I've had Precious since last July&she was 8-9weeks @the time(born I think May14 or 21,2012)....now she's abt 1yr&3months (give or take). I got my new kitten,Lil' Missy(7weeks old now) abt a month ago and Precious is still aggressive towards Lil' Missy. She growls&hisses @her constantly. The past week she has come up to Lil' Missy but when she sniffs her she growls&swats @her with her paw. I don't see claws as swats @her but just the same. I know it's going to take time for Precious to warm up to Lil' Missy but Precious has been mean with me,my husband&kinda with my 4yr old son. There are a lot of times when i pick Precious up&place her on my lap to pet her or scratch her ears&neck she ends up growling&hissing @us. Even when Lil' Missy is in our bedroom not around Precious. Previous was never the type to lay on our laps(just lay close by) or come to us when called but she was a sweet cat when we pet&scratched her. She was mainly a companion for our 4yr old son. They would chase each other&play rough. Our son would crawl by Precious head down&Precious would sit up&put both paws on his head like she would hug him. It was a cute bond but she's just been so aggressive that I would fear she would hurt him because the day we brought Lil' Missy home Precious scratched our son's face&neck bad. I'm currently 36weeks pregnant and I'm fearing that when my baby is born that Precious will be aggressive with the baby and if so I might have to get rid if Precious. I don't want to but she might give me no choice. Any ideas on how to deal with this??
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I think my cat hates me because I brought a new kitten into our home
- Thread starter samanthag721
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I would leave Precious alone. She sounds like she's having a hard time adjusting to the new kitten. You may not realize how much that disrupted her life but its similar to how the new baby will come home and have everyone in an uproar for a few months - until you all get used to the new presence.
Please don't force her to do anything. Allow her to come to know Little Missy in her own time. If she swats the new kitty, separate them. For that matter, if she swats you son, separate them. It sounds like she's a little overwhelmed and maybe your son's playing with her is just pushing her over the edge. When cats have to make adjustments like this, even old routines can put them on edge, so your son's playing with her may just be too much for her to deal with right now.
Have patience and give her time and space. Things should calm down soon.
Please don't force her to do anything. Allow her to come to know Little Missy in her own time. If she swats the new kitty, separate them. For that matter, if she swats you son, separate them. It sounds like she's a little overwhelmed and maybe your son's playing with her is just pushing her over the edge. When cats have to make adjustments like this, even old routines can put them on edge, so your son's playing with her may just be too much for her to deal with right now.
Have patience and give her time and space. Things should calm down soon.
I tend to agree with the prior response. If it's possible for you to keep Precious in a separate location for awhile, and just introduce your son/kitten's smells to her, it might help whenever you reintroduce. My cat Missy hisses and swats at my kitten Mike whenever he bothers her, but they lay near each other, and she doesn't hide or stalk him so I figure it's okay. It's still early on for both of us so we shouldn't expect them to be bffs right away.
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It's been a month now and still no change. Precious has never been the type to come when called or to lay in our laps but when she walks around us she seems okay. She does walk away from us or even run and when we go to pick her up to lay her on our lap she meows then ends up growling. She's just been very aggressive and I'm due with my 2nd child in 3weeks and I can't bare to let her go but if she doesn't stop acting this way I'm going to have to give her to a shelter for adoption.
You said "when she walks around us she seems ok" and that "she's just been very aggressive"...is she aggressive only during times like when you are tried to make her lay in your lap? If so, I agree with the other members advice and just let her have some space.
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I think the very last choice is giving her away. She is clearly afraid and this is the oh space she k les. Try to think like her. Cats.never hate anti e. They are not anthropomorphic!! So do not ascribed humanities s to a cat. It does not work.'re I introduce the cats VERY slot. Use the towel and banks tricks so she tho k s this kitten has always been here. Have the recheck her. A cat who has never been aggressive e toward children sing does not start all of a sudden, even with written tho it is remotely possible I f the kitten is with him more.
