I Need Help

[MrWindley]

I have a street born cat whom I raised since he was about a month old tops. I have had him for about 1 year now. The cat does not like to be petted or comes when you call him. I have lost my temper with him so many times. I have hit the cat hard and I also throw him out in the back yard where his family is cause I just want to give up on the cat. He is always biting and scratching when you try to pet him. He drinks the fish water and is always climbing on the pictures. He does not like to sleep in any of the 5 beds I brought him. He always wants to sleep on my bed and he is shedding to much. He sleeps under the bed but I don’t like that so I blocked of underneath the bed. Now he just sleeps in the bathroom floor or on the window seal where I made a little cat bed for him using a throw blanket. He just killed one of my sick fish and that was my breaking point. I hit him and threw him in the yard and I really don’t want to take him back. He is not an affectionate cat at all and that bothers me a lot. I just want to adopt a new cat and be done with him.

 

[ArtNJ]

Man you hit your cat "hard" - your words - for acting like a young cat and come here to tell us you want a new cat? Dude this forum is for people that like cats. If you want to be better and not hit your cat, we can help with behavior modification tips. If you don't want to change then give the cat away, don't get another cat, and don't come back here.

Hey hey maybe your exaggerating and your just swatting a little even though you said "hard". That will still trigger some folks here, but personally, I don't think its so terrible. But it doesn't work well. If it worked well, your cat would stop doing the stuff that led you to hit him -- you've already seen it doesn't work and can make a cat not like you. If you really need negative reinforcement, and sometimes you do for certain kinds of behaviors, then a loud "No!" or if truly necessary a squirt gun are safer and work better. Even the squirt gun is a little controversial here with some being against it, but all would admit its better than hitting a cat.

You titled "I need help" so I don't want to be an ass here. We can and will help with behavior modification. But you have to be willing to commit to working on it without hitting your cat "hard". Otherwise the help I'd want to give is calling the ASPCA.

 

[Adway]

Let me sympathize with you first, before I say anything. Your pain is real & it has been experienced by others too. I have a separate thread running & people from this community have been very good at helping me.

My cat - Luke - also killed my plant & I hit him hard enough for him to get him scared. So, I know what you are going through. I have regretted that action ever since, however, Luke is reconciling with me lately.

I have lost my temper with him so many times.

Answer me, who is more intelligent to control natural instinct? Him or you?

He is always biting and scratching when you try to pet him.

Then lets not pet him. Cats have personalities. Yours - just like my Luke - has one that does not enjoy petting. Whats the point in petting him?

He just killed one of my sick fish and that was my breaking point. I hit him and threw him in the yard and I really don’t want to take him back.

Its deplorable of him, but he only thinks of Fish as a food. He doesn't understand better. & all cats love Fish as a food above everything else. Its not his fault.

He is not an affectionate cat at all and that bothers me a lot.

Well, he is not. Thats his personality. Whats yours? Let it not bother you.

I just want to adopt a new cat and be done with him.

Can you do it without abandoning him? I feel that introductions will be very tough for you, but get another cat whom you will be able to pet, but don't let go this guy. After year of hand-feeding, he will find it hard out there.

Its easy for me to talk to you from outside of the situation, so sorry if you don't like any part of the answer, but its a very sincere response to your post.

 

[MrWindley]

Thank you very much and I understand where your going with this by all means but I do want a different cat and would probably give him away to someone I know if I did get another cat.

 

[ArtNJ]

Then what do you want help with?

Maybe get a chill adult cat if you aren't confident your able to be patient with a kitten. You can certainly get a kitten likely to be more affectionate, but all kittens are PITAs that require training to some degree.

 

[susanm9006]

Cats who are hit are going to be fearful and not want the person who hit them coming near. And it is normal for a cat to be interested or try to get fish, so I don’t see anything abnormal with your cat. It is likely any other cat you get will react the same. So if you cannot control your temper and stop hitting or throwing your pets then you would be better off without this cat or any other animal for that matter. Please find another home for your cat or a no kill shelter that will take it.

 

[PushPurrCatPaws]

I'm sorry but hitting a cat hard and throwing him is animal abuse.

I have a lot of concern for that cat, and for any cat being around you when you lose your temper.
I also recommend finding a good, loving home for the cat. I think both you and the cat will hopefully find happiness that way.

 

[maggiedemi]

I recommend anger management classes and not getting another cat. Please never hit him again. I have two former feral cats, wild from the woods. I have never hit them. I trained them with words. They must know 20 or 30 words. Cats are very smart, you just have to take the time to teach them.

 

[danteshuman]

I have noticed that the best cat behavior modification is environment prevention.

Do you have cave dwelling cat that lives under your bed?!? Then buy or make him a cave! Look for a deep tunnel or drape a sheet over a coffee table to create a hidden cave (give him a folded up blanket or square flat bed if you want under the coffee table.) Or take a decent size cardboard box, put it on it's side (with the flaps removed or tucked in) then drape a towel over 2/3 of the entrance. Viola! Perfect cat cave.

