i dont know what to do

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scoutandmaxine

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scouts vet visit today came with very bad news. she has cancer, which is on top of the kidney disease she has been living with. for the past week, scout has been refusing food. only taking a couple licks or bites, every once in awhile. the vet gave me some pain pills to make her comfortable but they said it wouldn't be long. I have the option of at home euthanasia, which is very expensive but worth it to have her be more comfortable.. but im not sure if we are at that point yet... she is still being her sweet and affectionate self and even if I am not able to be with her bc of work, my mom stays with her so she will never be alone. but should I hold off or is it selfish? is it wrong to hope that she can go peacefully while on the pain meds? she is wandering around more often now bc she gets restless on pain medication. and she is purring very loudly which isn't unlike her normally. my parents think I should hold off. and I would gladly hold off if I wasn't so afraid of her suffering in her last minutes.
 

Meowmee

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scouts vet visit today came with very bad news. she has cancer, which is on top of the kidney disease she has been living with. for the past week, scout has been refusing food. only taking a couple licks or bites, every once in awhile. the vet gave me some pain pills to make her comfortable but they said it wouldn't be long. I have the option of at home euthanasia, which is very expensive but worth it to have her be more comfortable.. but im not sure if we are at that point yet... she is still being her sweet and affectionate self and even if I am not able to be with her bc of work, my mom stays with her so she will never be alone. but should I hold off or is it selfish? is it wrong to hope that she can go peacefully while on the pain meds? she is wandering around more often now bc she gets restless on pain medication. and she is purring very loudly which isn't unlike her normally. my parents think I should hold off. and I would gladly hold off if I wasn't so afraid of her suffering in her last minutes.
I am so sorry 😿 I am not sure what I would do…Prolly hold off if she is not in terrible pain, is eating, using box etc.
 

FeebysOwner

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Do you know what type of cancer she has, where it is located, and if it is treatable? Or have you decided you don't want to go that route? How bad is her kidney disease? In looking back on your previous posts, Scout is about 14-15? Is she on an appetite stimulant and anti-nausea meds (often needed with CKD cats, among other things)?

Have you considered trying to feed her baby food meat (Gerber Stage 2 or Beechnut) for some nutrition? Other than the chicken ones (due to the calcium), EZ Complete can be added to them to make them nutritionally complete for a cat. A lot of cats who aren't interested in eating will eat the baby food. Even if you don't want to do much else, at least this food might make her more comfortable.

I only ask all these questions because my 18+yo cat was recently diagnosed with early-stage intestinal lymphoma. She is CKD, hyperthyroidic, and has high blood pressure, along with arthritis. She is doing fairly OK, all things considered, and I have not yet determined if I will treat her lymphoma, but I will do what else I can for her in the meantime. Her regular cat food is supplemented with baby food meat (and EZ Complete) to keep her weight maintained.
 
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scoutandmaxine

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Do you know what type of cancer she has, where it is located, and if it is treatable? Or have you decided you don't want to go that route? How bad is her kidney disease? In looking back on your previous posts, Scout is about 14-15? Is she on an appetite stimulant and anti-nausea meds (often needed with CKD cats, among other things)?

Have you considered trying to feed her baby food meat (Gerber Stage 2 or Beechnut) for some nutrition? Other than the chicken ones (due to the calcium), EZ Complete can be added to them to make them nutritionally complete for a cat. A lot of cats who aren't interested in eating will eat the baby food. Even if you don't want to do much else, at least this food might make her more comfortable.

I only ask all these questions because my 18+yo cat was recently diagnosed with early-stage intestinal lymphoma. She is CKD, hyperthyroidic, and has high blood pressure, along with arthritis. She is doing fairly OK, all things considered, and I have not yet determined if I will treat her lymphoma, but I will do what else I can for her in the meantime. Her regular cat food is supplemented with baby food meat (and EZ Complete) to keep her weight maintained.
I am not sure exactly the type of cancer. they found a mass. but I don't want to put her through the stress of more tests. I have tried every kind of food, including baby food and people food. they did give her an anti nausea medication, but she still will only lick a little bit. it doesn't seem to matter what the food is, she just doesn't want to eat. right now she seems very dopey. her eyes are huge and she's slightly restless. but she seems ok, no outwardly signs of distress. so I think I'm gonna hold off and see how the pain meds help.
 

