I don't usually post personal things. Need to vent...

subconsciousme

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I don't usually do this. And this post may make no sense at all, I am sorry.

I will attempt to give a bit of a back story.

Last March (2010) I was hospitalized for 10 days. 8 in ICU, almost 3 of those on a respirator and tube fed. I had double pneumonia despite getting all the preventative shots. Upon admission my O2 was 71 (supposed to be 95+).

When I was discharged, on full oxygen, I obviously had follow-up appointments. Out of those appointments, I was discovered I have a variation of COPD and a compromised immune system. (Just so you know, I have never smoked.)

It is so hard for me to be outside in public these days. Everyone smokes it seems. Yesterday, I was on campus and had to walk by so many smokers I had to have my girlfriend come pick me up from school (instead of riding the light rail home) and had an asthma attack shortly later. I do everything I can to avoid walking by them, but sometimes it is unavoidable like when smokers are smoking on train platforms (despite it not being allowed).

I speak up and I am considered mean or rude when I politely ask them to move back a bit (I need to sit a lot because of my immune system). I never asked for my lungs to be so sick, or even me. I just want to be healthy. I guess I never really was but all this has taken such a toll on me lately. I cannot even walk up stairs--even one flight.

I hate wearing a medic alert bracelet.

I feel so discouraged lately.

I'll shut up now. I'm supposed to be stronger than this.
 

catmom2wires

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You are only as physically strong as your body will allow you to be.

I am sorry you are going through this. It is so very frustrating--I KNOW.

I have myasthenia gravis. I particularly severe form. At my worst I can not speak, can not swallow, can not hold my eyes open or my head up without difficulty. Chairs (or beds) are my best friend. I sit in amazement watching others move about, seemingly effortlessly.

It is not fair. In no way, shape or form is it fair. However, I would encourage you to be kind to your body, and not beat yourself up mentally for something that is happening to you that is not your fault. I would encourage you to never give up looking for a treatment or a doctor who can do something to help improve your quality of life.

Last fall, I went radical with my treatments, and chose to have my errant immune system irradicated by ultra high chemo and grew me a new one from my own stem cells. It was rough, I almost died at one point as my blood counts were so low and I got really sick, but now I am better. Amazingly better---after 12 years of pure hell.

Never give up! Try to enjoy the snippets of joy you can glean from your current life. Rest when you need, avoid trouble (smokers) when you can and continue to respectfully ask for clean air when you need. We all have to share this world, after all!

Hope this helps a little bit. I will be thinking of you!

Never give up!!!!

Cally
 

denice

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I am sorry that you have these physical problems. It's not your fault but it is still hard to accept. I have been fortunate with health problems but the last few years I have had to accept some limitations because of age. I tried to ignore it and work through it but I finally had to accept it. Ohio seems to have gotten serious, at least in this area about smoking around entrances to buildings. Entrances are even posted with a toll free number to report violations.
 

junior_j

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Sorry that you are going through all of this , my auntie has COPD as does my nan (although both these were chronic smokers) So i have seen how debilitating it can be! xxxxx Like said above , keep enjoying what you can with life and continue nagging medicial experts to see if anything else can be done! x My auntie had to go to like a exercise class for people with lung conditions/diseases to train her body to cope with moving about a bit more and stamina ect and the change was amazing , would this be a possibility for you? She made lots of friends too with similar/same conditions so there was always some one on the end of the phone who knew exactly what she was through! xxxx big hugs and vibes x
 

blueyedgirl5946

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I am sorry for what you are going through. Your post makes me glad all over again that I don't pollute the air anymore with cigarette smoke. Continue to ask others to respect your right of clean air. Good luck to you with your health. I hope things improve for you.
 

bluerexbear

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I'm so sorry! It sounds like you are quite young too (girlfriend...campus...).
I used to think smoking was cool too. Then I got pregnant with my first son. I have never touched it since. My grandmother died from a bloodclot that went to her heart as a result of 40 years of smoking camel non-filtered cigarettes. I have a lot of anger toward her for making the choice to smoke around me (I have asthma now too) and then kill herself with it. Addiction is anything that has more power over someone than they have over themselves.
 

kittehtime

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wow, i say vent all you want. it's good for you.

i'm sorry you are feeling so low.
 

ldg

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Gary's mom has COPD, and it is so frustrating for her! It IS tough, and as Rebecca says, it sounds like you're young, so it's got to suck that much more.
I'm so sorry you have to deal with this.

I do have a thought. When you politely ask people to stand back, do you mention you have a lung disease? It might help.
 
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subconsciousme

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Thanks everyone for your support--it means a lot. I am usually pretty private but it's been something I've been struggling with a lot lately.

Just so you know, I am (almost) 33... ah, being an adult learner.
And yes, I mention to people I have a lung disease when I ask them to move back. And some still don't.

I am not exactly sure what to feel about people who argue about smokers who feel they have a right to smoke anywhere. Yes, it is a public space. But on that note, do I not have the right to share in a safe public space as well?

