I have lost my Ziggy

[catmom2wires]

There might be a few who remember me. I was active years back, but haven’t posted in a long time.

I lost my youngest kitty, Ziggy, on Wednesday, June 2, 2021. He was 14. He is the kitty in my avatar.

Ziggy’s death is impossibly difficult for me, as it was unexpected. While we have been struggling for years with respiratory issues and more recently with severe constipation and megacolon, I thought that his sudden poor appetite was just a picky phase that cats sometimes have. On Tuesday, Ziggy suddenly couldn’t walk well, so I rushed him to the vet, where he spent the day.

Tests revealed Ziggy was severely anemic. He was treated with fluids and a B12 shot and instructions to have more testing next week. However, on Wednesday it was clear that Ziggy was terribly unwell, and he seemed to not want to be “here” anymore.

A call to a trusted vet tech friend of mine gave me the answers and courage I needed to let Ziggy go. She said that there was likely nothing anyone could do to make an appreciable difference, based on the lab results I read her. She then quietly added, “I think he’s done.”

I then went through an ordeal finding a vet to help me give Ziggy his release. The vet from Tuesday did not, and still hasn’t, returned my calls for help on Wednesday morning. A mobile vet said she could come to my house “in a few minutes” but I was not ready. I needed an hour or two to say goodbye. Eventually I went to another practice who knew me, and we were able to help Ziggy transition.

Ziggy was so weak. The vet who helped us said that Ziggy showed strong signs of liver failure. A belly full of fluid and yellowing of his mucus membranes. What was obvious to him was missed by me, as the changes had been somewhat gradual. I held my precious boy in my arms, whispered to him how much I loved him, and then heard the sudden silencing of the purr that never stopped, no matter how sick he felt. Ziggy was gone

I am left shattered, and my feelings are getting stronger as the hours pass. I want Ziggy back! I am just now absorbing the fact that he was so sick, and that he is never coming back. I am shocked by feelings of resentment that my other two cats are still here enjoying life, despite being older than Ziggy. I also resent that they are not HIM.

Ziggy, oh how I miss you. Don’t ever think you ever brought me anything less than pure joy. You did “cat” perfectly, and I was so lucky to have known you from the very first day of your life until the last.

Thanks for listening, everyone.

Carla

 

[neely]

I'm so sorry for your loss. My heartfelt sympathies go out to you on the loss of Ziggy. You helped ease his pain so that he is no longer suffering but I know it hurts. Ziggy is now running and playing at the Bridge with all our other cats who have passed. RIP sweet angel.

 

[Maria Bayote]

I am very sorry for your loss. I know it is difficult. Imagine having him for 14 years and then gone.

There are no right words to console a grieving heart, but i just hope and pray in all sincerity that you pass through this storm well and soon.

Sending you my heartfelt hugs and prayers. Hang in there.

 

[Tik cat's mum]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Like Maria Bayote said there are no words that can be said. But so many of us have had those feelings that come with losing our fur babies. Ziggy will be in good company at the bridge.

 

[Mia6]

I am so very sorry about your Ziggy. He is at peace now at the Bridge, met by so many of our babies.
He is in good hands. Now it's time for you to grieve, cry all you want. and in time your pain will lessen

Love,
Mia

 

[di and bob]

First, I want to say that the emotions you are going through are all perfectly normal, the anger, the guilt, the resentment of other cats, the feelings of overwhelming emptiness, the huge hole left in your life. We have all been there, and are here to assure you that it DOES get better. Though it takes a long time and then some more. There is no easy, time-saving way to work through grieving. You will go through a huge range of emotions and when you think there is some hope, go through them again. This is YOUR love, YOUR loss. It is unique and known only to you. No one in this whole world shared the love you did with that precious boy, and no one will feel the loss as you do. This makes us feel alone and hopeless. But you are not alone, we here have felt what you are feeling with our own losses and can empathize with what you are going through. For many of us, a way to cope with our own feelings is to try to help others cope with theirs. to try to lighten the load, because we understand how life-changing and utterly overwhelming it can be in someone's life.
There WILL come a day, for some in months, for others years, that your heart will heal enough to let you live again, to open your heart once more, and to finally breathe. It seems impossible right now, but the horrible hole left in your world will slowly heal, day by day, month by month, year by year. For me, it was finally the realization that my precious little one loved life so much that she would NEVER want me to spend the rest of mine in such pain. That just like me if I was the first to go, she would want me to cherish the memories we made, and to share that love with others to help it to grow even stronger. Like a mother's love for each and every child, each love is special and as unique as a snowflake. It can never be replaced, it is spiritual, so eternal. Let the love of those other special little ones in your life help you to realize how very special life can be, to cherish each and every moment that we are alive, and to finally learn to live in the moment, just as cats do. Let their presence bring you comfort in the routine of caring for them. for them just being there. We cannot change the past, no matter how much we want to, we cannot see into the future. But we can get through each and every day, hurting but getting stronger, knowing our loved ones are as close as our thoughts and prayers, knowing that one day we will be so thankful for having them in our lives and knowing such great and powerful love. A beautiful gift that life gives us, and something that is a part of our very soul.
My heart goes out to you. My thoughts and prayers are with you all. Take care of yourself, be gentle with yourself. And just take one day at a time.......RIP dear Ziggy. You will never be forgotten, you will have a secure place in a loving heart for eternity. May the good Lord bless and keep you, until you meet again!

 

[betsygee]

Oh, Ziggy, sweet boy. My heart breaks for you. It's the hardest thing in the world to know there's nothing we can do for our beloved fur companions and accept that we have to let them go. I'm so very sorry.

Rest in peace, little Ziggy.

 

[catmom2wires]

Thank all of you for taking the time to write me such supportive messages. They mean the world to me.

I am not new to the world of pet loss, but it has been 4 years since my dogs passed, and I had known for a long time with both of them that they would be going. Ziggy’s loss has hit me like a ton of bricks. He was my “heart cat.”

I am taking di and bob’s advice, and just appreciating my two other kitties. It does soothe me to give them love and care. Both of them are grieving as well, so we need each other.

Again, thank you for the support.
Carla

 

[John Perram]

I'm so sorry for the loss of Ziggy. 14 years is a long life for your friend. Hang in there, only time well heal the wounds and soften the pain.

 

[red dog]

I'm sorry for your loss, try remembering all the good times you had, god bless.

 

[stephanietx]

It's been awhile since I've seen your name! I'm so very sorry to read that your Ziggy has passed. It's so very difficult when they leave us.

PS--My Tumbles is still doing well. Thank you for saving him.

 

[catmom2wires]

Hi Stephanie!
Thank you for the kind words. The loss of Ziggy has left a huge void, for sure.

I received his remains a few weeks back.
I am so glad to read that Tumbles is still doing well. I think about him, and that rescue every so often. He is a very lucky boy!

 

[catmom2wires]

It’s been six months already since I lost my Ziggy. It still seems like yesterday. My heart is still broken.

 

[Margot Lane]

He is so grateful to you in that photo…KNOWS you did all you could. You can feel his warm heart through his pure & open eyes. It is OK to still grieve, communicate. I hope for you (and believe) that eventually the sadness will lessen and like panning for gold you’ll sift out the nuggets of purely golden good memories. Like a warm hug he is still there with you, and would want you to remember what you loved most about him, with joy & purrs.

 

[di and bob]

It will hurt for a long, long time. But grief's sharp edge will dull over time and your soul will yearn for you to enter life once more. Immerse yourself in life and those who are still with you, your Ziggy is safe and at peace because he carries your love for eternity. Just take one step at a time, one day at a time......