I Have More Trust Issues Than This Feral..

[pearl99]

Well, it is done.
Charlie and I are ready for bed and Finn is nowhere to be found. That's been happening for the last few nights - Finn won't sleep with us any longer. I've gotten up and prowled the house in the middle of the night looking for him, and I'm not sure where he goes, but it's not with us. What does this mean, I wonder?

Yay for this assessment being done! No, school not done but that chunk is .

I only have my experience with cats, have found they can change what they do, Waffles doesn't sleep with me much any more since during the summer- I thought he would return when the weather turned cold but he hasn't. I haven't found him in the house but he's entertaining himself somewhere and found a new favorite sleep spot. That gives me more sleep time with Mooshoo since he used to kick her to a corner of the bed though .
Maybe he's giving Charlie more Mom time.
Until I got things set up better I would spend every other night sleeping in the basement bedroom (alternating sleeping with Gracie and then the other two) and Waffles was right there, so I think he just likes the basement at night.
I'm glad things have settled down some!

 

[pearl99]

Charlie and I are ready for bed and Finn is nowhere to be found. That's been happening for the last few nights - Finn won't sleep with us any longer. I've gotten up and prowled the house in the middle of the night looking for him, and I'm not sure where he goes, but it's not with us. What does this mean, I wonder?

I also meant to add that during the daytime if I'm sitting on the couch or chair Waffles is usually beside me for scratchies and to nap. Also if I take a nap on the couch same thing! It seems he's changed when he snuggles. Maybe they just change routine.

 

[Jcatbird]

I glad I’m not a pest throwing two cents at you! Duck!
He was young in that photo. Not a year from what I can tell. Maybe he is about year and a half now? The vet estimate is good. You still have a teenager by cat standards and you will want that silly tiff later. Lol I act like a kid when I get my older ones to be silly again. My three and four year olds still play but only Kodiak is wild in her play most of the time. She will be three in Spring. Even old Dolly can get a wild hair. Lol It a rare hair though. Banjo plays a lot but was never wild due to having to hide so much coming up. Each kitty is different. Whistle is male and plays a bit more like a kitten. All I can say is to try and enjoy the crazy jumps while you have them. Like children, we turn around and they are all grown up before we know where the time went. Of course, they run us ragged before that. They are training us. Hang in there. It really does settle in time. Finn couldn’t be free to have kitten times until you rescued him so he has to make up for lost leaps and bounds.

 

[pearl99]

I glad I’m not a pest throwing two cents at you! Duck!

Too funny. I don't know a lot but when I chime in it gives me a chance to talk about my kitties (or brag...)

 

[Jcatbird]

Too funny. I don't know a lot but when I chime in it gives me a chance to talk about my kitties (or brag...)

I think you do know a lot. It’s our combined input that counts the most, because we all have different experiences to relate. Win, win!

Besides, if she throws the two cents back, I have a better chance to run if there are two of us! Duck!

I’m all for bragging about kitties! You should!

 

[Buffster7]

You guys, I passed! That scary skill assessment, I passed! I have one exam left to take tomorrow, then I will be done with school and on to clinicals. The relief is immense. I was up very late last night finishing a research project then up early for a school function, so I'm taking an afternoon siesta before getting stuck into studying, and enjoying a really sweet moment with the boys. They've been doing great since I've been leaving them alone when I leave again. Go figure!

It was a rough few days a couple days ago. Finn was back to being a handful, continuing to go for Charlie and scratch my furniture, and then he put some deep gauges into a desk that I just love. There were moments I felt at my wits and and was having thoughts of regret, for sure. And yet here we are, having a very sweet and special moment of quiet celebration (well, I'm quietly celebrating while Charlie naps and Finn watches him longingly), and all feels right in my world at the moment:

Jcatbird you are right, Finn still has a lot of kitten in him! Kind of like a kid who grew up on the street; they're so tough and street-smart that you forget they're just a babe. I have to remind myself that after living outside fending for himself, being cooped up inside still has to be challenging. I forget how he used to prowl the house incessantly - look how far he's come from that! And right now, in our sweet little quiet moment, he reminds me of what a kitten he is...stalking his own tail!

 

[Buffster7]

Too funny. I don't know a lot but when I chime in it gives me a chance to talk about my kitties (or brag...)

Yesss on the chance to talk about kitties - and speaking of which, how is Gracie doing??

 

[Furballsmom]

You are awesome, he's come such a long way, for sure and that video was wonderful!!

 

[Jcatbird]

Melting!!!!!! Those two! Get that wiggle tail Finn! Just don’t bite too hard cuz it bites back and you’ll feel it! I love it when the kitten inside shows. Thrasher, after all she went through, was playing inside her box today. The blanket draped over it wiggles and she Pounce’s on it and then chases her tail. It continued for about twenty minutes. These are the times they give us an extra reward. I love the look on Finn’s face.

