I am losing my baby, Mittens, and feel so lost and hopeless.

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Loving Mickey

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I am so sorry you are going through this, it is really hard. Nothing anyone can say or do will help but Mittens knows you are there for him and how much he is loved. The fact that he is purring means he is content to be with you. Sending you both hugs and my thoughts are with you.
Thank You!
Yes , it is so difficult to deal with this. My poor Mittens never deserved any of this. No kitty does. They are so innocent. He was doing fine until one day he wasn't. Yes , he is so very loved. I only hope he knows how much.
Thanks for the hugs , you are too sweet!
 
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Loving Mickey

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Loving Mickey

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Of course I remember you, Loving Mickey Loving Mickey , on the crossing the Bridge forum before, with Mickey......
Words will never take away your pain, but i hope you will find that knowing there are others out here that will be with you in spirit, who can empathize with your loneliness and helplessness, and will stay beside you during this time of pain and can be of a tremendous comfort. To share one's pain is a way to let a little of it go.
I know of your huge heart and the love you have to offer these little ones. That is why you are so filled with pain right now. it is alright to be sad, to be grieving for what is to come, to feel angry and cheated. Grieving is all those things, and though you may feel you can prepare for what is in the future, there is no way to prepare your heart when the time finally arrives.
Your sweet Mittens knows he is loved, and to him that is all that matters. Cats live one day at a time,to have you nearby, to know that you will be there, and that you are trying to help him, is all that he cares about. It is all you can do and it is all that matters. Just love him as hard and for as long as you can. Offer comfort in the bad times, do what you can medically, and above all know his soul and yours will be forever entertwined, that love is spiritual and will be with you forever. Live these times as you know he would do for you if you were the one hurting. Be there, give unconditional love, and above all, live one day at a time,,,,,,,,,
Thank You so much for your sweet and kind words.
Also , happy to know that you remember me. I will always remember you.
You were one of the first TCS members I got to know , yes through my posts about Mickey. You were so kind then and still are. I always cry at all your responses to members in need. Your words mean so much to so many people on this site. You are an asset to this site. I hope one day I can bring words of wisdom and courage to others like you do .
I do hope Mittens realizes how loved he truly is. I am not leaving his side.
He has been by my side the last few days. I am trying my best to comfort him , seem like he only wants to sleep.
 
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Loving Mickey

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Mittens is still purring. He is happy and that is what matters most.

Be happy that he is happy.

If you are upset he will notice and it will affect him.

Loosing is part of loving.

Plenty of time to grieve latter.

Perhaps spend this time living and loving with mittens.

Hugs, kisses, spoil him. Make every day count.
Thanks so much for your response!
Yes , he is right my by my side. I think he wants me near him. I keep telling him that mommy is right here and she loves you so much. My heart is breaking as I know I am losing him. Don't really know what to do but comfort him.
 
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Loving Mickey

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I'm so sorry you are going thru this. Your grief will make you feel like you didn't do enough, that you could have tried harder, that you may have missed something, but please know that you have provided him with more than enough. Mittens will always be grateful for everything you've done for him. You did not fail him. You have provided him will all the care any kitty would be lucky to have. He knows a life with you that is full of love, compassion and kindness, which he will have until the end and carry with him beyond. You have done right by him and he knows it.
It's not easy, but I do hope you find peace and comfort during his final times knowing what an amazing life you were able to give your Mittens.
Yes , exactly! I feel that I should have been able to help him more to give him more time. He had a hard life before I adopted him and he deserves more now. He was such a shy scared kitty when I first adopted him. He seemed so frightened that my heart broke for him. Now , he enjoys running all over the house , sleeping on beds , having plenty of food , and so much love. He is so sweet. He lets you give him all his medicine without fighting you. Even his vet says that he is so good , very mellow cat.
 
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Loving Mickey

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Oh, Loving Mickey Loving Mickey , I'm so sorry to hear this.

First things first, and I can't say this strongly enough - It is not your fault!!! You did nothing to cause this. You feel guilty because if there were something that you did wrong, and you could just figure out what that "something" was, you could prevent this from ever happening again, and on some level you'd rather feel guilty than helpless. This is perfectly normal; I, also, would prefer to feel guilty than helpless. The only problem is that it isn't based in reality. We don't know enough about CKD in cats to prevent or cure it. Maybe someday we will, but not now.

Second, your life does have meaning, and will continue to be meaningful after you lose Mittens, just as it continued to be meaningful after you lost Mickey. Losing Mittens will be painful. You'll need to grieve, maybe for a long time, but you will continue to be a loving person, and the world needs all the loving people we can get.

Third, I'll send you a private message.

