How to get cat out of his shell?

[zoes]

Hi folks, sorry for the long post to come

Last Friday, I took in a foster cat. His owner is a senior person on a limited income who was admitted to hospital and the woman taking care of his affairs isn't a cat person and had other priorities, and started emptying the house around the cat (the owner may be able to return to independent living in an apartment, but not his house.) So, between all that, this cat seems pretty traumatized. All I know is that he's a 10yo neutered male - I don't know what his regular personality is like at all. His owner's health issues are serious and I haven't been in communication with him. I am just slightly acquainted with the woman managing his affairs through a neighbourhood FB group, and the owner of the cat is her ex husband who reached out to her after 15 years because he has no one else to help him, so she's overwhelmed and doesn't know anything either. So, I went in blind and in a bit of a frenzy.

I assume his current mental state is due to the trauma of losing his person and having crazy house stuff going on around him.

When we went to get him, he was terrified and I regretted showing up in shorts and a tank top with just a carrier (I was expecting a regular housecat - maybe shy or anxious but approachable)... but he is gentle and I was able to wrap him in a coat I found in the house and stuff him in the carrier.

I brought him to my apartment and kept him in a separate room from my own 3 cats. Left him alone the rest of the day Friday and overnight. On Saturday I started to spend time in the room. He would cram himself in corners and half-assedly hide, but would look at me, and I was able to pet him (no response from him, but he allowed it.) When I started brushing him that made a big difference and I was actually able to get him to purr, hop up and lie in my lap, weave around my legs, give me head butts, revolution him and clip his claws (had to, but no restraining necessary - he's a kneader... I still have scabs on my leg from it!).

I do feel, though, that his affinity for me is because I'm "safe." Not because he's seeking attention or wanting to be social. He will hide behind me if my partner walks into the room, and he will not come to me if beckoned.

After each of those sessions, he would revert back to hiding. He did show interest in my cats so we started some introductions which were fine. He's not that interested in them, but not scared of them. He is eating and using the litter box but is not currently food motivated.

Two nights ago, maybe too soon, we decided to give him run of the house apartment so he could explore. There's not many places he can really hide (there are places he can go under or behind furniture, but what I meant is, I can't really lose him in here because it's an apartment and we don't have that much furniture.)

He has done some wandering (some howling at night) but is still doing the thing where he shuts down and then stays that way until I go get him, carry him to a chair, put him on my lap and brush or pet him. Then he opens up again. It seems to be the same whether he's in "his" room or out in the apartment. Yesterday, I put him back in his room for most of the day so he could have some decompression time and it was more of the same.

Maybe I'm expecting too much too soon, but I was expecting some kind of progress by now. I've taken in semi-ferals that I swear at least started to come around faster than this. He's been through trauma but he's also "just" a housecat, you know? But, all of my experience with taking in cats have been strays or semi ferals that wanted my attention outside and came around to it quickly enough inside. So maybe that's the difference.

I'm contemplating putting him back in his room but then I end up spending hours in here with him and I feel like I'm neglecting my other cats, and I also don't see any difference in his behaviour in the room or out of the room. My sense is that no matter where he is or what is going on around him, he would just stay in one spot, slink to the litter/food, and only be social when I kinda force him. Like if I had not interfered with him, he'd still be crammed hiding in the back of the carrier he was hiding in on day 1.

Maybe I just need to wait and be patient, but if there's something I can do differently or better to help him feel more comfortable, I would appreciate any guidance or suggestions.

 

[FeebysOwner]

Hi. I think you are asking a lot of a cat who has gone through what he has - and has only been with you for a few days. The older the cat, the longer it usually takes for them to accept their whole life, as they knew it, is undergoing change.

I am not sure that there isn't some kind of impact to him between when he is in his own room and when he is out and about other parts of the house - he probably is still not crazy about either. I'd give him more time to adjust, and you just might find the hiding and slinking will dissipate over time. It is also important to let him adjust on his own schedule, especially if you don't plan on keeping him, as he will just have to go through this process all over again. The more settled he is before that happens, hopefully the better he will adjust to yet another upcoming change.

