I Finally Took Two Of My Strays To A Rescue Organization. Now I'm Really Sad And Depressed. Help!

ezwriter

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I live in San Antonio, Texas, which is a TERRIBLE city as far as resources for strays, no-kill shelters, rescue and foster organizations, etc. The no-kill shelters are always almost all full. To get a cat into the Humane Society you have to get there somewhere around midnight to 2AM to ensure that you're first or second in line, and wait all night until intake starts at about 10AM. I kid you not...8 to 10 hours of waiting with no sleep, and they only intake on Mondays and Fridays, and half the time they tell you they're not taking any cats that day, and you and your cats waited in line all night for nothing. It's atrocious.

I recently found a place to take two of the friendly strays I've been taking care of.

One of the strays is a calico, named Petunia, born about a year and a half ago to a feral mother I feed. She was one of a litter of 4. The other 3 just disappeared suddenly, but Petunia managed to survive and hang around. I got her fixed and vaxed and was looking after her.

The other is a black male cat, Jack, who I've been taking care of for about 4 years, since he was about 6 months old and followed me home. I grew VERY attached to him, and I believe him to me. I couldn't set foot outside without him following me everywhere I went, and whenever he heard my car pull up, he would come running to greet me. I loved him just like I love my own cats. I already had 5 cats in a 1-bedroom apartment, and they are hostile to other cats. I did try to integrate Jack into the household, but my cats just were not having it. I was pretty new to being a cat owner at that time and I know I made some mistakes, but I'm not sure anything could have been done to get them to get along. In any case, what's done is done, and there was no way Jack was going to be able to become a full-time member of the family. So, I just took care of him the best I could outside.

I tried a few times to find him a home, but nothing ever panned out. I'd heard so many stories about black cats languishing for a long time in shelters, and add to that the fact that he was no longer a kitten, and I convinced myself that getting him into a shelter was probably not a good idea...even though I'd made a promise to him that I would one day find him a family.

So recently a number of things all converged at once that together convinced me that it was time for Jack (and Petunia) to find a real home. Recently Jack got injured, he got some sort of open sore on his paw and was limping around. It healed up, but this is something that wouldn't have happened had he been living indoors. Another stray from another area of the apartment complex recently started hanging around...an intact male...and he started bullying Jack a little. So Jack would want to come inside, and then he would get bullied by MY cats, and it's like there was just no respite for him. And he started showing up covered in burrs. And then we got new apartment managers, and you never know when new management comes in, what their attitudes towards stray cats will be. (We had one manager in the past that had Animal Control out every week, rounding up all the cats and dogs running around). And finally, this summer has been a really hot one, and I saw Jack panting a lot and somewhat struggling with the heat.

So I started to think that Jack really wasn't living his best life, and I made the decision to take Jack and Petunia to this rescue organization. Petunia went first, because she was already up-to-date on her shots. And this past Sunday I took Jack. And now I'm second guessing myself and I feel awful about what I've done. I feel like I've betrayed them, especially Jack. And I really miss Jack.

To make things worse, the organization runs out of Petsmart, so of course I've been going almost every day to see them, and that just depresses me to see them in their little enclosures. They were both very active outdoor cats with tons of personality, running around and rolling in the dirt, and now they both just seem shut down and sad. And I see other customers showing a lot of interest in some of the other cats (especially the kittens, of course), but none in Petunia or Jack. And I just feel terrible. Maybe he wasn't living his best life, but it was the life he was used to, and now he's stuck in a small enclosure at Petsmart, with nowhere to go and nothing to do. (I don't mean to trash the organization; they are wonderful and are doing the best they can, but cages and enclosures are part of what comes with the territory of rescuing cats.) I avoided this for years partly because I just couldn't bear the thought of Jack being confined for a long period...and now my fear is that he's going to be stuck there for weeks or even months.

I really hope it turns out to be the right decision. Once they do get adopted I'll feel better about it, but until then...it's just really hard!

(This pic is Jack!)
69648423_10216690616312583_3919811566370816000_n.jpg
 
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Kieka

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You did the right thing.

It's going to be uncomfortable for a little and they are going to have to adapt to their new life. But they will have a life. One where they will be safe and live a long life. Strays tend to die young as they slow down or catch an illness. In their new homes they won't have to worry about staying ahead of predators or fighting with other cats. It will be better. Just like when we humans have to move for a better opportunity; the moving process itself isn't always easy or pleasant but we do it because we know it will be better.
 
