I think my adopted cat is unhappy with me

[jefferd18]

Congratulations on your new kitty- how exciting.

Two weeks is not very long to get to know a cat, especially one who has been through trauma (no telling what she had been through in her last home). It could take months before she learns she can trust you. I would confine her to a small space that has a place where she can hide. That second part is important because she has to have some kind of shelter where she can retreat to whenever things overwhelm her.

 

[Krienze]

As most have said, 2 weeks seems like a short period of time to determine anything. She is probably still adjusting to the new home. If she wasn't really trained well, you may have to teach her how to use her litter box by putting some of her poop into it and actually placing her inside. Positive reinforcement works with cats too so if you see her use her litter box, try giving her a treat.

You also want to make sure you're cleaning the spots with something that really gets the smell up. If you don't get the smell up, she will constantly keep going there because she thinks she should. Look up some good enzyme cleaners. Once you clean the spot, I'd suggest putting a wee wee pad down there just to try and make clean up easier for any future messes.

If you suspect that she might be used to going outside, what about filling her litter box with soil? (someone, please correct me if this is a bad idea!)

None of this is your fault and I don't think it means she's not the right cat for you. I think you just need to keep trying. Cats don't do this sort of stuff without a reason so I really think if you stick it out and find the source of the reason, you'll figure it out and things will work out =) Don't give up on her yet! <3 Good luck!!

 

[geekai]

Willowy: I am using silica litter. I tried another one that was made from natural wood like material but she didn't touch it at all.
[B]molly92[/B]: thanks again! as for toys I will my local store, and I've been that tennis table balls work quite well. I think it might be helpful because I feel like she's scared of seeing/feeling hands near her as well.

 

[geekai]

danteshuman: I hear you. I do think the shelter pushed for her to be adopted. They regularly get cats from hoarders so they would get anywhere from 20 to 60 cats so I do think they push for adoptions and I understand why. However I don’t think she’s feral, I don’t know that much about feral cats but from I’ve seen they seem way more closed off and even agressive.


As for the shelter, one another is she was adopted quickly after being taken from her previous home so I don’t think the shelter had a lot of information about her. The lady told me all the cats were shy and she advocated grabbing them by the neck and forcing them to be pet which is something I don’t do because I feel like it would be traumatising for her. I will definitely wait at least a few months and try everything I can before giving up. I do think it would be very difficult to keep her as she’s only if it stays like this. But it would make me sad and I don’t even know if I could take her back to the shelter or anything.


As for the box she has a cat tree with a little house and I’ll try putting another one somewhere in the room.

Molly92 again: My apartment is two bedroom and she only had access to one plus the kitchen where her food is.

jefferd18: thanks for answering. As I said she has some places to hide. I know it can take time. One friend is a foster family for two sisters. And they used to hide and couldn’t be touched at all, now it’s three months later and they go on their lap and everything so I do have hope that the same could happen for us.


Krienze: I would try to put her inside but since she doesn’t like contract I can’t grab her right now and put her in. But I’ll definitely try if she lets me.
I’m gonna buy puppy pads tomorrow and I’ve been cleaning with white vinegar but I don’t know if the smell is strong enough. So i’ll look other methods up.
I didn’t think about soil but that might be a good idea!
Thanks for the encouragement! I’m not giving up just yet.

Sorry for the double posting, my computer messed up.

However for a general update: last night she got on my bed and stayed on my feet for a little while, like a few minutes and right now she's at the end of the bed on the wooden part so I guess it's good she gets used to my smell and everything. I suspect she stays on the bed while I'm not here.

 

[Hellenww]

She looks sweet and the picture speaks of hope. She is holding her self as a tight ball but I'm first thought was nervous not scared. She is not cowering or hiding, her eyes are not dilated, and her ears are forward and interested.

She might not be ready for a string toy yet. When she is I recomend The Original Cat Dancer. You can hold your hand still and bounces so kitty is not afraid of a moving hand. You can also get a small variety pack of toys at most places that sell cat food. Sit on the floor and bat it from hand to hand while she is watching and leave them near where she hangs out. Maybe she'll feel safe to play when she's alone. I've never met a cat that didn't love a tennis table ball and when she feels safer to run around I bet she'll have fun with them.

