I Lost My Sweet Kitty Today

inkysmom

Inky's legacy - Belly rubs CAN tame feral cats!
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Hugs to all of you who have gone through devastating losses.
Today I lost my fifth cat in 2 years. I also lost my beloved dog of almost 12 years february 2016 after a long fight with an awful spinal disease. I am down to two cats and a new dog. One cat is allergic to many things, the dog is young but has inflammatory bowel disease and food allergies and the other cat has a blue ear which is spreading but has been biopsied twice and is benign.

My gorgeous black formerly feral cat died today in the hospital. He had diabetes which I carefully managed for two years and was stable. Last winter they discovered he had asthma for years but never felt it was severe enough to treat until this past week. He had stomatitis and was treated by removing many teeth but could eat fine with what was left and would give me love bites that hurt with sharp little fangs to prove his teeth were fine. He had otitis from years of being feral and not letting me tame him to touch him until I had to give him insulin shots.

Then I tamed him and he became the sweetest most loving affectionate cat. He went from scratching and drawing blood if I petted him to sleeping on my head, head butting me, rubbing his face against mine, loving belly rubs and sleeping with his little face leaning trustingly against my cheek with his paw in my hand or his paw wrapped around my arm. We could communicate, he'd look at me then his water bowl and I knew he wanted me to change the water so I did and he'd then drink it, icy cold clean water of course. He wouldn't eat one food but I knew he wanted tuna or food with gravy or in sauce and he'd eat from me, even on his last day when he wouldn't eat from anyone else. He would give a little meow and I knew he wanted a shoulder rub or for me to rub his chin and hold it up as his pillow.

What got him was the cancer. His best buddy, my new dog started obsessively licking his ears last fall. I took him to the vet hospital and asked for a biopsy. They said otitis is chronic and rarely malignant. I said my dog smells cancer do the biopsies. It was cancer. They did total ear canal ablation on both ears, removed all the cancer and said he'd be fine Feb 2017. This cancer is usually not aggressive and grows slowly, over 4 or 5 years in 90%of cats and he's already 14 or 15. A month or 2 later he's scratching his ears raw again and the dog is licking him frantically again. Back we go, in only 2 months the cancer has returned and spread to the lymph nodes. The 1st chemo treatment doesn't work. Next chemo treatment they try different kind which doesn't work and makes him very sick. They take him off his pain meds because they're injectable and there's an opioid crisis, just when he's doing well again.

They stop chemo. He goes downhill. I have a second opinion set up for radiation and different cancer vet. He gets worse then better and is in and out of the hospital. Asthma gets worse, he has infection from scratching tumors when they stopped pain meds. He eats and perks up and is happy and loving when I'm with him. I agonize wanting hom to see the other vet since the infection and asthma are treatable. They start talking euthanasia. I'm visiting him in the hospital and spending hours with him every night, he's happy with me there and eats and purrs like a motor for me and drinks. Yesterday he gets worse. But I spent a couple of hours there late last night and he's purring leaning chin on me and ate all juice from a can of tuna and drank a lot of water with me and is looking at me lovingly. Phone consult with other place this morning learn radiation might not work and requires anesthesia. He's too sick for that.

I'm heading out to hospital to see him and try to make euthanasia decision when they call and he's in cardiac arrest. They get his heartbeat going until I get there and hug and kiss him and tell him how much I love him forever then euthanize him. My dog, his best buddy got to sniff him too right before. Maybe I waited too long. He was on strong pain meds the last week in the hospital and I didn't take him home because I was afraid he'd suffer in the car or at home. I wish I'd stayed longer last night he didn't want me to leave. I also wish I'd gotten there earlier and seen him before his dying.

I can't stop crying. One of the other pets has been moving his favorite toy mouse around the apartment. No one ever played with it but him. When he was cancer free briefly he loved that mouse and played with it nonstop. Every time I look at it I start crying again. I miss him sleeping on my head and butting against my face purring demanding love and attention. And jumping over the baby gate to sneak into the kitchen to eat the nondiabetic cat food. And cuddling with the dog and little cat. And purring and drooling on me.

