I can't understand this feral kitten at all! Please help

[Zara12345]

Hi! I apologise in advance for the lengthy message
I am a kitten fosterer and I rescued an extremely scared and feral kitten about 4 weeks ago. For the first 2 weeks since she arrived, she was in quarantine and during that time she wouldn't even let me touch her. She would snarl everytime I approached her and she would even swat when I tried to pet her. Eventually she did warm up to me a bit and I was able to pet her, carry her and form a bond with her during her quarantine period.

Once she finished her 14 day quarantine, it was finally time for her to meet my cats. At first even they were weirded out by her. She had absolutely no confidence and she was scared and feral even towards them. Simply put, she had a social problem both towards humans and other cats. Eventually she did warm up to my cats and she has become friends with them but my problem is that she has gone back to being feral, wild, mean and completely detached to me.

When it's just me and her in the room she is fine towards me however, when my other cats are around she starts thinking of me as her ENEMY and starts thinking of my cats as her friends. In front of other cats, everytime I would approach her she would run away snarling and scared but when were alone in a room without any cats she's not as scared and more confident. When I pick her up infront of other cats she becomes so wild but when we're alone, she's OK with being picked up.

In conclusion; she's OK with humans when it's just her and the human alone. But when she's surrounded by other cats she wants absolutely NOTHING to do with humans. She completely forgets that she bonded with me just 10 mins ago and she starts acting like I am a complete stranger there to eat her (lol). She clearly has a preference; she is very introverted and chooses to bond with whoever she is comfortable with the most; in this case she prefers the company of cats to humans but for some reason she loses all the trust she has on humans when she's surrounded by her cat friends. So how do I get her to accept the company of both cats and humans at the same time? How do I get her to trust humans as much as she trusts cats?

Please help! It has already been a month and I am really struggling with this foster. I need to see some progress so that I can start thinking about her adoption

 

[Furballsmom]

Hi
Do you have one adult cat that is really low key, that you could take with you into the room when you're with the kitten, repeatedly until the kitten comes to realize you're still ok even with a cat around, then maybe try it with two adult cats, then three etc?

I would give this one a lot of time. By the way, have you tried having someone else come over to see how she reacts, (just her alone without the other cats)?

 

[lollie]

It sounds like she gets along well with the other cats, although it seems you may have just put the cats and her together all at once with no introduction period? Being with the other cats has probably psychologically put her back to where she was when she was with other adult cats and the way they reacted to humans.

I think the best way she can learn is going to be from your own cats. Just sitting quietly with your other cats, by you or on your lap, with lots of head stroking and purrs. Don’t approach her, and let her observe your cats trusting you. Give them treats and attention. She will eventually choose to be part of the colony this way.

 

[Zara12345]

Hi
Do you have one adult cat that is really low key, that you could take with you into the room when you're with the kitten, repeatedly until the kitten comes to realize you're still ok even with a cat around, then maybe try it with two adult cats, then three etc?

I would give this one a lot of time. By the way, have you tried having someone else come over to see how she reacts, (just her alone without the other cats)?

It sounds like she gets along well with the other cats, although it seems you may have just put the cats and her together all at once with no introduction period? Being with the other cats has probably psychologically put her back to where she was when she was with other adult cats and the way they reacted to humans.

I think the best way she can learn is going to be from your own cats. Just sitting quietly with your other cats, by you or on your lap, with lots of head stroking and purrs. Don’t approach her, and let her observe your cats trusting you. Give them treats and attention. She will eventually choose to be part of the colony this way.

Thank you so much for the suggestions! The theory does make sense that she must have been overwhelmed when I introduced all my cats together at once. I generally don't follow the introduction steps to a tea as I have a lot of cats and also because by the time the 14 day quarantine period is over, my fosters are usually more than ready to leave the quarantine room to come and meet my other cats. Both my cats and my fosters can sense eachothers presence through the door (they can hear eachother and they know what's happening on either side).

My own cats are also quite accepting of my fosters. Some tolerate and I have one in particular who's the best with fosters. He's a rescue cat and has the most amazing temperament with people and other cats too so I tried letting him (only him) into the kitten room today with the feral foster and it worked out a LOT better than I could have hoped. He was quite, calm and lazy so she was reserved around him and she didn't complain when I pet her or picked her up.

I am now starting to see that putting her with a lot of cats at once must have put her back into her comfort zone (especially because I have a particularly excited and playful kitten whom she bonded with immediately and most of the aggression she showed me was when this kitten was around).

Thank you so much for all the suggestions!! I also can't emphasise enough how wholesome and lifesaving this site is!! Will keep you updated!!

 

[Zara12345]

Hi
Do you have one adult cat that is really low key, that you could take with you into the room when you're with the kitten, repeatedly until the kitten comes to realize you're still ok even with a cat around, then maybe try it with two adult cats, then three etc?

I would give this one a lot of time. By the way, have you tried having someone else come over to see how she reacts, (just her alone without the other cats)?

