I'm worried my girl cat is bullying my boy cat but am having trouble deciphering their behavior

[gotlembas]

I'm a doting mom to Arwen, my 1.5yo tortie, and Pippin, my 2yo flamepoint. Pippin is naturally very skittish and shy and is the type to fly under the bed at loud noises and hide from guests, while Arwen will happily pronounce you her new BFF and demand treats from you if you meet her lol. Arwen is definitely the boss of the household, but for the most part they play together equally and quietly and take turns, so I'm never too concerned about their behavior. But lately, Arwen has started randomly running up to Pippin and chasing him everywhere and attempting to bite his fur (he's long-haired, so this is very easy for her to do).


Usually Pippin just runs away, which can be hard to do sometimes as I live in a studio apartment, and I'll have to get up from what I'm doing and intervene if Pippin starts vocalizing or hissing at her because she does not take a hint at all. Sometimes she tries to get his fur so hard that she'll actually bite loose hairs out and, I imagine, some attached hairs with them! This is a new behavior in the past month and I've tried separating them, trying to tire Arwen out with a toy instead, but nothing seems to work. As soon as I go back to what I'm doing, she's terrorizing her brother again trying to bite his fur! They do still play together normally as well, but this has been occurring more often and I'm concerned because Pippin always runs away and if she persists, he'll yelp at her and start hissing and she does NOT back off until I physically separate them. I'm worried she's being a bully and I have zero idea why this behavior started or how to resolve it!

 

[FeebysOwner]

Hi. I presume they are spayed/neutered... So, unless there is a medical/health reason, which there could be since this is a more recent change, 'teaching' Arwen that it is not OK is what you have to do next. That means, picking her up, saying a firm 'No' (or hissing, pick one) in her face, and placing her in a room with a door for 1-2 minutes is your best bet. This will only work if you do so consistently, each and every time, she begins to bother Pippin. The more consistent you are, the less time it will take for her to 'get it', however that does not mean you are going to get instantaneous results.

Aside from that, it is possible that you have outdoor 'critters' that Arwen can sense and she is reacting to that by attacking Pippin. This is a possibility you have to be on the lookout for as it isn't always easy to tell if you are not looking for it.

 

[gotlembas]

Hi. I presume they are spayed/neutered... So, unless there is a medical/health reason, which there could be since this is a more recent change, 'teaching' Arwen that it is not OK is what you have to do next. That means, picking her up, saying a firm 'No' (or hissing, pick one) in her face, and placing her in a room with a door for 1-2 minutes is your best bet. This will only work if you do so consistently, each and every time, she begins to bother Pippin. The more consistent you are, the less time it will take for her to 'get it', however that does not mean you are going to get instantaneous results.

Aside from that, it is possible that you have outdoor 'critters' that Arwen can sense and she is reacting to that by attacking Pippin. This is a possibility you have to be on the lookout for as it isn't always easy to tell if you are not looking for it.

Thank you for the advice! Oh and yes, they're both spayed/neutered. That's sort of what I've been doing thus far but I'm going to do it more consistently and see if that might knock the idea into her head haha. She's otherwise behaving just fine aside from this and is eating, playing, and snuggling just fine with me. I did get her from a foster and even they weren't sure of her life before she came to them at around 4 months, so I often am highly suspicious that she wasn't properly/fully socialized with her mom because she's had occasional bouts of behavioral issues and other quirks, which is exacerbated by her extremely high energy.

 

[Kris107]

Cat siblings will sometimes be siblings. They pester, annoying, try to manipulate. I've seen mine try to pester their siblings into moving from sleeping spot they want. One time the one just lay over top the other one. But we kibosh that behavior as much as possible. Whoever gets there first gets to stay ans the other one has to sit nearby and not touch the other one. I know this isn't your situation but I do think it could just be about rules/boundaries and saying it isn't okay to do that. Sometimes mine get too hyper and I have to separate them or stand between them for a bit until they calm down for a minute.