- Joined
- Jul 21, 2018
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I don't understand.
My Tony was perfectly fine. He was a good weight, active, eating well, playful, etc. Then, yesterday I woke up and he wouldn't eat. He kept hovering above his water dish trying to drink but he was unable to. He was walking like he was drunk and he was super lethargic and not at all alert. I rushed him to the emergency vet and they did blood work. Apparently his kidneys were failing. The vet said his kidney values, creatinine, etc were absolutely terrible and it was likely end stage. She said she could hospitalize him and try fluids to see if he responds, but that it might give him weeks, his belly was painful when he checked it, and there was no guarantee the fluids would even work. I decided to have him euthanized and I held him during the whole thing. He went peacefully. I can't stand the guilt. I keep thinking about a few things.
My Tony was perfectly fine. He was a good weight, active, eating well, playful, etc. Then, yesterday I woke up and he wouldn't eat. He kept hovering above his water dish trying to drink but he was unable to. He was walking like he was drunk and he was super lethargic and not at all alert. I rushed him to the emergency vet and they did blood work. Apparently his kidneys were failing. The vet said his kidney values, creatinine, etc were absolutely terrible and it was likely end stage. She said she could hospitalize him and try fluids to see if he responds, but that it might give him weeks, his belly was painful when he checked it, and there was no guarantee the fluids would even work. I decided to have him euthanized and I held him during the whole thing. He went peacefully. I can't stand the guilt. I keep thinking about a few things.
- I didn't notice any symptoms. Were there symptoms? My spouse says no, but I can't help thinking I missed something. My other cat has cancer but is doing very well. I spend a lot of time caring for her. Maybe I wasn't being attentive enough and Tony was showing me he wasn't well and I didn't notice it? The vet said cats sometimes don't show symptoms until it's severe, but I can't help thinking "what if". What if I had caught it sooner?
- I feel guilty for choosing to put him down. I have plenty of money for tests, hospitalizations, medication, etc. I made the decision because the vet said he might not respond and that it might not give him much more time. Also, he was in pain and it made me worry that his time left would have been miserable. I feel awful and like I should have at least tried. My other cat with cancer is still doing well and isn't in any pain and I didn't choose to euthanize her when we found out about the cancer. I could have tried and the fact that I didn't kept me up last night.