I guess I wonder why you would surrender the cat you have nurtured and loved cor a new model? Grant, that makes no sense. The Der cat will suffer immensely if suddenly torn from the only place he knows for a reason he has no clue about. Use so.e form of positive rid enforcement and he should already now be prepared for the baby,the smells etc. And you ca. Do that easy with baby clothes. Most Der cats like to see themselves as I.important and ruling the roost a d if you took thAt from him so.show, say by not giving him equal attention. As the kitten, that might Crain part of the aggressive tendencies. But most often aggression means pain so perhaps so.so e, your son?,husband, I abstractly stepped on a tail, Tod ,something or th is an internal I hurt. I am assuring he is an I side cats,as most are now. It is just not safe,esp with small children and I say this a
As a Board certified . Pediatrician.
Good luck but pls save your cat and children from unnecessary stress and have a vet check the . Older one out!
I guess I wonder why you would surrender the cat you have nurtured and loved cor a new model? Grant, that makes no sense. The Der cat will suffer immensely if suddenly torn from the only place he knows for a reason he has no clue about. Use so.e form of positive rid enforcement and he should already now be prepared for the baby,the smells etc. And you ca. Do that easy with baby clothes. Most Der cats like to see themselves as I.important and ruling the roost a d if you took thAt from him so.show, say by not giving him equal attention. As the kitten, that might Crain part of the aggressive tendencies. But most often aggression means pain so perhaps so.so e, your son?,husband, I abstractly stepped on a tail, Tod ,something or th is an internal I hurt. I am assuring he is an I side cats,as most are now. It is just not safe,esp with small children and I say this a
As a Board certified . Pediatrician.
Good luck but pls save your cat and children from unnecessary stress and have a vet check the . Older one out!
I agree; she needs space. Let her come to you for her rubs. If she wants to sit in your lap, let her. If she doesn't; try not to take it personal. She is a very normal cat. It can take a few months even for cat to acclimate to one another. Adding your new baby may be another stressor on her. Patience and following her lead will be your best bet.
My kids are 3 and 1; as a rule I never leave left them alone with my girls when they were babies. Even now they sleep with their doors shut. Noodles is my grumpy one; after 8 years (she was a tiny kitten when we got them) we have to let her smell our hand before we can pet her. She does come to me for affection; but it's always on her terms. Mostly my 2 keep their distance from the kids now that they are mobile. As babies the closest they got was to sit in my lap if I fed the kids on the couch. You may have to work on your 4 year old giving Precious some space too. My vet recommended I use a Feliway diffuser when bringing our 2nd home because Mooch was stressed with my DD's birth. Things worked out with just a few bumps in the road. Noodles actually can put my 3 year old in line faster than I can if she is getting too rambunctious in the house. She only once left a scratch on her. Now she just looks at her and DD chills. But Noodles also knows DD is the one to give her treats and occasionally Noodles will lay at the foot of her bed if I'm reading to DD there. It's a work in progress.
Just to add; cats will pick up on our stress. With all the changes going on and soon to come in your house; Precious may be sensing everything.
My kids are 3 and 1; as a rule I never leave left them alone with my girls when they were babies. Even now they sleep with their doors shut. Noodles is my grumpy one; after 8 years (she was a tiny kitten when we got them) we have to let her smell our hand before we can pet her. She does come to me for affection; but it's always on her terms. Mostly my 2 keep their distance from the kids now that they are mobile. As babies the closest they got was to sit in my lap if I fed the kids on the couch. You may have to work on your 4 year old giving Precious some space too. My vet recommended I use a Feliway diffuser when bringing our 2nd home because Mooch was stressed with my DD's birth. Things worked out with just a few bumps in the road. Noodles actually can put my 3 year old in line faster than I can if she is getting too rambunctious in the house. She only once left a scratch on her. Now she just looks at her and DD chills. But Noodles also knows DD is the one to give her treats and occasionally Noodles will lay at the foot of her bed if I'm reading to DD there. It's a work in progress.
Just to add; cats will pick up on our stress. With all the changes going on and soon to come in your house; Precious may be sensing everything.
Precious needs time to adjust to this intrusion of this lil kitten into her space.