From feral to complete lovebug. I only had 2 years of him trusting and loving me. But managing his diabetes and ears and infections and then cancer my life literally revolved around him the past 2 years and I was constantly thinking about him or checking on him or making sure he ate or medicating him. He was like my special needs baby. He had a hypoglycemic episode once that scared me so much. I'd wake up at night to check on him and I'd always look for him. I lost my mom's beloved cat to cancer in stomach and intestines October 2016. It's too much.
 
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les26

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I am so very sorry for all your losses, especially this most recent one, you should be commended for all that you lovingly did for him and the rest, so sorry to hear that your time was up with him, but you had a special bond that can NEVER be broken....you took him in when he was feral and him becoming so affectionate was his way of telling you "thank you" everyday.

I hope that your heart heals a bit each day, God Bless......:alright:
 

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I know the losses seem like more than you can bear, but each and every loss is balanced by the love and happiness you received from them all. They were in your life for a reason, you were their everything, and they loved you for it. You have a loving heart, you went above and beyond what most would have done, much more than many. You gave those sweet babies a wonderful life, your love, and the best care you could manage, they loved and appreciated it more than you will ever know. You shared your life's journey for a while, and now they follow along a new path, never far from your own, ready to joyously meet you once more when those paths cross again at the end of your own journey.
Your sweet boy would never want you to be so sad because of him. He would want you to go on and find happiness once more in your life, just as you would want for him if you were the first to go. Use your precious memories to bring you comfort, the bond you have with him can never be taken from you, not even by death. It is spiritual, so eternal.
My heart and tears go out to you, I know the pain of a broken heart. Know you are not alone, we will share the burden of grief so it becomes bearable. Take care of yourself........RIP precious boy, you will never be forgotten and will be held in a loving heart forever more. Please send what comfort you can to the one who misses you so terribly much. Sleep tight, little panther!
 

Mia6

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I am so very sorry for this loss and all your other recent losses.
We are all here for you as so many of us have suffered losses.
He sounds like he was just the sweetest, loveliest little guy.
He is at peace now.

Hugs,

Mia
 

margd

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I am so sorry about the cat who left you today and all the other furry family members you have lost recently. It is too much, it is rare that one person has to deal with so much loss at once. I just can't tell you how sorry I am that you are having to suffer like this.

There really is something very special about the bond with a feral cat who decides to give you their unconditional love and trust. He sounds like he was truly a wonderful cat and that the two of you were able to communicate in a way that transcends species. My heart goes out to you for the pain and loss you feel right now. There really are no words that can begin to express what you are going through but people here do understand. I hope some day you can find some comfort in happier memories of the precious time you spent together. :hugs: :rbheart: :blackcat2::rbheart: :hugs:
 
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inkysmom

Inky's legacy - Belly rubs CAN tame feral cats!
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Thank you all for your kind words. All of the cats that died were between 14 and 16 except one who was 12 and all had advanced cancer except one 16 year old who had a massive sudden infection. She had lost significant weight prior to the infection so might have had cancer too it just didn't seem worth putting her through more tests to satisfy my curiosity when it was clear she wasn't going to survive the infection. My dog that died was large and nearly 12 and had a degenerative spinal disease, so they were all older.

