I really don't like my cat's personality

Doody

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We took in a foster last year right before shut-down -- a single female kitten about 8 weeks old. She was sweet then and would hop up on your chest and fall asleep. My spouse then declared we were keeping her. We lost our 13 year old cat a couple of years ago; I was happy with just fostering kittens, but he insisted we adopt her. Well, as she grew last year, she went through a biting stage -- she'd bite you whenever you picked her up, petted her etc....she stopped sitting on our laps as well. She is now about 20 months old -- and she is still just a spaz! She spends all day looking out the window at the chipmunks (husband feeds them); I think this is a bad idea and just makes her more "charged up". If you approach her to touch her, she almost always just runs away. She almost never approaches you for attention and doesn't appear to enjoy being petted. You can't even brush her (which my old cat loved), because she will just attack the brush. On the rear chance you can grab her and hold her, she will tolerate it for a short time and wiggle down. Also, she still bites! Especially my daughter (19) who "just wants to love her". The only time you can show her affection and have her appreciate it, is when she is sleepy, or almost asleep. As I am typing this, she is staring out an open window into the dark. Oddly, she is not a shy cat and doesn't even hide from company. She is just very high strung. In hindsight, I think she would have done better with another kitten around. I feel like that boat has sailed though -- her prey drive is so high, I think another cat would send her into a tail spin (no pun intended). I have been wondering about some sort of "calming treats" that may allow us to actually enjoy her, and her us. Probably a dumb idea. Most of this is just venting -- I tell my daughter that she will probably calm down and seek attention when she is ten or twelve (a LONG time to go). Just please tell me that maybe, just maybe she will change into a "nicer" cat when she gets older.
 

Cat McCannon

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Play with her more. Play with her until she's panting and too tired to go on.

 

LeiLatte

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I have 4 cats and don’t always love their unique personalities either. One is very affectionate with humans, but he attacks the other kitties when he gets in that hunter mood. And the female he chases until she screams and I’ve seen him pulling out her fur, so I have to keep them separated.

The female doesn’t like to be handled and it’s impossible to cut her nails or anything like that. She doesn’t want to be held or picked up either.

Cats all really have their own personalities. You could try getting another kitty but they don’t always get along, hence why I ended up with 4 trying to find better companions for the one I had...
 

Cat McCannon

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Not all cats liked to be petted. But play will increase the bond you share with your feline and as time goes on, she may become more tolerant of being petted.

Same with brushing. Belle didn't like being petted other than on the top of her head and she didn't like being brushed. Now, there are times she demands the pets. She leads me into Tiger Country (dining room) flops on her side on the carpet and stretches. "Pet me!"

She's starting to like being brushed. In the morning, I brush Belle for a bit, play with her then feed her breakfast. She's gone from "GET THAT VILE THING AWAY FROM ME!" to "A few strokes of the brush feels good!" I'm learning to pet & brush for shorter periods, stopping before Belle is over stimulated and find she wants pets more often.

Be patient with your kitty and over time, the two of you will work it out.
 

Kflowers

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The instant she bites, the instant, hiss at her. This tells her in her own language that biting isn't acceptable. The more consistent you all can be the more likely it will work. Cats, as humans, go through phases. In time, she may become affectionate again, if you remain open to it. Cats read human emotions and she knows whether or not people like her and responds to that.

Cats reflect the emotions sent to them.

She may never like to be brushed. Out of 26 cats, only one of ours liked it.

I realize you weren't ready to adopt, but she will become more of what you want her to be when you stop blaming her for not being the cat you lost.
 
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