and play with them either in their separate areas or as appropriate.
#2, If I'm reading this correctly, you aren't allowing them any time together whatsoever because you're afraid there will be fights.
#3 I would like to suggest, if I may, that you adjust your expectations a little bit.

You have an exuberant youngster coming in to other cats' established territory. I'm not seeing regressing on the cats' parts, I'm seeing that you are trying to orchestrate something that can't be.

You-all are going to have to get used to the idea that these cats need to be allowed to work things out, and it might get loud, and crazy, and there might be some fur flying. Whether it's a dominance thing or not from Fluffy's perspective, your older female will very likely take care of that, but again, you HAVE to allow them to work it out.

Please also definitely work on lowering your stress levels. All of your cats are sponges for your emotions, and calm is the aura that needs to rule the day here (at least as much as possible).

There is no need to be disheartened, I promise.

I apologize if you've already seen these articles below.

The bottom line is that these cats need to be allowed to do their thing.

How To Successfully Introduce Cats: The Ultimate Guide
How To Fix An Unsuccessful Cat Introduction
How To Deal With Non-recognition Aggression In Cats
You, Your Cat And Stress
Six Surefire Strategies To Reduce Stress In Cats
How To Safely Break Up A Cat Fight
How To Make Your Home Bigger (at Least For Your Cats)
The Multi-cat Household
 
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Furballsmom

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By the way, that's of course a photo of Fluffy? He is GORGEOUS and deserves everything you are giving him. He doesn't deserve for you to harbor thoughts of defeat-ism (if that's a word...) It has only been THREE WEEKS. That is a very short time. Sometimes integrations take as long as they take.

For your further consideration, my Big Guy is unaffected by Feliway. With this in mind, for your other three cats you might try calming products of different styles and types including collars, wipes and treats, depending on how broadly and intensely (?) you'd want to extend the benefit.

These products are made with different ingredients such as L-Tryphophan and casein, et al.

Vetri-Science's Composure is one to look at, Pet Remedy (it has valerian) is another, as is Essential Pet Pet-ease, Only Natural Pet (brand and website) has one, Pet Naturals also has one I believe and Sentry has a collar. Lambert Vet Supply is a website to look at, and of course amazon and chewy, also there's Petwishpros.

There are a couple of current discussions about calming items, here's the link to one thread. Post #6 in this has a link to the second discussion which is titled calming treats for a very picky cat.
Calming Treats?
 

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As others have said, three weeks is not long at all, it often takes 3-6months for a new cat to fully integrate into a household. Please don't even consider taking Fluffy to a shelter now.

It's been my experience that no matter how deliberate and careful the introductions, there is almost always going to be an adjustment period where the cats are going to fuss with each other, hiss, growl, swat. It's highly unlikely that any injuries will occur since the cats are all fixed and not fighting for a mate. There comes a time when you just have to remove the baby gates and let them work it out. Fluffy needs to work out space and rank issues with the other cats. There will be some drama, but cats, unlike many people, learn to coexist peacefully. I've been through this process many times with cats, and they have all learn to coexist peacefully over time. But not without some initial drama.

It helps to have more than one feeding station. I leave out dry food 24/7, two different kinds, at three different food stations for my 5 cats. With four cats, you might consider having two different food and water stations with food accessible to them 24/7. Perhaps leave Fluffy's food station and litter box where they are instead of moving them to the area where the other litter boxes and food stations are situated. Also, are you allowing the resident cats any time to go into Fluffy's room when he's outside his room, or you are in his room with him? It's important for them to start to be allowed back in that room. In their view, part of their territory has been taken away from them. If there are new toys in that room, they can feel more at ease being integrated into that part of the house. If you provide ample space and food, there will be no stress over those issues.

There are a few strategies I have employed that have helped me greatly in the introduction process. Try to engage Fluffy with a wand toy and a laser toy, and entice the other cats to come into his room and join in the play. If you can engage them in play together, they will start to accept each other. I usually buy new catnip toys when I have a new cat, both for the new cat as well as for the resident cats. Last Kitty I took in, I bought a second 6 foot cat tree, which they all enjoyed. I also give extra special attention to the resident cats. I make it into a positive experience. If there is a new cat, there are going to be new toys, additional playtime, extra food treats, and extra attention for all. This is what has worked for me.

It's important that you try to remain calm during this process. Only intervene when they fuss with each other if it becomes too aggressive, otherwise let them work it out. They are a bit like children, and you have to ignore some of the attention-seeking behavior. If you can remain calm through this process, they will be less stressed.

