I had to give my Kitten away to someone i fear is untrustworthy

SnowbabySuperCat

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Less than an hour ago an adopter that my neighbor said wanted a kitten came by and upon immediate inspection of the person i immediately feared for my kittens life. The Only thing going that keeps ringing in my head, is that moment when i handed the adopter the carrier and they exclaimed "i was nursing a kitten and it died on my ass." I feel guilty and sick, as if i just willingly sent my kitten into a possible neglect or abuse home, the adopter also had a young boy, and having been a young boy myself, i know just how violent children can be to animals when nobody is looking. Especially defenseless babys.

When the person came back to deliver me back the carrier, they said my kitten hissed and they had to pick him up with a blanket out of the carrier.

People i am so worried dear God why
 

fionasmom

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Get the cat back from them if you can. You might try the approach that if the kitten is too unruly or too much to handle you will gladly rehome it. If money was exchanged, refund it. Lots of people try out animal ownership on cats because they can be more easily discarded than a dog and in the eyes of some have less value. People figure they can take care of themselves if they get out and it goes on from there.

Adoption rules: always follow your instinct, always ask for some compensation because you fed the animal and possibly even gave it vet care ( this will stop the less sincere in most cases), always have a list of questions or requirements.

I am not criticizing you because you may have a kitten situation where you need to get them adopted out quickly...but try to get this one back.
 
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SnowbabySuperCat

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Get the cat back from them if you can. You might try the approach that if the kitten is too unruly or too much to handle you will gladly rehome it. If money was exchanged, refund it. Lots of people try out animal ownership on cats because they can be more easily discarded than a dog and in the eyes of some have less value. People figure they can take care of themselves if they get out and it goes on from there.

Adoption rules: always follow your instinct, always ask for some compensation because you fed the animal and possibly even gave it vet care ( this will stop the less sincere in most cases), always have a list of questions or requirements.

I am not criticizing you because you may have a kitten situation where you need to get them adopted out quickly...but try to get this one back.
Thank you, i really needed somebody to help me here. Yeah, i wanted to say something but i couldn't bring myself to say anything, i just kept thinking "it's all perception, this will be a great home!" But i knew all along this wasn't the right thing, i need to talk to my neighbor and ask her where that person lives so i can drop by, maybe daily and see how my little baby is doing, we're all in the same complex i think, so it's in distance. I need to monitor this starting tomorrow.

There was one reassuring thing my neighbor said though- that she was "spoiling" her other kitten. So maybe this adopter is somewhat trustworthy, i just can't stop thinking about my baby... I should've just gave all of them to a no kill shelter. Our satan manager will evict us if she finds out we have kittens even 1 so adopting these angels are number 1 priority, but getting evicted means nothing compared to living breathing life.
 

fionasmom

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Since you are close, you can just act as if you are a very conscientious person who wants to give support to the new adopter and probably get any information that you need that way. If you have to make a decision, you will then at least have some proof either way as to what it should be based on. I assumed that there was a reason that you had to try to find homes quickly.

If you have the mother cat, or access to the mother, get her fixed asap.
 
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SnowbabySuperCat

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Since you are close, you can just act as if you are a very conscientious person who wants to give support to the new adopter and probably get any information that you need that way. If you have to make a decision, you will then at least have some proof either way as to what it should be based on. I assumed that there was a reason that you had to try to find homes quickly.