 

[IndyJones]

I can't believe the lady at the shelter told you to grab her by the neck and basically force her to be pet. That will only upset the poor thing.

Grabbing the neck/scruff is actually a restraint technique used by vets for uncooperative cats and dogs.

I would not recommend using restraint unless its absolutely necessary and you know what you are doing. Done improperly it can injure an animal.

 

[geekai]

Hellenww Yeah I think she would probably feel more confortable if I'm not around to play so I'll try that.

IndyJones She told me so several times and I never did it because it seemed very violent. And also I know it can be done for kittens but she's 1 so her weight is a lot heavier and I was worried about injuries. So yeah I didn't do it and that's why I'm also scared of going to the vet. I don't wanna have to do that to get her to the carrier. Hopefully I can trick her into it with treats.

 

[kittyluv387]

Hellenww Yeah I think she would probably feel more confortable if I'm not around to play so I'll try that.

IndyJones She told me so several times and I never did it because it seemed very violent. And also I know it can be done for kittens but she's 1 so her weight is a lot heavier and I was worried about injuries. So yeah I didn't do it and that's why I'm also scared of going to the vet. I don't wanna have to do that to get her to the carrier. Hopefully I can trick her into it with treats.

Yes if I have to scruff my adult cats I always support their bottom with my free hand. They are much too heavy as adults to just hold by the neck.

 

[danteshuman]

I have seen thekittenlady videos where she wraps them in a towel & carries them to get them used handling. Not even she scruffs and holds!!! I agree it is to violent!

It sounds like she isn’t feral (great news) and is starting to trust you (by laying at the foot of the bed by you.) Many scaredy cats get all cuddly in your sleep. Can you spend an hour reading/phone surfing while laying on the floor in her room each day? Talking to her or even reading out loud will help to.

Yeah you need an enzyme cleaner. The pee pads are a good idea. If needed you can put a handful of fine clumping litter on the pads (I use tidycats unscented but invest in lightweight because I’m disabled.)

Unfortunately for cats with litter box avoidance issues locking them in a room helps them need to use the box. Which I know is not what anyone wants to do but it helps. Locking our reformed feral in one room (who insists on going outside to pee/poop!!!). While he was being treated for kidney issues (?antifreeze?) caused him to begrudgingly use his litter box ...... but we cleaned it out 4 times a day for him. I think two large boxes cleaned out once or twice a day should work. If she is a litter kicker or a cat that stands when they pee You can use a tub with a smooth bottom or as smooth as you can get. It worked for Cami who likes to hang her but out of the box and poop on the mat and Nick (in picture) who is going to the Olympics for litter hurling
I have (with a plastic bag) dropped a poop into the litter box and covered it to train kittens. Heck one time I got clean litter/box and showed kittens how to dig using my two first fingers as paws. (It worked!) So even if it sounds silly, do what you have to do!
if she prefers potting soil, you can work with that. You start putting a box full of soil with one maybe two handfuls of non clumping litter mixed in it. Then every week you add another handful of litter and remove a handful of soil. Until they transition to litter.


Again she sounds traumatized, like she may have never used a box but not feral (yeah!) I cant wait to hear what she is really like when she fully trusts you!

 

[cataholic07]

Try cat attract litter with 2 uncovered, unlined litter boxes. If she continues to pee outside the litter box after a week, please bring her to the vet to check for utis. Stress is a very common reason why cats get UTIs. And honestly it can take months for some cats to settle in so don't stress too much about it. Make sure you are feeding regulated meals only (never free feeding), give her treats often, and have little hideways placed in the other areas of the apartment to. This way she can be out with you but still hiding so she can feel comfortable while being around you

The lady who told you to grab her by the neck I would honestly complain to her bosses about. That is horrible advice and she shouldnt be telling anyone that. That's a sure fire way of getting scratched or bit!