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she is wandering around more often now bc she gets restless on pain medication. and she is purring very loudly which isn't unlike her normally.
There's a phrase, never on their worst day.

In my opinion, yes, it's a tough decision but when we get ourselves out of the way and listen to our heart, it is a little less complicated. Try not to let your parents or anyone here including me influence your decision. She has been there for you throughout, and now you will be there and strong for her.

This might help;
 

Mamanyt1953

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I agree, never on their worst day. And please be aware that cats also purr when in pain, possibly to self-sooth. She may be purring because the pain meds are not adequate, which can also cause the wandering around. If she isn't eating, she's preparing herself to move on. My heart bleeds for you. I know how badly this hurts, but look to her own good. She depends on you for that.
 

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Here is a video that may help you. I’m not so sure about for me anyway having someone come to the house, because this would scare all of my other cats, and the cat who had to be euthanized maybe too etc. Then they would think that I had someone come to the house to kill them etc.

But it could work for you and others of course. As with all of these events there could be different experiences each time too.

She said that eating is not always a given and that some dogs she euthanized were eating up until the end.

I will never forget the awful experiences I have had, and one of them was one I brought my baby to Dvm after they had given her convenia, and it was clear that it was causing her to die. They sat there weighing her and taking her temp, and making her go through all of this stuff before they would euthanize, after I told dvm I’m sure she’s dying and I wanted to let her go because I don’t want her to suffer anymore. Really awful. I can’t believe I stayed with that place for so many years. Later I read she did a similar thing at someone’s house who wanted their dog euthanized trying for over an hour to sell them a bunch of meds etc. for his intractable disease. Classy act, you give my cat a drug that caused her death, deny it had any effect and then refuse to euthanize without torturing her first when she is obviously dying and suffering.

Similar thing happened when I brought Giorgio, one of my outdoor guys, to another DVM when it was clear he was very ill and dying- that DVM was trying to convince me that I should put him on steroids for a while and I said no, it’s time to let him go. He was headbutting me, and I think he was thankful that I was helping him at the end of his life. That Dvm was such a fake because I had called them up two weeks before that, and said that he was getting worse, and I wanted to do more blood work, and they wouldn’t do it. Anyway he was very ill, and I think he was really not long for this world so I’m glad I was able to do that for him at least.

https://www.lapoflove.com/how-will-i-know-it-is-time
 
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Antonio65

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I’m not so sure about for me anyway having someone come to the house, because this would scare all of my other cats, and the cat who had to be euthanized maybe too etc. Then they would think that I had someone come to the house to kill them etc.
On the other hand, I wouldn't like the idea that the last thing my cat sees is a foreign place, with lots of foreign people, unfamiliar and scary scents, sounds, lights and so on, a place that my cat might have very likely visited in the past and she never liked it.
I would prefer that the last things my cat sees are her own house, with all those familiar items that made her life happy and made her feel safe.
I did that for my Tom and my Lola, and I'm very glad I did.
 

Meowmee

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On the other hand, I wouldn't like the idea that the last thing my cat sees is a foreign place, with lots of foreign people, unfamiliar and scary scents, sounds, lights and so on, a place that the cat might have very likely visited in the past and it never liked it.
I would prefer that the last things my cat sees are its own house, with all those familiar items that made her life happy and made her feel safe.
I did that for my Tom and my Lola, and I'm very glad I did.
I am glad that worked for you…😀 my cats are so scared of people I think it would just end up terrifying all of them.

Something like that already happened with my last cats who have all passed now- when one of them was dying in my arms, horrifically, at home after a terrible Dvm pierced his spleen, I had to rush him to the regular closer Dvm where he was euthanized.

After that my cats were all terrified and I could not get one of them in the carrier even to go to DVM without a huge struggle, so it was not something they ever forgot. It might be even worse if someone came to the house etc.

Also where we are it is nearly impossible to get a dvm to come at any odd hours for euthanasia. Unless you make an appointment for a certain time which will be when they work…you can pretty much forget about any emergency euthanasia.
 