Want your cat off the counters? Buy him a cat tree where he can observe you cooking, then patiently & calmly train him to use the cat tree not the counters when you are cooking.

Don't want him spraying in your house? Neuter him! Enzyme cleaners & lots of litter boxes.

If you don't want him scratching things, buy lots of cat scratchers of different kinds to find the kind of texture he prefers. Put them all around the house. Use sticky tape in places where he scratched the furniture.

Want to pet your cat? Step 1 never ever ever hit your poor cat again! You are at least 10 times his size!!! To displine a cat you have to catch them in the act (which is unlikely) and it is unlikely to be effective.

So instead watch his body cues to how/when he likes/wants to be pet. Also how much petting a cat can tolerate before it becoming uncomfortable or over stimulating them differs from cat to cat. It is their biology that makes them over stimulated so you can't blame him for being a cat! I would suggest using one or two fingers to scratch his chin or behind his ears. Let him lead you. Watch his tail. If our semi-feral twitches the tip of his tail he has enough petting and will nip you if you do not stop.

Lastly he doesn't want to see his family outside. Keep him inside. Other cats will see him as an invader of their territory and attack him! Cats do not live long outside. So please do him a favor and keep him inside.

 

[1 bruce 1]

Hit a dog, they'll lick your hand and forgive.
Hit a cat, even once, you have probably forfeited any relationship with them unless you're willing to step up to the plate and do some serious work.

Which, not to be a jackass, it doesn't sound like you're really wanting to do.
Just remember, cats aren't dogs, don't act like other animals and are "domesticated" but not really domestic in the way other domesticated animals are.
You're at least here and asking for help, so I do give you props for that.
You don't have to respond to this but ask yourself...
...would you ever be affectionate (friendly, civil) to a room mate that routinely hit you (roughed you up) for really stupid things, or threw you outside (stole your keys and locked you out)? If they made it clear they weren't really a fan of you but tolerated you anyway, would you crack open a beer and watch the game with them or try to find some way to GTFO and go somewhere else, while thinking their unpredictability makes them a nut job?

If you feel you can't tolerate him, take him to a rescue.
If you can, but not long term, contact every shelter and rescue and tell them you have a cat that you're not bonded with and ask that they do a posting about him under their name, but you keep him until a home is found.

I'm not being judgmental. Sometimes we get a pet or meet someone (human) that we just (for some reason) don't really "click" with. But hitting and slapping him around and tossing him outside isn't a great way to handle it.
He's a cat. Cats are smart, but they don't think like we do. Be smarter than him. And laugh some of this random shit off. Shedding and climbing stuff you don't want them to climb can be irritating but at the end of the day, there's WAY worse things that we deal with. Take an animal acting like an animal, laugh it off...they're supposed to lower our stress, not increase it, and the other way around. They do stupid things. Laugh it off.

 

[1 bruce 1]

Also...
he didn't "kill" your fish in cold blood. Cats do NOT think like this. They're opportunistic, they're hunters, they'll kill a small thing like a bird or fish (especially one that acts off, aka is sick). I hate to say it, but not keeping the sick fish away from him is on you. =/
My cats have access to a small outdoors covered area but still somehow managed to kill a fledgling bird, bring it inside, de-feather it. Yeah, I was pissed! I love baby birds, but they didn't do it like some gang war...they came, they saw, they took the opportunity. "Damn, nature, you scary" and all that.
So the solution was not to hit them whenever it happened but DENY access to that area until the baby birds have grown. I can prevent some stuff, I can't prevent nature from doing what nature does.
You've had him since he was a month old or so. He's only a year. How often did you handle him or hold him or whatever, and did you like "playing rough" with him (encouraging him to grab your hands, kicking and biting, etc.)
Also what on earth is wrong with him sleeping under the bed? He finally "got it" to stay off the bed, this seems like a decent solution?

 

[MrWindley]

Thank you guys for all your advise. If he comes back inside then maybe we can start things over. I will eloborate more when I have time

 

[MRG2018]

I have a street born cat whom I raised since he was about a month old tops. I have had him for about 1 year now. The cat does not like to be petted or comes when you call him. I have lost my temper with him so many times. I have hit the cat hard and I also throw him out in the back yard where his family is cause I just want to give up on the cat. He is always biting and scratching when you try to pet him. He drinks the fish water and is always climbing on the pictures. He does not like to sleep in any of the 5 beds I brought him. He always wants to sleep on my bed and he is shedding to much. He sleeps under the bed but I don’t like that so I blocked of underneath the bed. Now he just sleeps in the bathroom floor or on the window seal where I made a little cat bed for him using a throw blanket. He just killed one of my sick fish and that was my breaking point. I hit him and threw him in the yard and I really don’t want to take him back. He is not an affectionate cat at all and that bothers me a lot. I just want to adopt a new cat and be done with him.

You need anger management therapy, and you need to learn more about the behavior of cats. Hitting them will make them bite you back.

Until you have learned not to be physically abusive to a pet- you should not adopt a cat. There is no guarantee the next cat you adopt will be affectionate or not.
But if you keep hitting a cat- even the most affectionate cat will turn on you. For the sake of cats, do not adopt until you have had your therapy.