Grab up a bunch of wash clothes. Rub the kitten all over with them. Put the clothes all over the house in places Precious sleeps and 1 under her food. Keep refreshing the scent of the kitten by repeating this a couple of times a day. This type of scent swapping will allow Precious to become accustomed to the kittens smell as being a good thing. If precious like to be brushed, you can brush the kitten (especially around the face) and then brush Precious with the same brush. Same principle that the kitten scent will bring her pleasure.
Let Precious set the pace and allow her to just get used to all the new changes. When your baby (and before hand) arrives, allow Precious to smell baby things. Let her see all the baby items long before the baby comes, so she'll get her curiosity of those items long out of her system by the time baby comes home.
Please do not rehome her. You are her family and it's not her fault that the changes have stressed her. You could also try some Feliway diffusers around the house and they may help calm her.
This. I really can't believe you are considering rehoming her and think it is cruel. Essentially, you brought a new kitten into the mix and now that precious is (understandably) stressed out, you are just like 'whelp, tough luck, guess I'll just keep my tiny kitten'.
Please do not rehome her. You are her family and it's not her fault that the changes have stressed her. You could also try some Feliway diffusers around the house and they may help calm her.
As a point of reference, 1 month to get used to a new kitten is very very little time. Lots of cats take way longer than 1 month to adjust to a major change. 3-4 months is normal/common/standard.
I don't see why you can't put Precious in her own room for a bit. Give her space. Let her come to you. Regarding the new baby, if you are really concerned, just keep her away from the new baby at first until Precious is thoroughly used to her scent and the baby is a bit bigger. As a separate issue are you quite sure your 4 year old is not antagonizing her in some way? I don't mean intentionally but...As a future FYI, small kids and kittens generally don't mix. While you might not ever be in this situation again (pregnancies tend to be rare-ish) it is better to have older cats when you have young kids, both for the safety of the kids and for the safety of the cats.
Also as a future FYI, the kitten is way too young to be away from mom and littermates. You got her at 3 weeks and that is just way way too young. The kitten is likely to have future behavior problems due to this as well.
I really hope you will take this in the spirit in which it is intended, but I truly think you need to read up on cats in general. You don't seem to know very much about them and how they 'work'. That is totally understandable- cats are not easy for most people to intuitively understand. it takes a lot of work and learning to be a truly good cat parent, and lots of people are unprepared because they just think cats are 'easier' than dogs. To me, that is laughable- having a litterbox does not 'easier' make IMO. I really encourage you to read some of the articles here when you have time.
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The three posts above said what I attempted but somehow auto correct changed the essential message. Please keep your cat and most kittens find new homes @ 12 wks. But then I have Siamse. But others too. Occasionally,rescues will permit the adoption of kittens @ 8 weeks but I still prefer 12. Please help your baby cat who was there first. Thanks.
This is no joke....I think your cat environment has a lot gong on. New kitten, and a new baby on the way. Your cat is seeking negitive attention to get noticed. If you feel threaten by all means adopt him out before your baby's new arrival. Meow... I'm so sorry. NOTICE Warning signs.
You need to re-home the new kitten. The mistake you made was waiting over a year to bring in a second kitten. You have allowed Precious to develop the "only cat" syndrome. This could have been avoided if you had adopted two kittens at the same time.
I work with a rescue group and we do not adopt out single kittens for this very reason. The single kitten doesn't get properly socialized to other cats and so they don't know how to interact with them. It's like if you isolated your son from ANY OTHER children for the first 10 years of his life and then expected him to know how to interact and play with them. Single kittens often grow up to be exactly like Precious, they do not accept new animals into their home.
Since you caused her to be this way by not giving her other kittens to play with in her first developmental year, the only real solution is to re-home the kitten or if your home is large enough and they can sort out the space bring in another kitten so the young kitten has the playmate she is looking for and will leave Precious alone. You also need to isolate the two young kittens so they have each other and then you gradually mix the scents of Precious and the two kittens and all the family members by exchanging bedding of the cats/kittens and t-shirts or similar clothing of the humans.