You
Passed!
Congratulations! I am not surprised!

 

[pearl99]

Yesss on the chance to talk about kitties - and speaking of which, how is Gracie doing??

Great pictures and videos! Moo has done that tail thing and it cracks me up.
Congrats on passing to clinicals! Load off your mind .
Gracie is doing good. Had labs and pee and poo testing and all is normal. .
Things are going slowly with introductions, all of them are shy, and it's small steps but progress. I'm using the crate that you also had. I love that I can wheel Gracie around here and there while she's in it!
She sleeps a lot, but is getting more active. All of them sleep a lot in the afternoons and in the last few days I've let her out when Waffles is in the basement and Moo is upstairs, she goes for the cubby in the cat tower and Moo can observe her, creep up for a closer look etc. Today Gracie woke up and jumped to the floor with Moo watching, Gracie walked around the house- Moo watched, she still hisses about half the time when Gracie's close but there is no sign of aggression in any of them. A couple of times Gracie has reached to swat at Moo, I can't tell if it's for play or a warning. Moo is quite curious but not ready for nose greetings or things like that yet. Waffles watches from his cat cave shaped like a pineapple and when she's contained he'll walk by her looking. If she's out he stays put in a safe spot.
They will play and eat near each other with Gracie behind the stacked gates or in the crate.
They are real cautious with each other. That's fine, better than fighting! But things are progressing.
So li'l piggie Moo I caught reaching in the crate for Gracie's food! She gets the food to the bottom, brings it to the side of the crate to get it out of the crate, silly thing. Had to put the food higher.
I alternate who sleeps with me. I hear Gracie, either in the main floor or in the basement running around in the night. She's a night owl!
So, time! A few pictures:

Gracie exploring:

Moo watching Gracie:

Waffles watching from his pineapple:

Waffles and Gracie:

 

[rubysmama]

You guys, I passed! That scary skill assessment, I passed!

And yet here we are, having a very sweet and special moment of quiet celebration (well, I'm quietly celebrating while Charlie naps and Finn watches him longingly), and all feels right in my world at the moment:

Beautiful.

 

[Buffster7]

the last few days I've let her out when Waffles is in the basement and Moo is upstairs, she goes for the cubby in the cat tower and Moo can observe her, creep up for a closer look etc.

I'm loving this update!! I know time has flown by, probably more time than I'm aware of, but this seems like a lot of progress! I love that they're cautious rather than going for full-on contact...hopefully there won't be extreme squabbling in your future? Gracie seems awfully brave, though, with exploring the house and swatting. This will be really interesting to me to watch play out.

So li'l piggie Moo I caught reaching in the crate for Gracie's food! She gets the food to the bottom, brings it to the side of the crate to get it out of the crate, silly thing. Had to put the food higher.

Yes, the food dishes were such a problem for me with that cage! I also ended putting them on the second shelf, but had to push them to the far corner so Finn could use the rest of the shelf as a springboard to the top shelf. I know they make detachable food dishes that you can attach to the bars of the cage; I didn't want to spend the money on what I knew was a temporary situation.

What have you seen as far as personality with Grace - is she going to be your bold one? I remain a little amazed by 'cat people' and the tenacity and patience everyone shows through this integration process. It is certainly a process!

 

[pearl99]

I'm loving this update!! I know time has flown by, probably more time than I'm aware of, but this seems like a lot of progress! I love that they're cautious rather than going for full-on contact...hopefully there won't be extreme squabbling in your future? Gracie seems awfully brave, though, with exploring the house and swatting. This will be really interesting to me to watch play out.

Yes, the food dishes were such a problem for me with that cage! I also ended putting them on the second shelf, but had to push them to the far corner so Finn could use the rest of the shelf as a springboard to the top shelf. I know they make detachable food dishes that you can attach to the bars of the cage; I didn't want to spend the money on what I knew was a temporary situation.

What have you seen as far as personality with Grace - is she going to be your bold one? I remain a little amazed by 'cat people' and the tenacity and patience everyone shows through this integration process. It is certainly a process!

