I don't know what to do...

[chupi]

Hi - This really sucks - I think I would feel like storming over to their house and wrestling with them to get that kitty back - I had to fight with a couple over one of my kittens - he was 10 weeks old and under the weather (not eating) from his first shot, so i told them that their collecting him was out of the question

They reeeally didn't like it but at the end of the day, its the kitty that will suffer, not them..

Anyway, another approach - can't you impress on them that this kitty may well be ill-socialised and a possibly be a danger to their little kids if she is not taught how to be around humans by her siblings and mother? I would be genuinely worried about that, as kitten claws are very sharp and can do damage to little children if the cat is not aware that getting their claws out can hurt their human handlers. And the possibility of cat bites are definitely not something to ignore.

Having said that we got our cat at 7 weeks and he never gets his claws out, but like all things it depends on the cat..

Anyway, good luck, it doesn't sound like this family will cooperate, but you should let the family know that if any incident like the kitten scratching the kids occurs and they are no longer comfortable with the kitten, that you will be happy to take the kitten back.

 

[andria313]

Thanks Becki, and I'm sure you're right. I wish I knew the family a little better. They haven't impressed me with their stubbornness, but I've been assured that it's a loving family, with a safe, clean home, and good children. I suppose that I've been acting like he gave her away to drug addicts or something

I'm quite a worrier, but with good intentions. And it doesn't help that I just miss her so much!

My boyfriend and I have had a chance to discuss it more now that I've calmed down. The first couple "conversations" mostly consisted of me screaming "How could you be so stupid?!" and "If you don't plan on coming home from work today with my kitten, don't come home at all!!"

Not very productive, I know, but I was pretty angry. It's not like he does this kind of thing all the time, we have a good relationship and make plans together, so that's why I was so floored by his actions. And he loves cats, and dotes over the kitties almost as much as I do. He helped me with the delivery (Chloe ran into a few snags), and said as soon as they were born that he wanted to keep them all. This is very sudden and out-of-character, so I'm still trying to wrap my mind around it. Unless I discover some horrible secret motive to hurt me, we'll be fine.

 

[kluchetta]

I was, unfortunately, one of those people who thought kittens were "good to go" at six weeks. I think it gets a bit confusing if you're not living it day-to-day, and puppies go to homes best at 6 - 8 weeks. So people get confused. We got a kitten about 8 years ago at the age of 6 weeks. She did have a couple of issues with the rug (spots where the former occupants had cats that had accidents) and with biting people's ankles and hands. That could have been from us playing with her incorrectly.

However, she was the very best kitty we had as far as being cuddly, and sleeping with anyone, including the kids, and she always knew someone was sick - she was our "therapy cat." (One time my daughter said, "Mommy, am I sick? Because Sassy's sleeping with me.") It sounds like your kitty is well-loved, but the people should be watchful over any signs because even though they have the best intentions, the kitten was taken from the mother too young, and could have separation issues.

 

[andria313]

Chupi, I did include that in my e-mail, but part of the reason my bf left her was because she was so good with the kids while he was there (apparently the little girl was brushing her with her doll brush, which the kitty loved). Since she's not having problems now, they probably don't believe me that there could be problems in the future. She is really sweet, so hopefully she'll be fine with the kids (but I just can't shake the mental image of a little 3 year old, running and screaming through the house with a cat attached to her ankle

I know its more serious than that, but its a funny picture). I'm going to give it the rest of today before giving up hope, but I will definitely reiterate my concerns for their children and my willingness to take her back at any point down the road.

 

[yosemite]

I think it is too late to do much at this point other than to impress upon them and ensure these people know that if they have any behaviour issues with this kitten and are not willing to work them through, that you would want them to give the kitten back to you rather than to anyone else or a shelter.

At the same time I would reiterate to them that you are aware they are good, responsible people and that your only real concerns are that the kitty was really too young to be separated from it's mom and it could cause behaviour issues.

Then I think you have to sit back and accept that they probably will not return this kitten to you as it seems the kittie is doing fine. Now you have to accept that, and go on from here. If they are friends of your BF you will always be able to "keep an eye" on things in a roundabout way through your BF, so I suggest you stop anguishing over this and get on with things.

It seems you and BF have sorted it out and that is good. Maybe he'll feel guilty enough to help you "keep an eye" on the kittie.

