I don’t want to rehome anyone.. help!:(

Csww

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Hi,

I have three cats. Two boys - M (3 years old) R (18 months) and a girl L (1).

I rescued L last year from a bus station, she was a stray and dirty, frozen and starving.I expected the introduction to the boys to be a long process but to my surprise they got along right away! She took the upper hand, she growled and they backed off and respected her space from then on. They used to curl up and sleep with her.
The past week or 2 my boy R has been attacking her out of nowhere. If he spots her he flies at her and she’ll run to hide anywhere she can. If he gets her he jumps on her and she screams. She stiffens up crouches and puts her ears down every time she sees one of them, even my oldest boy M. M comes to see her and she instantly starts growling and panicking but he is only coming to play. He rolls over and shows her his belly etc in attempt to reassure her I think but she won’t have it, she thinks he’s going to hurt her.

I’m lost, on why this is happening and what I can do to help. I’ve just ordered some feliway spray. They’re all fixed. I’ve got plenty of toys for them, automatic lasers, wands, electronic mice, a water fountain that they play in, I alternate the toys so they don’t get bored of them too.
We have cat trees too however, L doesn’t use them for some reason and R (the bully) only has three legs so he can’t use them. I think he gets bored, he struggles to use his energy as he can’t climb very well and he is also HUGE. He weighs 15lbs at the moment, L is a petite cat she’s only 7lb, so obviously it’s painful for her when he does attack. He does attack me too, I have to be on guard if he comes for strokes because it’ll quickly turn into a biting game, I know he is “playing” but he has teeth like a dog rather than a cat, I’ve no idea what breed he is but he’s not like any other cat I’ve owned.
What can I do to fix this? I refuse to rehome anybody. I was thinking about reintroducing but I’m not sure who to isolate. My fear is if I isolate her, my other boy won’t accept her back either.


sorry it’s a really long read I just wanted to give as much information as i could.
 

di and bob

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Everything really sounds pretty normal. Females are the manners teachers, the limit setters, they usually have no patience or tolerance for any kind of roughhousing, which I see R wanting to do. I have three too, a female and her two sons, and she is constantly screaming, hissing, and swatting them to put them in their place. Since R has only three legs, I don't see why she couldn't get away from him if she wanted, she is trying to stand her ground and teach some manners here. I have a kickeroo i got on Amazon and throw it towards my stalker, or slide it into him when he is attacking. anything to distract him. I also yell NO loudly. All this is really a show of trying to gain a higher place in the hierarchy of the house. I take it there are no real injuries, like flowing blood and deep bites. If he plays too rough with YOU (and it may work for calming him a little with her) as he is biting you, take him by the scruff of the neck, (the skin only) and hold him to the ground for a few minutes, saying NO loudly. do this EVERY time to be effective, if he struggles wildly, lifts his front feet off the ground briefly to stop him. the front feet only. It instinctively quiets cats and is what mamas do to discipline their kittens, You will see adults doing it for dominance too. Distraction is the best bet, but this method works well with cats that bite too hard and won't stop. Good luck, I hope others come on here with some other methods to try too!
 
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Csww

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Thank you, I’ll definitely try that technique with him. He’s so big and strong it’s hard to overpower him and move him away so hopefully this will help. He makes sure he corners her so she can’t really do much when he comes for her, she does run and get away from him most of the time but he is very fast for a three legged cat he’s quite amazing lol I just feel a bit guilty that she spends most of her time hiding from him and when she does come out she creeps around to make sure he isn’t there.
 

di and bob

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If she actually hides from him and is avoiding him, he is really causing her a lot of distress or even pain. As long as there aren't any wounds, it's not totally serious, but she shouldn't have to creep around. So get even a slipper to slide into him for now, and try the scruffing, it shows you are top cat, but it may take a while.......PS don't throw the slipper, I tossed it, missed, and hit the wrong cat! I felt really bad.....
 

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Hi. Since this is a recent development, you might have to consider that there is health issue going on with either R or L. Sick cats sometimes will attack other cats around them, and in reverse a sick cat can be attacked by others. If R were to be the one who has a health issue, it is no guarantee that he would automatically attack M as well as L. And, if L were to be ill, that doesn't mean M would also automatically attack her either. There is sometimes no rhyme or reason why it happens in this manner. Any of these scenarios can't be ruled out just because R attacks you too - as that could be considered a form of re-directed aggression regardless of who is having a health issue.

The other thing to consider is household changes that have taken place which are affecting R more than the other two cats, and he is taking it out on L - and, sometimes you. If not changes within the house, perhaps something going on outside the house - new cats in the area that R can sense, or construction/abnormal noises or activities, for a couple of examples. These are also forms of re-directed aggression.

There is usually a cause behind changes like this. Once they are investigated and the cause is identified, the resolution is much easier to find and enact.
 
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Csww

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Hi. Since this is a recent development, you might have to consider that there is health issue going on with either R or L. Sick cats sometimes will attack other cats around them, and in reverse a sick cat can be attacked by others. If R were to be the one who has a health issue, it is no guarantee that he would automatically attack M as well as L. And, if L were to be ill, that doesn't mean M would also automatically attack her either. There is sometimes no rhyme or reason why it happens in this manner. Any of these scenarios can't be ruled out just because R attacks you too - as that could be considered a form of re-directed aggression regardless of who is having a health issue.

The other thing to consider is household changes that have taken place which are affecting R more than the other two cats, and he is taking it out on L - and, sometimes you. If not changes within the house, perhaps something going on outside the house - new cats in the area that R can sense, or construction/abnormal noises or activities, for a couple of examples. These are also forms of re-directed aggression.

There is usually a cause behind changes like this. Once they are investigated and the cause is identified, the resolution is much easier to find and enact.

thank you! actually Roo has a sore foot at the moment which he’s seeing the vet for on Tuesday. It’s his only back foot so I know it’s causing him some pain so maybe it could be that that’s stressing him out.

I’ve watched very closely today and realised that the girl is the one that’s growling as soon as she spots any of them and then R chases her so it may be her starting it. I’ll get them both in for a vet check. Not along ago R had a lot of vet trips which I think unsettled him quite a bit too - he was wrongly diagnosed with mouth cancer and I had to get a 2nd, 3rd and 4th opinion which meant he went to the vets 5 days in a row bless him! But it turned out he is fine and the first vet was completely wrong. I wonder if that’s bothered him and caused a change too.
 

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thank you! actually Roo has a sore foot at the moment which he’s seeing the vet for on Tuesday. It’s his only back foot so I know it’s causing him some pain so maybe it could be that that’s stressing him out.

I’ve watched very closely today and realised that the girl is the one that’s growling as soon as she spots any of them and then R chases her so it may be her starting it. I’ll get them both in for a vet check. Not along ago R had a lot of vet trips which I think unsettled him quite a bit too - he was wrongly diagnosed with mouth cancer and I had to get a 2nd, 3rd and 4th opinion which meant he went to the vets 5 days in a row bless him! But it turned out he is fine and the first vet was completely wrong. I wonder if that’s bothered him and caused a change too.
Hi! How long ago was Roo in and out of the vet? It's not uncommon for one cat to become aggressive towards another after vet visits, partly due to all the weird smells on the cat that was at the vet. Did the fights start around that time, or was that too long ago to be related?
 
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