Please give it more time, it is way too early in the process to be thinking about giving fluffy away or bringing him to a shelter. It takes effort and time to integrate a new cat into a multi-cat household, but it is well worth it. Thanks for giving Fluffy a home. Each winter when it's cold and snowy outside, I feel so grateful that each of my rescued cats has a warm and dry and safe place to live and I have never regretted taking any of them in.
 
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di and bob

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Three weeks is not long at all in a cat's world. I think you have made WONDERFUL progress in that amount of time. My cats were not integrated for going on a year. We had to keep them separated for almost 6 months. Now, 5 years later they are family. If you are leaving, ( by the way what is vacation! :) ) Females are not usually friendly anyway, they will most likely always hiss and slap because that is what they do. My Chrissy had a bed on top of the fridge for months, so make sure you have elevated safe places for your females. But now you have a buddy for your little boy and they will learn to enjoy each other. I would concentrate on getting those two together, maybe taking your boy into the safe room. On vacation I would take down the gates to make it easier and just have him in a separate room. You MUST have someone responsible and reliable enough to keep them separated, or their could be injuries. There is going to be slaps, hisses, chases, and tussles. As long as there are no deep bites and injuries, everything will be fine and will work out. It just takes time! PS look at my avatar, those two were hated enemies at one time!
 
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chicy724

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Thank you all for your responses thus far! We appreciate the guidance and support. We certainly need it!

Furballsmom Furballsmom :
#2 - That is mostly true. They see each other during feedings. He is at the gate and they are on the other side of it. Sometimes our resident three eat fine, other times they don't. I'd say mostly, our younger boy Milo eats through his food just fine but the girls walk away before they are done.

I guess we got nervous because he has gone after all three while they were in the room together, and then after he did that he continued to "hunt" them, if you will.

Perhaps we should try again and give lots of treats (they're all going to be so fat by the time we're done.. Milo is already 16# before treats!) and play with them.. not letting the eye contact happen.

We do have wand toys and Fluffy certainly loves them. During the times we've let him out and we've played with the others and him in the same room, Lilly will play with toys just fine. Milo will stay on the cat tower and watch from a distance and be like a statue when he is near. Daisy will do the same.. she is like a statue when he is near.

That is indeed a photo of Fluffy. He is a pretty one ;) This was just before he was groomed and bathed. He had some matting that we just couldn't get so we gave him a "spa day". Too bad he had to be sedated.. ;)

THANK YOU for all of those articles. We will take a look-- I am sure they will be super helpful.
 
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chicy724

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We have calming treats.. they are so picky. There are these certain ones they will eat. We have to crush them up for Milo, and break into smaller pieces for Daisy, and Lilly just sucks them down. Fluffy eats them.. usually. LOL
No idea if they really work. I bought some other ones that they won't touch - ARK Naturals "Happy Traveler".
The ones we have that they eat are the NaturVet Quiet Moments, or PetNaturals Calming.. I can't remember which at the moment.

I also have a calming spray: Pet Organics No-Stress spray. I just used the last of the first bottle. Thankfully I bought two.

Scratch deterrent: Nature's Miracle Scratch Deterrent Spray. Not sure that works, either! He scratches at the carpet under the door as I've mentioned. I have resorted to running a scrap piece of carpet under the door and into the room but it leaves an inch or so open on the side and he keeps going after that. Oy.

Thank you for the link to the calming discussion. I will look at that, too! :)
 

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Speaking of treats, you could try (non-calming) Pure-bites, and Sheba Meaty sticks, Orijen treats and also freeze dried minnows.
Maybe, if you think it necessary, cut down a little bit on Milo's regular meals a bit during this :tongue:. You could start weighing him regularly so you can keep an eye on things:scale:
 
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chicy724

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msaimee msaimee I was thinking about getting a "vacation feeder" to put in Fluffy's room. ....Maybe for the others but I hate leaving a plethora of food out for them because Milo is a piggy! :)

I think that may be a good thing for Fluffy because then he will never feel like he isn't getting food. We feed our others on a schedule so we've just put him on the same and have been using the feedings for those little interactions per what we've read. But they aren't progressing forward. We cannot inch our resident three's bowls closer like we should be able to by now. And the girls still walk away right when Fluffy is done. It's like they feel if he's eating and not paying attention to them it's fine. But when he's done he isn't "occupied" and they leave. Even if hubby is on Fluffy's side playing and "occupying" him.