If you don't want to do either of these two things then you need to isolate the kitten from Precious (which will give you a lonely kitten) and gradually exchange the betting, clothing mixing the scents of each person & animal. Scent is one of the most important senses for cats, it is 3000 times greater than our sense of smell.
The second mistake you made was to bring in another female, female - female is the hardest combination of cats to introduce so you are going to have a lot of patience and allow Precious all the time she needs to accept another female in her space. It will take awhile but after a few weeks she will get use to the kitten's scent and by not seeing her or being annoyed by her will begin to accept her in her home. They may never be friends but should tolerate each other.
You also need to start introducing baby things, baby smells and baby noises. In this area I am not an expert but there are some good articles on the internet. Please read them now and start the process. Precious will need to get comfortable with the baby BEFORE it arrives or again she will be upset by the new smells & noises in the house. You caused Precious to be the way she is by bringing her in as an only kitten so please be patient with her and allow her time to adjust to the changes in your life & her life.
btw my answer is based on placing over 1000 cats and kittens into new homes through 13 years of rescue.
I work with a rescue group and we do not adopt out single kittens for this very reason. The single kitten doesn't get properly socialized to other cats and so they don't know how to interact with them. It's like if you isolated your son from ANY OTHER children for the first 10 years of his life and then expected him to know how to interact and play with them. Single kittens often grow up to be exactly like Precious, they do not accept new animals into their home.
Since you caused her to be this way by not giving her other kittens to play with in her first developmental year, the only real solution is to re-home the kitten or if your home is large enough and they can sort out the space bring in another kitten so the young kitten has the playmate she is looking for and will leave Precious alone. You also need to isolate the two young kittens so they have each other and then you gradually mix the scents of Precious and the two kittens and all the family members by exchanging bedding of the cats/kittens and t-shirts or similar clothing of the humans.
If you don't want to do either of these two things then you need to isolate the kitten from Precious (which will give you a lonely kitten) and gradually exchange the betting, clothing mixing the scents of each person & animal. Scent is one of the most important senses for cats, it is 3000 times greater than our sense of smell.
The second mistake you made was to bring in another female, female - female is the hardest combination of cats to introduce so you are going to have a lot of patience and allow Precious all the time she needs to accept another female in her space. It will take awhile but after a few weeks she will get use to the kitten's scent and by not seeing her or being annoyed by her will begin to accept her in her home. They may never be friends but should tolerate each other.
You also need to start introducing baby things, baby smells and baby noises. In this area I am not an expert but there are some good articles on the internet. Please read them now and start the process. Precious will need to get comfortable with the baby BEFORE it arrives or again she will be upset by the new smells & noises in the house. You caused Precious to be the way she is by bringing her in as an only kitten so please be patient with her and allow her time to adjust to the changes in your life & her life.
btw my answer is based on placing over 1000 cats and kittens into new homes through 13 years of rescue.
There is no need to rehome either of them. Precious just needs the time and space to get used to the kitten being there, and she WILL. Growling and hissing is quite normal and is her way of telling the kitten that she is top cat around there. The kitten will learn to give Precious her space.
Does Precious enjoy play of any kind? If you can divert her attention off the kitten with some play, this would reinforce to Precious that she is not being replaced. It may also help return her bond to you. She needs some extra attention. Grooming and offering treats after a play session could also help.
Does Precious enjoy play of any kind? If you can divert her attention off the kitten with some play, this would reinforce to Precious that she is not being replaced. It may also help return her bond to you. She needs some extra attention. Grooming and offering treats after a play session could also help.
While I do think IF you end up rehoming, the kitten would be easier to place and so I agree for that reason, I agree with Katluver4life that there is no need to rehome either of them. I also have A LOT of rescue experience. While I don't think Precious and the new kitten will necessarily ever be 'besties' I don't believe any of this about 'only kitten syndrome' meaning that precious can never adapt to a new kitten. There is absolutely no reason AT ALL to think these cats cannot eventually coexist. It may take a LOT of time and patience, but it is extremely rare that peaceful coexistence cannot be achieved. I don't say it is NEVER impossible but I think it's impossible maybe... 1 time out of 500 or so, and even less if you are genuinely committed to working it out. Precious just needs time and perhaps to be isolated and reintroduced to the kitten SLOWLY.
