Impossible Cat

[maggiedemi]

I'm sure it would be okay, I just don't want you to use up the litter too fast since it can get expensive. I keep it at about 3 inches deep. I put in about 25 pounds, then I have this little 8oz cup and I put that much back in once a day after scooping. It's clumping litter, right? What are you using for a litter box?

 

[susieqz]

i bot this. it's huge. i did get clumping litter.
i'll be adding a layer of bark mulch because there's a layer of that over the dirt she's using now.
i don't understand her hurry.
i had planned to let her experience the warmth when it got cold.
she may not like it when she finds out there's nothing to hunt in here.
i could understand her wanting to come in if she liked my company more,
but she prefers alone time for most of the time.perhaps it has nothing to do with me.
she is very curious n may just need to learn the area.

 

[maggiedemi]

I have that litter box too. It seems like I have every jumbo litter box that exists, except the ones with covers on them. There is a new one on amazon with a clear lid on it so the cat can see out. I might try it, but it's really expensive.

 

[susieqz]

this animal is not cooperating with my attempts to make her a pleasant house guest.
i really need to be able to pick her up.
that's not happening.
of course, she won't get near me right now. she is holding a grudge about me stepping on her yesterday.
there is also my need to brush her. i can brush her a little
while she eats, but then she doesn't like me that whole day.
i insist she be brushed because that reduces my allergy symptoms.
i need to do a thorough brushing but she will not submit.
i think i have no choice but to bar her from the house.
we seem to have reached a plateau in our relationship.
she seems to have decided that she has gone as far as she will go.
that's just not far enow to be allowed inside.

perhaps i can find a little kitten to live inside

 

[1CatOverTheLine]

.
"Now, it seems to me some fine things
Have been laid upon your table,
But you only want the ones that you can't get...."
.

 

[maggiedemi]

Awe, don't get discouraged, you're doing fine. Maggie hates being brushed, so I got one of those cat grooming gloves. I usually use a blanket, towel, or shirt to pick her up. But she will go right into her carrier. I just say, Maggie get in your cage, and she goes right in. Demi is much easier because he was a baby when I found him. He likes to be brushed. He hates being picked up, but doesn't fight me too bad.

 

[susieqz]

yeah. this is one of my discouraged days.
i have spent more than 200 hours with her.
she is now a sometimes affectionate feral, but still a feral.
my table is bare.

 

[susieqz]

please do not expect me to be consistent , as drifter is super inconsistent.
i went out to read today, planning to ignore her. i was gonna leave her food 6' away. but even tho she is inconsistent, she hates any change. i decided not having her food right next to me would be mean. so, i acted as usual.

after days of staying away, this was her cuddliest day ever. i was out for 3 hours in the morn, n 3 times she came over , putting her head on my forearm n plopped down next to me.pressing her body against mine, so of course i had to stoke her n tell her how pretty she was.
when i went out with her evening meal, she didn't instantly cuddle. she hopped to the top of the fence n did her tightrope walk along the top, walking the perimeter. when she came back, all i did was pat the fleece next to me n she came again to cuddle. she knows what patting the fleece means, but generally chooses to ignore the signal.
so, i got more than a week's worth of cuddling in one day n i'm happy with her again.
tomorrow, who knows what she will do.

 

[maggiedemi]

That's the way cats are, they want it to be their idea, they want to decide when to cuddle. My cats show me the most affection when I'm doing some project and not paying any attention to them.

 

[susieqz]

i have some questions.
as i mentioned, drifter looks determined to defend her territory.
i assumed she would defend against other females.
but, if they form colonies, females can get along with other females' so, is this defense posture all in my head?
also, now that i'm feeding her more, she stays in the garden more,
this is good to keep her in a protected spot, but, i'm wondering how much is too much?
her job is killing mice in my garden.
i don't wish to feed so much as to stop her from hunting.
i wish to keep her happy n healthy, but i don't want her lazing around ignoring her work.
any way to figure out the proper feed for this barn cat without a barn?

 

[maggiedemi]

My cats like other cats and would rather play with them than chase them away. Especially Demi, he escaped once and was playing with the neighbor's cat in the woods and he didn't want to come in. How much are you feeding Drifter? I'm feeding my cats 1/2 cup of dry food each per day and they share a 5.5oz can of Friskies. And they still try to hunt. I let them go out in the breezeway and garage and they will catch a mouse if it comes in.

 

[susieqz]

i'm feeding 3/4 of a tuna fish can, morning n night.
she no longer looks emaciated n doesn't look overweight either.
from appearance, she is getting the right amount.
before she got sick, i was feeding a generous 1/2 can morn n night.
she gets all she will eat in half an hour.
she eats a bit, then comes back every 10 minutes for more.

 

[maggiedemi]

Is it human tuna fish or tuna canned cat food? Are you still feeding her the Friskies dry food?

 

[susieqz]

oh, i'm using the tuna fish can as a measure for friskies kibble.
i fed human tuna, but just as a carrier for drugs. i'm no longer giving drugs, so no more tuna.
for future reference, is there something wrong with chicken of the sea people tuna?
drifter really likes friskies.

 

[maggiedemi]

Oh, I didn't realize you meant you were measuring the Friskies dry food in the tuna can. I just use my measuring cups. I think people tuna is fine for a once in a while treat. Friskies has some Tuna flavors in their canned food. My cats like the Shreds best.

