I love my cat, but i dont like her anymore.

2 dozen

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This may have been mentioned but I was on Chewy.com looking at the Thundershirt for one of my cats who cries constantly when awake to go out of bedroom suite (large bedroom with bathroom and private deck for warm weather), then when I used to let him out of bedroom would cry to go outside which I never let my cats do. All day and all night, has been doing this for years, (with me for 2 years and before that with my son for 5 years) Since I have decided not to let him out of the cat suite (8 cats there all of whom get along) I need something to help him so I am going to try this. Perhaps this may work for your cat or something similar..

ThunderShirt Anxiety & Calming Aid for Cats, Heather Grey, Medium - Chewy.com
 
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terestrife

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i dont know what to do with this stupid cat anymore. ever since my niece decided that she doesnt want the cats upstairs anymore, they are more determined to come upstairs.

i get home, and the first thing i do is feed them. After i shower i exercise her to tire her out. not even an hour later shes begging for attention. she obsessively goes upstairs. i cant even relax anymore. i keep having to get up and shoo her downstairs. because if i dont my niece will start yelling at her. They know they cant come upstairs so its driving her need to be upstairs even more.

shes become so obnoxiously needy that i cant stand her anymore. every night she wakes me up at 4:00 am. i normally wake up at 5:00 for work. she doesnt leave me alone. i already struggle with insomnia lately. i dont know if its from the medication im taking (megestrol). it sounds awful but i just want her to leave me alone.

Note: i am writing this at 4:48 AM. I randomly woke up around 2:00 AM and havent been able to go back to sleep. my cats been annoying me for the past hour and I couldnt go back to sleep. It seems she heard me wake up. the behavior is being reinforced because i need to keep getting up and shooing her away.
 
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terestrife

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~ It sounds like the solution may be to rehome kitty. Take a look at this website :
😽 Adopt-A-Pet:redcat:
as obnoxious as she is, i promised myself that i would only adopt a pet once i could make a lifelong decision to care for that pet. there has to be a way to calm her down.

I didn't want to waste money right now but I'm looking into the herb that was suggested. Found something called hemp oil too.

Im going to take some benadryl and knock myself out. Finally 5 am fed the cat's going back to sleep.
 
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Maria Bayote

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Don't worry. Initially when I was fostering several cats I used to feel the same way as you do. That was the time that one of my fosters, (her name was Bagic), was adopted by another family although I knew in my heart I wanted to really keep her, but I was tired and fed up with her yowling, playing at night (first time I took care of kittens), swatting me for food at anytime in the night, etc. When she left the house, I wanted to chase the adopter's car and tell them I changed my mind. It was a decision that still breaks my heart until now.

Anyway, my Bourbon used to be the same as your kitty. She jumps on my stomach, swats me in the face, meows loudly at night etc when she wants food, or just wants someone to accompany her in the living room. Now her demands have lessened a bit, but now I never give in to her anymore. If she continues to pester me at night, I confine her in the living room. The same way goes to any of my other cats. I used to feed them before bedtime, at midnight, at 3 am and another at 5am, leaving me with no real straight sleep. Now after I feed them wet food each before bedtime, I just leave some dry kibbles for them to munch on until their next morning meal. I also make sure that their litter boxes are scooped before I go to sleep as Bourbon also is fuzzy about a dirty box.
 
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terestrife

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Don't worry. Initially when I was fostering several cats I used to feel the same way as you do. That was the time that one of my fosters, (her name was Bagic), was adopted by another family although I knew in my heart I wanted to really keep her, but I was tired and fed up with her yowling, playing at night (first time I took care of kittens), swatting me for food at anytime in the night, etc. When she left the house, I wanted to chase the adopter's car and tell them I changed my mind. It was a decision that still breaks my heart until now.

Anyway, my Bourbon used to be the same as your kitty. She jumps on my stomach, swats me in the face, meows loudly at night etc when she wants food, or just wants someone to accompany her in the living room. Now her demands have lessened a bit, but now I never give in to her anymore. If she continues to pester me at night, I confine her in the living room. The same way goes to any of my other cats. I used to feed them before bedtime, at midnight, at 3 am and another at 5am, leaving me with no real straight sleep. Now after I feed them wet food each before bedtime, I just leave some dry kibbles for them to munch on until their next morning meal. I also make sure that their litter boxes are scooped before I go to sleep as Bourbon also is fuzzy about a dirty box.
i was actually doing really well with controlling her neediness. i used to put on my sound machine and she would give up. it was great. now my niece decided she wanted her child's playroom to be in the middle of the upstairs. if i dont get home and shoo kitty downstairs my niece starts yelling at her. since they cant come upstairs it drives her need to go upstairs even more. she knows im going to go to the door to shoo her away, so she comes up, over and over and over and over.

hopefully if i can ever move out of here it will be easier to train her.
 
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terestrife

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ended up buying a cat feeder. it seems to help her somewhat to know when her food is coming. shes still needy. but its not an level 100 at all times.
 
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terestrife

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Been using the device for a few days. the device has helped with a lot of the frustrations i have had with my cat. she still wakes me up, but its mostly for attention. Its not for hunger. It helps my mindset that i dont need to go downstairs half asleep to feed her anymore.

im not sure if she loves the way the food tastes, she usually gobbles her food fast, below was her bowl after 20 minutes. she eventually ate it, but took awhile.

p.s. ignore her snack crumbs, shes very messy. lol

20191124_170904.jpg 20191124_111308.jpg 20191124_111944.jpg
 

moxiewild

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I have and have had cats like this.

