I Made A Monster

kitkatgurl

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When I started out I had the vet bill (that saved her life) so that toys which are a necessity came from the Dollar store. Maisie loved (still does) the Pom Pom ones- a 4 pack for a buck!
I also bought the toy that is round and has a ball in it that the cat tries to get. It came with a spring and a bird in top- $3!!!
And I’m in Canada so it’s got to be cheaper down there.
That toy fared very well- she still plays with it from time to time but in her wild kitten days she would fling that toy upside down! Seriously! Like I said- my wild child.
Cardboard boxes- free and provide a ton of entertainment for you and kitten.
I got a cat tree off Kijijii for $40 yes super deal so keep an eye out for trees that people are selling that their cats don’t use or their cats passed on.
And right now- grab a bag of the plastic eggs from the dollar store- open up put a couple pieces of kibble inside for sound and put back together. The eggs provide tons of fun. I even use toilet paper rolls. You can fold the ends and put kibble in those too.
 

daftcat75

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For years, Krista's favorite toy was a shoelace tied to the back of a chair.
 

Sammiches

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Based on what I'm reading, your cat is within the age of reason for doing all of that. This is an important age of bonding which means if you punish her in any way that she'll remember, she could end up scared and in turn becomes hate.

During this stage, it's a test on "you" than Spooky because right now Spooky is being a normal kitten still in discovery of her own personality. You right now however is how Spooky will see you for the rest of her life. This is the time of patience, if you can't be patient however it may do you two better if you find her a new loving home. If you can be patient, you may be able to form a beautiful unique bond. It is important that you understand this because if you were pushed to your wit's end and end up harming Spooky in some way, there's a good chance that's how she'll view you for a long, long time if not forever. Since you're already yelling at Spooky, you're on the borderline of doing something beyond that.

Believe me, my cat in earlier months in age was driving me crazy. I almost brought her back to the shelter but decided to persevere and believed that one day we'll bond. Now? She knows to go to bed when she sees me going to bed. Just the other night she was sleeping on her back and using my arm as a head rest as I was sleeping on my bed.

Here's a picture of the first time we truly bonded(she came up to me and fell asleep), the joy of that moment will always be with me.
Luna asleep 2.jpg

All in all, you did not make a monster. You just met a perfectly healthy kitten that needs guidance and support to thrive in life.
 
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Spookyandsammy

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I have to put her in my sweat shirt so she doesnt exscape as i pet her she doesnt like being touched or loved what did i do wrong im frustrated i made her a wild cat and she hates me at night shes crazy affectionate and i play with her to wear her out i put cat food in a egg but they didnt play with it so i put it in the old paper towel roll with cat nip they loved it their crazy rn
 

kittyluv387

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She's still affectionate at night though right? So she doesn't hate you. She's just at an age where she mostly wants to play and get into things. Age and spaying her will help her. Try to get her spayed within her first year. Too many cycles of heat without mating can cause pyometra, infection of the uterus.
 

Sammiches

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I have to put her in my sweat shirt so she doesnt exscape as i pet her she doesnt like being touched or loved what did i do wrong im frustrated i made her a wild cat and she hates me at night shes crazy affectionate and i play with her to wear her out i put cat food in a egg but they didnt play with it so i put it in the old paper towel roll with cat nip they loved it their crazy rn
So what I'm getting from you right now is that your cat is basically restrained in a pet equivalent of a straight jacket and forced against her will to be petted by you when she clearly does not want to.

I'm not going to sugar coat it like some others have in this thread but you are not a proper cat parent. However that does not mean you cannot be a proper cat parent. Step one is to stop forcing your cat into pet sessions and step two is to not get offended when your cat isn't up for affection. Focus on doing these two steps first before you try anything else.

For example in my case if I want to snuggle with my cat while I'm in bed, I create a tunnel with the blanket and call my cat's name so that my cat sees the invitation and can join me if she wants to. Rather than say... Picking her up, forcing her into the blanket tunnel, and closing it to lock her in afterwards. Sounds familiar?