 

[susieqz]

i think friskies kibble plus mice make a good diet.
on more day of drifter driving me crazy.
another cuddle day. i had my pillow out there because i was tired.
we took a nap together. we both were half asleep.
she was cradled in my arms, just like she would be if i was carrying her.
so, it's ok for me to hold her like that, but only if i'm lying down myself.
any normal cat who let me hold her like that, would let me pick her up n carry her around,
but not drifter.
normal is not a word we use around here.

 

[vyger]

I will chime in my 2 cents worth on the picking up conversation. I have also noticed that it really depends on the cat. One of the ones I had in the past was just fine with being picked up and carried around. Another one, her boyfriend would allow you to pick him up and hold him but not walk anywhere with him. He appeared to like the higher vantage point but moving him somewhere that was not his idea was not OK. I usually just use a single hand arm combination. They essentially lay on my arm with my hand between their front legs. Then you can tuck them close so they get secured between your arm and you so they are never without support but at the same time feel free because they can jump down at any time. You can usually feel the back legs tensing up if they want free and its easy to just let them go by dropping your hand down. I have one who actually "walks" with her front legs as I walk. Anyway, I have picked up my new big gray feral tom who just started letting me touch him this spring. He was surprised the first time but it was just a matter of fact thing. I have 4 or 5 different cat dishes and several cats trying to eat at any one time and sometimes I move the cats around because they get to intent on trying to get into one dish to realize the others are open and full. So I pick them up and plop them down in front of the vacant dish. He was stuck in between two others and started moving in on one to steal the dish so I just picked him up and moved him to a vacant dish. He tensed up but then when he ended up with his nose in a full dish he was fine. So I have done that several times with no problems. But I have not tried picking him up and holding him. That is an escalation. I will have to try it and see what happens. On big problem I am have with him is he doesn't understand to get out of the way. He gets so intent on rubbing on me he doesn't realize I am trying to walk by him. The others all know a little nudge with a foot means move or get stepped on. He doesn't get that yet and I have almost tripped on him a few times. He has come to learn that I am the top cat and has accepted that. He started getting into a huff with one of the other cats, starting the posturing thing towards them and I batted him in the nose with the back of my hand. That really startled him at first. But after that little tap I ignored him and he understood the boss told him to back down so he accepted it. Now all I have to do is wave a hand at him and he backs down. With a feral tom who wants to be in the group/ colony, knowing who is in charge helps to diffuse things.
But back to the issue, from what I have experienced, the reaction to being carried is very much dependent on what the cat feels comfortable with. Some just don't like not being in charge of where they are going and others are just fine with going along for the ride. You could just try slipping your arm lengthwise under her and with her front legs between your fingers just lift up off the ground. She probably will accept it with just a little surprise.

 

[maggiedemi]

Hey, you just took a nap with a feral cat. I think you are doing amazingly well! I wish Maggie would take a nap with me.

 

[susieqz]

today was the forth cuddle day in a row.
she climbed onto my outdoor bed n just leaned against me.so, i engulfed her in my arms while she laid down with a quiet little purr. we spent 20 minutes loving it up, til she had to get back to her chores.
20 minutes is enow to satisfy my need for cuddling. hers too.
i'm no longer worried about picking her up. if she wants this close contact every day, sooner or later she will let me pick her up.
i'm also giving her a piece of beef fat every day, from my hand, while i'm standing.
she can now accept me standing, when food is involved.
i even touched her while i was standing, but she moved away fast.
i do't think she can keep that up forever.
being afraid for no reason must get boring, after a while, right?

 

[msaimee]

Revolution does require a prescription and is expensive, so I'm a bit skeptical about being able to buy it online for $5. You can purchase Frontline Plus in multipacks on Amazon and it comes out to be about $10 a dose. You can also purchase Drontal online for about ten dollars a dose--I can PM you the link tomorrow should a future need arise. Once the weather gets cold, there is no need to use Frontline on cats because they rarely get fleas or ticks in freezing temperatures.

All cats, domesticated and feral, may scratch or even bite when we do something that causes them pain or scares them. For example, some cats have very sensitive skin, especially if their fur contains matts or they have sores from flea bites. Sometimes grooming can be very painful for them. Since they can't verbalize their pain, if we ignore their warning signs, such as a swishing tail or hissing or swiping, the only way they have to defend themselves is to scratch or even bite. This is a very natural and instinctive response. They do not intend to be mean or betray our trust. They are not spiteful like humans. And if you punish or hit a cat after he has responded to fear or pain by scratching, you are confusing him and only teaching him to fear you more. It is also instinctual for outdoor cats to eat food that is accessible to them. Not all cats will go near a plate of food left unattended, but some may, and the solution is to not leave a plate of food unattended and within easy reach of a cat until you know whether or not he is going to get into it. Also, they do learn boundaries over time. I had one cat who was crazed with hunger when I took him in because of a severe flea and parasite infection. He would get into a bag of bread or a stick of butter. This behavior stopped completely after a few months when he became healthy, and in the meantime I put the bread in a cupboard and kept the butter in the refrigerator. We sometimes have to make compromises living with our furry friends the same as we have to make when we live with other people or with children. It takes a lot of patience to share your life with another living creature. But it is worth the time and effort. Cats especially are capable of bonding very deeply with their caregivers and showing unconditional love.