I think my cat is anti-social!

[tiggs2012]

Hi, I have 2 cats that mean the world to me, a male Sam and a female Tiggs.

I would like to ask about my male Sam. When I say he is anti-social I don't mean he isn't friendly with people, he loves people. What i mean is he just will not get along with other cats!

I got him when he was 8 weeks old along with his brother Tommy, they got on so great and were the best of pals until Tommy had to have his tail amputated due getting it caught on barb wire fencing! This was when they were about 7/8 months old. When Tommy got back from the vets he had to be refined to a cage until he was well again! This didn't bother him too much but it did Sam. When he was allowed out of the cage after 10 days, he would approach Sam to play but Sam would hiss at him. He stopped playing with his toys and overtime even stopped spending any time with his brother! He started biting people's hands when you stroked him too much too, and not little bites either. He's not a nasty cat though, I'm so confused!

Anyway his behaviour stayed like this for a while, but then I brought home a stray female Tiggs, she had been hanging around my place of work for weeks and was so skinny. My intention was to feed her up, get her healthy and find her a new home but after seeing how well she got on with Tommy I decided to keep her. I thought because she was a female Sam would accept her too...How wrong could I have been!

Sam became a total nightmare! He would start fights with both Tommy and Tigger! He started sleeping (and living) in a completely separate room to his brother, who he had shared a room with for 2 years by this point. He hated every cat that crossed his path! Eventually he chased Tommy off. He still lives nearby and comes back occasionally for food and cuddles but he has not been inside the house for over a year.

I took Sam to the vets and explained the situation and the vet recommended I have him neutered, which I did but he's still the same. He attacks Tigger every opportunity he gets. Tigger is smaller than he is, but is very brave and stands upto him when she can. But now Tigger is pregnant and I am worried she may hurt her babies in an attempt to stop Sam hurting them, which he will if he sees them, I know he will.

I just don't know what to do, I've done everything I can think of. I love him so much, he's my boy, but I just don't think I can cope with him attacking ALL the cats on the street!

I get complaints off all my neighbours about him but they don't realise I have the same problem as they do but I have to live with it and so does Tigger! Please help me!

 

[Ms. Freya]

Hi tiggs2012,
You have a few different challenges going on here so I'll try to keep address them as clearly as possible.

First off, if I'm reading your post correctly, out of the three cats in your post only Sam is neutered. I would make neutering Tommy and spaying Tiggs a priority as that might be the core of your issues. Two adult, un-neutered male cats will almost always fight with one another because their hormones tell them they have to. You already have Sam neutered, which is great, but if you were to do Tommy too, it's possible they two of them could be re-introduced and go back to being friendly. When we got our Random, he was stand-offish with other males but after his neuter he sleeps with, plays with and grooms our other male, Wendel with no issues. Neutering is pretty much a necessity for male cats to get along.

As for Tigger, you'll want to get her spayed as soon as possible. Sexually mature female cats can have several litters of kittens a year - something that would be very hard on her as well as add a large number of extra cats. Also, by leaving her intact, the un-neutered ales in the area will try to fight for her (your boys included) - they can't help it. It's what tom cats do. So definitely start with getting everyone spayed and neutered.

Once that's sorted, I would separate Tigger and Sam, and slowly re-introduce them after she's had and weaned her kittens and been spayed. I wouldn't let him anywhere near her while she's pregnant or has the kittens. Pregnant and nursing cats will do whatever they can to protect their kittens.

Finally, is it possible to keep him and her inside? if he's aggressive or feeling threatened, keeping him away from the other cats might go a long way to helping the situation and you might be able to get Tommy to come and stay back with you.

Best of luck. I'm sure some of our other members will be along soon with some suggestions.

 

[GemsGem]

Oh dear ! I hate to say it but I think the problem here was you got him neutered to late. He was behaving like a typical entire ( un neutered ) male cat. Unfortunately this behaviour then went on too long and developed into a habit. Which is why the neutering now has not worked.

This is one of the reasons neutering no later than at 6 months old is recommend. Before they reach sexual maturity to much. It's not just to stop them producing kittens it's also to stop unwanted behaviours like this.

I'm not saying all entire male cats will act like this if not neutered. Just the more dominant ones certainly will.

Neutering the other boy should be the first thing you should do as Sam is still seeing him as a threat to his territory and possible females in his area.

 

[GemsGem]

Also just wanted to add as your girl is pregnant that she can come back into heat and get pregnant again in as little as two weeks after giving birth. So you must not let her out or let your cat Tommy anywhere near her until she as been spayed after weaning the kittens.

Also male cats can still get females pregnant up to one month I think it is after being neutered. So even after you neuter Tommy you must not let him near her until at least a month after that.