Also, yes she's OK with having my family around and the same conditions apply As long as they are no cats around she's OK with their presence

 

[Eurocat]

Hi -
Looking at it from another perspective maybe it‘s not the cats or the humans per se that freak her out and who she suddenly distances herself from, but perhaps she just feels understandably insecure and on shaky ground anyway and feels more vulnerable and threatened when another „being“ - be it cat or human enters the bubble in which she has just started to feel comfortable. Trying to approach her then would accentuate her feeling of vulnerability as not only does she then have to keep an eye on what‘s going on in her new slightly daunting bubble, but the other being from the other slightly daunting bubble is approaching too. I just think she‘s overchallenged and I think it‘s basically just a sign of insecurity. For the kitten everything is new and you say yourself that she was very feral and scared when she came to you. Not only did she have to get used to a human and their environment, but she was also presented with a whole new clan of cats. If you take all of this into consideration you’ve done a great job and she is doing incredibly well )
To be honest I think the more secure she becomes in general, the less this behaviour will arise.
Could you maybe just sit around with her for longer periods when the other cats are around and bring the parallel universes together (building her confidence first with lots of play and treats before you try to physically approach her with the cats around? ) I‘m sure when she feels more secure she will come of her own accord and learn from the other cats that she doesnt have to watch her back all the time.
My little ex semi-feral kitty still behaves extremely skittishly if I have picked her up and am holding her comfortably, she is relaxed and purring wildly and my partner walks up to us - although she knows him well, feels secure with him and really likes to be cuddled by him. But when I’m holding her and he approaches her pupils dilate and she wants to escape. She just feels more vulnerable when she‘s been picked up (we trained it very slowly over quite a few months) and although she really now enjoys it when noone else is around, she does obviously just feel more insecure in this state, maybe because she feels she has less control than being on the ground..
Anyway - that‘s just my take on it and I‘m sure things will improve - it will just take a little more time, patience and love )
All the best to you and the kitties ! )

 

[Zara12345]

Hi -
Looking at it from another perspective maybe it‘s not the cats or the humans per se that freak her out and who she suddenly distances herself from, but perhaps she just feels understandably insecure and on shaky ground anyway and feels more vulnerable and threatened when another „being“ - be it cat or human enters the bubble in which she has just started to feel comfortable. Trying to approach her then would accentuate her feeling of vulnerability as not only does she then have to keep an eye on what‘s going on in her new slightly daunting bubble, but the other being from the other slightly daunting bubble is approaching too. I just think she‘s overchallenged and I think it‘s basically just a sign of insecurity. For the kitten everything is new and you say yourself that she was very feral and scared when she came to you. Not only did she have to get used to a human and their environment, but she was also presented with a whole new clan of cats. If you take all of this into consideration you’ve done a great job and she is doing incredibly well )
To be honest I think the more secure she becomes in general, the less this behaviour will arise.
Could you maybe just sit around with her for longer periods when the other cats are around and bring the parallel universes together (building her confidence first with lots of play and treats before you try to physically approach her with the cats around? ) I‘m sure when she feels more secure she will come of her own accord and learn from the other cats that she doesnt have to watch her back all the time.
My little ex semi-feral kitty still behaves extremely skittishly if I have picked her up and am holding her comfortably, she is relaxed and purring wildly and my partner walks up to us - although she knows him well, feels secure with him and really likes to be cuddled by him. But when I’m holding her and he approaches her pupils dilate and she wants to escape. She just feels more vulnerable when she‘s been picked up (we trained it very slowly over quite a few months) and although she really now enjoys it when noone else is around, she does obviously just feel more insecure in this state, maybe because she feels she has less control than being on the ground..
Anyway - that‘s just my take on it and I‘m sure things will improve - it will just take a little more time, patience and love )
All the best to you and the kitties ! )

Thank you SO much for your opinion!
It is almost the exact same case with her and I completely undertand what you mean. She definitely lacks a lot of confidence both around me and the other cats. She also doesn't like to be picked up when she's around other cats coz she feels more vulnerable that way.

Moving forward, I am trying to get her comfortable and feeling safe in our environment one step at a time

 

[Zara12345]

Hers truly

Do not let those looks fool you hahha Wish I could post a video of her drama

 

[Furballsmom]

What a total sweetheart

 

[Zara12345]

What a total sweetheart

She really isn't

 

[Zara12345]

An Update!!

Aaah!! I am so ecstatic to say this but she's become one of now and she's doing so well! Turns out all she needed was her space and her own time to adjust to the new surrounding. Despite coming to me as a feral kitten, I am so proud to say that she's fully domesticated now and I am definitely going to start looking into her adoption.

I also want to say a massive thank you to everyone who took their time to give me their feedback and suggestions I seriously thought I had lost my way with this one but your words of encouragement helped boost my confidence that I had lost briefly and I was able to help this wonderfully cuddly kitty and bring out her awesome self which she was hiding under that feral exterior

Photos attached below; it's going to be a bit of a tough goodbye but she's just so adorable now
Last pic of her sandwiched between my mom and one of my kittens. Caught her mid-yawn

 

[Eurocat]

That‘s absolutely fantastic and she‘s beautiful!!

 

[Zara12345]

That‘s absolutely fantastic and she‘s beautiful!!

Thank you. She really is

 

[Furballsmom]

Wow, she's gorgeous! Thanks so much for such a lovely update!

 

[Zara12345]

Wow, she's gorgeous! Thanks so much for such a lovely update!

You're so welcome
And thank you for your advice. I started off with what you told me by introducing her to my older cat and then things started getting better from there

 

[Furballsmom]

then things started getting better from there

I'm so glad, that's wonderful to hear!