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How To Tell This Lady I Can’t Take Care Of Her Cats Anymore

Maria Bayote

Mama of 4 Cats, 3 Dogs , 2 Budgies & 2 Humans
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I don’t know if this is the right thread. I have mentioned before about this neighbor who suddenly locked out her cats and are now hanging out at my front door 24/7 because I have been feeding them.

This lady said she is still feeding them but have not actually seen her do it, so one time I asked her to just provide the cat food since her cats are always at my door. She did, but only gave a bag of kibbles. I demanded for wet canned food, which she gave me a couple of cans after a lengthy explanation that cats need wet food. I can’t keep asking food from her, so I have been feeding from my own cats’ supplies. She does not provide food unless I ask.

It has been very stressful feeding her cats, because the moment I open my door they all come rushing inside which means a possible confrontation with my own indoor cats. Her own cats are fighting each other, but I understand this due to lack of proper care. One of them even has ringworm. This lady said she will take care of it after her vacation but until now nothing is done. To protect my own cats what I do is lock them first inside the bedroom before I proceed in feeding this neighbor’s cats. (I live in a tiny one bedroom apartment). That means I have to catch them one by one and bring them to the bedroom everytime.

This morning one of my cats just refused to come to the bedroom so I took the chance. The moment I opened the door the neighbor’s cats rushed inside the small living room and upon seeing my cat they attacked her!

That was my last straw! I pity these cats outside but I cannot keep being stressed out and putting my cats in danger.

How can I tell this lady that I can’t take care of her cats anymore? She has seemed to transfer all her responsibilities to me. Her cats have aggressive tendencies, making it more difficult for me to care for them. Her cats even drove away my small colony.
 

Norachan

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I guess there are no good shelters or laws to protect animals in your country, is that right?

Why not print out an invoice for her, including the cost of feeding the cats, taking the cat to a vet to be treated for ringworm, taking your cat to the vet after she was attacked and paying yourself an hourly rate for all the trouble you've gone to.

(You can just provide estimates for the medical care)

Tell her you expect to be paid for everything you've done. What's more, if she won't look after the cat's herself you expect money every week for the time and trouble you are going to.

If she expects you to act as a cat sitter you should be paid as one.
 
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Maria Bayote

Mama of 4 Cats, 3 Dogs , 2 Budgies & 2 Humans
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I guess there are no good shelters or laws to protect animals in your country, is that right?

Why not print out an invoice for her, including the cost of feeding the cats, taking the cat to a vet to be treated for ringworm, taking your cat to the vet after she was attacked and paying yourself an hourly rate for all the trouble you've gone to.

(You can just provide estimates for the medical care)

Tell her you expect to be paid for everything you've done. What's more, if she won't look after the cat's herself you expect money every week for the time and trouble you are going to.

If she expects you to act as a cat sitter you should be paid as one.
The only shelter I know here is FULL and cannot accept anymore. Actually she also tried bringing them there but was apparently turned down. Everytime I explain to her that her cats need this, her cats should not be outside, her cats should be like this or that, she always seem to have an excuse. I am tired talking to her. Earlier she said she has a friend who can take the cats but until now they are still at my front door. Her cats also became the cause of her problems with our neighbors as they (the cats) are destroying shoes, plants, etc left outside by neighbors. So I pleaded to her that in order for her cats to be safe she must bring them all back inside or look for someone to adopt. But in vain.

Food is actually no issue, as I am used to feeding strays outside. The issue here is that this lady has taken all these cats and somehow does not want to take any more responsibility for their well-being, but STILL manages to tell me she LOVES them. I need to let her know that these cats are still her problem and her responsibility. What if we suddenly move out and transferred? Or when we take a vacation? Who shall take charge of her cats? I also worry about these poor kitties.

