I feel bad for getting only one kitten and now I think he’s lonely but I’m worried about all the changes to his lifestyle by getting another one

kattlecorn

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Sadly no luck with reddit so hopefully I get something here! Fingers crossed.

TLDR: I’m getting another kitten and my current one will probably be around a year old when that happens because I plan to get one from the same breeder and I feel bad for making him go from a kitten that had lots of playmates, to no playmates, to having to share his space with another cat. Would it be too much change for him in such a short time? It will probably be around this October. I got my current kitten in early January. He is almost 4 months old.

SIDE QUESTION IF YOU HAVE MORE TIME: I'm also in school but it's all remote right now. I have let my kitten roam in and out of the room and he was great the first day. I feed, play, and check his litter box each time but yesterday he was more hyper than usual and kept jumping on me and the desk and my laptop. I just kept putting him back on the floor. I even tried aluminum foil but he didn't seem to care at all. Would it be ok to leave him out of the room during my classes? My schedule isn't the usual 8-3 because I'm in grad school but I have one day where two classes are back to back so the longest he'd not be allowed in the room with me is about 3-4 hours. Would this be ok? I just worry because I have no other animals or people in my apartment and it's only barely been a month since he's been with me. I don't want to make him sad or feel like I don't love him because I do and this is why I finally talked to the breeder about getting another kitten from her though sadly that won't be for a while.

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Sorry in advance for the rant but here’s the back story:

I got a ragdoll almost a month ago and I’m a new fur mom in general, let alone a new kitty mom. I know everyone says it’s best to get cats in pairs but I just felt I couldn’t do it and decided to go with one because I didn’t want to overwhelm myself with all the costs upfront for two (we all know how expensive these babies are and for good reason obviously but also food, vet, etc.) and just taking care of two kittens in general because I’ve had pets before but now it would be just me taking care of them and I’ve never done that.

I know Ragdolls are super social and I’m home A LOT especially during lockdown so I didn’t think the kitten would be lonely. I only ever leave for necessities like food, picking up meds, etc. I know the breeder was a little hesitant to let him go to a home without another especially because I also don’t have other pets for him to play with but she thought was ok with it cause I’d be home a lot though she did tell me he still might get bored because he’s used to having other cats to play with and humans just can’t give cats the type of play they enjoy with other cats.

I always had the idea of getting another one in the near future but I was just so worried because I have really bad anxiety and all this was a completely new change for me and I’ve never had such a huge responsibility. My kitten is amazing but I still had some anxiety because I felt like I’d given up my old life of freedom if that makes sense? I never had anyone else to worry about and be responsible for. It was just a big adjustment for both of us and I kept thinking he deserves better than me. I still think that but at least I’m not crying about it anymore lol (I’m ridiculous, I know).

Things are better now because I think we’re getting used to each other. I give him so much love and attention and we play so much. Yesterday he seemed kind of off and of course, as a new kitty mom, I panicked but tried to stay calm. He just seemed off his own schedule. Suddenly playing harder than usual and he was playing and sleeping at different times than usual. I talked to the breeder and asked if this is because they’re going through lots of growth and I thought with intense growth comes more sleep to grow and more energy to burn but she said it has nothing to do with growth, they just have a lot of energy in general so they can get intense then will sleep a lot, more so if they’re bored.

One of my biggest worries other than health and safety of course is boredom. I never want my little love to be bored!! And so I felt awful that I dragged him away from his playmates and that feeling that maybe I shouldn’t have gotten him and let him go to a family that had other pets came back full force.

Anyway, since I was always thinking of getting a second one later on, it convinced me to put in a deposit to get on her waitlist for a second one but it won’t be for a while due to some circumstances and my kitten will probably be about a year old by then. But now I’m also worried because I feel like I’m being cruel for taking him to a home that has no other pets and making him see this is his new normal and suddenly he has to share his space with another cat.

I genuinely think he’d do better with a playmate and I do regret not getting two off the bat but I feel awful from making him go through these changes in such a short amount of time. Especially because cats hate change. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated! And if you’ve made it through this whole post, thank you so much!


 

ArtNJ

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Are you in high school or college? Because once remote ends, having two cats in a small college apartment isn't something I'd recommend.

Assuming your at home, a one year old and a new kitten, or two one year olds, have an excellent chance of being friends. However, two kittens under six months, friendship is basically guarrantied and the introduction is even easier. If you are going to wait b/c the breeder won't have another litter available until then, thats fine, it will be easy enough. Just keep in mind that the new kitten might be unhappy at times when then one year old plays a bit too roughly. Its normal and fine, but it takes a while for things to settle down and for play to start looking equal. For a while there, its like the one one year old is 7 and the younger kitten is 4, and the play is mostly head noogies and indian sunburns. No biggy at all if your heart is set on a kitten of the same breed, just saying that kitten plus kitten is even easier than kitten + 1 y.o. You kitten will be just fine being an only cat until then.

