I’m trying to enjoy Jackie extra this Christmas

[danteshuman]

So the first Christmas, Dante got very ill right on Christmas Eve. I wound up putting him to sleep about a week after Christmas.

Last year I was still to heartbroken to really enjoy Christmas. My mom gave me a painting of Dante which I love. Weird as it sounds, I like putting my seasonal wreaths and stuff by Dante’s painting .... since that is the wall I stare at the most. (The candle is rarely lit.)


This year I bought a silly Christmas frame app & I have been going back to add frames to all my favorite pictures. Plus I got Jackie and Nick Christmas stockings. Jackie was being naughty as I was trying to wrap presents so I gave him a stocking with tissue paper, catnip & 2 of his old toys in it while I wrapped. He loved it! They are getting Christmas presents in their stockings and I’m hoping to get great photos this year. Yes I will make them wear a scarf.

Though I still miss Dante, the pain isn’t as acute as it was last year. Being able to see him in the painting helps. Plus (& I know this awful) I can finally hear Jackie’s puuurrrsss now! I guess he finally got big enough or decided to puuurrr louder? It is still soft but being able to hear it brings me joy. I really missed Dante’s super loud motorcycle purr. I still do.



Plus as you can see, I take a ton of pictures & videos of Jackie (& Nick.) If you are grieving the loss of pet this Holiday season, my heart goes out to you. Please look for the small joys.

Thank you everyone for helping me get through last year, when all the Christmas stuff reminded me of my loss.

 

[Mia6]

Dante was so beautiful!! This time of year must be be very rough for you.
Dante is at the bridge enjoying Christmas parties and most probably being
chased by my boy-crazy Vincie girl amongst others.

 

[klunick]

Growing up, we lost a cat on Christmas Day. He had stomach cancer and was doped up on Valium. (My mom doesn't believe in euthanasia). We laid him by the fire to keep him warm. My sister and I laid by him and told him it was ok to say goodbye. He literally took one deep breath and was gone. It was almost like he was waiting for permission to go. I think about him and that day at least once or twice each Christmas Day.

 

[di and bob]

Losing a loved one around Christmas is especially hard, it is supposed to be a joyful, spiritual time and all we do is feel the pain of loss. I pray that these posts remind all of us to be grateful for what we do have and to be thankful for what we had in the past. Sooner or later every one of us will experience loss. It is a part of life. We all have the choice of living life to it's fullest, to grasp each and every second and be thankful, or to be steeped in sadness and tears, trying to change what never can be. Of course we must grieve, there is no way to avoid the pain of loss. It leaves a huge hole in our very soul that must be filled before we move on and begin to really live again. We are changed forever and must make a new life for ourselves and this can never be achieved without letting go of our pain and taking that first step into the future. A future that at first, we don't want to contemplate. We cannot change the past, and it is so painful to go back there. We have to get past that pain and grasp the parts that are important, like experiencing a love that not everyone can. That our little ones are a part of that past, and THAT is what we need to hold on to, not the pain of loss but the joy of loving them. We need to continue sending them our love, because they will never stop sending theirs.
It is an honor to be remembered and loved after death. To have their love expanded and added on to by loving others. Not to keep that love secret and held inside, showered with tears and pain, but let out into the sunshine that only more love can bring. They live on through us now, live life as it is meant to be lived and in this way that love is kept eternal. They may be gone from our lives, but they can never be gone from our hearts and souls.

 

[les26]

We lost Deb's father two years ago this coming December 28th, it in itself is hard enough but coupled with the enormous stress of this crazy year it is almost unbearable, and I am sure it is the same feeling if someone lost one of their little furry friends this time of year too.

God Bless.....

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Why is it awful to take joy in hearing Jackie's purrs? I assure you, Dante is very happy that it brings you comfort! Never fear, Dante will have a lovely time this Christmas at the Bridge. My dad is there, and where there are cats, that's where he will be, stroking cheeks, handing out treats, and making a lap for anyone who needs one. Dad adores Dante, I'm sure!

