I think I am a bad cat owner

[AntonioFlower]

I got my cat, Izzy, about two years ago and she has been such a great addition to my family. However, I do not feel as though I am fit enough to be a cat owner. She has gotten sick several times, one being eating a long piece of string and needing surgery, having a parasite from a tick, and now she has been throwing up more often (we already have a vet appointment set up for this Saturday). She has had such a hard life, she lived in a shelter for eighth months until we adopted her. She is extremely loving with us but I just fear for her health as we have already messed up so many times within such a short amount of time. She is our first pet and I realize that we all make mistakes but this is an innocent life we are talking about. I love her to death and I just want the best for her. And at this point I think it means to give her away to a loving family that will be able to treat her better. I am going off to college in a couple of months and I know my parents will not be able to take care of her the way I did. My mother is very messy and always accidentally leaves trash around, trash that Izzy can eat and get sick. I tell her all the time to please try to improve this because it can one day hurt her but she does not understand. My father also overfeeds her and now she is becoming overweight. I love my parents but they are not the people I want to leave her with. My brother is twenty-four and still lives at home with us. The idea of adopting Izzy was his idea but I ended up doing all the work. He rarely cares for her and I need to ask him several times to do something for her. He also wants the best for her but he does not really do much except buy her food and cover vet expenses. The four of us adore Izzy but like I said, I do not think her living with us will be safe for her. And I am saddened by this because I know she loves us too. We are her first family and I cannot even imagine how she would feel if we would leave her with people she has never met. I apologize if I made any grammatical errors or if I misspelled anything. I do not know what I seek from posting this online, maybe it is just a way to rant. But if you have anything to add like advice, please do so as I am still conflicted whether I should give her up or not. Thank you.

 

[kittyluv387]

You are not a bad cat owner. You are always thinking of Izzy's needs and making sure she gets proper care. Even considering to give her away makes you a great owner because you are doing it out of love. I do agree with you on your assessment of the situation. Some people are "never ever give up your cats" camp but not me. If you surrender her to a no-kill shelter or ensure that she goes to an experienced home (due to her health issues) I think that would be the better thing to do since you will be going away soon and the others love her but don't necessarily have her best interests in mind.

 

[dragonlady2]

Absolutely agree with kittyluv387. You will feel guilty for rehoming her, but it's in everyone's best interest. Do you have another family member that could take it? What about a neighbor. I so respect your desire to do what's best in your cats best interest. Crossing fingers for the best.
And never a bad cat owner. Always looking out for the best interest of the cat is never bad.

 

[stephanietx]

You are not a bad kitty owner. Things happen all the time. It's like having kids. They break arms, need surgery, get sick. and etc. The same with a kitty. You have sought medical care when she's needed it and she's recovered. The throwing up could be simply that a food you're feeding her doesn't agree with her. One of my cats who is never sick started throwing up randomly last week. Come to find out, my husband had been giving her some of the juice from his plain sardines and she can't tolerate that. Stopped giving it to her and she's been fine.

 

[Tik cat's mum]

You are thinking of your cat and that's what good owners do. It's going to be hard for you to rehome your cat I can tell from your post. Maybe you can find someone you know to take your cat that way you'll still know how she's doing. Or if not ask the new owner to what's app pictures every now and then. Good luck.

 

[AntonioFlower]

You are not a bad cat owner. You are always thinking of Izzy's needs and making sure she gets proper care. Even considering to give her away makes you a great owner because you are doing it out of love. I do agree with you on your assessment of the situation. Some people are "never ever give up your cats" camp but not me. If you surrender her to a no-kill shelter or ensure that she goes to an experienced home (due to her health issues) I think that would be the better thing to do since you will be going away soon and the others love her but don't necessarily have her best interests in mind.

Do you think if I were to able to convince my parents and my brother to change their ways then we would be able to keep her? I plan on having a serious discussion with them and telling them how I really feel. I would rather give her to another family rather than a no-kill shelter because she lived their from four weeks to nine months old. I don't want her to go through that experience again and would much rather have her go to a loving family that would know how to take care of her immediately.