Your kitten will survive not being with you for a few hours. That said, you could eventually train him to go in a basket on your desk, at least somewhat. A lot of us just sort of move them off the keyboard a couple of times and shoo them into the basket -- you eventually get the hang of it. A nearby scratching post with a cup up top for them to sleep in would work instead of a basket.
 

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Hi and welcome!

Cats can be perfectly content on their own. Female cats especially are territorial and may not want a companion. It's been a very long time since I've had multiple cats. I'll leave it to other members to discuss the ins and outs of that.

For your current kitten, I would try to play him tired with a wand toy or a laser pointer. Or I'd put an inbox just for him on your desk next to your work. Sometimes just being close to you is all they want. Even better if that inbox is within petting reach so that he has his space next to you, he gets some pets, and he's not being ignored. When he gets older, he'll be less active and more content with being near you without always having to get your attention. But for now, this is what it's like having a kitten. If you can add a cat tree, especially by a window, toys he can play with on his own (catnip mice and kickers), and a wall mount toy like the Cat Dancer Deluxe that he can play with without you, that might burn off his kitten energy. You may also want to mimic a cat's wild routine which would be hunt, eat, groom, sleep. With you, that would be play, feed, groom, sleep.
 

maggie101

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My cat Maggie had 4 siblings she played with. Eventually she was left alone 3 months old she was playful with my cat Peaches until she got older. Then Maggie became territorial. Still playful but not Peaches. Only when she wants to play. Maggie is very attached to me. She seems upset when Coco and Peaches play together and does not like Coco taking over her territory including me so I try to give her lots of attention
Maggie has no interest in going outside.
I don't think separating her from her play mates caused her to be bored. I have always though 3's a croud. One gets left out. I want to foster but I'm worried the kitten won't pay any attention to her and make things worse. Having 2 cats will work out especially since they are young.
 
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kattlecorn

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Are you in high school or college? Because once remote ends, having two cats in a small college apartment isn't something I'd recommend.

Assuming your at home, a one year old and a new kitten, or two one year olds, have an excellent chance of being friends. However, two kittens under six months, friendship is basically guarrantied and the introduction is even easier. If you are going to wait b/c the breeder won't have another litter available until then, thats fine, it will be easy enough. Just keep in mind that the new kitten might be unhappy at times when then one year old plays a bit too roughly. Its normal and fine, but it takes a while for things to settle down and for play to start looking equal. For a while there, its like the one one year old is 7 and the younger kitten is 4, and the play is mostly head noogies and indian sunburns. No biggy at all if your heart is set on a kitten of the same breed, just saying that kitten plus kitten is even easier than kitten + 1 y.o. You kitten will be just fine being an only cat until then.

Your kitten will survive not being with you for a few hours. That said, you could eventually train him to go in a basket on your desk, at least somewhat. A lot of us just sort of move them off the keyboard a couple of times and shoo them into the basket -- you eventually get the hang of it. A nearby scratching post with a cup up top for them to sleep in would work instead of a basket.
Thanks for your reply! Sorry, I forgot to mention that I'm actually a grad student and well moved out. Not in a college dorm or anything! And I'm actually in my last semester now :)

I wanted to actually look into adopting one around his age because the breeder won't have any available for a while. It's actually not about the breed but I like that she does all the health checks and things before pickups. Not that shelters don't do this but from my research, I know some shelters aren't testing for things like FeLV/FIV anymore (sorry of my research is off but this is what I've read). I also really like how she socialized them. At the same time, I freaked out because if he's still adjusting to my apt, then I really didn't wanna be like "surprise! Here's another kitty!" lol but then on the other end like I said.... I feel bad for bringing a change when he finally gets used to it. I know introductions will probably take time when kitty now will be one, I'm just hoping he's not too upset and as you said, I hope the new kitty won't be upset when the older one plays too rough. I think I'll just keep them separated for a while and slow introductions?

But yea, I do retreat just not getting two though that wouldn't have been possible considering all spots for the litter were already taken but maybe if I had put in a deposit for two from the start it could have worked out.

Ah ok! That's great to know :) thank you so much. Some classes require us to have cameras on and when he jumps up I'm not trying to be a distraction then get called out for it (don't think my profs would but you never know lmao). And god forbid he unmutes me by accident and I don't realize until I'm talking to him in the classic baby voice and people have to tell me I'm not on mute LOL.
 
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kattlecorn

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Hi and welcome!

Cats can be perfectly content on their own. Female cats especially are territorial and may not want a companion. It's been a very long time since I've had multiple cats. I'll leave it to other members to discuss the ins and outs of that.

