I am absolutely heartbroken and regretful over my Meela having to be put down

[Antonio65]

This happened with Lola when she was very very young.
We were watching TV one night and she was lying on my legs, I looked at her, it seemed to me she wasn't breathing. I pulled her up, she was like an empty sack, her head tilted backwards!
My heart stopped, I shook her, nothing, I yelled, then, as she was waking from a beautiful dream, she sweetly said "Meow"!

They are playing with our lives

 

[meelasmom]

I swear my heart stopped beating for a moment...it was really scary

 

[les26]

Oh, you don't need that kind of scare, especially right now! I know the feeling, you think they have passed on, they lay so still, your heart almost stops! Glad all is okay, and yes the vacuum cleaner test will help sort things out I would think!

 

[meelasmom]

I hope to too! If this little guy is deaf and stays with me...i'll need ANOTHER name..haha

 

[zed xyzed]

beautiful kittens

 

[meelasmom]

Thank you Zed. I am realizing that I am not past losing Meela. I found myself crying a lot yesterday over her. It comes and goes in waves. These kittens help, but will never replace Meela.

 

[meelasmom]

In keeping with my tribute to my story about Meela and the struggle, I want to introduce you to the newest member of my family. I finally came up with a name. The other name I wrestled around was Mimi. It had the beginning sound of Meela and sounded like the end of my Neeni's name. After thinking about it a while, I decided I needed to do something different and start fresh. I didn't want to end up calling my new little girl Meela or Neeni. I didn't want to compare them. However, I will say that this little girl does look similar to what Meela did when she was little. This one is not deaf and the colors in her haven't developed as to if she will have odd eyes or not.

Everyone, please meet Ivy! I fell in love with her the minute I met her at day one. Tomorrow she will be 6 weeks old.

 

[Alejandra Rico]

She is quite a beautiful girl! I am glad you found a nice mame for her, I really like it

 

[meelasmom]

Thank you Alejandra. I am so happy I have her. She was the white girl I prayed for. I will post pictures of all 4 of them tomorrow since they will be 6 weeks. They are a lot of fun.

 

[Antonio65]

A wondeful short name for a wondeful tiny cat!
Cats love short names, it's easier for them to recognize it. Wow, look at those little eyes!

I've been away for a while due to a special treatment for my cat Pallina, but now I'm back

 

[les26]

Oh my gosh what a doll!!! If we had her she would certainly be our little "Snowball", a name we want to put with an all white cat but don't know if that will ever happen, they will outlive Deb & I and it is costly with the 9 cats, but she is a doll, congrats!!!

And I like the similarities to our stories, she is a tribute to your kitties who have passed just like Sylvester is to mine, but they are their own cats and "new life", such heart touching stories....

I hope you have MANY years together, best wishes!!!

 

[les26]

I've been away for a while due to a special treatment for my cat Pallina, but now I'm back

I hope that all is well?!

 

[Antonio65]

I hope that all is well?!

Thanks les26 , it seems that all went fine. I'm updating my thread about her Pallina, Hyperthyroid Cat

 

[les26]

Okay glad to hear it went well, best of luck with it!!

 

[les26]

Okay, I showed Deb the pictures of little Ivy and she kept saying "oh...my...gosh, look at that cat!!! I don't think it's going to work out for her, we'll have to take it!" LOL!!!!

Such a cutie pie, so so cute!!!

 

[di and bob]

You just have to feel Meela's presence when you are with those kittens. It is so bittersweet. Just try to remember all Meela would ever want for you is for you to be happy. She is a beautiful part of your past, Ivy is your future. You have a big enough heart to give many a lot of love, it is giving honor to Meela when you share what she gave to you, entrusted to you. Her love will guide and keep you, now and forever.

 

[CatCake]

I'm so sorry for your loss.
You did her a huge favour for her.
She was in pain and agony, you did the right thing..
We will always be here for you like a big family

RIP sweet meela.......

 

[meelasmom]

Thank you all so very much. Ivy makes me so happy. It's hard to bond with just her when her siblings are around because all they want to do is play, climb, chase and wrestle. I do grab her and hold her, kiss her, and talk to her while looking into her eyes so she is becoming a little more mine. They are so funny when they are playing. It's moments like that that you can't help but smile and laugh. They are all so innocent. I love her so much and have found a couple small similarities between her and Meela.

I know right now that if Meela were here, she would be playing mommy to them. She loved babies. I miss her so much!

Your kind words brought tears to my eyes. You all know my struggle and the long rocky road it was to get here. I will never be over Meela and I will never stop loving her in my heart, but I know I have to move on. It's just been really hard to do that. I think Ivy will help me get there.

 

[ericsmom1000]

Meelasmom, I just finished reading your post about Meela. I am so very sorry for your loss. FIP is a bitch of a disease, as are distemper, parvo and FIV, to name a few others. I rescued animals for 12 years here in the Los Angeles area, and took in senior cats and dogs, and those with special needs because I knew they had no chance of being adopted. A good job as a legal secretary allowed me to support two veterinary hospitals -- one local, another a specialist -- and also paid for the cremations of so many at the Los Angeles Pet Cemetery. I have had to euthanize animals for various reasons -- cancer, distemper, old age, neurological problems. It was never easy to do so, but I loved them enough to let them go when the time came. Meela's earthly journey was very brief, but she leaves you with loving memories. Her body was shutting down -- she was happy to be free of it. Kicking yourself with the "what-ifs" does not bring Meela back, and it's not what she would want you to do. She is healthy and at peace now. When the time is right, she will bring a needy cat into your life. She is grateful she had a home, rather than suffering and dying on the streets, as so many do -- just another unwanted cat whose body is scooped up by Animal Control, and put in a garbage bag. Meela died with dignity, and knowing she was loved. And that's what she wants you to remember.

 

[meelasmom]

Thank so much for your kind words. I still find myself crying over losing Meela. I can't go past her grave without saying hi and when I stop the tears roll. A student came into my office the other day and saw Ivy on my computer background. She asked me who it was, so I told her. Then she saw my picture of Meela and asked me about her. I told her the short version of the story and I didn't cry, but I was very choked up. I was telling my son about it and as I told him, I did start crying. I wasn't sobbing. I just can't talk about that day and what happened, not without losing it.

I can, however, say things like Meela used to do this or Meela would have loved Ivy. That's about it. It's still very hard. I am seeing some similarities with Ivy and her, too. Ivy has the same feel of the fur, long but not real thick like her brothers. I also am pretty sure, maybe 75% that Ivy will have the blue and green eyes. It appears that at least one of the boys will, too. I really wish I could keep all 4 of them. They have become my babies. When i let them out, they follow me and then disperse chasing each other, climbing curtains and raising you know what. Ivy is learning her name. She is so much easier to pick out of the 3 than she used to be. I bring all 4 into my room on my bed for about an hour every night. Then never try to leave, but play the entire time. I take the 3 and put them to bed and leave Ivy with me for a half hour or so. She has learned that she belongs in my lap. I just love this little girl so much.

Someone asked me a few weeks ago if it was a good idea keeping her. When I asked why they asked me that, they said, "well essentially, you are replacing Meela". It hurt my feelings at first but then I simply said, "Meela could never and will never be replaced". Ivy is not Meela. Ivy is Ivy. She is just a white girl with possible green and blue eyes like Meela, but that's it. She has some traits of Meela, but that's just her...IVY.
I think I really am doing better. When I had my breakdown a couple weeks ago I said to myself and to Meela, I would have traded every cat her for you to live and be here right now. I didn't mean Ivy or Abby, but the rest I would have if there was a choice. I still miss her every single day and I still live with my regrets every day, too.