Another issue is what I had mentioned above: they seem to be always hungry and keep rushing inside the house and I cannot control them! They are fast! By doing so my own cats are at risk. I have one cat (Bourbon in my avatar) who is VERY TERRITORIAL and if she sees even a sight of another paw in her living room she will go nuts and ATTACK as well. If that happens I may hurt also myself in order to protect my own cat. Good thing this morning the cat that they attacked was my smallest one, and she just retreated in a corner. But imagine me screaming in the early morning because of this. This is getting so very stressful. I used to love feeding helpless cats outside, but with her cats it feels like I always get into a war zone.
 

verna davies

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What an awful position to be in. I would tell her your cat has been attacked and any and all costs incurred will be her responsibly to pay. Also that you might be injured if you get in the way. You just have to be direct and tell her that her cats need to be rehomed before they cause harm to someone, possibly a child and if that happened she could be in trouble. Point out that if she truely loves them then she would want whats best for them.
 
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Maria Bayote

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I would tell her your cat has been attacked and any and all costs incurred will be her responsibly to pay.
I am actually trying to find the best words to say. I will be sending her a message within today, just looking for the right words so she would also not be offended.

BTW, I also have my two budgies in the living room and I am afraid if her cats see them they would also hurt my birds.

She mentioned to me once that one of the reasons why she locked out her cats was because they were always fighting. I explained to her that most probably because they were also always hungry (as she was always out), they were not neutered/spayed (they are now after a lot of tiring explanation from my side), or they were very bored, among other things.

After she had them fixed she locked them all out, as if this would ensure the cats' survival outside. And her cats are still violently fighting each other at times. One of the cats even had a cut nose.

One time she brought them all to a park and left them there, thinking somebody would feed the cats! When she visited them, all her cats were naturally thin and bones, so she returned them to our compound but still left them outside! She knows I cannot turn my back on any feline outside my door!

Anyway..just thinking of this makes me stressed out. :(
 
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Maria Bayote

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Since I am still at work, I already sent her a message. I said that she should start taking the responsibility again of feeding her cats 2-3 times a day at her apartment so they would cease staying at my front door. I told her the incident this morning, and my justifiable fears. She replied "I will definitely feed them", as if this task is a personal favor for me. Anyway, will see what happens. Will try to talk to her again personally when I see her.

Thanks for your inputs.
 

Norachan

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Maybe you should write her a letter. This would be better than talking to her face to face or sending a text message.

Write down your concerns and explain the steps she needs to take. Tell her that you are not prepared to take care of her cats anymore. Let her know that she has to bring the cats back indoors and take proper care of them, or you that you will expect to be paid for caring for her cats, the way any cat sitter would.

Maybe you could contact these people and see if they can give you any advice?

Paws Rescue Qatar - animal welfare, animal rescue, animal shelter, homeless animals charity in Doha

Where I live it is a criminal offence to dump an animal. Could she be prosecuted for leaving the cats in the park?
 
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Maria Bayote

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Where I live it is a criminal offence to dump an animal. Could she be prosecuted for leaving the cats in the park?
I am not sure of the laws here, but I know that the locals are also very passionate about the welfare of animals. I know some locals who also go beyond individually in extending their resources to help. But there really are a lot of strays, abandoned and ferals.

Believe me, I have already spoken to her personally several times including phone messages about her cats. One of her cats also went missing from the compound, so I even told her she could probably be dead already, and that she needs to return the remaining of her pets back inside!

For the matter regarding payment for caring for her cats, this one topic (money) I am so shy to talk about to anyone. Even asking for cat food from her is not easy for me. Anyway, as I said this one is manageable (cat food) as we still can be able to feed them for now. The only issue is that her cats are really so stressful to care for.

And for the animal shelters you mentioned, she said she already contacted them. I also tried to contact some people I know working for animal groups but since there are a LOT of cases here, their hands are full.
 

susanm9006

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One thing I would do immediately is not feed them at your house but instead put out whatever you are able to give them by her house. This should at least help eliminate the cats darting into your place and reestablish whose responsibility they really are.
 
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1 bruce 1

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I would also let her know that, if her cats should rush into your home and cause damage to one of your indoor cats, the vet bill WILL be billed directly to her.
 
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Maria Bayote

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One thing I would do immediately is not feed them at your house but instead put out whatever you are able to give them by her house. This should at least help eliminate the cats darting into your place and reestablish whose responsibility they really are.
Very good suggestion. I will try this, although her flat is located at a much higher floor. Mine is on the first level.
 
