- Joined
- Aug 12, 2019
- Messages
- 7
- Purraise
- 19
I haven't posted in a while...so forgive me.
6/16/2021 I lost my baby boy Smokey. Smokey was the baby brother of Momo, who I shared here as well when he passed. I had a horrible experience prior to Smokey's passing.
Long story short, I promised Smokey I would cremate and bring him home with his brother...sadly, it didn't go that way. Savings was short, which I didn't know until too late when trying to pay for the CBC and such for Smokey. The female doctor made me feel like it was my fault for Smokey's issues due to him eating dry food. I was crushed. The head owner came in and after many phone calls, I found help to get Smokey to Rainbow Bridge. If I didn't pay, they would take him from me...I couldn't...not after almost 10 years. The head owner told me he was on a path to a pancreatic attack, just like Momo...so I was devastated even more. I asked what happens when an animal is left after passing, what I was told gave me horrible images. So for the first time in my life, I buried my baby. I am so upset still...I couldn't keep my promise...all I was able to keep of it at all, was that he wasn't alone, and placed the ashes of his brother and my other fur babies with him. He was gently wrapped in one of his favorite blankets with the ashes and toys in his arms and beside him. Covered and right now I am trying to raise funds for a proper setup for him and the others.
Its been 2 days and the painful cries come in waves...at times I feel somewhat normal, sometimes I feel like nothing has changed, times where its unreal and then eventually it hits me and I break. I worked a lot when I lost my first 2 boys, now, I am a stay at home Mom and with no work...I am struggling so hard to process the days as they go by. I feel like I don't know how to grieve, how to do anything and I am scared doing anything like reading, gaming, walking etc its as if its disregarding his passing. I'm just so lost in how to handle other than visiting every morning before breakfast and throughout the day, to talk to him, and miss him..
Below is my baby boy and one of him and Momo of whom I shared a few years back.. if anyone has any advice etc...please share as I am so lost in how to handle his passing.
6/16/2021 I lost my baby boy Smokey. Smokey was the baby brother of Momo, who I shared here as well when he passed. I had a horrible experience prior to Smokey's passing.
Long story short, I promised Smokey I would cremate and bring him home with his brother...sadly, it didn't go that way. Savings was short, which I didn't know until too late when trying to pay for the CBC and such for Smokey. The female doctor made me feel like it was my fault for Smokey's issues due to him eating dry food. I was crushed. The head owner came in and after many phone calls, I found help to get Smokey to Rainbow Bridge. If I didn't pay, they would take him from me...I couldn't...not after almost 10 years. The head owner told me he was on a path to a pancreatic attack, just like Momo...so I was devastated even more. I asked what happens when an animal is left after passing, what I was told gave me horrible images. So for the first time in my life, I buried my baby. I am so upset still...I couldn't keep my promise...all I was able to keep of it at all, was that he wasn't alone, and placed the ashes of his brother and my other fur babies with him. He was gently wrapped in one of his favorite blankets with the ashes and toys in his arms and beside him. Covered and right now I am trying to raise funds for a proper setup for him and the others.
Its been 2 days and the painful cries come in waves...at times I feel somewhat normal, sometimes I feel like nothing has changed, times where its unreal and then eventually it hits me and I break. I worked a lot when I lost my first 2 boys, now, I am a stay at home Mom and with no work...I am struggling so hard to process the days as they go by. I feel like I don't know how to grieve, how to do anything and I am scared doing anything like reading, gaming, walking etc its as if its disregarding his passing. I'm just so lost in how to handle other than visiting every morning before breakfast and throughout the day, to talk to him, and miss him..
Below is my baby boy and one of him and Momo of whom I shared a few years back.. if anyone has any advice etc...please share as I am so lost in how to handle his passing.