I adopted her on November 13th so exactly a month!
Gracie's personality is mostly shy, but she shows signs of boldness; she's also not totally used to Moofles yet (Mooshoo and Waffles) so not totally sure. It took her a bit to confidently walk up to me when I'm walking toward her, but that's good now. I think with strangers she will hide. Like the others. But she doesn't seem afraid of Moofles. I can pick her up without her being afraid now.
When she wants out of a room or the crate she's a little jailbreaker! Tries everything with force to escape!
She's a total grazer so I've ordered the microchip feeder. Lordy, we spend money on our kitties. Moo will eat all her food otherwise. I've read all about them and someone on the forum here uses it and is pleased. Hopefully it works as it should.
I'm getting her off the dry food Science Diet the shelter fed, she wouldn't eat what I feed Moo and Waffs but she likes Merrick (I feed dry and wet.) So, the others will change too.
It is a process! But I'm so glad no aggression so far. It took 4-5 months for Waffles to adjust to Moo- she was a 3 month old kitten- so I'm thinking he will take a while with an adult.
I'm so encouraged by your guys! Love your updates.
I'll put some updates in periodically. Not to hijack your thread, and they won't likely be as long as the above one

 

[foxxycat]

Just wanted to tell you thank you for this thread. I have a new cat who keeps chasing resident cat and now resident cat is SCARED...I have an interview with a lady to possibly rehome Lilah-I don't think I will-but I like to make connections because I have someone else who has a cat that hates other cats/dogs so I am thinking about persuading her to take that cat instead of Lilah-plus in my older years, I am learning it's best to network and do interviews for future use=plus I may need someone to watch Lilah when I go on vacation and maybe she could do this job for me next summer-I am discouraged by how mean new kitty is to my cat-usually it's the other way around..
I am on page 10 but wanted to leave a short note=keep up the good work!

Oh Sunday will be week 11. I feel like we have gone such a snails pace and my significant other has fallen in love with new kitty-and if I decide to keep her=he can have his own kitty as my cat sleeps on me or she used to before this stressful change...lately she only stays on me for 2 hours..

 

[rubysmama]

foxxycat : glad you made it here. You may not find answers to your situation, but at least you'll see you're not alone in your cat introduction struggles. Here's foxxycat 's thread, btw, if anyone wants to read about her cats and/or give her support: Lilah the poophead kitty

 

[foxxycat]

<SNIP>

I'm afraid you didn't misinterpret my post. I expect hisses and swats during introductions. Maybe a tussle. But if Finn inflicts wounds on Charlie by being vicious, I honestly don't think I could get past that. If I didn't have Charlie, I would have no qualms with working with a behavioral issue, but I'm not going to bring another cat into the house and make Charlie's existence a living nightmare - he's fearful enough. We are not there yet, so I won't put energy there now. But I'm reading an exploring all of your tips and will do everything in my power to avoid ever being there. This is Charlie at this very moment - this is the life I've given him and that he's now accustomed to:

THIS. Is. EXACTLY. How, I FEEL! (inflict wounds is my BIGGEST FEAR!)

 

[foxxycat]

I am sitting in here with him trying to back off suggested. It's hard as he is determined to touch and headbutt, but I am trying to acknowledge him and then move aside and work on my computer. He is restless and keeps getting up to look out the window. I think the outdoors is beckoning him. I've played with the wand and the dancer, and honestly there are a couple times the hair on my neck raised because he was looking at my feet/legs like he was going to pounce. Sometimes he will jump up on the bed and the way he will look at me gives me goosebumps. I hate to admit it but I'm a little afraid of him. Hopefully that will subside if we can get a few 'visits' without bites under our belt.

However, I have to say that your stories have helped me tremendously - knowing that some aggressive-acting cats that you guys have worked with have turned out okay. Thanks to @shadowsrescue and Jcatbird for suggesting to back off. Do let me know if I'm doing the wrong thing by ignoring his advances. So far it has circumvented any bites this visit.

*Edited to add: I received the Composure Max. I tried it on both the boys, but only used 1/4 tsp. It knocks Charlie out cold - he sawed logs like nobody's business both times I tried it with him. It doesn't do a thing to the little guy, and he's half Charlie's size! I may increase the dose a bit for him.

I ordered some of this stuff in treats=gonna try it on Lilah see if it stops her from chasing Bee.

 

[foxxycat]

Ooops, I forgot about Finn having the URI. Do wait until he is no longer contagious. Sorry about that. I would think once he's done with medication he would be ok. It usually takes 7-14 days.

My feral was ok in his room. He grew to really like it. He had a condo and a window to look outside. Once used to inside living, he was happy to see me visit and have some play time. He would meow at times and really wanted out. The composure liquid max really helped him to settle.

I did have a harder time getting him back to his room. I could pick him up, but had to hold him away from my body as he would squirm so much. It was always funny getting him back to his room. Sometimes he would come when I shook the treat bag and other times we had to coral him.

He used his safe room for one solid year. He was out much of the day time after a few months, but at night he wanted in his room. He let us know when he was ready for 24/7 out and about.

He is now the sweetest cat I have. I think back to what a challenge he was at first and realize what a dramatic shift he made. It look quite awhile and lots of baby steps, but he did it!

Lilah is like this=spends 80% of her time in her room-Bee doesn't seem to mind=we take turns sleeping in the living room so Bee isn't alone. I noticed Lilah doesn't walk in the middle of the rooms yet=she sticks to the outter walls and under furniture-like she's scared..but she will eat her food in the dining room ok. Bee won't eat out of those dishes-we feed Bee on the puzzle table-she likes the kibble spread out on the table-the things we do for our cats!