If you have the mother cat, or access to the mother, get her fixed asap.
Thank you for the secondary reply, i confronted the person today confidentially and asked them some questions. All i the information that was given is that snowbaby was under their couch and wasn't coming out. I really, REALLY want to try and rationalise this as much as i possibly could but everything is telling me that snowbaby is probably terrified and won't ever come out. It's been 1 whole day since I've given him to them, so if he has really been under the couch for and entire day that means he hasn't eaten or been hydrated. I'm probably wrong but dear GOD i am shaking just thinking about it. I'm so worried, i finally got there apartment location from our neighbour who is friend's with this person, she reassured me that this person loves cats and i don't have to worry, but all that's going through my head is "i was nursing a kitten and it died on my ass" over and over and over again. My dad came up with the brilliant idea of buying some kitten food for this person and have that be a reason as to show up to their doorstep, and use that as the reason to ask to take a look at my baby. I don't want this person to feel like I'm stalking them too. I've been knocking on their door for a minute every hour periodically since 2 30 pm it's almost 8 and nobody will answer, and the thing that frightens me most is i think they are there but just won't answer the door, i ended up thinking it was the wrong door one hour ago and ended up knocking on there neighbors door and they offered to deliver the food to them, so now I'm going to be going by to make sure they got the kitten food as an excuse to see my kitten but still, nobody will answer. I really don't want them to feel like I'm constantly trying to bother them but i need to know how my kitty is doing. What do i do? If they refuse to answer the door there is nothing i can do, i could confront them outside but i don't want this person to feel like I'm stalking them and avoid me. What do i do? I should've never EVER gave snowbaby away if only it was up to me...
 
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SnowbabySuperCat

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Thank you for the secondary reply, i confronted the person today confidentially and asked them some questions. All i the information that was given is that snowbaby was under their couch and wasn't coming out. I really, REALLY want to try and rationalise this as much as i possibly could but everything is telling me that snowbaby is probably terrified and won't ever come out. It's been 1 whole day since I've given him to them, so if he has really been under the couch for and entire day that means he hasn't eaten or been hydrated. I'm probably wrong but dear GOD i am shaking just thinking about it. I'm so worried, i finally got there apartment location from our neighbour who is friend's with this person, she reassured me that this person loves cats and i don't have to worry, but all that's going through my head is "i was nursing a kitten and it died on my ass" over and over and over again. My dad came up with the brilliant idea of buying some kitten food for this person and have that be a reason as to show up to their doorstep, and use that as the reason to ask to take a look at my baby. I don't want this person to feel like I'm stalking them too. I've been knocking on their door for a minute every hour periodically since 2 30 pm it's almost 8 and nobody will answer, and the thing that frightens me most is i think they are there but just won't answer the door, i ended up thinking it was the wrong door one hour ago and ended up knocking on there neighbors door and they offered to deliver the food to them, so now I'm going to be going by to make sure they got the kitten food as an excuse to see my kitten but still, nobody will answer. I really don't want them to feel like I'm constantly trying to bother them but i need to know how my kitty is doing. What do i do? If they refuse to answer the door there is nothing i can do, i could confront them outside but i don't want this person to feel like I'm stalking them and avoid me. What do i do? I should've never EVER gave snowbaby away if only it was up to me...
Coincidentally i meant
 

fionasmom

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Your dad's idea is a good one and I have used that myself and, in fact, am using it now with a TNRed feral who lives in an alley behind some apartments...the being helpful angle. Don't go over too much though or they might not be as receptive. Your concern that the cat is not eating or drinking is justified. It may be that if Snowbaby is not receptive to these people that they might give her back to you or you may be able to lead up to suggesting that you can take her off their hands if she is not the kitten that they expected. I have used that angle as well and it is sometimes surprising at how quickly people will decide to hand the animal over.
 

Mer.kitten

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Stop ragionalizing and go get that kitten back. Dont worry about being "rude", dont worry about any of that. A kittens life is at stake. Say you judt found out its sibling or mom has ringworm and youre worried the kitten has it too, but say this when youre IN THE HOME, and dont leave unless you have the kitten with you bc they soumd like the kind of people who would judt throw it out if it had a problem. Email/call/text or jist show up, once youre inside say "im so sorry, we just found out her sibling (or mom, whatever) has ringworm, its highly contagious, i feel so bad. This is my fault, ill take her back and bring her to the vet and cover the treatment, and when she's well i'll bring her back". TELL them this, dont ask. Maybe verrrry subtly (dont make it obvious) itch your arm when you walk in (not when youre talking about the ringworm). Bring a carrier and act like this is a done deal. Get that baby out of there and home safe.

Let us know how it goes.
 
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