I Really Can't Move On

New_Pulse

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Not sure if this is in the right section, but here goes.

I made a post last September about my cat's passing, and despite it being over a year later, I still can't seem to move on and get over her passing. To add more to the problem, I've been unbearably longing to get a kitten, but can't due to certain circumstances. My cat greatly helped with my depression, but without my cat (or a cat) I feel more lonely, and feel as if I don't have much of a purpose anymore to carry on while enduring my illness. I miss her, every day. And sometimes I would even have dreams about cats or getting another cat. I don't think I'll be able to get a kitten any time soon. I can understand why I'm not able to, but because of my illness, the selfish part of me wishes I wouldn't have to sacrifice my needs for someone else's. It really hurts on some days so much, and I wish my family could understand that.
 

Furballsmom

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I'm so very sorry! Your illness means you aren't able to volunteer at a rescue/shelter either, I assume?
Maybe this could help;

Grieving
 
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New_Pulse

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I tried volunteering several years back, but it didn't really work out for me. Maybe one day, I'll try it again.

The post is pretty insightful. I think my problem is that I try to keep my grief at bay by pretending as if I'm over it, but when grief comes, its hit is almost drastic; and I am not sure if my lonesomeness and/or my need to get another cat is/are what beget(s) my continuous grief, or if it's my grief that's begetting my lonesomeness and whatnot.
 

Furballsmom

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Would a different type of pet such as a cockatiel, be possible? A ferret?

I found that Siamese fighting fish have a lot more personality than a goldfish plus they are fantastically beautiful.
 
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New_Pulse

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I think owning a ferret is illegal in my state :flail: But I'm not sure. It is something to think about, however
 

Furballsmom

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I'm keeping my fingers crossed that something speaks to you and works out :)
:vibes::crossfingers:
 

kittyluv387

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Pet rats make good pets too. Especially the males in my opinion. But they do only live 2-3 years.
 

Kflowers

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Ferrets are very very fragile. If you consider one please read as much as you can find about them. The ones you get as pets aren't nearly as hardy as the wild ones.
 

Willowy

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The ones you get as pets aren't nearly as hardy as the wild ones.
There's no such thing as a wild ferret :D (well, not the same species as pet ferrets anyway. There are black-footed ferrets but they're a whole different species). But I agree; ferrets are not easy pets or good pets for someone with limited mobility. They often go under stuff and you have to get them out somehow. They are naughty and hyper and tend to be unhealthy and need a lot of attention in general. They are illegal to keep in California and New York City.

Parrots (including cockatiels) are also very high-maintenance. Perhaps a cageful of budgies or finches? If they have each other they won't become very tame and won't need a lot of attention, and are very entertaining to watch.
 

Kflowers

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My mistake, I was thinking of the larger ferrets that poachers use in England to catch rabbits. Maybe they aren't really ferrets at all, or maybe they are the same size just with thicker fur for a colder climate? However, since the poachers own them, I guess they aren't wild, either. :)

one of the best things about this site is all that I learn from reading it. The second is getting corrected before I lead others astray. It makes me feel much safer when I post. I only say what I honestly believe to be true, which doesn't really mean it is. :biggrin:
 

Willowy

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My mistake, I was thinking of the larger ferrets that poachers use in England to catch rabbits. . .However, since the poachers own them, I guess they aren't wild, either. :)
Oh, I see! Yeah, not wild. But certainly more robust than pet store ferrets, just like farm cats are more robust. I'd like to see one of those big fellas; I've only seen them in pictures :D.

I enjoy having a hamster, though they tend to be a bit nippy. If rats aren't your thing and you want a small pet, that could fill the bill.
 

les26

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I think you need to get another cat, unless there is a reason why you can't, money wise or the depression or what? I think if you would get another one you would get immersed in taking care of it plus you would have a friend to share your time with. This is only my opinion, but it sounds to me like that is the answer for you, but only you know what and when to do what and I hope for the best for you.

I don't know if you are on any meds but Holy Basil is a natural herb that helps with stress and depression and also the homeopathic remedy Ignatia Amara is for grief and loss, you put the pills under your tongue and don't eat or drink for 1/2 hour before or after you take them, and it does help with grief and loss, even from the past. Look it up or talk to a local health food place that sells these things and ask about them, and again only you know what is best for you!

Best of luck, God Bless....:alright: :grouphug: :rbheart:
 

Rhall

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I felt the same way after my Jasper died last November. I was heartbroken. I knew the time would come to get another cat. I adopted these two almost 2 weeks ago. They have totally lifted my spirits. Hugs to you.
 

di and bob

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There is no time limit set for how long to grieve, I still get hit with a tsunami of grief and it has been 6 years. It is tied to the ocean, placid and calm, giving a sense of peace and floating along in life, and then WHAM, the huge waves can engulf and drown you in a torrent of tears. You never get over grief, it is not possible if you love someone. You learn to live with it, you make a new life's order for yourself.
If you want something bad enough there are no 'circumstances', you MAKE it happen, it is as simple as that. If you are a minor and can't leave, make plans for when you can, it definitely helps to have a plan and get ready for your future. And keeps your mind occupied. Save whatever money you can, sacrifice now for a better future. Don't be dependent on others, you have to make it on your own and I know you can. Maybe not now but later. I left my family with a quarter to my name, no food after paying rent, and a week to payday. you do what you have to do. I lived on the doughnuts that were brought in to work. I repaid then by working harder than I had to. By doing extras.
Having another cat to love would definitely help your present circumstances. Your dearly departed would never want you to be so sad, just as you would want for them if you were the first to go, so they want for you. And that means finding joy in life as you are meant to do, as we need to do. She left you a legacy of love, she wants for you to pass it on, to help it bloom in the warmth of your happiness, not hide it under the cover of darkness and grief. If that is not possible right now, look forward to the day it can be made possible and prepare for it until then. Find joy in other things right now, even an aquarium would fill you with responsibility and fill your life with purpose. To watch fish interact and live is pleasurable. It will allow you to send your precious girl vibes of joy once more, she is as near as your thoughts and prayers, and lives on through you now, through the love that ties you together, through your souls that are bound tight for eternity......please keep in touch and tell us how you are doing, we do care and understand, we have stood in your shoes and can help with how we ourselves coped. I'll keep you in my prayers.
 
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