For your current kitten, I would try to play him tired with a wand toy or a laser pointer. Or I'd put an inbox just for him on your desk next to your work. Sometimes just being close to you is all they want. Even better if that inbox is within petting reach so that he has his space next to you, he gets some pets, and he's not being ignored. When he gets older, he'll be less active and more content with being near you without always having to get your attention. But for now, this is what it's like having a kitten. If you can add a cat tree, especially by a window, toys he can play with on his own (catnip mice and kickers), and a wall mount toy like the Cat Dancer Deluxe that he can play with without you, that might burn off his kitten energy. You may also want to mimic a cat's wild routine which would be hunt, eat, groom, sleep. With you, that would be play, feed, groom, sleep.
Hi there and thank you!! :)

Oh, that's interesting. I have heard that about females too! Now I am wondering if I was too rash putting that deposit down LOL. And yep! That's what I did on the first day of class. Our usual morning routine plus extra play so once I started my meetings, he was in and out of the room and just roaming and eventually just fell asleep somewhere after he played with the toys I left around the room. He did great. The second day just didn't go so well but kittens will be kittens I guess lol. He does have a little window perch but doesn't seem to care for it much? Guess he's still young and just wants to play mostly which is fair. I'll get him a comfy basket to put by me so he can chill there with me! He also doesn't seem to care for the cat tree either? I have such a weird one lol so I'll try moving it to that room. Maybe he doesn't like the spot it's in now. Ohhhh I'll have to try that! Right now we're at food, play, groom, sleep. I just assumed they were hungry after waking up lol. Thanks again for your help :)
 
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kattlecorn

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My cat Maggie had 4 siblings she played with. Eventually she was left alone 3 months old she was playful with my cat Peaches until she got older. Then Maggie became territorial. Still playful but not Peaches. Only when she wants to play. Maggie is very attached to me. She seems upset when Coco and Peaches play together and does not like Coco taking over her territory including me so I try to give her lots of attention
Maggie has no interest in going outside.
I don't think separating her from her play mates caused her to be bored. I have always though 3's a croud. One gets left out. I want to foster but I'm worried the kitten won't pay any attention to her and make things worse. Having 2 cats will work out especially since they are young.
Thanks for your sharing your experience! I do worry my kitten now will get territorial even though he'd only be about one when we get the new addition. Never thought about how cats would work in three's but that's something to keep in mind! I don't plan on getting more than 2. I actually didn't plan on getting more than one but thinking about how my kitty might be more without a playmate just hurt my soul lol.
 

daftcat75

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I have had two solo cats. Separately. They were both females. One of them came from a multi-cat house. But she often kept to herself. When she came to live with me, she was happy to be the only cat in the house. But she also loved her cat dad very much and spent a lot of time in my lap, on the desk, or in general anywhere I was. My last cat, my avatar kitty, she was also an only fur-child too. She was extremely social with other people. I've never met a cat who was more excited to meet strangers than this one. Any knock at the door and she would have answered it if she could. Anyone I let in was her new BFF. But when neighbor cats would come around, she would hiss and let them know that this was a single cat home. If you have a choice, you might want to get another boy cat. But if you decide not to get another kitten or cat, he'll be just fine as an only cat. Having just rescued a stray and got him placed into a rescue, I can tell you that often times cats are just happy to have food, warmth, comfort, and security. Feline companionship is not required. But they do get lonely. I wouldn't lock him out of your room.

And since you said you're a new cat mom, I will tell you it's much easier to wipe down your counters and keep your stove and sink clean of dirty dishes than to train a cat not to counter surf. Just let the cat be a cat and you'll have so many wonderful memories together instead of being aggravated by what you might call bad behavior. Discipline never works with cats. If there ever is any problematic behavior, a vet visit should be your first action to make sure he isn't acting out because of a health issue. Once he's cleared of health issues, think like a cat, figure out why it's appealing, and either remove the appeal, or provide him a more acceptable alternative. Or just post to these forums if any issues arise.
 

maggie101

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Thanks for your sharing your experience! I do worry my kitten now will get territorial even though he'd only be about one when we get the new addition. Never thought about how cats would work in three's but that's something to keep in mind! I don't plan on getting more than 2. I actually didn't plan on getting more than one but thinking about how my kitty might be more without a playmate just hurt my soul lol.
So wish I had a picture! When I just had Josie,then 12 yrs old since a kitten,I rescued a tiny 5week old kitten, Peaches. At first Josie did not like it. Soon she started grooming Peaches for a long time. It will be cute having 2 kittens. Some will adjust fast.others it will take time. I am the youngest of 2 sisters and was left. Of course all older now. Cats emotions are like peoples
 
