Hyper 2 year old???

[symplestytches]

as the title suggests, I have a recently adopted 2 year old male of unknown origins, other than he was a friendly community stray. We have had him for about a month now, and as he emerges from his shell, we have found he is a bit of an aggressive player. In the mornings he likes to nip at calves and hands first upon meeting first thing in the morning (he's in a bedroom with toys and cat tower/gym thing, we have another cat, a 10 year old that hisses when he comes close). He wants to chase da-bird and jump very high and doesn't care how he lands as long as he's playing. I don't allow the small humans to go into his room in the mornings due to this high energy, and I don't want them to have any fear towards him. I've started to go in directly with da-bird so he's distracted by it and doesn't try to nip us to initiate play.

I guess the question is: Is this normal 2-year old behavior? or male behavior? I'm hoping over time he'll calm down enough for me to trust him with the children, since they are 3 and 1 year olds. our 10 year old cat is so chill she and they coexist fine. (small humans are always supervised very closely with new cat, just curious how long until I can relax a tiny bit when they go near each other)

 

[susanm9006]

It is definitely normal for a healthy two year old cat to be that active. Some will remain very active until they reach their senior years. But was spending some or a good portion(?) of his day in a room by himself isn’t helping. As a young cat he needs lots of room to run and play. Hopefully you will be able to give that to him soon.

But being active doesn’t mean that he can’t have some manners. When he nips at your calves or hands, stop and face him and give him a big loud hiss. That should stop him and let him know what he is doing isn’t okay.

 

[ArtNJ]

Some cats do stuff like that to get attention yeah, and you have to train them not too. One of mine that is as gentle as pie will clap his hands on you when he really wants your attention (which is rarer than a nibble, but the same idea). A loud "no" coupled with removing and ignoring the cat when he does that should work, over time.

Most cats don't really like kids in that age range and avoid them like the plague, so it is far from a sure thing they would get nibbled on anyway. And if they did, and really made a lot of noise, I imagine it would be one and done, and you'd be where you are going to end up anyway, which is the cat avoiding the children. If he doesn't break the skin, it doesn't strike me as a big risk. An aggressive cat is a 10x bigger problem than a playful nibbler.

You can try to teach the 3 year old to approach gently, be patient and use a light touch. Maybe that works sometimes? Never did for me. Its likely a losing battle to be honest. Cats are not puppies; their toleration for toddlers is usually less.

I guess what I'm saying is that if the cat isn't aggressive (ie this is only for attention) and has never broken the skin, maybe you don't need to worry about it since the cat will be avoiding the toddler one way or another soon enough. When I say don't worry...obviously supervise at first. If he has broken the skin, then yep, keep isolating him from the kids until you can train him not to nip.

 

[aliceneko]

It's not unusual at all for a two year old to behave in the way your cat is behaving. Toffee is two as well, and we say he's a kitten in an adult cat's body, because we're very much still in the curious kitten stage and we don't think he'll grow out of it, since he's had the same personality since we adopted him. It's just who he is.

 

[symplestytches]

A ArtNJ - oh my 3 year old knows not to approach too quickly, to work the finger wiggles to indicate friendly pets are being offered, etc. He even knows he can safely hug my other cat and that she will tolerate more. I'm more worried about the new cat trying to rough play with three humans haha. This morning kitty boy tried to lunge at the 1 year old when all she was doing was getting up from a seated position. I had to startle him so he wouldn't actually jump at her head. To avoid this in the future I won't be allowing both children into the cat room at the same time, especially in the mornings when he seems the most energetic. I think the issue was the smaller space, he might have felt he had nowhere to hide.

susanm9006 - I'm trying to split the day up so that throughout the day, each cat is getting about half the free time available. Since we have a small home I don't have any way to safely split the house and still keep no physical contact or sight contact between the resident and the new boy. The cat room is a 10'x11' bedroom with toys, water, litter box, cat tower, so they aren't being kept in the tiny spare bathroom door half the day.

 

[ArtNJ]

That is great that your 3 year old is patient enough to bond with the cats!

Talking about lunging at the one year old . . . do you think this is play or attention seeking or aggression? Aggression of any kind would be the most worrisome, obviously.

 

[symplestytches]

A ArtNJ - I believe it was a defense tactic on the cats part. I had gone into his room to get the baby's clothes that are stored there and the kids followed me in before I could block them out... So he was a bit overwhelmed I think.

edit: I have further decided to be more firm with the human minions on not allowing them in the cat room in the mornings, especially if i'm just popping in to grab something, to avoid these types of interactions to occur.

 

[ArtNJ]

Rereading everything, it sounds like you have two issues going on: (1) nipping for attention; and (2) aggressive tendency possibly detected re: defending territory. (1) isn't especially worrisome, but (2) is a potentially serious problem with a one year old around. Especially since I assume the one year old will only be getting more agile and mobile.

Maybe have the one year old bring the treat bag and take out/drop treats when he comes into the cat's room? I'd rather have the cat be a little impatient/nippy than true defensive aggression, so it seems prudent to make the one year old the bearer of good things. Although, and I'm sure you know this already, if you get more warning signals of defensive aggression, you'll obviously need to reevaluate.

P.S. As has already been said, 2 year olds are normally very active. But biting a toddler, even for play or attention, is something else altogether, and defensive aggression is off the chart different.

Important Note: Its a good idea to keep toddlers out of the way during cat introductions because of something called redirected aggression, a common cat thing. This is when a scared or stressed cat lashes out as a pet or human that is close by, even if they didn't cause the scare or stress.

 

[symplestytches]

Good to know! I still don't know if he was truly lashing out at the baby since I stopped it in time, but I'll definitely start having the kids bring treats when entering the cat domain, just in case. I tried the hissing thing today when he tried nipping for attention it whatever it was her wanted and it gave him pause.

I have been only letting the cats see each other when the older one is at school and the youngest one is napping, or when I have other adults to distract the kids so they stay away, and will likely continue doing so until I feel the aggression itor tenseness has died down enough for bystanders not to get caught in the line of fire.

My mother was visiting today and accidentally let new boy out of the room during resident cats free time and he immediately chased resident. She thankfully fled to the cat tree, which happened to be in the room I was in so I was able to guard her while he came in. She won't hiss at him unless he tried to get too close. And most of her talk is just that, all talk. She would rather run from the fight, which is hope things usually shook down with our late cat. Current resident would get annoyed enough to finally chase her and corner her and she would then just hiss and call for us to get the other cat to leave her alone.