 

[andria313]

LOL. I can't keep up with the replies (thanks everyone). Your kitty sounds sweet kluchetta. My bf got Chloe (the kittens' mom) at six weeks, and she's generally a good, loving, cat too. She's sucked the stuffing out of my boyfriend's favorite blanket, chews and claws at our hair while we're sleeping or watching tv, has broken my favorite vase, the window fan, the blinds, and entire set of water glasses, my curling iron..., and likes to jump on my back when I'm at the computer and then claw all the way down as she falls (I think I have permanent scars), but all in all she's a good girl

I can definitely see the nursing issues, and we've never been able to teach her how to play without biting, scratching, and kicking... On second thought, maybe it's good Chloe didn't get a chance to teach her how to be naughty! (just kidding

) I hope this kitten will be a little sweetie like yours and be a loving addition to this family.

 

[andria313]

Ah, it happened again. Thanks Yosemite, and I plan on doing everything you've suggested. I'll be fine once I've done everything I can to ensure her well-being. And I'm pouring extra love into the kitties I still have, which is making me feel better (and I'm sure they like their new bed, toys, litterbox, and french cat food I got yesterday... but I also made their vaccination appointments. hahaha)

 

[kluchetta]

Well, my cat had 8 kittens in April, and I did pretty much insist that the kittens stay until 10 or 11 weeks. (We had a european trip planned, and thought we'd get them rehomed before the trip.) There were separation issues I had to get over - and I got myself through it by thinking of all the one-on-one attention and loving the kittens would be getting in their new homes. Even though I loved them a lot, I just couldn't give that much attention to 11 cats altogether!

 

[yosemite]

Originally Posted by Andria313

Ah, it happened again. Thanks Yosemite, and I plan on doing everything you've suggested. I'll be fine once I've done everything I can to ensure her well-being. And I'm pouring extra love into the kitties I still have, which is making me feel better (and I'm sure they like their new bed, toys, litterbox, and french cat food I got yesterday... but I also made their vaccination appointments. hahaha)

You are a good "mom" to your kitties and I applaud you. Hopefully it won't be too much of a hardship to pour all that extra love on the 2 remaining kitties.

Good thoughts and hugs to you.

 

[andria313]

Thanks again everybody... I'm feeling much better. I know that she's being well taken care of and receiving more one-on-one attention than we could give her with four cats. But you won't believe the response to my e-mail to the family (which I assure you was calm, rational, and unoffensive). The husband actually printed off the e-mail, took it to my boyfriend's work, and told him that he considers this harassment. He asked that I not contact them again, and said that if I ever come to their house, he's calling the police! This is a 35 year old man! I hardly see how one phone message (the day of) and one e-mail (3 days later), neither of which were angry or threatening, is harassment. I guess sending a follow up e-mail and calling their vet are both out of the question now, lol. Plus the guy made a big scene of it at my bf's work, and apparently everyone there now thinks I'm a stalker lunatic! This is ridiculous. Thought it would give everyone a good laugh though. Thanks again for all the support and kind words.

 

[jennyr]

Well. we know you are not a stalker or lunatic! I do hope the kitten will be OK, and it probably will. But we all want to give our furbabies hte best start possible in life, and you only tried to do that.

 

[beckiboo]

Originally Posted by Andria313

Thanks again everybody... I'm feeling much better. I know that she's being well taken care of and receiving more one-on-one attention than we could give her with four cats. But you won't believe the response to my e-mail to the family (which I assure you was calm, rational, and unoffensive). The husband actually printed off the e-mail, took it to my boyfriend's work, and told him that he considers this harassment. He asked that I not contact them again, and said that if I ever come to their house, he's calling the police! This is a 35 year old man! I hardly see how one phone message (the day of) and one e-mail (3 days later), neither of which were angry or threatening, is harassment. I guess sending a follow up e-mail and calling their vet are both out of the question now, lol. Plus the guy made a big scene of it at my bf's work, and apparently everyone there now thinks I'm a stalker lunatic! This is ridiculous. Thought it would give everyone a good laugh though. Thanks again for all the support and kind words.

Oy, vey! What a week you have had!

Well, I hope you end up sticking around here at TCS. I guess if you learned you have a goofy neighbor, but gained 1,000 (more or less) catlady and catguy friends, it all works out, right?

 

[lorelei]

Unofrtunately people some people don't understand the importance of taking care of a kitty. Andria, you did the right thing with the phone call and email. Probably, they are thinking you're making a big fuss for an "animal". It is sad to see people adding pets to the household, just to have a pet, when they really don't understand what it takes. You're not lunatic, you did the right thing. My friends don't get it, when I "talk" to my babies, when I've been with them for drinks after work and suddenly I have to go to feed the cats and spend time with them, because it's that time of the day. And they say: "it's only cats". I'm glad you and your boyfriend worked things out. He made a mistake and I gurantee you, my friend that next time he'll remember what happened.