I Have More Trust Issues Than This Feral..

pearl99

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Yep what above people said.
My two cents is adjustment period. I've sometimes put the new cat in a room for a bit for one on one time/extra attention with the resident. When you can with your school schedule. I think extra attention is good.
I don't think it was a huge mistake to let Charlie in Finn's room alone.
I'm a wake up slow person too. Got to have the coffee.
 

Buffster7

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Last night went well! I woke up with both cats on different sides again. Had a heckuva time getting them into bed last night; Charlie refused and stayed on the floor. Finn seemed to instinctively know what the problem was, so he jumped down from the bed to the floor and waited. Charlie eventually jumped up with much coaxing, And Finn soon followed.

I just ordered the Feandrea cat tree so Finn can have a place to retreat to. I chose the identical one to Charlie's - I was too nervous about the height of the King Cat Tree without a prominent enough shelf to step down that's close to the floor. I read reviews that stated the same thing. I hope they fix this issue, because those cat trees are gorgeous and great quality. If you go directly to their site, they're priced less than Amazon and Wayfair.

Now about that Ripple Rug. I want my guest bedroom back - I need to get all the cat stuff out of it as soon as they're fully integrated. Will that Ripple Rug forever cause problems now that Finn's claimed it? Is there a way to bring it into the main living area without causing strife? If I make it disappear for a while, will it be like a 'new' toy when it finally reappears, or do cats remember territory like that?
 

Talien

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Now about that Ripple Rug. I want my guest bedroom back - I need to get all the cat stuff out of it as soon as they're fully integrated. Will that Ripple Rug forever cause problems now that Finn's claimed it? Is there a way to bring it into the main living area without causing strife? If I make it disappear for a while, will it be like a 'new' toy when it finally reappears, or do cats remember territory like that?
Why not get a second one? In my experience Cats are less likely to get testy about another Cat touching their stuff if there's more just like it. One of my Cats has a favorite toy, a stuffed Rat, and she would get aggressive if one of my other Cats played with it, but after I got 2 more she stopped caring.
 

Buffster7

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Why not get a second one? In my experience Cats are less likely to get testy about another Cat touching their stuff if there's more just like it. One of my Cats has a favorite toy, a stuffed Rat, and she would get aggressive if one of my other Cats played with it, but after I got 2 more she stopped caring.
That is actually a great idea, and I may have to do it in the future; I just don't have the room for another Ripple Rug (they take up a fair amount of floor space) and don't want to spend another $40 right now. My house is beginning to look like Cat Fantasyland and I'm just the housekeeping crew. ;)

I've now made Finn's room off-limits to both of them and have closed the door for today. I have work I need to get done and Finn's constantly wanting in and out, and when I let him out Charlie sneaks in which makes Finn irate.
It feels as though Charlie is intentionally trying to aggravate Finn. Do cats do this? This implies a certain level of reasoning - to figure out exactly what annoys the other cat and to specifically do that one thing? But Charlie will push past Finn the minute I open the gate to let Finn out, and he'll go drape himself on top of the Ripple Rug (and I removed it this morning and put it away, so he went and draped himself over Finn's scratching pad) and turns and looks at Finn.

So I broke out the calming collar again. It does work, but I don't like to use it. Charlie constantly tries to lick it. I don't *think* his tongue can reach it, but if it can, and it has essential oils in it, would that be enough to harm his liver? I definitely notice less altercation between them when he has it on, though.
 

pearl99

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I've now made Finn's room off-limits to both of them and have closed the door for today. I have work I need to get done and Finn's constantly wanting in and out, and when I let him out Charlie sneaks in which makes Finn irate.
It feels as though Charlie is intentionally trying to aggravate Finn. Do cats do this? This implies a certain level of reasoning - to figure out exactly what annoys the other cat and to specifically do that one thing? But Charlie will push past Finn the minute I open the gate to let Finn out, and he'll go drape himself on top of the Ripple Rug (and I removed it this morning and put it away, so he went and draped himself over Finn's scratching pad) and turns and looks at Finn.
No, they don't do something to annoy (like humans do... ;)) they go by cat instinct. It sounds to me like Charlie is putting his scent on heavily Finn scented things. Totally the territory thing. Glad it wasn't spraying :yess:. He probably immediately wants in there since it smells so strongly of Finn.
Yay for a second night going well!
I think the Ripple Rug will be like a new toy when it comes out. I doubt Finn's scent will disappear though.
That squirrel video is so cute! Waffles scratches on the window like that when he's sitting at the living room window.
 

