I wasn't there when my lovely Tiberius died and it's tearing me apart.

[Elizabethsm]

My husband and I were out on our boat. Left Thursday. Said goodbye to Claudius & Tiberius. Thought I'd see them in a few days. My sitter called on Sunday to say he had found Tiberius under the dining room table. Such a shock. Vet is doing a post mortem today but has warned me she might not find the reason. He did have a mildly enlarged heart so I suspect something cardiovascular. But not only am I grieving the lost of my sweet, smart, gentle, affectionate, one in a million soulmate, the fact that I wasn't there is tearing me apart. I hate to think of him being alone and scared and suffering and wondering where his momma was. I wish someone could assure me he died quickly and painlessly. I wish I could have held him at the end and stroked his soft fur and told him how much I loved him. If I could only know how he died it would help me come to terms with me. Not knowing is horrible. I miss him so much and the future now looks completely bleak and desolate.

 

[IndyJones]

Often times with cardiovascular related death it is very peaceful. My old cat died of a heart event in my arms. It was like she just fell asleep and didn't wake up. I couldn't have asked for a more peaceful way for her to go.

Hopefully this is how your boy went too.

 

[Tik cat's mum]

I'm so sorry for your loss. With you saying he had a problem with his heart I'm thinking it was quick and painless. You could not see this coming and I'm sure Tiberius knew how much you loved him.

 

[di and bob]

Your love was there, and it surrounded him in comfort. Love is spiritual, so everpresent, and unending. He died at home surrounded by that love and held you in his heart as you will hold him for eternity. He is at peace because of that love......
It is hard losing a soulmate, something you never get over, you learn to live with it. None of us are guaranteed another day, and to die at home quickly, with no lingering wasting illness and endless suffering is a blessing. Try not to dwell on his end, though I know that is impossible right now, but try to celebrate his life and having had him share your life's journey for a while. Though he now follows a new path, it will forever parallel your own, your souls are tied together by the love you shared over those years. "Death cannot take that which never dies". He will be as close as your thoughts and prayers.
He would never want to bring you such sadness. Just as you would want for him if you were the first to go, so he wants for you. To live the rest of your life with happiness, seeking life's joys and opening your heart to love and all the wonders it holds. To add on to his love, to let it flourish in sunshine, not darkness. That is love.
To be remembered and loved is a great honor. He took a piece of your heart with him for comfort, but he left behind a piece of his own for your own comfort, and memories of the good times you shared for the years ahead.
My heart goes out to you, I know how much this hurts. Even though each person's grief is an individual and personal hell, I can empathize because I have stood in your shoes. I'll pray for your little boy, and that you find the peace your poor heart is seeking. Take care, there are others who need you.....RIP sweet Tiberius. You will never be forgotten, you will forever have a secure place in loving hearts. May the good Lord bless and keep you, until you meet again!

 

[les26]

I am so sorry that this happened to you, but you certainly had no way of knowing it would. I am sure that like the others said he just peacefully drifted off to sleep, and he knew that you loved him and took care of him all these years and when you meet again one day down the line he will say "thank you for taking such good care of me", he holds no ill will against you because you were not there.

I have found the homeopathic remedy Ignatia Amara very helpful in times of sudden grief, loss, shock and it has no side effects, it works with your body not numbing it like drugs do. But the only true "cure" is time, and it will be very tough emotionally for awhile but eventually the sun will come out again and you will be able to deal with it somewhat better.

"Their last breath on Earth is their first breath in Heaven"

I am sorry for your loss, I hope that your heart heals a bit more each day, God Bless......

 

[nurseangel]

I am so sorry for your loss. Please don't blame yourself. You and your husband could not possibly have predicted this. Maybe I shouldn't say this, but many times animals prefer to be alone before they Cross. I tried to spend the last night with my RB cat Blackberry by sleeping next to her on the floor and she moved away from me. My prayers are with you and your husband.

 

[Antonio65]

E Elizabethsm , I'm so sorry for your sudden loss.

My sweet cat Pallina died during the night while I was sleeping. She was sick, very sick, she was going to have an important surgery the next morning, but she didn't make it. I had checked on her an hour before I found her dead, and, just like you I can't come to terms with it, after nearly two years, I can't forgive myself.

The only thing I can tell you to help you, is that your Tiberius very likely didn't realize of what was happening to him. He was exploring your dining room and in a blink of an eye he found himself exploring an immense green meadow. He didn't ask himself what happened, he wasn't scared, he just enjoyed the new environment and his new friends. He knows you are not with him physically, but he feels you next to him, and he's next to you. He knows that there's a link between you and him, a link that can't be broken, because it is made of Love.
You will never lose each other.

RIP Tiberius, take care of your parents and your brother Claudius.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Rest you gentle, Tiberius, dream you deep. Your pawprints are on someone's heart forever.

Let me ask you something. If you had known, would you have stayed at home? Of course you would have. There is no blame or guilt to attach to not knowing the unknowable. I believe, with all my heart, that Antonio65 is right...between one breath and the next, he was on his Next Great Adventure. Cardiac episodes in cats tend to be very quick. They go from "OOOH, I feel funny" to "OOOH, what a beautiful place this is!" in the blink of an eye. And regardless, Tiberius, from his new home in That Place Where All Things Are Known knows how much you love him, and how much you wish you could have been there. And he sends his love, now translated and purified into Love, back to you to comfort you.

 

[Elizabethsm]

I want to thank you all so much for your kind and beautiful words of support and comfort and reassurance. They have been so helpful. I reread them many times and I have saved all your comments in a word document. I am going to put together a scrapbook of my beloved Tiberius, filled with pictures and comforting and consoling words of love like those you have extended to me. I cannot tell you how much it means to me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.