 

[Maria Bayote]

Christmas season is the hardest when remembering our dearly departed fur babies, especially if we have lost them also during this time of the year. My heart goes out to all of you who have lost their beloved cats. May you remember them more with a smile, than of tears.

 

[danteshuman]

Why is it awful to take joy in hearing Jackie's purrs?

I felt guilty like I was telling Jackie he didn’t measure up. Like I was telling him he wasn’t a real cat. I love Jackie to pieces but I didn’t want to replace Dante. It took me a year to quit feeling like Jackie was the new guy who didn’t measure up. It wasn’t personal, Dante had gotten me through the worst year in my life & had been my best friend for 13 years. My relationship with Jackie was just starting.

Plus I was always trying to tell if he was puuurrring. Eventually I realized I could feel his side vibrating when he puuurrrred. But yeah I’m extra excited to hear Jackie’s quiet puuuurrrsss. I still miss that loud puuurrr. Lucky for me, Jackie’s brother Nick puuurrrs real loud! So I get some weekend cuddles with him.

 

[danteshuman]

Jackie’s adoption wasn’t driven by ‘I’m ready to have another cat and I’m completely in love with this kitten.’ It was driven by ‘I have an opening and I never want this poor little guy to ever be returned again!’

I fostered Jackie and tried my best not to fall hopelessly in love with him (especially since his hyper antics reminded me of Dante as a kitten.) Then Dante died. My other cat Salem (the grumpy old man) was in love with my stepdad and was beyond traumatized when I tried to move him with me. So my mom & I agreed to switch, I would adopt a kitten (Nick) & Salem could live out his last days where he wanted. (Salem’s kidneys had started to fail, he lost a lot of weight and we didn’t think he would last 6 months.) Then Jackie was returned (like a purse at a department store! ) The poor guy was traumatized from being yoyo’ed around. I knew he was hyper & easily stressed (his brother calms him down.) I knew he was likely to be returned again. I knew how to deal with hyper cats (thanks to Dante, the wee terrorist of doom, as I called him when he was a kitten!) So I adopted Jackie so he would never have to be returned again. It took him 3 months for him to feel safe enough to be in a different room from me for a few minutes! Now he wanders off into the bedroom to hang out there without me for a couple hours everyday. He still watches me shower but at least he stopped the panicked crying that he did those first couple of months!

When Jackie was returned we realized how bonded Nick & Jackie still were. So atm I take Jackie to my mom’s for an overnight visit every weekend. Her house is is his second home. Before the pandemic the plan was for Nick to be listed as my ESA and to adopt him to. (1 pet adoption rule) Now I’m hiding from people and not going to any extra Dr. visits. So my goal is after Christmas to take Nick for 2 weeks to see how he does at my place with Jackie. If it goes well then I will pursue adopting Nick when the # of covid cases goes down. Though everyone loves Nick! Meanwhile I’m his Aunt who spoils him rotten, brings him the good catnip & new special toys.

When we visit they are always together. They love to wrestle/play fight.

So Jackie got a forever home but it took me a long while to grieve Dante. I’m still extra worried about Jackie’s health. Provided Jackie gets 2 hours of outside time every day & sees his brother once a week, he is a well behaved angel.

 

[di and bob]

Jackie is a welcome distraction right now from your grief. Don't ever think he will ever 'replace' Dante, that can never be, Dante has a special place in your soul that is all his and always will be. Any love that grows for Jackie will reside side by side with Dante's, Jackie's love will grow over the years and help you get through this. Each small joy you find with him will help that hole in your heart to heal a little more. Though it will always hurt to not have Dante in your life anymore, each passing year and the love of your sweet Jackie will lessen the pain as time goes by. You will become more sure of Dante's place in your soul and allow Jackie's love to help you heal.....

 

[Meekie]

I'm sorry about Dante. I lost my Rico earlier this month and Christmas will never be the same. It's amazing how deeply these little critters can get into our hearts.

 

[di and bob]

I lost my Chrissy on December 8th 2012. That 1st Christmas was absolutely horrible. I still miss that sweet girl horribly. But it DOES get better over time. It still hurts but is bearable....