I had to say goodbye to my soul mate, euthanasia process was traumatizing and I'm devastated

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catxlady

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She'll keep walking by your side and stay with you forever, until one day you will meet her again, never to part.
Thanks for your words, this made me tear up (in a good way). I really hope we meet again :redheartpump:

It's been almost 3 weeks since your original post, catxlady. I am wondering how you are doing today?
Thank you for checking in and for your message. Tomorrow will mark 4 full weeks without her, I believe this is the longest I've been apart from her. I've been trying to keep myself busy during the day but I'm having really bad insomnia and there are some days where the pain is as bad as during the first week. The other night I started ugly crying and couldn't stop, I really miss having her by my side, she was such a wonderful companion. Thanks for sharing your experience, I'm sure some day I'll be able to focus more on the good times but I still can't comprehend how fast everything happened.. I know it could have been worst or even more abrupt than it was, I guess we're never ready.
I really hope your Oscar is well and you are able to treat whatever he has, sending good vibes your way :hugs:
 

Meowmee

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I am so sorry for your loss of Nati. You did the best thing for her to let her go. Large cell lymphoma has a very poor prognosis even with treatments and you stopped her suffering. The hard thing is it is still painful for us no matter what we do of course. We second guess, go over every detail. It is part of grief. But try not to hold it inside, write down your thoughts, talk to others who are also grieving. I used to keep a journal to my cat who passed very very traumatically, then after him I added the others. I will say I have never been the same after that. Dvm caused his death. It helped.

I am going through the hardest thing ever for me now which is the loss of a family member with malfeasance. The pain is in unbearable and I have been through so much grief already but I could never have imagined the pain of this loss although I feared it in advance just as a normal loss.

For my kitties I was fortunate in that the euthanization was peaceful mostly. They put in an iv first, injected the sedation, then the last shot and off they went. But with Wizardu he cried a bit to get the iv in, so I comforted him. But his was still the most peaceful. He hugged me and purred while we waited. I don’t think he was in terrible pain. But with Tess they let me hold her while she went which felt better. He had lymphoma as well.

I hate having to go to dvm office for it though because I feel an invasion of privacy and there are a bunch of strangers mostly etc. But none of the home dvm are ever available when you need them for it. Also that could be weird as well because your kitties may not like strangers in the house etc. There is no perfection in these things. After what I have seen with people I hope I keel over when I die and that is it, lol.
 
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