 

[MrWindley]

I feel you but I don’t need anger management. I choose to hit the cat.

 

[AbbysMom]

I choose to hit the cat.

Welcome to the site. You aren't going to find any fans here if you choose and continue to choose to hit the cat. This is an cat welfare site.

If you do want to work things out with this cat, our members are sure to have a ton of ideas for you, but hitting is not one of them. If you don't want to work things out or do choose to continue to hit the cat, please find another home for this cat.

 

[MRG2018]

I feel you but I don’t need anger management. I choose to hit the cat.

Choosing to hit a vulnerable animal is even worse- because you doing it knowingly. It is not a reactive action.

This is why anger management is even more important for you. Everyone feels they 'do not' need therapy.
If you are hitting cats and are annoyed at the cat because he isn't grateful enough to you to satisfy your demands, you need therapy.

I had this reaction 7 years ago. I didnt hit the cat, I simply shook him because he bit me and I felt he should be grateful for all the care I was giving him. He was sick. And it was a reactive action.

At that moment, I was sad, felt extreme guilt and knew that I did not deserve to take care of any animal if I was so quick to react negatively. I got my therapy, not anger management, but something else.
I chose to foster after 7 years because I was still ashamed of what I had done- and be more aware of my subconscious actions. Especially towards an animal that doesn't understand what punishment or consequences are.

Only after I fostered for 2 months- that I realized that now I can take care of a cat despite adverse conditions without being mean or abusive to him.
You are not envisioning him as a cat, you are seeing him as a toy.

Patience and non abusive behavior is absolutely needed before you decide to adopt any animal. There are no perfect cats or dogs out there. Somethings have to be taught, and some things have to be tolerated without being angry like litter box issues, not eating food etc. You cannot be angry at a cat who is 'less than perfect' or whatever your preference is.

You neither have the patience nor do you understand behavioral issues with cats. I am glad you came here to seek help- but its useless if you dont listen to any of us.

 

[mekkababble]

I have a street born cat whom I raised since he was about a month old tops. I have had him for about 1 year now. The cat does not like to be petted or comes when you call him. I have lost my temper with him so many times. I have hit the cat hard and I also throw him out in the back yard where his family is cause I just want to give up on the cat. He is always biting and scratching when you try to pet him. He drinks the fish water and is always climbing on the pictures. He does not like to sleep in any of the 5 beds I brought him. He always wants to sleep on my bed and he is shedding to much. He sleeps under the bed but I don’t like that so I blocked of underneath the bed. Now he just sleeps in the bathroom floor or on the window seal where I made a little cat bed for him using a throw blanket. He just killed one of my sick fish and that was my breaking point. I hit him and threw him in the yard and I really don’t want to take him back. He is not an affectionate cat at all and that bothers me a lot. I just want to adopt a new cat and be done with him.

There is a lot to unpack here so let me try.

1. If you have struck your pet he will not enjoy being petted. Cats don't have the intelligence to associate pain with their action. They associate pain with you and your hands. If I hit you and then walk up to you with my hand raised, you'd either attack me or run away too.

If you want to invest some time in behavior modification, sit on the floor with the cat, give him some treats, talk to him nicely, play with some toys (preferably wand toys so he can't bite or scratch you), and give him a reason to want to be around you. You may be able to rebuild the trust you've lost.

2. Why on Earth is your fish tank uncovered? That's a good way for dirt, debris, and cats to get at your fish. If your fish are in a tank small enough for the cat to move, that tank is too small. If the cats takes off the lid to attack the fish, secure it. That one is 100% on you. I have two 6 month old cats, a beta, and aquarium. The one kitten loves nothing more than batting at the fish for hours. We're incident free because I've properly secured the fish.

3. The bed challenge is a cat being a cat. Don't want him on your bed? Shut the door to your bedroom at night. Again, that's on you. Why you don't like him under the bed is beyond me- cats like having space to hide. It helps them feel safe. Especially if you want this to be a friendly, cuddly cat I'd let him have it.

4. The climbing is kitten play. Do some interactive play with him, wear him out, and as he ages he'll calm down. This is par for the course for young cats.

5. Its very frightening to see so much vitriol towards an animals thats 10x smaller than you. As other members have said, this is normal cays behavior. If you can't tolerate a cat being a cat, don't have this one, don't have another one. No cat is going to be snugly and friendly if you physically attack it and don't provide for its needs.

 

[mekkababble]

Addendum: a Lot of people are going to be harsh because of the physical violence. But like your topic says- you need help. My assumption is you wouldn't be here if you didn't want to change your cats behavior.

I think your big takeaway is that you CHOSE to abuse this cat. You can also choose not to and it you want your cat to change, you need to change first.

 

[Daisy6]

Yes, you do need help . . . in a psychiatrist's office or mental health facility. Abuse is the only category hitting and throwing cats belongs in. If anyone witnessed this you already would be behind bars awaiting a court trial.

 

[Daisy6]

Sorry if I offended anyone. I am just too passionate about animal cruelty to think disciplining a cat that way is training with negative reinforcement.