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Maria Bayote

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I would also let her know that, if her cats should rush into your home and cause damage to one of your indoor cats, the vet bill WILL be billed directly to her.
Thanks, if her cats continue to keep rushing inside my flat I shall tell her. Actually this has caused me nightmares! I dreamed several times that her cats ate mine! I usually wake up after that really very stressed out. From just reading this just seems to be a simple matter, but for me it is quite a very upsetting daily life. I can't walk out my door without looking first from the window if her cats are outside, which most of the time they are! So always I am on high alert. :(
 
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Maria Bayote

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As of this morning her cats are still outside, so I had to use my bag to block them from rushing inside while I was going out. One was jumping, one was clawing at the door, and another one was trying to squeeze in between my legs. The food tray outside was empty, not a sign that somebody fed them in the morning. So I had to yell to my husband back at the flat to bring some food for the cats, and fed them a little farther away from our door. If I leave them hungry, their faces would haunt me for the rest of the day while I am at the office.
:(
 

Talien

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It's a big problem around where I live, people will take their pets to rural areas and just dump them off. The Cats often end up being killed by Coyotes, Foxes, or Dogs. The Dogs that get dumped off just roam around until they get hit by a car, shot because they're trying to eat someone's Chickens, or in very rare cases someone takes them in.

At least you know who the irresponsible owner is. If it was me I'd just come right out and tell her that she is a terrible person and if she can't find time to take care of her pets then she should never have gotten them to begin with, and she needs to find someone who is willing to take them in so they aren't being further harmed by her mistreatment of them.
 
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Maria Bayote

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and if she can't find time to take care of her pets then she should never have gotten them to begin with, and she needs to find someone who is willing to take them in so they aren't being further harmed by her mistreatment of them.
I actually told her this already but she seems unaffected. I don't know what kind of human being she is, it is so conflicting. One moment she tells me she has had enough of her cats, the next minute she will say she loves them. Talking to her is a very tiring process.

I mentioned before, I used to enjoy and love feeding strays outside my door. It gives me happiness. But with her cats, I am always afraid they'd attack my cats and my birds.
 

Leomc123

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maybe arrange with her a payment plan for the food for the cats. Calculate how much it will cost per week, maybe she thinks cats dont need to be fed all the time like 2 times a week or something like that. If the cats are outdoors, feed them outdoors or near the door so when they run in first thing they see is food so they dont barge in. I guess if they are always hungry maybe the amount of food given isnt enough for them as maybe one cat in the group eats all the food and the other one goes hungry, so there is always this fight between them.

I feed some stray cats, the mother and father cat and her 4 kittens. I give them 2 cans of cat food at once. one can dish for the parents , and one can dish for the kittens at the same time.

If there are three cats, give them one can each on three separate dish or paper plate away from eachother. They will find their own dish to eat from.
 
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Maria Bayote

Mama of 4 Cats, 3 Dogs , 2 Budgies & 2 Humans
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Jan 15, 2018
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maybe arrange with her a payment plan for the food for the cats. Calculate how much it will cost per week, maybe she thinks cats dont need to be fed all the time like 2 times a week or something like that. If the cats are outdoors, feed them outdoors or near the door so when they run in first thing they see is food so they dont barge in. I guess if they are always hungry maybe the amount of food given isnt enough for them as maybe one cat in the group eats all the food and the other one goes hungry, so there is always this fight between them.

I feed some stray cats, the mother and father cat and her 4 kittens. I give them 2 cans of cat food at once. one can dish for the parents , and one can dish for the kittens at the same time.

If there are three cats, give them one can each on three separate dish or paper plate away from eachother. They will find their own dish to eat from.
I feed them one bowl of wet food each, in the morning before I leave for work and at night when I arrive home. At night after feeding them their wet food I also leave out one large bowl of kibbles for them to nibble until the morning. They are still hungry! There is a small basin of water outside that I clean out everyday and replenish for them to drink. Poor babies. They were probably used to having easy access to food then all of a sudden, this!

The owner hinted she wanted to move out of her apartment. I told her repeatedly to bring her cats with her or look for someone to adopt and never leave her cats behind. We'll see what happens...
 

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