I Lost My Winnie 5 Days Ago

[cara1970]

Phew, thank you. They wanted to do a lot more for him, take out his spleen do a blood transfusion and then he'd still be diabetic and still have pancreatitis. I said no more.
I'm sorry you lost your parents, that must've been absolutely awful! My mother was diagnosed with brain tumour three years ago - we lost my 'mother' three months after diagnosis- she became something else, with no cognitive abilities. That was rough for me also, but it is soft landing in terms of acceptance.

I have never wanted time to pass so fast as I do right now. Acceptance of his death has been the hardest and I do feel I have gotten to that point finally today. Yesterday it was utterly unbelievable to me that he wouldn't be here anymore, giving the most stellar cuddles, being the best guard-cat you'd even want and just lazing out in his hammock in the sunshine. Impossible it seemed to imagine life going on without him. Today is better.... hopefully tomorrow is even better. I'm trying to hang in there, but I don't know how I'd have done it without your help and others on this site.

 

[WinniesMomma]

Phew, thank you. They wanted to do a lot more for him, take out his spleen do a blood transfusion and then he'd still be diabetic and still have pancreatitis. I said no more.
I'm sorry you lost your parents, that must've been absolutely awful! My mother was diagnosed with brain tumour three years ago - we lost my 'mother' three months after diagnosis- she became something else, with no cognitive abilities. That was rough for me also, but it is soft landing in terms of acceptance.

I have never wanted time to pass so fast as I do right now. Acceptance of his death has been the hardest and I do feel I have gotten to that point finally today. Yesterday it was utterly unbelievable to me that he wouldn't be here anymore, giving the most stellar cuddles, being the best guard-cat you'd even want and just lazing out in his hammock in the sunshine. Impossible it seemed to imagine life going on without him. Today is better.... hopefully tomorrow is even better. I'm trying to hang in there, but I don't know how I'd have done it without your help and others on this site.

Yeah, there is always that point when you know that it will be too much to no avail, and we don't want to put them through that.

Thank you. I am so sorry you lost your mom. My dad died a little over a year ago, lung cancer which metastasized to his brain. He also passed 3 months after being diagnosed. I know what you mean..it was almost a relief for him to be out of pain, because like you said, towards the end, it wasn't really him. I lost my mom about three years ago..she had health problems but got worse and was in the hospital for a few weeks unfortunately.

I am so glad today is better for you. Tomorrow will probably be, too. But don't feel that you've gone backwards if you have those moments of sadness or doubt or guilt. I am also happy to have this community..so many people offered so many kind words for me.

 

[WinniesMomma]

I forgot to post this and thought you guys might like it.

i friend of mine who paints made this for me after I lost Winnie. He did it based off this photo. I thought that was so nice!

 

[cara1970]

She really is a beautiful girl.
When I get the courage, I will post photos of Fred. He was also a tuxedo cat. His markings gave him white eyelashes on one side and black on the other. So adorable.
Better today, at least I'm not a blubbering mess every 2 seconds. Went back to work yesterday which strangely helped. Also taking Ignatia Amara which is soooo amazingly helpful - when I start to feel that familiar punch to the stomach I don't let it go further than that and take the Igantia (drop form). I don't want to start the avalanche of pain that follows.
Finally had a lovely dream about Fred, Not sure it was a dream or memory but he was sitting in my lap as he did, with his back to me so that I could rub his chest and belly. I had it in that liminal state between sleep and waking. I know he's ok.

 

[WinniesMomma]

She really is a beautiful girl.
When I get the courage, I will post photos of Fred. He was also a tuxedo cat. His markings gave him white eyelashes on one side and black on the other. So adorable.
Better today, at least I'm not a blubbering mess every 2 seconds. Went back to work yesterday which strangely helped. Also taking Ignatia Amara which is soooo amazingly helpful - when I start to feel that familiar punch to the stomach I don't let it go further than that and take the Igantia (drop form). I don't want to start the avalanche of pain that follows.
Finally had a lovely dream about Fred, Not sure it was a dream or memory but he was sitting in my lap as he did, with his back to me so that I could rub his chest and belly. I had it in that liminal state between sleep and waking. I know he's ok.

Thank you! That sounds adorable..they have such unique coloring. I would love to see a photo when you are ready.