Just because I look young, doesn't mean I am not aged--haha. You know?

Sometimes it could be breathing just one puff of smoke for 10 seconds that could send me to the ER and the bill to follow shortly after... it's frustrating.

Sorry for the pity party!
 

ldg

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Then you should start asking people for their name and address, so you can send them the bill for your trip to the ER! (I think I'm being serious!).

Hardly a pity party. When you're stuck with something like that, you need to vent sometimes. Geez - I need to vent about uncaring people frequently! And they're not sending me to the hospital!

Oh - BTW, some of us think 33 is young.
(OK, I'm 48, and I know there are plenty of people that think that's young.
).

But in answer to your question, yes, you have the right to share a safe public space.
And there's nothing wrong with needing to vent about people being crappy about it.
 

resqchick

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Originally Posted by LDG

Then you should start asking people for their name and address, so you can send them the bill for your trip to the ER! (I think I'm being serious!).

Hardly a pity party. When you're stuck with something like that, you need to vent sometimes. Geez - I need to vent about uncaring people frequently! And they're not sending me to the hospital!

Oh - BTW, some of us think 33 is young.
(OK, I'm 48, and I know there are plenty of people that think that's young.
).

But in answer to your question, yes, you have the right to share a safe public space.
And there's nothing wrong with needing to vent about people being crappy about it.
I completely agree. 33 is young. (I'm 44) It's natural to want to feel young and act young when you are young.

I think it's quite obnoxious when people don't stand away from the front of a building where people MUST walk to enter or exit. It's pushing their habits onto you, and while I may think it just smells bad, for you, it is life threatening.

I'd try going to the school administration, bring your medical paperwork, and ask that they put signs requiring 30 feet between the doors and their smoking area. I'd also ask that they have security make sure it's enforced. I cannot imagine the stress you have when you have to enter or exit, knowing how sick you can become so quickly.

You vent all you want, we'll listen!!
 

alicatjoy

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I'm so sorry that you're going through a difficult time. I wish there was something that I could do or say that would help ease your pain and bring you encouragement and hope, but all I can do is say that, in some ways, I can relate.

I am diabetic. I have Type II Diabetes and am insulin dependent. And, while our situations and circumstances are different, I can relate to the fact that society can hinder, not help, those of us with chronic health conditions. And, even beyond that, I, myself, have been faced with those who pass judgement or who are careless in a manner which affects me directly. Is it fair? Absolutely not. But, by the same token, I try to remember that not everyone in every situation thinks this way -- some people are ignorant by choice and others by circumstance. I've found that for those who do not understand my illness or what I am going through are far more amenable to assisting me or being respectful of me than those who choose not to care. And, while your situation is different in that your illness is aggravated by outside circumstances (such as smoke in the environment), I do understand how difficult day-to-day life can be.

I'm 28 years old. Along with my diabetes, I am hypothyroid. I have some other issues as well, but I will spare the details. Getting by on a daily basis is hard. I am exhausted all the time. I have trouble thinking, working, and, sometimes, even resting. From the outside (and to the outside), I look like many other 28 year olds. However, inside, I have the body of someone much older and much more ill. The external world does not see that part of me. And, even if they did, I don't know that it would make much of a difference. I can understand your frustration and why you are discouraged. I wish I had some sort of useful advice, but, to be honest, I am struggling myself. However, I did want to post to let you know that you're not alone and that there is always hope for a better tomorrow.

Vent all that you need -- we are all here for you. And, if you need anything at all, don't hesitate to PM me. While I may not be in the same situation, I do understand what living with a chronic condition is like. Please know you are in my thoughts today and going forward.
 

rockcat

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Originally Posted by SubconsciousMe

I am not exactly sure what to feel about people who argue about smokers who feel they have a right to smoke anywhere. Yes, it is a public space. But on that note, do I not have the right to share in a safe public space as well?
Yeah, I agree with you. We had this discusion in IMO some time ago and I was pretty suprised at some of the responses.
 

anita1216

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Say what you need to say!! Be mad and vent all you want. Its tough having lousy lungs (25 years and counting with asthma here). I tell people to get away from me that are smoking, Im long past trying to be polite. It stinks and its a lousy, expensive habit.

You have the right to clean air and a safe environment to move through. It boggles my mind that people who want to kill themselves smoking feel they have a right to try and take me along with them
 

krazy kat2

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Unfortunately,smoking is a bad habit that many people have. I used to smoke myself. Maybe some of us will give it up.. I quit when I was pregnant with my daughter..
 

nurseangel

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I am sorry you are going through this. I feel terrible that you are being put in a situation that is dangerous to your health, especially due to other people's ignorance or rudeness.
 

carolpetunia

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You are so totally RIGHT to be angry about this -- I am too! Consider this: you could walk past a heroin addict while he shoots up and suffer no ill effect whatsoever. But walk past a tobacco addict while he lights up, and his toxins are forced into your lungs. Why is this still tolerated in public places?
 
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