 

[Buffster7]

Just wanted to tell you thank you for this thread. I have a new cat who keeps chasing resident cat and now resident cat is SCARED...I have an interview with a lady to possibly rehome Lilah-I don't think I will-but I like to make connections because I have someone else who has a cat that hates other cats/dogs so I am thinking about persuading her to take that cat instead of Lilah-plus in my older years, I am learning it's best to network and do interviews for future use=plus I may need someone to watch Lilah when I go on vacation and maybe she could do this job for me next summer-I am discouraged by how mean new kitty is to my cat-usually it's the other way around..
I am on page 10 but wanted to leave a short note=keep up the good work!

Oh Sunday will be week 11. I feel like we have gone such a snails pace and my significant other has fallen in love with new kitty-and if I decide to keep her=he can have his own kitty as my cat sleeps on me or she used to before this stressful change...lately she only stays on me for 2 hours..

Hi foxxycat ! I just hopped over to your thread and scanned through it with interest. I have literally just finished finals and my brain does not want to focus much on anything at the moment so I couldn't read as thoroughly as I normally would - but I just want to tell you that I feel your angst and frustration! 11 weeks feels like SUCH a long time when you're in the midst of the stress of integrating the cats. When I first took Finn in, I honestly anticipated a couple months of work integrating them - had I known it would take 6 months and counting, I may not have done it, lol. I have had plentiful moments of regret when the tension was running high. However, there was just something inside me that told me it would be worth it in the long run if I stuck it out. 11 weeks really isn't that long in the cat-scheme of things - not enough to tell yet how successful this venture of yours could be.

My 'new' young one has been a HANDFUL, but I'm beginning to see progress that fills me with hope. And it's been about 6 months now, I think. Have you tried CBD oil for your guys? I know that it's expensive, but a bottle will last forever. I didn't think that I noticed much difference with it, then decided that I was going to save it just for Charlie (my 8 year old kitty) and stopped giving it to Finn since I saw no change. Well, recently when Finn was being a real pill, I thought about that and added it back in. I don't know if it's related, but he's mellowed out again. The things that I still use and that I've noticed have made a difference with the cats is Compusure Max liquid, Bach's remedies, and CBD oil.

Is your Bee truly afraid of Lilah? I have a bottle of something I can send you if that is the case. I had ordered Jackson Galaxy's trio - it came with Safe Space, Peacemaker, and Self-Esteem. The Self-Esteem is for the cat that's being picked on, supposed to help them stand up for themselves. Neither of my guys have that issue, they're both alpha, so I never needed to open that one. Let me know if you think Bee needs to stand up for herself and can benefit, and I'll gladly send it to you; if not, I will safe it for someone else who does need it. But I really do think these calming remedies have made a difference.

And Jcatbird is SO RIGHT - the cats definitely pick up on our stress. I've been finishing up school in a program that is really intense, so have been under a tremendous amount of pressure. I took my very last final tonight, and the weight lifted off my shoulders was immense. Now, the cats don't know this, but I called my best friend to let her know "it's done!" and started cooking dinner with a spring in my step. I was really struck by the way Finn got almost giddy on the furniture - he does zoomies sometimes and he can be playful, but this was a different kind of giddy. I don't think I've seen him act quite this giddy before - super playful! I honestly think he was responding to my lighter mood and my happiness, and a human being would not have been able to pick up on that just based off the way I looked. So yes, you're feeling a lot of stress, a lot of anxiety over wanting to do the right thing for Bee, worry about the fate of Lilah...and the cats are most certainly picking up on it.

Hang in there - don't give up, yet! Let me post a pic of my view right at this very moment:

They're not touching yet, but they're getting closer...

 

[Buffster7]

I adopted her on November 13th so exactly a month!

She's a total grazer so I've ordered the microchip feeder. Lordy, we spend money on our kitties.

I'll put some updates in periodically. Not to hijack your thread, and they won't likely be as long as the above one

Oh my goodness, it hasn't been that long at all!! Your guys are doing great! I tried to go back and find your original post today to refresh my memory on Gracie's story, and I got sidetracked by the microchip feeder post. I'm so interested to hear how that works out for you. I haven't decided what I'm going to do about the feeding issue, but that microchip feeder looks promising. I'm wondering if another kitty could come squeeze in beside them and eat out of it at the same time? I look forward to hearing what you think.
And please, please please DO hijack the thread - please!! I love to see the pics and hear your updates - and I do love hearing how others' experiences go. This whole integration thing is such a crazy process! I would assume I will probably be a 'cat person' for life now - what is it my cousin says - "once you go cat, you never go back'? So I tuck all this knowledge away for future reference.