So to wrap this up, what are you doing wrong? You are forcing your cat into doing things she does not want to, pushing your pace into hers, and not respecting her boundaries. That's as blunt as I can get. If you want to find a submissive cat, go find a submissive cat. This kitten in her current age and possibly her future personality, may not be a submissive cat ever. So just stop and think about it... If someone tried to force your personality to change, would that stand right with you?
 
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daftcat75

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Think of this in terms of consent. I can force my will on my cat because I'm bigger. But that's not right. The cat won't feel good about that interaction. I won't feel good about that interaction when you consider it this way.

The only times I ever pick up (or restrain) my cat is for her health or safety only: vet visits, administering medicine, a weekly weigh-in, or removing her from the stove top. Other than that, she's on her own to walk through her environment free of being catnapped and held against her will.

When I do pick her up, I don't hold her like a baby. I also don't hold her like baby Simba in the Lion King (two hands under the pits.) I place the bottom hand under her bottom or her back feet so she feels solidly supported and also so that her weight isn't being supported by her pits. That leaves the top hand to support her under the rib cage or hold her against me if she wants to climb up into shoulder drape. Then I'm still supporting her back feet or bottom and using the top hand to keep her from climbing to the top of my shoulder and shooting out the back. When setting her down, I bend down, and bring her to the ground letting her touch solid ground with her back feet first if she'll wait for it. I try to make the dismount as gentle as lifting and holding her. I want her to know that she's only being lifted because there's a good reason for it, and that she's being respected when I set her down as well. This, I find, also reduces the amount of squirming she does while I'm holding her. I like to think that she understands I'm only doing it because I need to and I'll let her get on with her day just as soon as I'm done.

The more you honor the cat's autonomy and individual personality, the more rewarding those moments when the cat chooses you. You will know that if she climbs onto you or next to you, she wants to be there.
 

Sammiches

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^
To add to that. Once your cat is comfortable enough to be held(and trust me, this takes time), they may start letting you hold them in different ways granted you have support of her bottom. In my case I actually have a pretty big chest so she feels just fine leaning on it and resting over my shoulder.
2870448D-7BF9-4CDF-AA02-C562519CD37F2.jpg

As a bonus to my earlier post, here's a video of my cat joining me in the blanket tunnel/fort. This is on her own free will. She may not always join me but the times she does makes it all worth the while.
 
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Spookyandsammy

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I just let her be i gave up shes gonna do what she wants i play with her until shes really tired and then she comes in like a purring monster we made progress she finally let me scratch her tummy she would bite me if i touched it but she loves it so im gonna keep playing with her tire her out i keep her with me at night
 

inkysmom

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You're doing fine. I've had many cats for decades and had very strong bonds with all of them for their entire lives. None of them ever hated or feared me but we're all very close and loving with me and trusted me completely.
Sometimes I got irritated and yelled at them. Sometimes I would give one a light tap if it bit me or bullied or attacked another cat or the dog.
I almost always had to restrain all my cats to cut their nails, into carriers for the vet and medication and they were all fine. No trauma whatsoever.
Some people think everything is abuse and really overreact. There's no reason for you to find your kitten a new home.
So read the advice but do what feels right and gets the best results.
 

inkysmom

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I have a young cat now who was born feral so never lived inside with people. He was trapped with his brother and sister and they were adopted first and he got very lonely so I took him. I have him in a small room until my cat likes him and he's not afraid of my dog.
Every day I go and sit with him and spend time with him. He likes being petted but is nervous about sitting on my lap or being picked up.
He needs to be able to be picked up and handled so he can go to the vet for more shots and trust me and get his nails trimmed eventually.
So a few times a day I pick him up gently and put him on my lap for just a few seconds. If he gets tense or squirms I try moving him to find a way he's more comfortable. I praise him and pet his favorite spots. If he's still trying to leave I put him down gently and keep petting him.