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ezwriter

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Thank you. I guess that's just what I need to hear. In my brain I know it's the right thing to do, but my heart is struggling with it.
I've gotten a few cats rescued before, but I've never had to say goodbye to one that I was so deeply attached to.
 

fionasmom

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I have also found that when people are rounding up cats and dogs for the purpose of getting rid of them they do not necessarily care if they get the pets as well. What you are going through is just heartbreaking but you are doing the best thing for Petunia and Jack. Can you politely keep tabs on their progress with the rescue group and encourage them to promote them?
 

kittychick

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I'm so glad you came here and told your story about Jack and Petunia. I think by sharing your story it does wonderful double duty - - hopefully you'll see that many of us believe you did the right (albeit SO hard) thing, AND telling their story can help others feel that they're not alone in their worries about similar situations and hopefully they can benefit from the positive thoughts and advice you'll get here. :grouphug2:

First I'll say Jack is ADORABLE. And next I want you to know that I truly empathize with your situation. I've TNR'd alot (our suburban neighborhoodhad a big feral colony - and alot of people who were willing to do very nasty things to "those d*!% cats"). During a particularly nasty neighbor time, we ended up bringing one little girl inside. And 4 now call our garage/yard home. Hubby and I are VERY attached to these guys - - your description of running for you when your car pulls up made me tear up, as ours do now too. We wish we could bring all 4 inside, but various reasons make that almost impossible. We have a discussion virtually weekly about should we take them to the no-kill shelter we volunteer for. Like you - many reasons make us hesitate. Including b/c one's black, one that wouldn't let us pet him until this summer (4 years after we TNR'd him!!!!!) and one's quite a "curvy girl." And every week the conversation ends with "let's talk about it next week - - right now everyone's healthy and happy, so we'll think about it later." So you can see I truly know how you feel!!!

I TRULY do believe you did the right thing in both of their cases. Starting with all of the care and love you've given them (including the fixing and shots), which made their lives better, safer, and very likely much longer! And you'd researched your options (most no-kill shelters are always filled to overflowing - I've yet to volunteer or work for one that didn't have at least a 4 month waiting period), and it does sound like they went to an organization that they'll be safe with, where they can even be seen at Pet Smart (does the shelter also have a physical shelter - so that cats are rotated in and out of Pet Smart? Just curious) - which would obviously have alot of foot traffic.

I do think you've got some great suggestions already. I'd definitely talk to someone at the organization and ask if they could let you know when they're adopted? Alot of shelters are happy to do that - since so many people just dump their cats at shelters, so they're thrilled that someone cares and wants to make sure they've gotten a happy home! I know the PetSmarts here that adopt out have sheets with info on the kitties. If there isn't much written about Petunia and Jack, ask if you can write a little something extra about them on their info sheet. Anything that really explains their story and gives someone looking at them more about their personality will help draw a potential adopter in!

I'd also get the word out on your social media about them. Take a few good pictures, and write a little story, playing up their little quirks and sweet things, and emphasizing how they really need and deserve someone loving to give them a home beyond their cage. Send that out to through your social media and ask people to share like crazy! Getting the word out even further on them can go a long way toward getting them a home more quickly!

And do know that - I know it's SO hard right now, but in getting them to where they are, the short term is tough for them (and you) - but they WILL find homes. And then they'll have even safer, longer lives where I'm sure they'll be deeply loved. And you'll rest alot easier every night knowing they're safe and loved in forever homes!
 

kittychick

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Hope you're hanging in there! Definitely come back and keep us all updated - - I've got my fingers and toes crossed that your furry ones find wonderful homes ASAP!

I realized I forgot one more tip that we've done when trying to get some of our fosters and socialized ferals - and on more than one occasion, it's made a difference in whether they were able to be adopted into a new forever home, or stay longer at the shelter (nothing against our shelter!). In the flyers we share on social media (and emails!) with our friends - if someone's interested in them, but paying what's usually a fairly high adoption fee is tough for them at the moment (obviously they need to be able to afford their care - vet visits, food, etc), we offer to help on the adoption fee. Not that we're made of money by ANY means! But if a cat/kitten we've bonded with through fostering, etc. is having a tough time being placed, sometimes the fact that the potential adopter sees that the kitty/kitties are obviously wonderful enough to have truly touched OUR hearts as fosters and/or it relieves a little of the burden of a lump sum at that moment. We've covered anywhere from half the fee to just $25.....but it's often made the difference.