 

[AntonioFlower]

Absolutely agree with kittyluv387. You will feel guilty for rehoming her, but it's in everyone's best interest. Do you have another family member that could take it? What about a neighbor. I so respect your desire to do what's best in your cats best interest. Crossing fingers for the best.
And never a bad cat owner. Always looking out for the best interest of the cat is never bad.

Sadly, we have no family that are able to take care of Izzy. I would like to be able to have Izzy after I am done with college because I do not want her out of my life forever, which I know will make finding a new home for her more difficult.

 

[kittyluv387]

Do you think if I were to able to convince my parents and my brother to change their ways then we would be able to keep her? I plan on having a serious discussion with them and telling them how I really feel. I would rather give her to another family rather than a no-kill shelter because she lived their from four weeks to nine months old. I don't want her to go through that experience again and would much rather have her go to a loving family that would know how to take care of her immediately.

Yes of course! But it is hard to influence others to change. Why don't you have a talk with everyone and tell them that at this point you're seriously concerned about the cat's well being and are considering rehoming her? Ask them if they are willing to be a little more responsible in order to continue having her. If it's something that they have a strong interest in, maybe you can help them come up with a plan? A list of chores and reminders for everyone? Also, will you be visiting home at all?

 

[AntonioFlower]

You are not a bad kitty owner. Things happen all the time. It's like having kids. They break arms, need surgery, get sick. and etc. The same with a kitty. You have sought medical care when she's needed it and she's recovered. The throwing up could be simply that a food you're feeding her doesn't agree with her. One of my cats who is never sick started throwing up randomly last week. Come to find out, my husband had been giving her some of the juice from his plain sardines and she can't tolerate that. Stopped giving it to her and she's been fine.

I know it is not possible to avoid injuries and sickness but she has been sent to the vet a number of times which makes me feel like I am not being a good pet owner. Izzy is our first pet and I knew it would come with difficulties and the number of times we have had to go to the vet for her has gone down. I was in a really blue mood earlier and now that I am feeling better, I feel like I would be able to talk to my family to be better for Izzy. We don't want to lose her and I hope I am able to find a way to still keep her in my life but maybe not at this point because I will be going to college soon.

 

[rubysmama]

I am going off to college in a couple of months

Is taking her with you to college an option? Some members have had cats in dorm rooms before.

 

[AntonioFlower]

Yes of course! But it is hard to influence others to change. Why don't you have a talk with everyone and tell them that at this point you're seriously concerned about the cat's well being and are considering rehoming her? Ask them if they are willing to be a little more responsible in order to continue having her. If it's something that they have a strong interest in, maybe you can help them come up with a plan? A list of chores and reminders for everyone? Also, will you be visiting home at all?

Yeah, I hope to work with them with the few months that I am still home to fix their ways for Izzy. A chore list is a really good idea, thanks! The college I will go to is only an hour away so I will be able to get to visit home every now and then.

 

[AntonioFlower]

Is taking her with you to college an option? Some members have had cats in dorm rooms before.

The college I am going to does not accept animals to live in the dorm except if they are support animals. Izzy is also a very shy and nervous cat especially around loud noises and new people. I don't think I'll have time to take care of her at college, sadly.

 

[kittyluv387]

Yeah, I hope to work with them with the few months that I am still home to fix their ways for Izzy. A chore list is a really good idea, thanks! The college I will go to is only an hour away so I will be able to get to visit home every now and then.

Oh I think that's fantastic. You'll be able to check up on things. But be honest with yourself when you gauge their reaction to the idea of them being more involved. If they have a strong and enthusiastic interest that's a good sign..but not as good if they don't seem genuinely interested in doing this.

If you do end up giving them a chores and reminders list have them start before you leave. At least for 3 weeks on their own they should be practicing their care of your cat on their own. You can guide them during the 3 weeks but don't do their duties for them.