Inky was very special and had been deaf since his second ear surgery in February that made him temporarily cancer free. Maybe that made us bond more. He became aggressive at first to the other pets as he adjusted but also seemed happy to be pain free and healed and started playing for the first time in his life. He loved this one little toy mouse that no other pet played with. I still cry whenever I look at it. Since he was in the hospital the past week the mouse has been moved around my apartment so I wonder if one of the other cats or the dog have been missing him and playing with it. They all just cuddle and hover with me in the bed or wherever I am at home now and follow me everywhere. They've always been clingy the two cats left and this dog but I think know he's gone since I brought his carrier home without him and put away the extra kitty litter and opened up the bathroom where I used to put him to feed him his special food. Plus the dog got to sniff him right before euthanizing and after when I sat in a room with his body petting and talking to him for a while. Not sure if the dog understood or not but usually he loved this cat and would lick and cuddle with him nonstop and after one sniff he would go away and not want to go back. Sorry if too morbid but after losing so many so quickly I got used to being with them during euthanasia and trying to comfort and talk to them before and during if possible and then staying with them a little while after since I'll never see them again and it's my last goodbye. The ones I regret the most is if they're in pain and I can't say goodbye and have to euthanize fast, or like with this cat where he wasn't conscious or with my last dog where he died after surgery and I wasn't there and couldn't be with him.
But I really appreciate all your kind words. He was definitely a very special cat. I've loved all my pets and it's been devastating losing each one, it never gets any easier and I always question if I'm doing the right thing. It's such a tough balance for me between advocating for them and fighting and not wanting to ever feel like I'm giving up on them too soon when they could survive and recover and knowing when they've had enough and can't possibly recover and what they want. And when to hope for a miracle and when to let them go. I always want the miracle and more time with them and I think they sense that because they each are miracles to me in the first place. I already have so many happy, funny, quirky memories of him. He was a fighter and a character from day one. We got so close I felt like he told me very clearly what he wanted as far as food and water and where to pet. Maybe I've learned to speak some cat over the years or he learned some human. But he'd look at the water bowl and then look at me and I knew he wanted me to fill the bowl to the top with fresh icy cold water with nothing floating in it. He was picky about his water. He didn't like the hospital food, it wasn't canned in extra gravy or sauce and they didn't hold it for him to smell. Once I got the right flavors in gravy and offered it he ate all of it. I knew his favorite and little rituals. And favorite places for scratches vs massages and when he wanted to use me for a chin pillow. All the ltitle things from living with him for years. All worth doing to keep him happy and any comfort.
 
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inkysmom

Inky's legacy - Belly rubs CAN tame feral cats!
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I got the call today that his ashes are back at the hospital. I wish I'd saved a little piece of his beautiful black fur. It seems maybe they don't do that for small pets? Ice had one or two horses for decades and it seems common to save a lock of mane or tail when a horse dies.
I feel like his whole little life is now reduced to a bunch of ashes and a rushed thoughtful inscription on a box. His whole little personality and mannerisms and bravery struggle to learn to trust me and people and deal with so many medical issues were so much more, many pets and people wouldn't be so brave, but they're just in my lousy memory now and don't count because he was just a feral cat. He had more strength and courage and love than many people I know.
My little Ruby cat who was completely bonded to him keeps sneezing and moping around. I found him hiding in the dog crate.and a paper bag yesterday. Inkys favorite toy mouse keeps mysteriously movin around my apartment so I think Ruby's playing with it because it smells like his missing brother. My other cat is very clingy and cranky with Ruby and the dog. The dog is depressed and sleeps nonstop in the apartment but I make us go to the dog park every day. He then just sits by me or trues to vet forbidden things like acorns or cigarettes (?!!) But if one of his best buddies come by they force him to play which is good for him.
It's just depressing and now I'm worried about little Ruby.
 

les26

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Yes, the other pets feel the loss probably as much as you do, maybe even more. They need you now just as you need them, you need to stay together as a family but I'm sure that you already know that.

We always feel upset when we have to go pick up the box with their ashes in, but when we bring it home we feel like they also are home again, it's almost like a form of closure in a way.