Buffster7

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No, they don't do something to annoy (like humans do... ;)) they go by cat instinct. It sounds to me like Charlie is putting his scent on heavily Finn scented things. Totally the territory thing.
That's so interesting! So as far as Charlie is concerned in regards to Finn...What's mine is mine, what's yours is mine, and while we're at it, YOU are mine" type thing?

It's amazing to me how much Charlie HAS shared with Finn. He shared HIS prize toy (his cube that he likes to hide in) and actually taught Finn how to play. So this tells me there's a part of him that likes having Finn around. But yes, there's still some territorial stuff going on. I wonder if I should get my baby monitor set up in my bedroom tonight to see what happens when I go to sleep? :lol: I'd like to know how they end up switching sides at night! Friendly or claiming territory?

Although tonight Finn jumped up on the bed close to where Charlie was laying, and he gingerly settled down. Charlie allowed it. My heart leapt! :hearthrob: (And yes, my sweaters are a mess in the armoire because the cats have discovered that they can burrow down and hide behind them.)
bedbuddies.jpg
 

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I think they are doing great. The squirrel video cracked me up! Finn was darling but the look Charlie kept giving you......:flail:
Kind of,”Mom! What’s he doing? Tell him noise will make the squirrel leave! Make him stop. This is a feral?”

I wouldn’t worry too much about the Ripple rug or the sleeping debates. No wounds right? Finn understood Charlie had first rights over entering the bed. Lol They are working things out. Hopefully the monitor may ease your concerns though.
Charlie probably feels he can share his toys because they carry his scent. The ripple rug may become shared territory when it returns but Charlie may still want to scent mark. That’s kind of the whole deal with going in the room. Alpha is in charge of everything. :lol:I’m always kind of kidding that the kitties own the world here but to them, they do. The give me credit for providing Mom love but they also want to be in charge of me at times. Lol Mackie demonstrates this the most. Very demanding of bedtime routines.
By the way, your house is now a cat amusement park, no matter what. You should see mine!:doh:
 

Buffster7

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I think they are doing great. The squirrel video cracked me up! Finn was darling but the look Charlie kept giving you......:flail:
Kind of,”Mom! What’s he doing? Tell him noise will make the squirrel leave! Make him stop. This is a feral?”

I wouldn’t worry too much about the Ripple rug or the sleeping debates. No wounds right? Finn understood Charlie had first rights over entering the bed. Lol They are working things out. Hopefully the monitor may ease your concerns though.
Charlie probably feels he can share his toys because they carry his scent. The ripple rug may become shared territory when it returns but Charlie may still want to scent mark. That’s kind of the whole deal with going in the room. Alpha is in charge of everything. :lol:I’m always kind of kidding that the kitties own the world here but to them, they do. The give me credit for providing Mom love but they also want to be in charge of me at times. Lol Mackie demonstrates this the most. Very demanding of bedtime routines.
By the way, your house is now a cat amusement park, no matter what. You should see mine!:doh:
Okay, then I will let the Alpha do his thing and sort things out. *snort* We all know I'll butt in the minute they look like they're getting out of hand, but I'm trying.

You're right, they really ARE doing so good! Tonight I was looking for them on my baby monitor. I saw a lump in the low light on the chaise, but it was a funny-looking lump. I made a noise while watching my monitor to see if the lump moved - and two sets of eyes reflected!! They were laying together on the chaise while I was in my room! This makes me SO happy!

Not sure when my first try of leaving them alone should be? It would definitely need to be in the afternoon once they've mellowed. I have to be gone for 3 hours tomorrow afternoon. Is that too long to try to leave them alone? Then Thursday morning I have to be gone for a couple hours, but I don't dare leave them alone in a morning just yet. I'm eager to try because I have to be gone a lot next week and if they're not ready to be together, Finn will be shut in his room all day every day - this is my light week. Yet I don't want to do anything that will negate the progress we've made by rushing it. I have left the house for short periods of time - like to go talk to a neighbor or to putz around outside, but never for more than 15 minutes at a time. Do you think they're ready for an afternoon alone?
 

pearl99

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That's so interesting! So as far as Charlie is concerned in regards to Finn...What's mine is mine, what's yours is mine, and while we're at it, YOU are mine" type thing?