 

[tiggs2012]

Tiggers story is a long one but basically after I'd had her for a few months I thought she could be pregnant, but when I took her to the vets he confirmed she definately wasn't and also because she had been living with, therefore exposed to, male cat(s), the chances were she had already been spayed! Believe me when I say will most definately be getting her spayed after the birth, they are due really soon so as soon as I can, I am getting her booked into the vets.

Tommy is no longer living with me at all, he became stray. When I say stray I mean he became stray to me. He ran away from home but he now lives with an old woman at the end of my road, though I only just found this out today when I saw him and followed him. He seems happier there so I let him stay with her. But i really miss him. He will always be mine in my heart though.

Also, I have tried on numerous times to keep Sam indoors but he always gets out. And with Tiggers litter due soon I have just give in to him and let him out whenever he wants so that he is distracted enough to leave her alone. It seems to work for now! I know my situation is not an ideal one but I do what I can when I can.

Tigger isn't so bothered about going out. She prefers to be indoors, she has a litter tray which she uses often and if she does go out I make sure Sam is inside the house. Sam never used his litter tray, he would just pee in a corner if I didn't let him out!

I keep them completely separate when I can but it is not always possible. Do you think Sam's behaviour could change in time. Is it possible, out of habit, he still fights over females as well as fighting with them? Since taking in Tigger I've wanted to do the same for others but I can't unless Sam changes and I just don't think he will.

I'd never owned a cat before and had no clue about all this territory business, obviously I figured this out out the hard way, but I do love them, im surprised myself how much I love them.

Thanks for the advice :-)

 

[tiggs2012]

Also just wanted to add as your girl is pregnant that she can come back into heat and get pregnant again in as little as two weeks after giving birth. So you must not let her out or let your cat Tommy anywhere near her until she as been spayed after weaning the kittens.

When can I get her spayed after the birth? Will it affect her nursing her babies?

 

[Willowy]

Is there some way you can get Tommy neutered even if he prefers to hang out down the street? Reducing the number of whole tomcats in the neighborhood will certainly cut down on cat fights, and it's terrible to think of him fathering hundreds of kittens who will probably be killed for lack of homes . Not to mention you'd be doing the elderly lady a favor so he'll be less likely to spray in her home. You might also try to get together with the neighbors to try to get all the cats in the area altered. The more cats who can be spayed/neutered, the better it will be for everybody. Definitely more peaceful.

When the babies are born, give Tigger her own room away from all other cats so she doesn't get nervous about the safety of her kittens. Keep her in there until she's been spayed. She can be spayed when the kittens are fully weaned and her milk bags have gone down---usually 9-12 weeks after birthing.

 

[tiggs2012]

I guess I can help her, I'm going to take some toys and bits that I have here to her house tomorrow, So I will talk to her about getting him booked into the PDSA. They will neuter tom's for a donation. I think it's £30?

As for the whole neighbourhood spay/neuter thing, asking the people in my area to do something good is like asking Jesus Christ to resurrect again. It won't happen! These people don't really care for their animals, I'm in my situation due to being uneducated about the full extend of cat ownership and I hold my hands up to that. But I have learnt the hard way. Also I have tried to reason with them before. I quoted to them what the vet said to me about feline AIDs to which one woman replied "really? I didn't know that! Oh well, I never wanted the stupid thing anyway I wish it would just (insert obscene language) she couldn't ever refer to her cat by its gender. How could somebody say that about another living creature. There are some evil people out there.

I do appreciate what you are saying i do, but I can't be the one responsible for all those cats, as much as I would love to, I can't!

 

[tiggs2012]

Thanks for the advice on Tigger though I will most certainly be getting her booked in and spayed ASAP! :-)

 

[Ms. Freya]

It is possible once both of them are altered and Tigger's kittens weaned that you can re-introduce them and get them at least living with each other. You can find more information about introductions here:http://www.thecatsite.com/a/introducing-cats-to-cats

 

[tiggs2012]

Hiya, it's been a while since I posted on this thread, in the last couple of months my male cat Sam has been more chilled with other cats.

Though I do have a few questions.
1. He's seems to have accepted Tiggers kitten Felix fine, he is 10 weeks now. However he does sometimes get too rough with him, is this something to be concerned about. At night all three sleep in separate rooms, this is because I can't trust Sam with any of the other 2. And also because I am weaning Felix of his mom Tigger.

2. Sam seems to be accepting Tigger now. She had Felix by emergency cesarean as her labour didn't progress as it should have. However she is the one who is being funny with Sam...so their behavious have kind of switched. Does any one know why this could be?

Thanks in advance for the reply :-)

 

[alistair]

Tigger is being protective of her kittens and doesn't want Sam around them.

 

[tiggs2012]

At first that's what I thought. But I've noticed she doesn't mind when he's playing with Felix, it's just when he approaches her. She doesn't think twice about pinching his food though haha.

Also, just a quick note, Felix is Tiggers only kitten. She gave birth to 2 naturally but they both sadly died.