Same with picking him up. He seems to like being on my shoulder better than just picked up the normal way. First couple of days he let me touch his belly but didn't react. Today I touched the belly with my dog in the small room (only second time he's been with the dog) and he literally just flopped over belly up and curled his tail around my hand for a belly rub. Only a foot or two away from a huge dog.
Next time I came in the room and patted him he flopped over immediately . Now when I leave he mews wanting me to come back.
I've had him three days. Pretty trusting even though I'm "forcing" him to learn to be picked up, brushed, combed, sit on laps and handled so he'll be safe at vets. It's called training and socializing.
There's no excuse for cats being horrible at the vet's. If you handle them and train them, just like dogs and horses or any other animals they should behave themselves just like any other animals. I trained my adult feral cat Inky to let me cut his nails, give him insulin shots twice daily and he got to be great for vets.
Training is learning. Sometimes there's brief times of discomfort. But you have a safe pet who's a pleasure at the vet and gets treated better and is less stressed by the whole experience.
 
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Spookyandsammy

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Because of her getting into things like the fish tank and stuff i have to keep her in my room i feel like a bad mom i mean i feed her twice once in the morning and before i leave to work i get home at like2:30 i play with her as hen i get home to wear her out and i try to in the morning too but she likes to be pet on her time not mine she squrms alot and uses her claws so i put her down she has tons of toys and stuff but when shes in the room i feel bad for sammy whos out around the house all alone
 
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Spookyandsammy

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Inkys mom she runs from me i get on her level and pet her she also hates being picked up but when shes in the mood to be petted i am not allowed to ignore her she screams pay attention to me human she wont stop so i pett her until she leaves she lets me scratch her tummy she gave me kisses on the cheek she loves to sleep on my back thats her favorite spot and my hip for some reason she loves the window hates when the blinds are closed
 
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Spookyandsammy

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shes 6 months old a teenager shes so defiant like i put stuff on a table she has to knock it off to play with it
 
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Spookyandsammy

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My back and my stomach is her favorite spot and usually my hip for some reason when i got home she was purring and happy so i hope she stays that way i just hate having to keep her in my room all day she has plenty of spots to sleep and tons of toys to
Based on what I'm reading, your cat is within the age of reason for doing all of that. This is an important age of bonding which means if you punish her in any way that she'll remember, she could end up scared and in turn becomes hate.

During this stage, it's a test on "you" than Spooky because right now Spooky is being a normal kitten still in discovery of her own personality. You right now however is how Spooky will see you for the rest of her life. This is the time of patience, if you can't be patient however it may do you two better if you find her a new loving home. If you can be patient, you may be able to form a beautiful unique bond. It is important that you understand this because if you were pushed to your wit's end and end up harming Spooky in some way, there's a good chance that's how she'll view you for a long, long time if not forever. Since you're already yelling at Spooky, you're on the borderline of doing something beyond that.

Believe me, my cat in earlier months in age was driving me crazy. I almost brought her back to the shelter but decided to persevere and believed that one day we'll bond. Now? She knows to go to bed when she sees me going to bed. Just the other night she was sleeping on her back and using my arm as a head rest as I was sleeping on my bed.

Here's a picture of the first time we truly bonded(she came up to me and fell asleep), the joy of that moment will always be with me.
View attachment 281851

All in all, you did not make a monster. You just met a perfectly healthy kitten that needs guidance and support to thrive in life.
play with
 

inkysmom

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It sounds like she loves you and is really bonded to you. When cats and kittens sleep on you that means they want to be close to you. The knocking stuff off things is normal cat and kitten behavior.
So is the moodiness and sometimes not wanting anything to do with you and something being very loving.
It's very common to keep a kitten in a room all day to keep them out of trouble. Also keeps them eating kitten food and separate diets.
I put out the whole days food in the morning and they take all day to eat it.
 
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Spookyandsammy

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Yes i do

*update when i called her she responded 3 times but she was purring at the time so im gonna start giving her treats when she comes when shes called maybe it will work
 
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Spookyandsammy

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Inkysmom shes eating meow mix i bought her a little play thing i have to get the rest to make a tunnel but shes loving it i put her bed in it but she rather sleep on me and her cat condo she loves any toy with feathers but she chews on the feather part is it safe should i get her something different and is it safe to give her cat nip im trying to find calming cat nip
 
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