We have two large cat trees for them, but right now one is in the back room where Fluffy originally was. The other is near the entrance with the baby gates.

I definitely don't want to give up. I think hubby and I, at different times, feel at a loss so it crosses our mind that is just might not work. But I don't want to think that way. And it is usually on days we feel we regress where the girls won't go to their food bowls or Fluffy lunges at them.
I feel like Fluffy chose us. When he started coming around I vowed to change him. And it worked. He went from being scared of humans to now letting us hold him, kiss him, brush him, etc. Except he does get a little "wild" at times and nibbles our arms if we're holding him or jump at our legs.. weirdo! :)
 

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I feel like Fluffy chose us
I'm amazed at how in tune with you he is already - in tune with what you want, and don't want. You've done an awesome job!! :rock:
If you'll allow me to interject one more thought, do be a little bit careful about being too strong with him regarding the behavior you don't want - you don't want to end up confusing him regarding his relationship with you.
Hang in there, and all the best wishes for your entire family!! :heartshape:
 
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chicy724

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di and bob di and bob : I guess we felt like 3 weeks was a lot. We should readjust our mindset and expectations as recommended.
Wow.. 6 months! That is a long time. But I am willing to do it if it is what we need. It is exhausting and time consuming.. but we can do this!

We will probably leave the gates up when we are gone if they aren't integrated because it is so tricky to keep him in the room now. He tries to get out and is pretty sly. We leave the gates open when we are not home- they have doors. So the resident three can go over on that side of the house as they please in general. We close the gate doors when we are going into Fluffy's room, in case he sneaks out, or if we are letting him roam that area.

Our resident kitties are weird. Milo wants nothing more than to play with Lilly but she wants nothing to do with him. She starts growling like a little panther almost whenever he is around (sometimes I will catch them laying within a few feet on the bed perfectly peaceful!) If he tries to play with her she sounds so dramatic. She is a drama queen, though. On her first vet trip after we adopted her from the shelter, she started screaming before the vet had even touched her ;) .

Milo is the one we expected to just take to him with a little indifference at first, but he just went all out growling, running away, etc. Now he will stay around but up high. Maybe a light growl here or there-- but this is only when Fluffy is not right next to him or at his level. He hasn't been at his level since that first time, really. We really want these two to be buddies because I truly feel like Milo just wants a buddy.. and his sister Lilly wants nothing of it.
Daisy and Milo get along just fine, sometimes I will catch them cleaning each other. Milo will try and come on my lap when Daisy is there and sometimes Daisy gets annoyed and leaves. Sometimes she will stay and lay right near him.

We will start putting Milo in Fluffy's room. Maybe we will close the door and hang out with him in there so he feels more comfortable with that. They definitely are the two we want to be good buddies so we need to try!

Daisy is the Matriarch. But she is the one going off like she is scared of Fluffy. This surprises me. I thought she'd have put him in his place. Even with Milo and Lilly, for example- if they're doing something they aren't supposed to and we tell them "NO", Daisy will chase them off like she's disciplining them like Mom. It's kinda funny.

I really appreciate all of the advice and encouragement.
 

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One more (last) thought :p I don't know if you'll be able to, but hopefully...

What if you put a couple of towels down where Daisy sleeps to get her scent all over it/them. Then give Fluffy a bath and dry him with that towel. --Or even have the vet that handled him the time previous do this, and put the second dry towel in the carrier. (As I understand it a groomer won't sedate a cat, but if the cat has been sedated with something from the vet then a groomer will take on the job.)

Maybe you're right and he's a super alpha feline, and I know it's been a number of weeks but I'm wondering if he still smells of the outdoors and the vet's office from his hookworm treatment.

Plus, if you can, then you could deal with any new mats (probably cut them as opposed to trying to comb/brush them out).

...and now with this, I'll hush for real this time and let you get to it :D

--I know there's not an itchy skin issue here, but nonetheless hopefully there's some good info for you.
Bath Recs For Itchy Skin?
How To Safely Bathe A Cat: The Complete Guide
 
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KarenKat

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Cat integrations are tough, so hang in there! I'm going through my first one, integrating 3-year-old Olive with Gohan (7) and Trin (10). We are nearing the end of month 5 and only in the last 3 weeks or so do we let her have the run of the house at night. When we are gone the door is closed. This is after baby gates, tiffs, the most amazing panther growls from Olive, blood sweat and tears (so many tears lol). Sometimes it felt that our stress would never end.