View attachment 307534
You got it! Everything Charlie's :agree:. Too funny.
Such a sweet picture. Finn gingerly settling down is really cool. Moo does that with Waffles, she knows who's boss.
That would be fun to see what goes on at night. I think mine get up to get a drink, look out the windows, trip to the litterbox, check the house, run around. At least when my daugter lived here she would hear Waffles about 3-4AM with the zoomies.
These guys are doing so well and you've done so great with them!
 

Jcatbird

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Lump! Two sets of eyes! :lol:
Three hours...... hmmmm. Since I don’t know all the details it’s a bit hard to gauge but they may actually be fine. In fact, you are one less thing to own. Lol Are you going to worry while you’re gone? Maybe if you will, you could ask the neighbor to look in the window? Lol I think they’ll be okay though. One more of those judgement calls. Maybe watching the monitor of the night could be a deciding factor. That’s a time when you are sort of out of the process and you can see what they decide to do. Paws crossed!
 

Buffster7

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I set up the camera in my room last night to see what went on, but it didn't detect any movement, so it didn't record. And Charlie wasn't in bed with us when I turned out the light but he was in bed this morning, so I just don't think that this particular camera is very good at picking up movement, and the recordings it does get are garbage. It's really only good for monitoring what's going on in the moment, apparently.

I'll see how they do today and decide, feel out the vibes between them. Fortunately it'll be after lunch that I need to leave, which is ideal.I did hear some growling yesterday, but I think it was Charlie warning Finn to settle down when Charlie would do zoomies and they'd chase each other around the house, and Finn would get too close or something. I never had to go investigate or intervene, and they kept playing. Last time I had to go putz around outside, they were both sitting pretty close together facing the door when I came back in, kind of waiting in solidarity type thing. So I'm hopeful!
 

Buffster7

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Well, I left the little punks home together this afternoon when I ran to school and they are still alive. Wouldn't you know it, I checked my camera the whole time I was gone and they were nowhere to be found! They stayed out of the rooms with a camera the WHOLE time, so I have no idea how they did. Got caught in traffic and was gone nearly 4 hours. When I got home Charlie was kind of nonplussed and Finn was acting a little insecure, but I didn't see any tufts of fur around!

When I was eating dinner and Finn tried to climb on my tray, I lifted my can of compressed air (I don't have to spray it, he knows what it is; when he sees it he backs away immediately), and where did he run for comfort? He pressed butt-to-butt with Charlie, and Charlie allowed it:

Bootytobooty.jpg


And then a few seconds later, they both started grooming themselves. Good sign?

Now tonight there's a lot of hunting/chasing going on. I just heard Charlie yelp and then growling. They're stalking each other; it's playful but it's sounding sketchy. Trying to stay out of it. :paperbag: Still, this day feels like a little victory!!
 

Jcatbird

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You’ve totally got this. Of course, they’ve got you too. :lol: Stayed out of monitor range! Naturally! I know you must have felt a bit antsy to get home but they did fine. The thing of Finn running to Charlie after you raised the air can nearly left me laughing in the floor. He knows Charlie has his back now.:yess: I love the look Finn gave you in the video. He looks very happy! It’s all great news!
 

Buffster7

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No, Finn's sundowning has greatly lessened! He still does it, but probably about 15% of the time he used to do it before. And I do think it's tied to anxiety - he will do it if Charlie and he get in a tussle and Charlie is after him.

Now, about Charlie. He is acting so much more standoffish. You can see how far he is sitting from me on the bed. There was a time when he sat up right against me. Last night it was a victory that he was just on the bed. I don't even know if he slept with us last night - I could not get him to come to bed and eventually gave up and turned the lights out and went to sleep. My solution to the mornings has been to feed Finn in my room and close the door; he goes back to bed (watched him on the monitor). Charlie and I sit in front of the fireplace and wake up slowly with coffee. This morning Charlie isn't even sitting with me. Why so standoffish? Is he protesting the addition of Finn to the bedroom? Will he eventually go back to normal? Or has our interaction forever changed?
 

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That was a great update from yesterday afternoon! No tufts of fur is definitely good. And them grooming together sounds good as well. And I think that might have something to do with Charlie's interaction with you. I've read before of someone getting a new cat, and the 2 cats hitting it off really well, but the original cat no longer being as clingy to the human. So that might be happening with Charlie.
 
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