Currently, I have one food crazed one who sleeps with us, wakes up at 4/5 in the morning to YELL for food, eventually attack us, and who did not respond to completely being ignored for over 4 months.

The other is a foster who is food crazy (he even knows how to open cabinet doors, our pantry door, will break dishes in/around the sink, and get into every trash can we have) and he is also just sooo needy and extremely high energy in general.

These cats can be so exhausting...

What worked with just my food crazed one, was just a timed feeder. We schedule it to go off multiple times a night, just about 5-10 prices (more as it gets close to when he usually wakes us up), and just cut back on his wet food during the day accordingly (he broke into every single wet food feeder we found). You might consider one that has the capability to go off many times s day for consistent, very small feedings.

For other cats like this - especially foster cats who I’m not comfortable sending to homes when they still have bad behaviors needing to be addressed - I’ve had luck with a combination of crate training and clicker training.

Crating isn’t ideal, but they do seem to adjust to scheduled crating and will even go in on their own accord even when it’s not crate time. Crating often produces just better behaved cats in general so long as they’re only crated for reasonable amounts of time, associate their crate with positive things, and are thoroughly played with and paid attention to when out.

I find that clicker training also helps improve behavior while simultaneously being a source of stimulation. I especially do this with cats who are in the lazier side and not interested enough in hard play sessions.

Leash training also helps for a lot of cats!

And I’ve never done this, but I know people who have, so if it’s within your ability, you might consider a catio or other cat enclosure outside to spend at least some of his time. This is definitely something most cats seem to enjoy.

This might be controversial, but sometimes food crazed cats like this are actually suffering from obsessions and compulsions. I would never rule out psychiatric medication as the final, last resort before rehoming. Behavior like this can also be a result of genuine stress or boredom, so I’d experiment with ways to severely decrease boredom (play is not your only option here), and then promote calmness (tons of aids and other things to help with this).

I know how you feel. My one foster is a cat who I absolutely adore and want to adopt during his good moments. But most of his moments are not good and he hasn’t responded to any training in the nearly year I’ve had him. And I often resent him because he is perpetually taking up a spot that could have been used to rehome 5+ other cats in that time. And I of course feel terrible for feeling that way.

Hang in there.
 
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terestrife

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moxiewild moxiewild

sounds like you know a lot about cats. you do so much for kitties needing homes. You must have a big heart. :heartshape:

The feeder is definitely helping kitty. but she cant break the habit of coming up to remind me its her food time. i cant follow her downstairs, because i dont want her to see me as her food source. i want her to understand that the food is there waiting for her. she sometimes forgets to just go look for her food at the right time. Her food has been open for twenty minutes and shes wasting time reminding me to feed her.

i would love a catio but this isnt my permanent home and dont want to invest money into building a catio in my sisters house.
 
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terestrife

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i dont know if i should seperate the food into four compartments. i feel like her food stays fresher longer because its a big block of food. im thinking of splitting her food so itll come out at 4 am and then 5 am. she keeps annoying me at 4 am to remind me its her food time (she eats every day at 5 am and 5 pm). i dont know if she'll start annoying me at 3 am if i do that. :sigh::sniffle:
 

moxiewild

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moxiewild moxiewild

sounds like you know a lot about cats. you do so much for kitties needing homes. You must have a big heart. :heartshape:

The feeder is definitely helping kitty. but she cant break the habit of coming up to remind me its her food time. i cant follow her downstairs, because i dont want her to see me as her food source. i want her to understand that the food is there waiting for her. she sometimes forgets to just go look for her food at the right time. Her food has been open for twenty minutes and shes wasting time reminding me to feed her.

i would love a catio but this isnt my permanent home and dont want to invest money into building a catio in my sisters house.
I had the feeder you have at some point, but I can’t recall - does it make a distinct noise when delivering the food? Many of them beep or have the option for a voice recording.

It does take a while for them to figure out the feeder schedule, but it’s a lot harder if there is not a distinct sound, it’s too far to really hear it clearly (think mid-sleep on the other side of the house - how good of the chances he will hear it?) and if they are not usually in the same location during the times it goes off.

It helps to keep the feeder - at least at first - where the cat usually is during that time or where it can most easily be heard, even if that’s not where you usually feed him or want to be feeding him. But doing so helps with training him to associate the feeder sound with meal time.

Once they have that down, you can move the feeder to its permanent location. Kitty will hear the sound and get excited. He may go frantically seek out the feeder himself, but most cats will look to you confused at first, not knowing where the feeder is anymore. You may need to spend up to a week escorting him to the feeder for him go “get it” but most catch on fairly quickly.

The sound here is the most crucial part. Escorting him should not cause him to associate you with food to a significant degree, as the sound will now work as the primary memory/habit anchor.

And like I said, it took me a while of playing with types of feeders, how many feedings, the size of the feedings, and the exact timing to finally hit the combination that worked for our kitty. And ultimately what worked ended up involving working dry food into his diet (we normally feed wet only, except for kittens), so that was another aspect requiring us to adapt.

It was an exhausting process, but so long as we saw progress we didn’t give up and continued tinkering. In the end, it was worth it.

This will take time, but stick with it and experiment as needed.
 
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terestrife

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I switched the feeder to give out wet food at 3:40 am, 4:40 am, 3:40 pm, and 4:40 pm.

Its now 8 am and i haven't heard a peep from my cats. Been in bed all morning. :hearthrob: :heartshape::heartshape::heartshape:
 
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