I am miserable going through the pain yet again.....

missrobbie

TCS Member
Thread starter
Kitten
Joined
Jul 6, 2011
Messages
6
Purraise
0
Location
NYC
I lost my adorable tabby Robbie last year on July 1st after a 9 month battle with kidney failure. I miss him so much, but in over a year, I could not bring myself to adopt a new cat because I didn't think I could ever handle the pain of losing a cat again. This Monday (July 4th) I was walking down my street and a few houses away, right next to an SUV, was a tiny little brown and white tabby kitten looking sad. Looked just like Robbie, too except no white bib or paws. He (or she) did not shy away when I stooped down to pick it up! It was all skin and bones, tiny!!! I held it in the crook of my arm and my heart melted. It had been put in my path for me to find and rescue! I walked up and down the entire block to see if I could maybe see another one that might lead me to his mom and litter mates, or maybe someone who could give me some info on any queens and kittens in the neighborhood - but the only person I spoke to was a nasty woman who informed me that her children had told her about the kitten "yesterday" - ok, so obviously the poor thing had been on its own for a couple of days now. I took it home and my mom's home health aide (my mom is 82 and lives with me) watched it for me while I ran out to the store to pick up some supplies...formula, a bottle, a bed, etc. OK maybe I was a little hasty. When I got home the kitten was dozing on my mom's legs with her cradling its little body! I let it sleep then when it woke up I tried a little formula, then some cat milk, finally it actually ate (greedily!) some canned kitten food! I tried calling some animal hospitals but nothing was open on July 4th except this one place too far away (I have no car). But I made an appointment to take little Julio or Julia there the next day after work to get him/her checked out then boarded for a while till it was a little stronger. I had it all of July 4th, loved it dearly! was so sweet....the next day I had to go to work, I left it in my room with the door closed and my mom's aide checked on it constantly and fed it, etc. Was fine...still very weak - I regret that I told her not to put it in bed with my mom because I was still a little afraid of fleas, etc - and my mom is 82 and pretty unwell herself. I struggled through work yesterday looking forward to getting home and getting my little kitty sent from above to the vet and well and on its way to a life with me...I was even daydreaming about how cute it would grow up to be....am I pathetic or what.....I took her there and paid close to $400 for all tests to be done, boarding, sub-q etc....she weighed .6 lbs (is that like 9 oz?) and was extremely dehydrated but had NO fleas btw!....the vet told me that he was confident I would probably have her back by the end of the week.....I left her overnight fully trusting that this would happen. I got a call from the vet today at 11:30 am - she died, apparently could not tolerate the de-worming...saddest part is she tested negative for everything else. I am in shock and absolutely, utterly miserable. I set myself up for this because I miss Robbie so much, so here I am again going through the pain. I did manage to take three pictures of her while she was sleeping on my mom that I will post when I feel a little better, right now I can't bring myself to look at them. OMG am I crazy? I guess I am for picking up a little feral kitten and expecting everything to turn out great, believing she had been put in my path.
 

katachtig

Moderator
Staff Member
Admin
Joined
Jun 25, 2005
Messages
23,803
Purraise
1,550
Location
Colorado
I'm so sorry you lost this little one. But perhaps you were meant to cross paths with her and give her comfort and love at the end.
 

catpapa

TCS Member
Young Cat
Joined
Feb 11, 2008
Messages
57
Purraise
4
Location
Chicago Burb
The only one I see in your post that actually gave that little kitty a chance, was you.

I truly believe that little bundle of fur was meant to find you. No matter how long you were together, look how that little fur ball made you feel.

Please be gentle with yourself. You did nothing wrong.

It sounds like your the kind of person that any little kitty would be lucky to have, to take care of them.

I hope you give yourself a chance to love another cat, and give a cat the chance at a life with you, as well.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #6

missrobbie

TCS Member
Thread starter
Kitten
Joined
Jul 6, 2011
Messages
6
Purraise
0
Location
NYC
I really appreciate it! I am reading other posts and I am heartened, not by anybody's pain but by the knowledge that out there are cat and animal lovers like myself who feel terrible when they lose a pet and can admit it. I will not even post here some of the insensitive comments I have gotten at work. But here are the three pictures I took my of my little angel who gave me a lot of pleasure and joy on July 4th.


 

katachtig

Moderator
Staff Member
Admin
Joined
Jun 25, 2005
Messages
23,803
Purraise
1,550
Location
Colorado
She is so precious. I can see why you are heartbroken at her loss.
 

snuffy's mom

TCS Member
Young Cat
Joined
Mar 27, 2003
Messages
29
Purraise
3
Location
Connecticut
So sorry for your loss, it hurts no less no matter how long you have them. I know the feeling I have lost a few myself.
 

pami

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Jun 16, 2006
Messages
17,482
Purraise
17
Location
Birmingham
Aww she is a precious angel... rest peacefully baby girl


I am so very sorry for the loss you have experienced. It is not easy when you are grieving, being around people who have no regard for your pain because "it was just a cat".

Hopefully, another kitty will find his/her way to you again sometime soon
 

81lives

TCS Member
Young Cat
Joined
Jul 12, 2011
Messages
27
Purraise
10
I am so sorry for your loss. I have felt the same thing before, that a cat was brought into my path, and I definitely think these things happen for a reason. Even in the short time that she was with you, she may have felt the only love and comfort she had ever known. You made her last hours happy ones--she looks so content (and adorable!) in the pictures.
 

ladygananoque

TCS Member
Adult Cat
Joined
Jun 23, 2010
Messages
112
Purraise
2
Im so sad reading your story but im happy knowing that the little kitty found someone who cared. RIP little girl and have fun at the rainbow bridge.
 

resqchick

TCS Member
Super Cat
Joined
Oct 23, 2006
Messages
1,080
Purraise
14
Location
Chasing Da Bird...
I'm so sorry that you lost your little angel, I know you made her final day one of love and comfort.

When you are ready, another kitty will come into your life, and bring you many years of joy.
 

feralvr

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Dec 30, 2010
Messages
18,473
Purraise
679
Location
Northwest Indiana
Just heartbreaking
. So very sorry for your little angel
. She was so lucky to have you and your love and I am sure she is now freely playing at the bridge and showering you with thanks for your kindness and love
.

RIP little one
an angel in life and now in heaven
 
Top