I know it's not something everyone can do - - we certainly can't alot of the time - - but when we can, it's often made a big difference. And as my hubby says, the peace of mind knowing they're in a loving home is sometimes worth that bit of cash! We actually have an old boss of mine who, in reading the heart-tugging story of one of our foster litters I emailed out - - she couldn't adopt, but she promised to us that, if needed, she'd pay half the adoption fee (anonymously) for any fosters we have if it will help them get a loving home more quickly. How amazing is that!

So reach out - - a well-told story (with pics if possible!) of how they came to you and why you had to finally make the gut-wrenching decision you did can make the difference between someone being touched enough to adopt one of your little sweeties vs going to a shelter and picking out another kitty. Your kitties and you (with your need to get them to a shelter) have heart-tugging story that can hopefully touch the heart of just the right person!!!!!!
 
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ezwriter

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Great news!

I just got a text from Jack's new owner! He has been officially adopted!

She even sent me a picture of him in his new digs, and he looks great.

She seems very smitten with him. She said the moment they made eye contact that was it. And she called him "the man of the house" and described him as "quite kind and well mannered" (ha! if she only knew what a total little turd he was before he was neutered!)

He spent 2 weeks in that little cage, but hopefully it will all be worth it and he will live a long, happy life being loved and spoiled!

But even though I'm super happy for him, it still doesn't stop me from missing him. When I pull up in my car and he's not there waiting for me, I still get a little twinge of sadness. I went to see him on Saturday (actually I was dropping off a 5-month old kitten my upstairs neighbor had been fostering, but didn't want to keep), and I got to hold him a little bit and pet him, and when I put him back in the cage, he was rubbing his head up against my fingers through the cage, and it broke my heart to leave him there.

So the news 2 days later that he's found a forever home is just just what I needed to hear.

Unfortunately, Petunia is still waiting to be adopted, and she's been in stray cat jail for just over 3 weeks now. Poor baby, she's such a beautiful little calico, so sweet and friendly. I wasn't quite as attached to her as I was to Jack, but I miss her as well and I'm crossing my fingers that her human finds her very soon.
 

Catzmeow

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Wow! Great news for Jack! I have recently taken in a feral black cat, Shadow, so I know they are so special. I also terribly love Calico's (my last kitty great love of my life!) so I really hope she gets a good home soon.
 

Skippyandjif

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You did the right thing, for sure!! As hard as it can be to know you won’t see the kitties around outside again, they’ll be safe and live long wonderful lives with their new families.
Oh, if I lived nearby, I’d have adopted one or both in an instant! I’m a sucker for calico and black kitties. Jack is so beautiful and I’m glad he has a home already, and I’m sure Petunia will find her person soon.
 

fionasmom

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It is very hard to foster and then give up to a good home and this aspect of it is really underplayed. What you are feeling is very normal but difficult. If you are inclined to continue to foster, you are helping so many other cats who might have missed the chance for a good home. I am so glad to hear that the adoption was successful and that he has a loving home.
 

moxiewild

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Hey, I know this is old, but I’m in the same area and I have a feeling from your post that these guys won’t be the last kitties in need you find yourself caring for, so I thought i’d inform you about a few resources you may not know about!

San Antonio does unfortunately rank among the worst cities in terms of our stray and feral cat and dog populations (i think we were top 3 in the country last I checked). We actually do have a ton of resources and more rescues than most other cities.

The problem is the irresponsible residents and the city’s admirable but (in my opinion) misguided decision to move toward being a no kill city. It means rescues rarely intake animals from private citizens because they spend all their time and resources trying to pull animals off death row at ACS. In my opinion, funds would have been far better spent focusing on spay/neuter accessibility.

But they’ve made a lot of progress by at least adopting TNR! There aren’t many other cities where you can just call your local ACS and have them come out and TNR for you! Or will return cats with clipped ears, refuse to remove them unless a serious complaint is reported, etc. The increasing feral-friendliness is very progressive.

Next time you feel like you don’t know where to turn, join these two groups on Facebook -

SOS - SATx Save Our Strays
SA Cat Rescue
(And to a lesser extent, San Antonio Cat Lovers)

These groups are made of private citizen rescuers who network to raise money, find fosters, trappers, transporters, and rescue sponsors. SOS in particular is very strict about being focused on action and even prohibits comments that do not directly contribute to problem solving or active help. Very invaluable resource to have!

Do you have an update on Petunia? Or even Jack?
 
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