Antonio65

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I am glad that worked for you…😀 my cats are so scared of people I think it would just end up terrifying all of them.

Something like that already happened with my last cats who have all passed now- when one of them was dying in my arms, horrifically, at home after a terrible Dvm pierced his spleen, I had to rush him to the regular closer Dvm where he was euthanized.

After that my cats were all terrified and I could not get one of them in the carrier even to go to DVM without a huge struggle, so it was not something they ever forgot. It might be even worse if someone came to the house etc.
It might work if all the other cats are being confined in another room for the necessary time. They wouldn't see any stranger in the house and wouldn't see what is going to happen.
 

Meowmee

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It might work if all the other cats are being confined in another room for the necessary time. They wouldn't see any stranger in the house and wouldn't see what is going to happen.
They would still know though, my cats are very smart. It would still traumatize them if one of their brothers was suddenly gone when a dangerous stranger came to the house etc., they can smell all of the medical stuff etc. too.

When I say suddenly gone, actually they would see him because we do a wake usually so they know before cremation.
 
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catloverfromwayback

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I can only say, better too early than too late. I left it too long with my Katie, who had a cancerous mass on her liver and only lived two weeks after diagnosis. She died in my lap of congestive heart failure. Maddie (my avatar) also died of cancer, but palliative care was not working for her - she would froth and fight against having any medication and vomit it up immediately - and I got her to the vet for the last time rather than put her through that, and for no purpose.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It comes down to sparing Scout pain and distress.
 

di and bob

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Try Delectable Lickables in the stew flavors to get her to eat a little more. My cats take a few licks even though they are very sick. it is in the treat section at Walmart, Dollar General, etc. When she starts hiding is the time to bring her in. Cats pull away at the end often times and hide to spare you the pain. They are very good at hiding pain. I would pick a date at the near future and go through with it. Prolonging the inevitable often brings suffering. My heart goes out to you, please just love her as much as you can right now......
 
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scoutandmaxine

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I took scout to the vet at noon today and she passed very peacefully in my arms. I had stayed up all night with her and just knew... she looked so exhausted. thankfully the wonderful Cats Only vet had time for us and they have a beautiful and calm room where I was able to sit comfortably with her in my lap and the vet was so sweet and made everything so easy. it was like she was just asleep but then it was so hard to let go. I am thankful for the peace she is in now. But even though I always knew how much this would hurt, this pain is so unbearable. I am just absolutely wrecked now.
 

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I took scout to the vet at noon today and she passed very peacefully in my arms. I had stayed up all night with her and just knew... she looked so exhausted. thankfully the wonderful Cats Only vet had time for us and they have a beautiful and calm room where I was able to sit comfortably with her in my lap and the vet was so sweet and made everything so easy. it was like she was just asleep but then it was so hard to let go. I am thankful for the peace she is in now. But even though I always knew how much this would hurt, this pain is so unbearable. I am just absolutely wrecked now.
SO sorry. From the large list of ailments your mentioned above, you obviously did what was the most compassionate thing, but Scout’s painless passing -in your arms, the best of all ways to go if it must happen- doesn’t make it any less agonizing. I was just reading George Bernard Shaw who said: “I can lose a friend like that by my death but not by hers.” On some deeper plane, she will always, always be a part of you.
 

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I took scout to the vet at noon today and she passed very peacefully in my arms. I had stayed up all night with her and just knew.
You knew her better than anyone else and helped ease her pain. :hugs: Prolonging the inevitable sometimes is harder for both cat and human. Her memories will remain in your heart forever and she is running free at the Bridge now with all the other cats who went before her. RIP dear Scout. :angel:
 

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I am very sorry for your loss of sweet Scout… I was broken up to hear this and am crying right there with you. I knew this would be your next post. I know how painful it is. I have been through this so many times and it never gets any easier. You made the right decision… she is at the bridge now waiting for you, and free from pain… run free sweet Scout, watch over your mom 🌈🐾🐈❤

FBF0F7B9-074F-439F-911E-F6B86D6C9EFE.jpeg
 
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