Margret
Yes , you are right. I feel so guilty that I can't save him and give him more time. I wish with all my heart that I could help him more. I tried , I truly did.
My husband says that no one could have done more for Mittens than I did.
If the vet recommended more tests I did it. If he said try more medicine , I did it. I didn't care how much anything costs , I just wanted Mittens to have more time. I never had a cat with CKD , so didn't know what to expect. I know some kitties respond well to treatment. I know some cats even on this site are doing well. Mittens was not so lucky though.
I am still grieving over Mickey , over five years later. The only thing about Mickey though is he always had a good life. I got Mickey when he was only about 6 months old.
I wanted so much to give Mittens a great life too. I thought I was , until all this.
I so think I failed him. Why couldn't I help him more??
I will have to check out your private message!
 
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Loving Mickey

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I am so sorry you are loosing him! I would suggest you look at god crossing the bridge forum & start looking for a vet that can do a home visit if need be (to let him go peacefully.)

I have not heard one owner who didn’t second guess their choices/ feel guilty. Putting Dante down broke my heart but I did it for him, so he wouldn’t suffer. Over a year later, I still wish I could have saved him ..... if only a thousand things! So take lots of videos & pictures (& let his passing be as peaceful as possible.)

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Oh , how I know what you mean. We always want to save them and our heart does not understand why we can't.
Luckily , Mittens just seems weak and wants to sleep. I could never euthanize (I can't play God). However , I think Mittens knows that and will spare me .
May I say though that I do respect any pet owner who chooses to go that route. They only want what is best for their beloved pet. , just as I do.
The little orange kitty you posted looks like my Mittens.
He is so sweet looking just like the kitty in the photo.
Thanks for the hugs!
 
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Loving Mickey

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I remember you, too, and I am very sorry this is happening to Mittens, but I am glad you came to TCS to share your sorrow. I can't add to the lovely responses you've already gotten, except to hop you can enjoy Mittens in the time you have left and give him all the love you can. When the time comes, you will have done all you could. Blessings.:vibes::vibes::vibes:
Thanks for remembering me , so sweet of you!
Yes , this site is amazing.
You have all been so kind in your responses. It is so nice to know that people care. Thanks for making me feel that I am not alone.
 
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Loving Mickey

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Loving Mickey,

I know so well what you're feeling. I've lost two beloved, extra-special cats after medical battles (one less than two weeks ago), and while in my head I know I did all I can for them, I feel like I let them down. With the first one, the guilt was a surprise to me... I had never lost someone who depended on me before (human or otherwise), but in my grief, I talked to a lot of people who had gone through the same thing, and they all felt guilt. Guilt is a monster, and when you lose a pet, it will come for you, guaranteed, and it will lie to you. It's not you who is at fault!

We love our kitties so much and want to protect them from everything, and we succeed for a while... maybe a long while, well over a decade. Eventually, though, something comes along and we can't help them this time. We knew it was coming when we adopted our sweet little companions, but somehow it comes as a surprise anyway. We're only humans, and we can only do so much. The rest of it is out of our hands.

This is my first post here... I was just starting to read the forum and I saw this, and man, I could have written this. I don't know how many times that my sweet cat didn't deserve any of this. He was all heart, and I felt (and feel) so bad that I could not save him. I tried, with every resource I had, but it was out of my hands. I kept telling him how much I would be lost without him, how much he's meant to me over the years, and how sorry I was that I couldn't help him. He was purring as I pet him and told him all of this, and I tried to tell myself not to grieve before he was gone, but my heart was breaking. Believe me, you're not alone.

Please don't think your life has no meaning without your sweet boy. I know he is a part of you and it feels like you're being torn in two, but that's only because you love so much. You can't have a love like that and not be torn up when things like this happen. My life revolved around my cat, maybe a bit too much, but I didn't care; I loved it, and so did he, and he had a wonderful, successful life, and I am sure your kitty did too. People who feel the loss as deeply as you obviously are are too loving to ever think otherwise.

I am very sorry for what is happening to your sweet cat, and to you as a result.
Oh I am so so sorry for your losses. I don't even know what to say , but my heart breaks for the pain you are going through as well.
It was so sweet of you to respond to my post , to try and comfort me , when you are hurting as well. You are so kind and thoughtful.
Yes , everything you wrote is exactly how I am feeling. You get it , and understand completely!
My life has revolved around Mittens , especially through this illness.
I stayed home so I could give him his medicines , and just make sure he was okay. I tried to give him my all ever since I adopted him. He is so sweet and deserves only the best. I always tried my best to give him that , but now I feel I failed.
Thanks again for your words of comfort.
I hope you take some of your own words to heart.
 
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Loving Mickey

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I'm so sorry for you, I know how you feel, because I was there before...