We are all here feeling your pain with you, we understand and are sorry to hear of this situation as we know too well the feelings and bad emotions....:alright: :grouphug:
 
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inkysmom

Inky's legacy - Belly rubs CAN tame feral cats!
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Thank you. I was doing well with not crying for the past couple of days and focusing on my other cat's and dog eating and taking my dog to the dog park daily and making him play since he was very bonded to Inky. And the dog sniffed him at the end and after he died and has been very depressed ever since without his little brother. He tried so hard to save him, always trying to frantically lick and heal his ears and tumors and show me where the cancer was. What a good pup.
But I was doing fine focusin on the rest 9f them until I got the call today, then major meltdowns all day, missing my little feral baby. Still can't believe he's really gone after all the advocating and fighting and treatments and love. I literally spent the past 2 years caring for him and completely focused on him.
 

Jason607

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I feel like his whole little life is now reduced to a bunch of ashes and a rushed thoughtful inscription on a box. His whole little personality and mannerisms and bravery struggle to learn to trust me and people and deal with so many medical issues were so much more, many pets and people wouldn't be so brave, but they're just in my lousy memory now and don't count because he was just a feral cat. He had more strength and courage and love than many people I know.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I read your story on my thread where you posted but I wanted to get the full story here. It pains me to know how you patiently turned inky from a feral cat to a wonderful beautiful child of yours who loves you with all his heart. Even now he is more then ashes and "just a feral cat"...... much much more. Inky has touched the lives of everyone here that read his story. He will live on in you and a little part of him will be carried by all of us from now on.

One of us may see a vicious scrappy feral cat one day who looks like he will not able to be rehabilitated. But then we will think of Inky and your relationship and what a wonderful soul he turned out to be. And we will take that little wild tiger and work with him until he is a beautiful wonderful child like inky. That will be thanks to Inky and yourself. Trust me your little boy will change the world more then you think. And its all because of you. I know your hurting and I know it feels horrible but please continue to share with us. It will let us know even more about your beloved Inky and carry a bigger part of him with us.

It will also make you feel better. I know this because when I was writing my first message here my biggest fear was that no one would respond. Or the response would be minimal. I was such a mess because of Mew Mew that I was desperate for any comfort. So I did something I never do and put my heart out on this board and prayed for someone to give me just a little relief. What I got was an out pour of support that has helped tremendously. I have been able to accept her passing with more clam then I ever thought possible. I know it will be the same for you. Just give it time and continue to pour your love onto your other babies who are also missing their brother Inky.
 
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inkysmom

Inky's legacy - Belly rubs CAN tame feral cats!
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Thank you, that helps to read your kind post. In my job in real life I help others and never ask for help for myself. Many people I know, including close family and friends believe "it's just a cat, get overy it, now you're not a crazy cat lady with 7 cats any more so get married and shut up already"
They don't understand that I've ended relationships with friends and significant others who thought it was fun to tease my dog, or heartlessly push my cats away or shove them off furniture or whine about germs or cat fur everywhere, or got angry if they raised their voice and my protective formerly abused dog barked and growled at them to protect me. Yes I will choose my beloved pets over the wrong people any day, especially people in my family who hate pets and thoughtlessly re traumatize them and tell me for years to stop wasting money on a feral diabetic cat who was scratching me daily. They'd visit a few times a year, and even when they saw his transformation to loving pets seeking belly rubs and constantly bunting my face with his little cheek and literally sleeping with his body and head wrapped around my head, purring loudly and drooling and holding my arm wrapped in his little paw and forearm, they couldn't recognize that for the treasure. Miracle and gift it was, but nag and yell at me about animal germs and diseases and how contaminated my bedding was going to be fr letting pets on it.
They'd also push away my loving gentle dogs and other cats and shove them heartless off my furniture even when I said they're allowed on my chairs and couch.