Trin and Olive are doing ok together now (they swat often but no more hissing). But Gohan chases her to her safe room, is not easily distracted by food or play when she's nearby (your statue de Milo definitely resonated) and if you try to pet him it causes him to chase her more. He's slowly (so slow. glacial.) deciding not to chase every time he sees her, and they have shared a sunny window once or twice. They also always have an armistice during after-play treat time which is a magical 5 min or so. It does get better.

You sound like you are doing pretty good. One thing I'll mention (not sure if this is standard, others can way in if it's not good advice) but if we need to separate any catfights, rather than chasing them away we use large squares of cardboard to kind of "herd" them. I feel that this would reduce negative associations and remove us as "aggressors" in their eyes. Good luck and stay strong!
 

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If you measure your situation with mine, Your are doing really well
I have 2 cats separated right now, 1 is a Feral that I haven't handled yet.
I think you are doing great, Just time is needed and following the advise
of people here. I was getting freaked out too, but just realized I need to be
patient and figure this out and keep myself calm in the process.
 
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chicy724

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One more (last) thought :p I don't know if you'll be able to, but hopefully...

What if you put a couple of towels down where Daisy sleeps to get her scent all over it/them. Then give Fluffy a bath and dry him with that towel. --Or even have the vet that handled him the time previous do this, and put the second dry towel in the carrier. (As I understand it a groomer won't sedate a cat, but if the cat has been sedated with something from the vet then a groomer will take on the job.)

Maybe you're right and he's a super alpha feline, and I know it's been a number of weeks but I'm wondering if he still smells of the outdoors and the vet's office from his hookworm treatment.

Plus, if you can, then you could deal with any new mats (probably cut them as opposed to trying to comb/brush them out).

...and now with this, I'll hush for real this time and let you get to it :D

--I know there's not an itchy skin issue here, but nonetheless hopefully there's some good info for you.
Bath Recs For Itchy Skin?
How To Safely Bathe A Cat: The Complete Guide
Daisy mostly sleeps on the back of the couch cushions or under the bed, or in other random spots.
I suppose it's possible he still smells the outside and vet? But I am not sure. We have changed out his towels in the crate we transported him in and kept that in his room the whole time. Only recently did we put it in the living room, and Lilly has actually claimed it as her sleeping spot. It still has his towel in there and he's been in there time-to-time. So I am sure that has his scent on there. :shocked:

I've put the blanket Milo had been frequenting back on the bed in Fluffy's room. I put it in our bedroom after Fluffy had been all over it and Milo slept on it for the past week or so. I just put it back in Fluffy's room last night. He doesn't seem weirded out by it and has been on it.

I am not sure we could give Fluffy a bath.. that is just a scary thought. LOL We have a hard time with ours and have to "suit up" in layers.

What I could do is just put a towel or blanket down on the back of the couch where she usually goes and then rub that all over Fluffy without bathing him?
Re: The mats... just before his grooming I actually did cut a few off of him because they had gotten so big it had to have been uncomfortable for him. It left a little behind but the little dude let me. I was surprised! The two behind his ears I didn't even attempt. That was too sketchy!

We will also try swapping rooms by putting Milo in Fluffy's room for a while one night and put Fluffy back into the other bedroom. Then switch them up again?
 

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This is just my opinion, and I could be wrong, but I wouldn't put Fluffy through another vet visit, sedation and bath at this time. It could be too distressing for him right now. It's been 3 weeks since his vet visit, right? His scent is already in the house. The main issue you are likely dealing with now is one of territory. Fluffy has taken over one of their rooms, and taking up some of your attention, so they are a bit jealous. I think it's wonderful that a few of them will play with Fluffy in his safe room, that's exactly the right way to do it. Regarding the food situation, it's been my experience that strays and ferals often have had issues with hunger and even starvation while they were outside. So they are anxious about food. Which is why I leave out dry food 24/7 at different feeding stations. I don't want any of my cats to ever feel stressed about the availability of food. In the beginning, the new cat may gobble down food as much and often as he can, but after a while he'll relax and no longer gorge himself. But I understand your concerns having an overweight cat. One of the dry foods that I keep out is actually a weight management food, if your cats aren't too picky, perhaps they could adjust to having a weight management food in at least one of their food bowls.

Yes, 3 to 6 months sounds like a very long time to have peace in your household. But once you get through that adjustment period, hopefully you can have a decade or longer of four cats living long and safe and happy lives in your home. If you keep that perspective in mind, it makes it a little bit easier. Keep us posted!
 
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