How to know if its grief or if he is lonely?

[pepsiandmax]

I made a post about a week ago. But to sum up. Pepsi and I lost his brother Max 3 weeks ago today. Pepsi have always been a vocal cat, but its gone into overdrive now, and there is a lot of meowing. He has also nightly started to scratch at my bedroom door.

I know that cats grieve. I know that the melwing can be a sign of grief. These two have been together for the 6 years that I had them. And I would expect Pepsi to grieve for his brother. But when do I know if its just grief or if he maybe needs a friend? There are many cons against getting a new cat, but the positive is all the joy it also beings.

 

[misty8723]

I'm so sorry for your loss. If Pepsi is scratching at your bedroom door, maybe he's lonely and wants to be with you. Maybe knowing you are grieving too, he wants to help. None of my business, but is there a reason you don't let him in your bedroom?

Whenever we lost cats (three so far, Cindy, Darcy, and Swanie), we did not wait very long before getting another cat to be companion to the one left. After Cindy passed, Swanie was grieving as they were best friends. We were grieving too. We ultimately got Darcy the sweetest little kitty you could ever imagine and she and Swanie got along great. Unfortunately, we only had Darcy for a few months before losing her to FIP (horrible horrible disease!). After a brief period we adopted Cricket, and she and Swanie took to each other. Some years later we lost Swanie, and we now have Austin as companion for Cricket. It was not an instaneous bonding, but they are good friends now. I just believe every being deserves to have someone of their species to be with. You just have to be careful you have an idea of the personality of the cat you have and the cat your are bringing into the household. They are in no way a replacement for your lost kitty, which can't be done, but nevertheless they can bring so much joy it's worth the transition, in my opinion. I honestly didn't want to get close to Austin because I was and still am grieving my soul mate kitty Swanie. I got Austin mainly so Cricket would have a companion. However, Austin has wormed his way into my heart and I love him dearly.

 

[Purr-fect]

You might try fostering a cat first, in case Pepsi doesnt take to another companion.

My guess is that pepsi is lonely (at least at night) and thats why he has recently started scratching and the bedroom door.

I know that both of our cats would be distraught if they couldnt sleep with us.

 

[di and bob]

It would definitely keep his mind busy! 3 weeks isn't long for a cat to adjust to grieving, I have had mama cats search for their babies that long. you could try waiting longer, or getting him a calming aide on Amazon or Walmart for night and see if that helps. Like said above, if you DO get another cat, make sure their personalities match.

 

[pepsiandmax]

I'm so sorry for your loss. If Pepsi is scratching at your bedroom door, maybe he's lonely and wants to be with you. Maybe knowing you are grieving too, he wants to help. None of my business, but is there a reason you don't let him in your bedroom?

Whenever we lost cats (three so far, Cindy, Darcy, and Swanie), we did not wait very long before getting another cat to be companion to the one left. After Cindy passed, Swanie was grieving as they were best friends. We were grieving too. We ultimately got Darcy the sweetest little kitty you could ever imagine and she and Swanie got along great. Unfortunately, we only had Darcy for a few months before losing her to FIP (horrible horrible disease!). After a brief period we adopted Cricket, and she and Swanie took to each other. Some years later we lost Swanie, and we now have Austin as companion for Cricket. It was not an instaneous bonding, but they are good friends now. I just believe every being deserves to have someone of their species to be with. You just have to be careful you have an idea of the personality of the cat you have and the cat your are bringing into the household. They are in no way a replacement for your lost kitty, which can't be done, but nevertheless they can bring so much joy it's worth the transition, in my opinion. I honestly didn't want to get close to Austin because I was and still am grieving my soul mate kitty Swanie. I got Austin mainly so Cricket would have a companion. However, Austin has wormed his way into my heart and I love him dearly.

You can ask. I don’t allow him into the bedroom, since I am a light sleeper, and I wake up almost screaming, heart racing, with the slighest movement in the room. I think it would be traumatising for us both

 

[pepsiandmax]

You might try fostering a cat first, in case Pepsi doesnt take to another companion.

My guess is that pepsi is lonely (at least at night) and thats why he has recently started scratching and the bedroom door.

I know that both of our cats would be distraught if they couldnt sleep with us.

I have asked a shelter close to me if they will accept a possible cat back, if it does not go well, since I want the best for all cats involved. I have not gotten an answer yet, but can’t imagine they would not also want the best home for a cat.

 

[Furballsmom]

Hi!
As mentioned above, a purr or heartbeat toy could be helpful, and also try some cat music for Pepsi.

 

[misty8723]

You can ask. I don’t allow him into the bedroom, since I am a light sleeper, and I wake up almost screaming, heart racing, with the slighest movement in the room. I think it would be traumatising for us both

oh gosh, PTSD? I guess that would be quite traumatic.

 

[pepsiandmax]

oh gosh, PTSD? I guess that would be quite traumatic.

I don’t know if its PTSD. I do believe it is from watching scary movies. Maybe in general, maybe too early in life. I have slept with a night light for many nights.
I wont forget once I was in the hospital for a surgary. The nurse came in at night to check up on me, and I wake up gasping for air

 

[misty8723]

I don’t know if its PTSD. I do believe it is from watching scary movies. Maybe in general, maybe too early in life. I have slept with a night light for many nights.
I wont forget once I was in the hospital for a surgary. The nurse came in at night to check up on me, and I wake up gasping for air

There is something going on, some reason. If you happen to believe in reincarnation, I would suggest it's from a trauma in a past life.