It's so comforting to finally find this site and read of other people devoting endless time and resources to save their precious little cats and know I'm not alone. I e always gone above and beyond for all my pets. I've had at least 11 cats, 3 dogs and 3 horses and literally tore my heart out to keep each one as healthy and comfortable for as long as possible. My dad grew up in a farm in a cruel abusive environment and sees animals as a useless expendable source of income and hates that I spend so much time and money on pets. He still doesn't know my cats names and had to figure out which cat died a few days ago. I finally told him the ex pensive diabetic one to make him figure it out. My mom was loving and compassionate but died years ago.
I'd love for little Inky to inspire others to take in and tame feral cats!!! Even all those years he didn't trust me, he never once tried to go outside. He knew he had a good deal with food, water, ac, heat, other cats and comfort! He was definitely not stupid.
Once I did tame him he always wanted to be on my bed with me cuddling like he had so much lost time to make up for, or he knew he didn't have much time left and was always trying to store up more. But he was always head butting me, always rubbing against me with a quiet chirpy meow demanding petting now, always rubbing against my face and drooling always rolling on his back wanting more belly rubs. Always wanting me to hold up and scratch his chin, even that last night before he died. Always demanding what he wanted. Telling me in no uncertain terms to clean and change his water, to give him better food than the diabetic crqp, to clean the kitty litter, to let him out of the bathroom. To cater to him, I loved every second of being this cats servant while he was so sick
 

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I lost my Pretzel to a cancer that started in the sebaceous (ear wax) gland. The first we knew about it was when I found blood on my lap after lap time -- the cancer had burst her ear drum. She had numerous surgeries; they kept thinking they had gotten all of it, and it kept coming back. We decided against radiation; it was doubtful whether it would have done any good, and it would have been too hard on her, so finally we just kept her at home on an effective pain med, and when the pain became stronger than the medication we called the vet to come euthanize her. We lucked out in being able to do it at home; I'm sorry you didn't have that comfort.

It's much harder when you lose so many in such short succession; you just start to get your feet under you after one loss and, boom! another loss hits you again.

Thank you. I was doing well with not crying for the past couple of days and focusing on my other cat's and dog eating and taking my dog to the dog park daily and making him play since he was very bonded to Inky. And the dog sniffed him at the end and after he died and has been very depressed ever since without his little brother. He tried so hard to save him, always trying to frantically lick and heal his ears and tumors and show me where the cancer was. What a good pup.
But I was doing fine focusin on the rest 9f them until I got the call today, then major meltdowns all day, missing my little feral baby. Still can't believe he's really gone after all the advocating and fighting and treatments and love. I literally spent the past 2 years caring for him and completely focused on him.
I know you can't just stay home constantly, and you need to be able to function at work. But not crying isn't good for you. You need to grieve. It may help to set aside some time each day just for grieving, so that you're all cried out when you have to function at work.

Thank you, that helps to read your kind post. In my job in real life I help others and never ask for help for myself. Many people I know, including close family and friends believe "it's just a cat, get overy it, now you're not a crazy cat lady with 7 cats any more so get married and shut up already"
They don't understand that I've ended relationships with friends and significant others who thought it was fun to tease my dog, or heartlessly push my cats away or shove them off furniture or whine about germs or cat fur everywhere, or got angry if they raised their voice and my protective formerly abused dog barked and growled at them to protect me. Yes I will choose my beloved pets over the wrong people any day, especially people in my family who hate pets and thoughtlessly re traumatize them and tell me for years to stop wasting money on a feral diabetic cat who was scratching me daily. They'd visit a few times a year, and even when they saw his transformation to loving pets seeking belly rubs and constantly bunting my face with his little cheek and literally sleeping with his body and head wrapped around my head, purring loudly and drooling and holding my arm wrapped in his little paw and forearm, they couldn't recognize that for the treasure. Miracle and gift it was, but nag and yell at me about animal germs and diseases and how contaminated my bedding was going to be fr letting pets on it.
They'd also push away my loving gentle dogs and other cats and shove them heartless off my furniture even when I said they're allowed on my chairs and couch.
I'm so sorry your family doesn't understand about having pets. Not only are they making it hard on you, they're depriving themselves of one of life's great joys.