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kattlecorn

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I have had two solo cats. Separately. They were both females. One of them came from a multi-cat house. But she often kept to herself. When she came to live with me, she was happy to be the only cat in the house. But she also loved her cat dad very much and spent a lot of time in my lap, on the desk, or in general anywhere I was. My last cat, my avatar kitty, she was also an only fur-child too. She was extremely social with other people. I've never met a cat who was more excited to meet strangers than this one. Any knock at the door and she would have answered it if she could. Anyone I let in was her new BFF. But when neighbor cats would come around, she would hiss and let them know that this was a single cat home. If you have a choice, you might want to get another boy cat. But if you decide not to get another kitten or cat, he'll be just fine as an only cat. Having just rescued a stray and got him placed into a rescue, I can tell you that often times cats are just happy to have food, warmth, comfort, and security. Feline companionship is not required. But they do get lonely. I wouldn't lock him out of your room.

And since you said you're a new cat mom, I will tell you it's much easier to wipe down your counters and keep your stove and sink clean of dirty dishes than to train a cat not to counter surf. Just let the cat be a cat and you'll have so many wonderful memories together instead of being aggravated by what you might call bad behavior. Discipline never works with cats. If there ever is any problematic behavior, a vet visit should be your first action to make sure he isn't acting out because of a health issue. Once he's cleared of health issues, think like a cat, figure out why it's appealing, and either remove the appeal, or provide him a more acceptable alternative. Or just post to these forums if any issues arise.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience!! I've never locked him out because the last thing I want is for him to be lonely other than for a few moments when I need to take out the trash because he did manage to get out once so I try to distract him with his favorite toy in another room while I do that. I just worry because he really did enjoy playing with his sibling and other cats in the household. I think what worries me now is because school started up, even when I'm home and my classes are spread out and not the normal 8-3 (I'm a grad student), I don't want him to get lonely during the day. He's super active and I do play with him a lot.

Yes, it's not really the counter surfing but him on the keyboard when I'm working/in class lol. I don't wanna get unmuted during meetings/class or accidentally or something sends before I'm done typing, etc. and I wasn't aggravated by bad behavior, I'm sorry if that's how it came off. I just took him off and tried to distract him with his favorite toys. I understand he's just a kitten and this is what they're like. I know cats are notorious for it so I'm not shocked at all, I'm just wondering what other people have tried that works for them lol. I've put a comfy basket next to me and there's also a cat tree by the window that's super close, I don't even have to try to reach over to pet him if he's on it. He's just never been interested in the cat tree lol. I even have some of his favorite toys in the room. He doesn't seem to have any behavioral problems as far as I can tell? He was just more hyper than usual and slept harder that day so I was concerned it might be a health issue but he is eating, active, and using the litter box which gives me some peace of mind. I'll give them a call tomorrow though because his pupils have been dilated more a lot more than usual the past day or so which was odd. Thanks again!
 

maggie101

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One of my cats finds the computer very interesting. My other cat bites me if she doesnt like it. Trixie puzzles are helpful
P1010947.jpg
 
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maggie101

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I cut treats in tiny pieces. The one with all the squares has a tunnel. The bowls are the hardest for her. She keeps trying to go around the bowls instead of putting her paw in
20181018_222409.jpg
 

daftcat75

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I called the space between the keyboard and the operator (me), Krista's "filling station." She would frequently pull up and park, demanding full service. Usually all she wanted was some attention. I would give her my full attention with scritches and pets and talk to her. And when she had her fill (often about 10 minutes), she'd move on. She was my break enforcer. She was a senior cat in these pictures. I don't know if this would work with a kitten or if he'd just keep returning for more.
IMG_1579.JPG IMG_1308.JPG
 

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My cat was in a foster home and had friends when I adopted her and made her an only kitten. She was a little over a year old when my husband/then boyfriend and I moved in together with his cat who was about 9 at the time? They didn't like the change, and it probably helped that both were going to a new territory, but now they're fine with each other (not friends, though). So cats will adapt to change, even if they don't like it.
 

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I vote for two kittens :-) ... but then I am biased ... I have 5 cats- two of them Ragdolls ( my last two babies - brothers) lol- I included photos to show why ... integrations are easiest with kittens and when they have ben spayed or neutered early - before puberty. Raggies are often very gentle natured and social. Both of mine tend to avoid conflict whenever possible and are very easy going and careful even playing with each other. But then both of my boys seem to be on the shy side. They integrated well with my adults for that reason ( they were never pushy or scratchy or obnoxious like other kittens ... lol ) ... SO much depends on a kitten's personality- if you do decide to pick another kitten - choose one with a more mellow personality ...
 

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daftcat75

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Second vote for rescue over breeder. If you're set on providing him a playmate, it would be better to do it now than to wait for him to become established and comfortable as an only cat. It's not unheard of for the later introduction to work out. But I think it will be easier on him if it was done sooner than later.
 
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