- Joined
- May 30, 2018
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- 41
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Hi all,
This may not be even an appropriate question for this forum, but if anyone has any input I'd really appreciate it. I'm in the midst of a cat introduction process that is probably not really going too badly (new kitty arrived on May 18; the kitties can be out together with supervision for as much as 12 hours, and I've occasionally left them alone together for a few hours at a time, and everyone has survived; still keeping them separated when I am out for long periods of time at work and overnight). I have accepted that this may be the status quo for a while more. The problem is ... me. I think that I have absorbed all the stress I *think* my resident cat *could* be feeling. I think that my stress (though I try not to show it) may be impeding the introduction process a bit. The resident cat is elderly and this has brought up a lot of anticipatory grieving for me -- she is still doing ok but I know that time with her is finite. I adopted her after a previous beloved kitty passed away, and I think I am mourning that kitty afresh again as well. My hands are shaking and I have completely lost my appetite. I feel better when I am away from home -- the anxiety dissipates when I'm at work -- but that makes things feel even worse, because my home with these two wonderful cats (both rescues) is now a source of stress rather than peace. Again, I think the cats are doing pretty well -- new kitty (Padma) has lots of attention and stays in the back half of the apartment with me at night, while resident kitty (Lucy) has the run of the rest of the apartment and can eat a little bit at a time without interruption (she hasn't been jumping on the bed or sofa for a long time now, so sadly she wouldn't be sleeping on the bed anyway, alas). Both cats are eating fine and can even eat in the same room, though there have been a few minor aggressions (Lucy toward Padma) and some growling/hissing when Padma is too annoying (i.e., follows Lucy when Lucy wants to be left the bleep alone). I'm trying hard to strike a balance where Padma has attention and playtime, and Lucy has peace and quiet, and they both have some time each day to interact, mostly with supervision. The problem, again, is.... the human. I can't get my anxiety and hypervigilance to turn off. Has anyone had this experience? And any words of wisdom? I think the cats will probably be fine if I can just get hold of my own cortisol levels...
This may not be even an appropriate question for this forum, but if anyone has any input I'd really appreciate it. I'm in the midst of a cat introduction process that is probably not really going too badly (new kitty arrived on May 18; the kitties can be out together with supervision for as much as 12 hours, and I've occasionally left them alone together for a few hours at a time, and everyone has survived; still keeping them separated when I am out for long periods of time at work and overnight). I have accepted that this may be the status quo for a while more. The problem is ... me. I think that I have absorbed all the stress I *think* my resident cat *could* be feeling. I think that my stress (though I try not to show it) may be impeding the introduction process a bit. The resident cat is elderly and this has brought up a lot of anticipatory grieving for me -- she is still doing ok but I know that time with her is finite. I adopted her after a previous beloved kitty passed away, and I think I am mourning that kitty afresh again as well. My hands are shaking and I have completely lost my appetite. I feel better when I am away from home -- the anxiety dissipates when I'm at work -- but that makes things feel even worse, because my home with these two wonderful cats (both rescues) is now a source of stress rather than peace. Again, I think the cats are doing pretty well -- new kitty (Padma) has lots of attention and stays in the back half of the apartment with me at night, while resident kitty (Lucy) has the run of the rest of the apartment and can eat a little bit at a time without interruption (she hasn't been jumping on the bed or sofa for a long time now, so sadly she wouldn't be sleeping on the bed anyway, alas). Both cats are eating fine and can even eat in the same room, though there have been a few minor aggressions (Lucy toward Padma) and some growling/hissing when Padma is too annoying (i.e., follows Lucy when Lucy wants to be left the bleep alone). I'm trying hard to strike a balance where Padma has attention and playtime, and Lucy has peace and quiet, and they both have some time each day to interact, mostly with supervision. The problem, again, is.... the human. I can't get my anxiety and hypervigilance to turn off. Has anyone had this experience? And any words of wisdom? I think the cats will probably be fine if I can just get hold of my own cortisol levels...