Grieving is extremely important work; it gives your wounded spirit a chance to heal. Rules of thumb for successful grieving:
  • It hurts as much as it hurts. There is no such thing as "just a cat," not when that cat is your fur-baby. Inky was a member of your family, and it's supposed to hurt when a family member dies. When people tell you that "It was just a cat," thank them for their concern for your welfare, but don't believe what they're saying. In the first place, Inky was not an "it"; Inky had his very own personality, and he was not "just" anything. He was a remarkable and loving individual, as distinct from every other cat as you are from every other human. He was a part of your daily life and one of the people who made your home a home, so his loss is deeply painful. Hang on tight to your right, your need to grieve his loss.
  • It takes as long as it takes. Don't listen to people who tell you things like "It's already been a month (six months, a year, whatever). Don't you think it's time to move on?" You are the only judge of when it's time to move on. You'll know when that time comes, and until it does do your grief work.
  • The only way to the other side of grief is straight through the middle. There are no shortcuts and no bypasses, and if you try to take a shortcut all you'll do is to get stuck in your grief, by not continuing to move through it so that you can reach the other side. This is why those first two rules of thumb are so important; they protect your right and your need to keep moving.
And remember, don't let the jerks grind you down. When you need a shoulder to cry on, from someone who understands what you're going through, we're here, and we'll never call Inky "it," and we'll never tell you to "just get over it" or "move on." We've all been through this, and we all know that we'll be going through this again one of these days or years. In other words, we've got a clue.

:grouphug2::catrub:

Rest in peace, sweet Inky. You were and are beloved. Short as it was, you made your life count.

:rbheart: :bigeyes:

Margret
 
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inkysmom

Inky's legacy - Belly rubs CAN tame feral cats!
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Thank you Margret for your kind heartfelt post. I did go and pick up Inky's ashes and pawprint with the engraved plaque from the vet hospital tonight which was so sad. I wanted to go in there and say I was there to visit him or take him home but not in that way. I was surprised that not a single vet or tech wrote any kind of little condolence note on his pawprint card. For all the departments and staff that saw and treated him practically daily for six months, no one could write anything? Or people sign a little card? For my other many pets that died there the treating vet wrote a sympathy message on the card. I'd switched from the oncologist. But so many other vets worked with and knew him. That seems so petty. Can't wait for the satisfaction survey, especially since they all supposedly cared so much to call and try to pressure me onto euthanizing him daily before I was ready to and while he was still eating and drinking and so affectionate with me. And took him off the pain meds that helped the best because of the opiate crisis in this country. Like the cat was a heroin addict, or I was. I never used more than was prescribed and actually gave him less than was prescribed.
What's bad is he died on a Monday which would have been the birthday of my deceased mom. Even worse I suddenly lost my job with absolutely no warning at literally 5 o clock the Friday before. It would have been so nice to take advantage of this unemployment time, unplanned and stressful as it is, to spend every second with Inky in his last days living at the hospital or home if he had been stable enough. But no, Saturday I had to move my ancient horse to a new place because she was injured at the old place and the woman who owned the place was getting more and more unstable and threatening after having her own losses and family issues a few months ago. So that was a whole day away from Inky. But I spent 2 hours feeding and hugging him that night after I moved the horse. Sunday I was so exhausted and sore from all the lifting I only spent an hour with him but he ate for me. I could tell he wanted me to stay longer but I thought I'd have all the time in the world to spend with him starting the next day and told him. But he basically died before I got there.
Now I've been staying home all day grieving and crying or caring for my dog and other cats. I can't afford to do that I need to find another job but have been too sad and worried about the other pets. I've gone to the dog park daily to get my dog to play and be happy but gave been so worried about my depressed other cats and really need to work and stop being lazy.
Inky easily cost $30,000 or more thank God he had pet insurance which covered most of it but I still have to pay some plus my last job had lots of driving which caused wear and tear on my car and expensive car repairs plus my other pets had medical issues with copays too. So lots of credit card debt plus basic expenses to pay. I need to stop being depressed and get back to work asap.
 