Aw that is so nice. I do think them coming to us in our dreams is them saying hi.

 

[cara1970]

Thank you! That sounds adorable..they have such unique coloring. I would love to see a photo when you are ready.

Aw that is so nice. I do think them coming to us in our dreams is them saying hi.

Why do they creep so deeply into our hearts! That is what I want to know! I had to grieve for my mother, but seems sooooo entirely different. I wasn't walking around like someone was twisting my guts around in a blender. I was sad, it was shitty, but it wasn't such a sharp pain as this. I just don't know why. Perhaps its that human/animal bond which is different.

 

[di and bob]

Our animals totally accept us for who and what we are. They just love us, completely and fully. The bond we develop with them is the entertwining of souls. A parents love is different, as different as when we find the 'perfect' one to share our lives. They are all different in intensity, deepness and how they affect our heart. When our animals leave us, a part of us goes with them........

 

[WinniesMomma]

Why do they creep so deeply into our hearts! That is what I want to know! I had to grieve for my mother, but seems sooooo entirely different. I wasn't walking around like someone was twisting my guts around in a blender. I was sad, it was shitty, but it wasn't such a sharp pain as this. I just don't know why. Perhaps its that human/animal bond which is different.

Yes! Thank you! It is so hard to describe but I know exactly what you mean!

Our animals totally accept us for who and what we are. They just love us, completely and fully. The bond we develop with them is the entertwining of souls. A parents love is different, as different as when we find the 'perfect' one to share our lives. They are all different in intensity, deepness and how they affect our heart. When our animals leave us, a part of us goes with them........

Very true.

 

[WinniesMomma]

I can't believe it's been a month since I had to say goodbye to Winnie. I feel like she gave me a sign yesterday, though. We were taking a trip and I missed a turn. Then I realized we were re-routed onto Winnie Lane! So that made me smile.

 

[di and bob]

A sign for sure!

 

[WinniesMomma]

A sign for sure!

 

[WinniesMomma]

It has been two months now since I lost Winnie. Overall I am doing okay. I still think of her and sometimes tear up and get sad when I think of losing her. I try to keep the good, happy memories at the forefront of my thinking of her, but sometimes that sadness peeks in. She was such a special girl..sometimes it still doesn't feel real.

 

[1 bruce 1]

It has been two months now since I lost Winnie. Overall I am doing okay. I still think of her and sometimes tear up and get sad when I think of losing her. I try to keep the good, happy memories at the forefront of my thinking of her, but sometimes that sadness peeks in. She was such a special girl..sometimes it still doesn't feel real.

What's helped us in the past is when that sadness creeps in, think of the funniest thing they ever did.
I took a video once of one of our dogs playing. He saw me crouched down and trotted over to me to say hello. One of our cats (who is now 12) crouched down all flat like, and when the dog trotted by, he did a massive "all-four's-outstretched" cartwheel after the dog. The dog didn't even look at him, and when the cat landed he just sat there and looked around as if to say "what?" I know when he's gone, I'll think of that video and laugh.
We got one of our cats home from a routine surgery at the vets, and she refused to come out and about. She liked hiding under things. So she hid under this little cat bed. I'd say "come out, come out, wherever you are" and the bed would walk across the floor. You never saw feet or a tail, she was so concealed, so she became "walking bed cat".
Two months isn't that long. We're always here to listen, and help if we can

 

[WinniesMomma]

What's helped us in the past is when that sadness creeps in, think of the funniest thing they ever did.
I took a video once of one of our dogs playing. He saw me crouched down and trotted over to me to say hello. One of our cats (who is now 12) crouched down all flat like, and when the dog trotted by, he did a massive "all-four's-outstretched" cartwheel after the dog. The dog didn't even look at him, and when the cat landed he just sat there and looked around as if to say "what?" I know when he's gone, I'll think of that video and laugh.
We got one of our cats home from a routine surgery at the vets, and she refused to come out and about. She liked hiding under things. So she hid under this little cat bed. I'd say "come out, come out, wherever you are" and the bed would walk across the floor. You never saw feet or a tail, she was so concealed, so she became "walking bed cat".
Two months isn't that long. We're always here to listen, and help if we can

Thank you. I love the story of the bed moving