I lost my little one. 06/05/2000-27/02/2015

elisabethch

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I haven't posted here much. I wish I had. I wish I could have told everyone in the world what a wonderful little cat she was.


We were told she was dying in late November, and that she might just have days left.

Our brave little darling was set on proving the vets wrong and spent two months eating herself back to health, and receiving more cuddles and love than ever before, which is really saying something as she was a spoiled cat to begin with.

Sadly, it was not to be. She started having seizures, and once on medication it started going downhill. She didn't have to live through more seizures, but we could tell she wasn't getting any better.

Took her in because her paws swelled a little, and were told nothing more could be done.

We decided to have a home euthanasia, which I am thankful for. She was scared of the vet.

We tried to make her last days special. Fed her all the things she wasn't allowed to have before, and she enjoyed the constant pampering, although we could tell she was tired. 
She spent an abnormal amount of time going over everything in our apartment, sniffing every little thing and going into rooms she normally didn't go in to. She also wanted to go outside a lot, which was unusal for her this time of year. 

I know it probably isn't so, but I got the feeling she was saying goodbye to the things she loved.
The weather forecast said it was going to be foggy and rainy all week, but by some miracle the sun came out in her final four hours. (It's been raining ever since...)

She got to enjoy the sun on her body one last time, and she sunbathed while we groomed and talked to her. She curled up like in the photo to make herself cute for us. She would get so excited every time we oooh'ed and awwww'ed over her.

Then she just rested until the vet got here.

She passed very peacefully. After the vet administered the first shot she rested her head on my hand and fell asleep. 

She needed very little of the lethal injection before her heart stopped.

She was a wonderful and strange little creature. She had so many whims. So much love to give, but only to a selected few. I feel honored to have been one of those selected few.

I'll love her forever and treasure every moment I got to spend with her.

Godspeed, little one. Know that you were loved and know that we will miss you.

Thank you for everything, little face, and rest in peace.
 

catconcern

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I'm so sorry reading that made me very sad and brought back memories. So lucky to have extra months with your baby.

Rip
 

loopycann

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What a wonderful cat mom you must have been.You obviously have a special gift for connecting with your little one and most likely you bond with all your kitty's, past and present.When you are feeling better please consider sharing that gift to a little one that's scared,tired of life,or just needing an angel such as yourself? You will not be replacing this one,only coming to the aid of another struggling feral,unwanted family pet,shelter cat on 'the row ' or a senior cat that has lost their loved one through their owner passing away.I can feel your pain through your words and know that people that really loved their little one so very deep are the ones who feel pain so very deep on the little ones passing.My thought are truly with you angel.Im hoping you know she will alway be with you.God Bless you.And that not just a saying,I truly mean it.:alright:
 
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jcat

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I'm very sorry for your loss. She may very well have sensed the end was near and was saying good-bye. One TCS member called making those last few weeks or days very special "Love and Cheese Danish", because one of her dogs loved cheese Danish and got to eat his fill when his time was running out. Your girl must have enjoyed the pampering.

RIP, little one. :rbheart:
 

di and bob

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My heart breaks every time I read a tribute such as yours, so full of love and anguish and pain. I know the tremendous loss it is in your life, the emptiness and loneliness when that special angel leaves us for the Rainbow Bridge. You spent almost 15 years together, a lifetime of love and devotion that will be forever locked in your heart and your memories. Please remember that brave little girl would never want you to remember her with such sadness, she would want you to treasure the time you had together and hold on to the legacy of her love until you are able to pass that love on to another, to celebrate what you had together and to bring that love into the future, not dwell on the painful end. I'm so sorry for your loss, know I will pray that sweet little girl made it safely to the Bridge, where she will comfort you from afar in your dreams. RIP sweet little girl!
 

mnm

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aww..I'm so sorry.... I am so thankful it was peaceful in the end...we did that as well at home, and I couldn't have asked for a more peaceful and loving transition. (hugs)
 

riley1

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I am so sorry for your loss & glad you had a quiet ending at home.  They do know & try to say goodby.  Two months before I had to put him to sleep, my baby started pulling at the bed covers & sleeping under them right next to my heart.  In the eight years we were together he never got under the covers. I hope you can find comfort in the love you shared.
 
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elisabethch

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Thank you all of you for your replies.

I just couldn't stand the thought of coming in here until now, but know that each comment is greatly appreciated. 

We've put the urn with ashes in the window, her favourite spot because it has a clear view of the yard and the tree where we hang bird food. 

Parts of me still can't believe she's gone. She was there through my parents divorce, my first boyfriend, first heartbreak... We grew up together and it feels hard having to live on without her.

I'm trying not to read too much about what might have been wrong with her. The vets said there were no hope, so I guess I just have to trust that and try to find peace. 

It's strange how such small little creatures can have such an enormous impacts on our lives, isn't it?
 
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elisabethch

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I am so sorry for your loss & glad you had a quiet ending at home.  They do know & try to say goodby.  Two months before I had to put him to sleep, my baby started pulling at the bed covers & sleeping under them right next to my heart.  In the eight years we were together he never got under the covers. I hope you can find comfort in the love you shared.
Strangely enough, our cat started laying on our laps right before she got the diagnosis, and she wasn't much of a lap-cat. She'd sleep on my lap for hours, until my legs got numb. 

I'm very sorry to hear about your cat. I hope the last few months were nice.
 

castle cat

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I cannot find proper words or expressions to convey my sadness and sorrow about your loss. Elizabeth, be brave and remember your little one is with you. I'm keeping my fingers crossed about my Jethro (he's from Halden!). 
 
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elisabethch

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What a pretty girl.  I'm so sorry for your loss and for my belated response.  I only noticed your thread tonight...
Thank you so much. Yes, she was beautiful. I miss her little face every day <3
 

pharber-murphy

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What a sweetheart she was! You must have enjoyed your life together very much. I am very sad for your loss. And I have to say that she doesn't look unhappy in the later pictures your posted. In fact, she looks quite happy and at peace. But now you know for sure that she is happy and healthy across the bridge, waiting for your time to reunite. In the meantime, don't second-guess what you did or didn't do - it won't help you at all and will tarnish your beautiful memories of precious little girl.

Wishing you peace and happy memories.

Best regards.
 
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