I Can’t Cry

[furrypurry]

i have never experienced this before. I did my share of crying before my Jaspurr was euthanized. And now I just feel like my heart is being stomped on, and I need to cry. But for some reason the tears won’t come. I miss him so much. One week ago today.

 

[Artscats]

I've noticed before and now that you can only make so much tears and then it seems like your body dries up. Happened to me this morning. Then this afternoon more tears. The supply replenished. You're absolutely right - it feels like a huge weight is sitting on you and you can't escape. I forced myself to go to the local track and walked a mile, crying on and off. But it helped me breathe.

 

[playerdark]

People react differently. I just lost my Simba two days ago and it is especially hard. I think you eventually get around and be able to go through the grief process. It will probably come unexpected. It happens to all of us.

 

[di and bob]

Sometimes the grief rears up and is so overwhelming it literally takes the breathe away and freezes our emotions. We become so drained that there is just nothing left, we are empty. You are not alone, and it is not something that will just stop or go away in the future. Like the ocean's waves it will return like a tsunami and overwhelm everything in it's path. It is grief. The only way I can cope with times like this is to purposefully turn my thoughts elsewhere, I take a walk, I go out to the garden and weed, I remember that my little one loved life so much, and the joys of living, and would want me to go on living life not in darkness and tears, but in sunshine and love, just what she left for me, what she taught me. It's hard, not having them in our physical life, but death cannot take that which never dies..... your love for each other. It is a part of your very soul and will be for eternity.
Take one day at a time... don't dwell the past, for it is set and cannot be changed, the good and the bad. The future is what we make it and is not ours yet. So live in the present, embrace what life is giving you, and make your world a better one to live in. You will always have your little one's love, you were made a better person because of it. Hold on to those precious memories of happier times, and thank the universe for sharing your life's journey for a little while and knowing his love. Take care.......

 

[les26]

Yes grief can be strange at times, sometimes we are so very sad and heartbroken while we know our cats are failing, and other times the adrenaline carries us through those times only to be hit later, I have been hit about a month later before and thought it was strange, but that's how it goes sometimes, but it all seems to even out and find a balance eventually whether we are hit before, during or after their passing.

Take care, this is a very rough time for you, we know.....

 

[playerdark]

We all deal with it in different ways. I, for instance, am now writing an orbituary for Simba. It's going to be a lengthy account of her life with pictures. Maybe I can post it here, but I'm not doing it for other's to read but for myself.
Maybe try that too.
I plan on put her in the ground in my garden when I get the ashes back and put a little statue from Toscano (a furniture store that has incredibly tacky stuff) on top of it, it helps me to plan for it.
Cat Memorial Angel Pet Statue - QL6080 - Design Toscano

 

[Artscats]

".....death cannot take that which never dies..... your love for each other."
This is what I needed, what I need to remind myself. Thank you.

 

[Plumeria]

Grief is unpredictable. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, and no set timeline. I have cried everyday since the vets found a tumor in Leroy’s abdomen. Almost as if my body had saved all my tears for this moment. I’m on the opposite spectrum from you in that I couldn’t stop my tears. I have better control now, but this is simply how my body responded to the loss.

This new world without our precious babies is a lonely one. You can still feel happiness, laugh, love, but there is always a sad undertone. Such is the nature of grief. Countless people in the world are going through it. We are definitely not alone.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

You will go through so many cycles. We talk about the stages of grief as if we move through them in some orderly fashion. The truth is, we are dragged through them willy-nilly, in no set order, sometimes doing one stage several times, sometimes doing several stages at once, and sometimes both of those things in combination, and with the "order" all which way. We grieve how we grieve, each of us. And we often feel a need to cry when no tears will come in that moment. My heart to yours.

 

[Artscats]

I never had kids myself. But I know what a parent goes thru when they lose a child. The sweet innocence that should never have met death. The ONLY thing that keeps me going is the belief in an afterlife. It has to be. There must be a place we go to just as there was a place we left when we we're born. Call it what you like, but it exists. We are spirit in bodies, for a while. And spirit cannot die. It's hard to picture George's happiness in spirit thru all these tears. But picturing him smiling - and cats do smile - keeps my mind off my loss.

 

[di and bob]

Oh yes, there HAS to be that place, no matter what the nonbelievers tell us. I have known the face of evil and came to know because of that there HAS to be an opposite, because for every action there is a reaction, that is nature.
Grief is something we endure, we get through, not over. Like said above, the 'stages' or steps of grief are the same for everyone, but how we get through them is as different as we are.
Through all the grief I have gone through with the loss of loved ones, there is one thing that stays constant. I truly know in my heart they loved life, and me, so much they would never want me to suffer because of them leaving. Just as I would want them to go on into the future and find joy and love once more, they want no different for me. Our hearts are big enough to hold many loves, each one different and unique. Each one can bring us infinite joy.
Every living thing begins to die the moment it is born. So as birth is our beginning, death is our end. Do not waste all that beautiful time in between on trying to change things beyond your control. Live and love to the fullest extent. The joy and beauty in the world is as we make it, we do not have to seek it, it is as we make it.