 

[geekai]

Hi everyone,
Sorry I didn’t answer all of you before, we’re dealing with the corona virus thing in my country and since I’m a teacher, things have been complicated.

As for an update, I’ve bought another, bigger, uncovered litter box. And I’ve been trying the puppy pads.
She still doesn’t go into the litter boxes but she does her thing on the puppy pads consistently so at least it makes it easier to deal with. I’ve trying to wash the area with an enzyme cleaner and she still goes to the same place so I don’t know if that did much.

As for the litters, I have now 3, 2 of which are uncovered and I have two types of litter in them and I’ve sprayed cat attract. She still doesn’t go. I think I’m gonna try to put the puppy pads into the litter and see if she goes in them with that or if she goes back to the floor.

As for general behaviour, I feel like she’s more confident, she still hides quite a lot but she also goes around the room. When I’m sitting or laying on my bed she roams free, however if she’s something and I get up and walk she’ll run hiding.

But she also gets on the bed, mostly when I’m not there, I came home yesterday and she was sitting on my bed. Of course as soon as she hears or sees me she hides. But she still explores the bed frame when I’m on the bed sometimes and I could ever snap a picture !

So I’m going to try to put the puppy pads in the litter over the next couple of days and if that doesn’t work, I’ll go to the vet.

Thanks again for everything!

 

[catsknowme]

Wonderful updates! Is the cat litter UNscented/fragrance free? Cats have incredibly strong senses of smell and perfumes irritate those sensitive nasal passages. Is it possible to consider adopting another kitten or cat for companionship & as a "mentor"?
As far as the box idea - the theory (an excellent one!) is that the box (a cave to cats) is for the cat to use as a "base camp" just like a human expedition would establish. From base camp, one gradually expands known & confirmed safe territory. A box in a small room is even more ideal because cats tend to feel safer behind closed walls (imagine how you would feel if you were in the bathroom and you heard strange noises in the livingroom).
The scruff-and-hold technique can work well for some trainers - it is very similar in theory to training horses by using a bit. I wouldn't recommend using it on a cat except by experienced trainers. The action is called "bump & release". It is never a harsh or violent motion - just a subtle restraint cue that as soon as the animal is doing what you want, the cue goes away. Some people seem to have a natural knack for it but it definitely is a very refined technique.
Having too many hiding places using furniture, etc, is generally not recommended. Instead, you want to create safe places up high which creates a sense of confidence along with the sense of security. Confidence building is a great goal. Eventually, you will probably be able to get to use tricks. For now, you can find the table or stand and entice her to get up on it by placing treats there & praising her from a distance when she gets up there. You can also confine her to one room (your bedroom is great) while you are gone and give her a "base camp box" plus a litter box on puppy pads to use while you are gone although at this point she may not need it. Once you are home, you can move her base camp box into the main living areas so she can observe you and familiarize herself with the normal household sounds & scents & routines.
You are doing a great job so far - for a first-time owner dealing with a trauma case (she probably misses her other cat family very much), you are a real natural with great instincts. I admire you very much!!

 

[geekai]

Thanks for your answer!

The litters are unscented and I washed one of the boxes with bleach (I was told cats love the smell).

I was thinking about this earlier if she really feels lonely. I live in a small two bedroom apartment (it’s 270 square foot or 25 square meter) so I don’t know if that would be big enough for two cats. I mean I know some people have like 30 cats in smaller places but I would want them to be confortable. And if I do take another one, it’d probably be a kitten so it would be easier to socialise I guess.

I will definitely try to place treats on higher spaces, she spends quite some time under furniture so I guess we’re not quite there yet confidence wise.

Thanks a lot, it’s really nice to hear!

There is a cat expert near my city, I think I might call her and see if she can come to visit her, she can probably better assess if what she really needs is a companion and/or access to the outside, which is what I'm most worried about. I'll update you guys!

 

[geekai]

Sorry for double posting again but ! I put the puppy pads in the litter box and she pooped in it this morning!! I never thought I'd be this excited about my cat pooping but here we are haha
I'll give it a couple days and I'll start adding some litter and see what happens!