 

[AntonioFlower]

Oh I think that's fantastic. You'll be able to check up on things. But be honest with yourself when you gauge their reaction to the idea of them being more involved. If they have a strong and enthusiastic interest that's a good sign..but not as good if they don't seem genuinely interested in doing this.

If you do end up giving them a chores and reminders list have them start before you leave. At least for 3 weeks on their own they should be practicing their care of your cat on their own. You can guide them during the 3 weeks but don't do their duties for them.

Yeah, convincing my parents and brother to be more engaged is easier said than done. I know it will be difficult but I do want to keep Izzy. And if my family will not change, then I have full intention of giving her up to another family.

 

[Furballsmom]

Hi! Thank you for being such a caring individual!

Do you think if I were to able to convince my parents and my brother to change their ways then we would be able to keep her?

My perspective? They will not change. They haven't to this point with you there constantly reminding them.

The best you'll get is that they'll say yes, and maybe even put forth an effort for a little while, but there's absolutely nothing in your posts above that indicates to me that this cat will be in a safe, stable, dependable environment once you're gone.

This may be of help, it's viable for adult cats too.
“kittens To Good Homes” – How To Find A Good Forever Home For Your Kittens – Cat Articles

I'm sorry, I know this is hard but you're being so strong on behalf of your kitty! What you could do is perhaps volunteer at a shelter when you have a little time while you're in college. Then when you're out, after you've gotten settled with whatever your life might be at that point see about bringing a cat into your world.

You've learned a lot from this sweetie, and volunteering would help you to learn even more about cats .

 

[AntonioFlower]

Hi! Thank you for being such a caring individual!


My perspective? They will not change. They haven't to this point with you there constantly reminding them.

The best you'll get is that they'll say yes, and maybe even put forth an effort for a little while, but there's absolutely nothing in your posts above that indicates to me that this cat will be in a safe, stable, dependable environment once you're gone.

This may be of help, it's viable for adult cats too.
“kittens To Good Homes” – How To Find A Good Forever Home For Your Kittens – Cat Articles

I'm sorry, I know this is hard but you're being so strong on behalf of your kitty! What you could do is perhaps volunteer at a shelter when you have a little time while you're in college. Then when you're out, after you've gotten settled with whatever your life might be at that point see about bringing a cat into your world.

You've learned a lot from this sweetie, and volunteering would help you to learn even more about cats .

Thank you for your input. I have much to think about and I will definitely take your comment into consideration as well as all the others. For now, I will try to enjoy all the time I have left with Izzy before I leave for college. I'll also look into possible temporary new owners for her. Like I have mentioned before, I do want to have Izzy but since I have college to worry about, the timing is not right. I love her so much and I cannot imagine living my life without knowing where she is and what she is doing. I know it'll make searching for an owner more difficult, but Izzy is my child and I have full intention of taking care of her for the rest of her life.

 

[Furballsmom]

I'm sending you all my love that you are able to find a way .
Let us know how things go for you and your baby !

 

[AntonioFlower]

I'm sending you all my love that you are able to find a way .
Let us know how things go for you and your baby !

Stuck at home because of the virus, thought it would be good to give you a little update!
My parents and my brother have become more hands on with Izzy. My dad playing with her more often and my mom being considerate with the amount of noise she makes. My brother has been doing a lot of the chores for Izzy. Cleaning her litter box, cleaning her bowls, etc. Because of the pandemic, I thought it would be best to take a gap year between now and college because I have several high risk family members and I don't want to come back home for holiday breaks and risk their health. This also gives me another year to figure out a solid plan on what else we can do to make sure Izzy is happy and safe! I'm gonna spend a lot of this year spending time with her because I still have full intention to go to college at some point. And I know that means leaving her for a little bit. But for now, I want to enjoy the time I get to spend with her.

 

[Furballsmom]

Oh my goodness, thank you for a great update!!

 

[rubysmama]

Oh, that is a great update!!! Good to hear of little paws-itive things that are coming out of this whole pandemic thing.