I Am Constantly Feeling Guilty

[Omardufromage]

Hey, so my fiance recently adopted a wonderful 8 week old orange tabby we named Meatball. He is extremely playful and such a cuddly and loving thing already. My only issue is that I have a 14 year old tabby who I took in after my mother passed. She always used to have cat friends and got along with other cats but even after using the introduction methods the little one keeps pouncing on her and making her meow and run in fear. I keep them separated and do short visits but I feel so guilty and horrible on the inside like I am letting her down and just creating a bad environment and I am lost and don't know what to do anymore.

 

[danteshuman]

I wouldn't feel guilty. I would also let them work it out & only separate them when you are asleep or gone. Or you can try re-introducing them & building up your older cat's confidence.

 

[verna davies]

It will take a while for your older cat to accept the kitten. How long have you had the kitten? My cat was 16 when I brought a new kitten home. There was a lot of hissing and spitting for more than a month but they got used to each other and became friends. Don't give up, patience is the answer

 

[Omardufromage]

It will take a while for your older cat to accept the kitten. How long have you had the kitten? My cat was 16 when I brought a new kitten home. There was a lot of hissing and spitting for more than a month but they got used to each other and became friends. Don't give up, patience is the answer

Was it something you just let them work out or did you let them see each other over supervised visits until things clicked?

 

[verna davies]

Always supervised for the first week until they got used to each others smells then short periods with me close by so I could hear them and intervene if need be. After about 14 days they just tolerated each other and shortly after that they became friends. Please keep us updated

 

[Omardufromage]

I allowed them a short visit today and I kept praising my older cat and telling her how much I love her while the little one roamed around. She didn't want to be anywhere near him and he did pounce on her once which made her meow and try to get away from him. I seperated them after that and now the little one is playing in his own area.

 

[verna davies]

Your doing a good job. Keep giving them supervised time together and they will get used to each other. Your doing the right thing in praising your older cat, there's bound to be a little jealousy. They need to learn how to play together and that may be something you can teach them, time consuming I know but well worth it.

 

[verna davies]

Your doing a good job. Keep giving them supervised time together and they will get used to each other. Your doing the right thing in praising your older cat, there's bound to be a little jealousy. They need to learn how to play together and that may be something you can teach them, time consuming I know but well worth it.

 

[Omardufromage]

How would I go about teaching them that? I have used a toy and they both semi played with it until he pounced on her, then playtime was over .

 

[danteshuman]

By having a feather wand in each hand and making the toy more interesting then her. He will learn manners, eventually.

 

[Omardufromage]

We had another supervised session tonight and it seemed to be a little better! My older one sat on the couch arm while he played with the wand as I praised her. She enjoyed a couple bats at it too! He still tried to jump all over her but she gave him a growl and only swatted once and he seemed to get the message! Not sure if that's improvement over her hissing and running or not but at least she seems more playful!

 

[danteshuman]

Yeah! And yes that is an improvement

 

[Omardufromage]

So my older cat seems to tolerate when the kitten is around and only hisses/growls if he punces or pretty much gets close. She does, however, always seem annoyed/stressed whenever they are in the same room and doesn't even bother with things that have his scent. Is this normal behavior that will change overtime with continued visits or am I missing Something?

 

[danteshuman]

It sounds normal to me.

 

[Omardufromage]

Today they both slept on my bed apart from each other for about two hours then about 30 minutes later my kitten approached my older cat and my older cat bit him hard on the ear. There wasn't any blood or puncture holes but he did let out a loud yip.

 

[susanm9006]

Today they both slept on my bed apart from each other for about two hours then about 30 minutes later my kitten approached my older cat and my older cat bit him hard on the ear. There wasn't any blood or puncture holes but he did let out a loud yip.

Still pretty normal. The older cat reaction tells the kitten that she will be tolerated but that doesn’t mean that they are friends.

 

[sweetblackpaws]

Totally normal and you are doing a great job! Sometimes they just need "time out" and need to be separated. Sometimes my boy cat gets too wild and they will be playing one minute and the next minute he is on the other one, biting her neck, etc. Then he gets "time out" and has to be separated into another room.

 

[Omardufromage]

It's great to hear I am ding the right thing when I have had so much anxiety over this. MEATBALL is currently playing with the wand while my older cat sits on the couch next to me watching! Thank you all so much for your insight so far!

 

[Omardufromage]

Today seemed like a big set back. We were having a supervised visit like normal and my little one just kept trying to attack my older cat. I don't believe she wants to hurt him at all when he does it but I think he will just keep doing it because of That! Is there any way I can help make him stop without stressing her out so much? This was after an hour of play time too when he seemed to be getting tired .

 

[Letta]

Hey so sorry you did not have any answer. How are things now? Not sure to understand your message: your problem was that the new cat play attacks the older cat which annoys her?