 

[di and bob]

Good start! I would get some plain clay litter (clumping) and see if she prefers that. Silica and wood are good, but not what most cats are used to. Since she is especially traumatized, it would naturally take longer for her to adjust. Once she settles down and knows you are there to love her, she will get better. I have had cats take months to get calm. Give her places to hide, and treats when you call her, she will come around1

 

[geekai]

Hey everyone! I wanted to give you a bit of an update.

Shadow and I are self isolating and this has actually done some good for us. She lets me pet her now pretty easily and I could even put her on my knees a couple times (she didn't stay long at all but still !). She also does a couple of funny things: she has figured out how to open the doors by jumping on the handle so that was smart of her and she knows that when I go to the kitchen, I usually give her food so now she waits outside the door and if there is no food she will meow.

However, she still doesn't go to her litter box. I have literally tried everything and I don't know what to do. I can't go to the vet right now because my vet only takes emergencies during the quarantine so I'll have to wait until it's over. I started suspecting she might have a problem with smelling things? I don't know if it is possible but I've tried putting the pee back in the box, I've tried cat attract, I've tried bleach and nothing works. she doesn't care about the smells at all which is why I started wondering if she could actually smell things.

A couple days ago I picked up her and put her in the box and she did not appreciate that at all so now she's kind of mad at me and yesterday she wouldn't let me touch her at all so that definitely was a fail. I'm gonna leave her alone for now I think and maybe try again next week or something.

She also still meows/cries a lot, during the day and night so I don't know if she's trying to call other cats or tell me something but that can be kind of heartbreaking to be honest.

I found a cat shelter near my town, and when the quarantine ends if there still hasn't been any changes, I think I'll try to call and see if the cat expert lady can come visit her. Maybe she'll see something I don't.

 

[Talien]

Yeah.....it sounds like she doesn't really know how to be a Cat. It might help her to have another Cat around, the younger the better. If you're able to have a second Cat in your apartment see if that shelter near you has any younger Cats that need a foster, it might help if she can see another Cat using the litterbox and playing.

 

[Krienze]

Hey everyone! I wanted to give you a bit of an update.

Shadow and I are self isolating and this has actually done some good for us. She lets me pet her now pretty easily and I could even put her on my knees a couple times (she didn't stay long at all but still !). She also does a couple of funny things: she has figured out how to open the doors by jumping on the handle so that was smart of her and she knows that when I go to the kitchen, I usually give her food so now she waits outside the door and if there is no food she will meow.

However, she still doesn't go to her litter box. I have literally tried everything and I don't know what to do. I can't go to the vet right now because my vet only takes emergencies during the quarantine so I'll have to wait until it's over. I started suspecting she might have a problem with smelling things? I don't know if it is possible but I've tried putting the pee back in the box, I've tried cat attract, I've tried bleach and nothing works. she doesn't care about the smells at all which is why I started wondering if she could actually smell things.

A couple days ago I picked up her and put her in the box and she did not appreciate that at all so now she's kind of mad at me and yesterday she wouldn't let me touch her at all so that definitely was a fail. I'm gonna leave her alone for now I think and maybe try again next week or something.

She also still meows/cries a lot, during the day and night so I don't know if she's trying to call other cats or tell me something but that can be kind of heartbreaking to be honest.

I found a cat shelter near my town, and when the quarantine ends if there still hasn't been any changes, I think I'll try to call and see if the cat expert lady can come visit her. Maybe she'll see something I don't.

Dumb question here and I apologize if it's been asked and I missed it -- is your kitty declawed by any chance?

I saw you said she used the weewee pads, but doesn't like the litter. So I figured I'd ask!

 

[geekai]

Talien : Yeah I'll definitely try and do that !

Dumb question here and I apologize if it's been asked and I missed it -- is your kitty declawed by any chance?

I saw you said she used the weewee pads, but doesn't like the litter. So I figured I'd ask!

I don't think she is. She doesn't really scratch anything (apart from Kraft boxes) but when I put her on my knees I could feel some claws so.