Might I ask you what kind of medications your vet prescribed and what is going on with Mittens?
Can we know the blood works?
Hi Antonio yes , I do know you understand how I feel.
It is so sweet of you to respond to my thread.
Sure , I can tell you the medications.
The vet started him on :
Azodyl
Enalapril
Cerenia
Mirtazapine
Sub q fluids
Mittens remained on those medications for couple of months.
Things were stable.
At first , he repeated blood tests once a month , things didn't improve but were stable even his weight.
Vet repeated blood work two months later and things were worst.
Numbers had almost doubled.
Told him I wanted to keep trying so added more medication.
Added:
Epakitin
Pet - Tonic
I was also giving Miralax and pumpkin for constipation.
Also , on prescription renal food.
I tried it all and gave it my best.
Also , Mittens was getting B- 12 injections and an injection to help the anemia after the numbers went higher.
He was supposed to repeat blood work next week but that won't happen.
I have the copies of his last three blood works.
Will find them and post them here later.
Thanks again for caring so much.
You have such a warm heart!
 
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Loving Mickey

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What food are you feeding her? I have heard some cats with kidney disease do great on raw. Maybe it will help StackPath
He is on prescription renal food. He is getting very picky now though and has lost a pound.
Vet says give him whatever he will eat for now since he needs the nourishment.
Thanks for caring!
 
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Loving Mickey

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Prayers for Mittens to get better..And Prayers for you to be able to cope with things...:vibes::alright::redheartpump::catlove::catrub::petcat:🙏
Thank You so much!
Mittens and I could use all the prayers in the world to help us cop with all this.
 
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Loving Mickey

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My thoughts and prayers are with you. I lost both my beloved cats a year apart to kidney failure. It’s so hard to lose a beloved cat. Mine were both 16 when they passed. I’m sorry you have to go through this. We live much longer than them which makes it so sad. If only they were with us as a lifelong companion...😢❤
Thanks so much for responding and all the prayers!
So sorry for the loss of your precious kitties.
My vet says kidney disease is so evil. He himself lost three of his own kitties to it. They were older than Mittens thought. My vet estimates Mittens age as just about 10 years old. When I adopted him they said he was younger but either way 10 is still too young and he is my baby.
 

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I am also sending prayers to you and Mittens.
We put our Butchie cat to sleep last week because of kidney disease. I miss him like crazy . He was 19 so we had many great years together . I am thankful for that but still so hard to see the toll this disease took on him.
Butchie was a wild one. He would not tolerate any meds, fluids, so our options were limited.
I am so sorry you are going through this .
 

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I am all to familiar with the feeling of guilt, but it is not your fault. It is NOT your fault at all. What is your fault, however, is how happy that cat seems. He's purring. He loves you, you love him. You've given him a beautiful life and you did everything you could to help him and I am SURE he knows that.

I am so sorry you are going through this and I wish I could hug you. I'm so sorry.
 
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Loving Mickey

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I am also sending prayers to you and Mittens.
We put our Butchie cat to sleep last week because of kidney disease. I miss him like crazy . He was 19 so we had many great years together . I am thankful for that but still so hard to see the toll this disease took on him.
Butchie was a wild one. He would not tolerate any meds, fluids, so our options were limited.
I am so sorry you are going through this .
Thank You so much for the prayers! I can sure use them.
I am so sorry about your sweet Butchie. Yes , I know how much you must miss him. The house must seem so empty no matter how many other kitties you may have. Each one is special and so missed when they must leave us.
Yes , Mittens is a very mellow cat. He takes all his medications so well , but it is not helping. I still try and so does he.
Thanks again for the prayers!
 
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Loving Mickey

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I am all to familiar with the feeling of guilt, but it is not your fault. It is NOT your fault at all. What is your fault, however, is how happy that cat seems. He's purring. He loves you, you love him. You've given him a beautiful life and you did everything you could to help him and I am SURE he knows that.

I am so sorry you are going through this and I wish I could hug you. I'm so sorry.
Thanks so much for saying it is not my fault. My head knows that is true , but my heart thinks differently. I hear about so many other cats being diagnosed with CKD but they still go on for many more months , some even years. Why not my Mittens? Why can't he have some more time?
That is why I think it is me that is doing something wrong. I follow his vets orders and make sure he gets all his medications. It really is no problem as he takes them so well. He is just the sweetest kitty and deserves so much more. I can't help but think it is , that I am failing him. He expects me to help him and I can't seem to.
Yes , I do love him so very much and I hope he does know that. I always tried to do the best for him. Everything I do is for my kitties because they deserve only the very best.
 

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It seems you are doing it all right, the meds and treatments you are giving Mittens are what I would do in your place, it's what I did when my sweet Lola had CKD, you are doing even more, so you have no faults, and will have no regrets. Mittens couldn't have a better mom and won't blame you for anything.
It's not your fault, not your vet's, not Mittens's.
The evil fate is to blame.
If you and your vet think that nothing more can be done for Mittens, the only thing you can do now is to give him all the love you have, and let him understand that he's the best cat on earth, that you would like to keep him here forever but someone needs him somewhere else, his mission has to continue in a different place, but that you'll never forget him and one day you will be together again and forever.
My hugs to you and Mittens :hugs:
 
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