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I know what you r going through. When I brought my new kitten home my other kitten changed.
I have a 5 month old and 3 month old, both females. The 5 mo is distant and the 3 mo is nervous.
They both get along and play but my 5 mo has changed her personality. The 3 mo is aggressive.
If my 5 mo comes to share her bowl the 3 mo growls. It will take time, I knew that but it is frustrating.
I hope they can except each other. I only brought the 3 mo for companionship for my 5 mo. Don't
give up on her, it isn't her fault you decided to bring another kitten home. Patience and good luck!
I have a 5 month old and 3 month old, both females. The 5 mo is distant and the 3 mo is nervous.
They both get along and play but my 5 mo has changed her personality. The 3 mo is aggressive.
If my 5 mo comes to share her bowl the 3 mo growls. It will take time, I knew that but it is frustrating.
I hope they can except each other. I only brought the 3 mo for companionship for my 5 mo. Don't
give up on her, it isn't her fault you decided to bring another kitten home. Patience and good luck!
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I posted a reply about me bringing another kitten home for my other kitten.
Well as of today they r best friends, they sleep and eat with each other.
I took a few months about 2 but I'm glad I did it. It seems like it takes forever
but it is worth it once u c then playing together. They're buddies, which is
what I wanted. Just a warning they're r like 2 toddlers, but I sooo love them.
I now can't imagine my life without them. They make me smile when they
sit on my chest and groom me!
Well as of today they r best friends, they sleep and eat with each other.
I took a few months about 2 but I'm glad I did it. It seems like it takes forever
but it is worth it once u c then playing together. They're buddies, which is
what I wanted. Just a warning they're r like 2 toddlers, but I sooo love them.
I now can't imagine my life without them. They make me smile when they
sit on my chest and groom me!
This post has been very helpful I'm in almost the same exact situation. My original cat is a male and I've had him for almost 5 yrs and got him as a kitten. I had a 6 yr old female at the time I brought him home and it didn't take long for them to become close friends. She hissed and growled at home a bit at first. They lived together for 4 yrs until she died from kidney failure and he was the only cat of the house for about 8 months until I got another female kitten. I thought he would be happy to have a companion but he is NOT. same thing as this original post, he growls and kisses at her and he canNOT tolerate my kids anymore. He growls and hisses at them no matter what. He is fine with me and my hubby and still purrs for us as long as the kitten is nowhere near by. I feel so bad he is so grumpy and unhappy now and it's been about 2 weeks.. all the kitten wants is to play with him! I hope he comes around..
Hi...your cat problem is most properly gone by now...or you have given your cat for adoption. I'm writing because many people out there sits with the same problems. I have the same issue...small kitten and a aggresive older one. What most people say on this site is correct and very informative....what also should be consider is this: When a cat (or another animal) survival is threatened, he will act in this way. In a home with many people a cat will decide who is the main peanut...the one that buy's the food and give him the food. When a new person or animal comes to stay...the older cat stresses...will there be enough food. I think also that a peson should give such a cat enough space. give him as usual his food...sing songs to him as usual ...if that is what you usually did..sweet words and so on. Don't hold the cat if he doesn't want to be hold. Then start feeding the new kitten and the cat together...put enough space between them...and in time put them closer to each other. Let they sort each other out. The older one will make noises, but will seldom hurt a small kitten. He will rather leave the place and flee to the outside. Make another space available for the older one to sleep if the old space is occupied by the newer one. Anyway this is my two cents.
...if that is what you usually did..sweet words and so on. Don't hold the cat if he doesn't want to be hold. Then start feeding the new kitten and the cat together...put enough space between them...and in time put them closer to each other. Let they sort each other out. The older one will make noises, but will seldom hurt a small kitten. He will rather leave the place and flee to the outside. Make another space available for the older one to sleep if the old space is occupied by the newer one. Anyway this is my two cents.When the older cat sees that there is enough food everyday for all of them, I believe he will come around. Be patient.