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inkysmom

Inky's legacy - Belly rubs CAN tame feral cats!
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Margret I'm so sorry about the loss of your Pretzel. I'm glad you got to keep him at home. I did that with another cat that my mom and I raised who had metastasized cancer in her lungs. For two weeks I had a hospice vet come to give her comfort meds and I handfed her treats and human cans of tuna fish and baby food and monitored her breathing. The day she wouldn't eat anything at all and hid more and her breathing was worse I had the vet come and euthanize her on my bed with me holding her and her favorite cat brother cuddling against her. All the other pets got to say goodbye and it was the most peaceful pet death I've ever seen. I wish Inky could have had that but he was so sick and unstable they wouldn't let him go home and I was so afraid of him suffering in the car or at home for even a few minutes.
 

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I'm very sorry to hear that you are dealing with all these other issues while dealing with Ink's illness and now passing. I was going through that myself the last few days so I understand how stressful it all must be for you. I find that in stressful times when you have multiple stressors, it helps to tackle one thing at a time starting with the one that is most stressful. Mentally tell yourself "I will focus on only dealing with this issue for the next X amount of hours." This way you can slowly take care of life's responsibilities but at the same time reduce your stress as you solve each problem. This in turn will give you more time for your other pets and time to continue to grieve inky in your own terms (without having to deal with outside issues).

Don't let those that don't understand what Inky means to you bring you down. They just haven't reached the level of empathy, understanding and wisdom you have. They may not be bad people but they certainly don't understand that animals are all living beings that love, feel and are individually unique just like humans. Trust me when I say that we also lived like you do to cater to the needs of your pets. Our furniture, rooms and features have the house have all slowly been changed based on what Mew Mew enjoyed. Before my wife moved in, my house fit the definition of a model home as far as how I had it staged. 5 years later I don't give a damn that everything is messy, in weird positions and there are random objects all over the place. For example, if you walk into our house right now there is a huge cardboard box in the middle of the living room because we found out that Mew Mew likes to play in it at that location. Since it adds to her happiness we will let it sit there. If guests that come over don't like it then they are welcome to not come over!

I completely understand why you would end friendships over the things your friends did to your pets. I would do the same if I was in your shoes. We have been lucky in having people in our lives who respect and believe that our feelings for our Mew Mew is as strong as we say. They may not feel the same way about animals but they respect the fact that we do. Maybe you can ask your less understand family and friends to do the same. Meaning they may not care for your pets but they may care about how you feel about them.

For example, my wife didn't even have to ask for the days off for her work. When she told me that all her managers at her work are the type that would see Mew Mew as "just a cat" and to "get over it" I gave her the same advice I just gave you. This is because her managers actually like my wife and care for her. So when she showed up to work visibility distraught and upset; they asked her what was going on. When she explained HOW SHE FELT about our cat being sick they felt horrible for her. Despite the fact that they couldn't care less about our cat, they were sad that my wife was feeling all this hurt. So they offered her days off. This is despite the fact that they really need her at work and it was a last minute thing. What I'm saying is that even if your family and friends don't care for animals, they care about you. Well at least your true friends and devoted family members anyway. So if you explain to them how depressed they make you when they make these remarks about your pets; they may stop out of respect for you.
 

kskatt

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Maybe your vet clinic will do what mine did, they sent a really nice sympathy card, with everybody's signature. I want to share this, as clear as I could get, with such a large grouping. Anyway, here is best, people you can communicate with on a personal level. But, know that pet loss has been becoming way more understood within the last decade.
 

kskatt

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Let me try it this way. This is probably a very small sample of books. I can't afford all of them. I started out with books about the grief of losing a pet, and about the Rainbow Bridge, and animals in heaven. Then on the afterlife, religious or not. I hope that if I can fully believe my babies live on, that would give me peace. Still working on it. Now hospice, how to get through the time you spend trying so hard, yet knowing you are waiting for the day you have to kill them. Sorry, right now that's how it feels.
I just want you to know, it's growing. I'm looking for support groups, kinda like being here. Not all the books are cats, but most of them are.
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