I don't know how much your own cats need to have you pay attention to them on a regular basis, but unless you see they are being negatively impacted by the time you spend with this poor guy, I would not worry too much. They are in their own home, everything besides this new cat, is the same for them. So, they are in a much better place than this poor fellow that has essentially lost everything he has ever known.

Maybe some thought provoking help for you in any of these articles?
How To Help A New Cat Adjust To Your Home - TheCatSite
How To Get A Cat To Come Out Of Hiding? - TheCatSite
14 Cat Experts Reveal: How To Get A Cat To Like Me - TheCatSite
Do Cats Mourn? - TheCatSite

Keep us posted, please!

 

[zoes]

Hi. I think you are asking a lot of a cat who has gone through what he has - and has only been with you for a few days. The older the cat, the longer it usually takes for them to accept their whole life, as they knew it, is undergoing change.

Thank you! I'm sure you're right. Actually, after posting this, I fished him out from under the bed and put him in his room (which is also my office.) Within a few minutes he came out from under the hidey chair, wandered around, and made his way to my lap on his own where's he's been purring and leaning into me and headbutting me. He chose to come out of hiding and come to me - so I'm going to call that progress!

Would you keep him confined to the room, or let him out? Or a combo of both as I've been doing the last two days? Now that I've spilled out my thoughts, I feel like that's the crux of my dilemma. I've always been a big proponent of early integration, but I'm also realizing I've never dealt with a shut down cat. Only fearful cats who, even though they were fearful, had a strong curiosity and desire to explore and were able to build their own confidence quickly. I think he is more confident in the room, so maybe I have my answer for at least a couple more days.

Well good point - my cats are fine, I don't know why I was fretting, I feel a bit silly . I can tell they miss me (usually they rotate use of my lap all day at work) but they have another human out there and get plenty of attention.

The longterm outcome is definitely unknown. The owner may not be able to return to living independently. I really don't want a fourth cat but I also know he may not be easy to rehome at his age. I have a friend who wants a pet but has been taking her time since the death of her last pet - her bf was with her yesterday and asked the cat's age and I told him and he made a face and asked how long cats live. Ugh.

I also have an 18-19yo cat who is on her last legs so, we'll see, the numbers may balance themselves before the owner's situation is resolved (though hopefully not). He will never be surrendered anywhere, that's for sure, unless it's a good rescue situation where I continue to foster him and they just facilitate an adoption.

In the time it took write this post he has hopped off my lap and is now standing at the door of the room wanting to leave. Not sure if he wants to go back to under the bed or if he actually wants access to the apartment. Still, better than being crammed face-first into a corner.

Thanks for those articles and dose of common sense, I'll review them!

 

[zoes]

Keep us posted, please!

Omg - he was on the windowsill grumbling (not sure what that sound means - it's not a howl - just chatting I guess) and I talked to him and he came over to me and jumped on my lap purring. Ah! I'm so pleased.

Geez, I was in a totally different space with this less than 2 hours ago.

 

[lucyrima]

If you still have access, can you find/buy some small toys and mush them around the apt. owner's clothes, furniture, etc? That'll make him feel a lot more comfortable , plus play with him with the toys... give him something to do, not just mope.

 

[zoes]

If you still have access, can you find/buy some small toys and mush them around the apt. owner's clothes, furniture, etc? That'll make him feel a lot more comfortable , plus play with him with the toys... give him something to do, not just mope.

I no longer have access unfortunately. It briefly crossed my mind at the time to bring some a blanket or something but everything reeked of cigarette smoke and filth so I was mostly trying not to touch anything. I think the poor man was unable to do much around the house for a long time before he was admitted to the hospital.

 

[FeebysOwner]

I think you do have the answer - let him continue to make attempts to move more freely about his own room for a while and see if that ends up to the point where he wants to venture outside of it on his own. It sounds like just you being in the room and doing other things was enough for him to consider that as an 'invitation' to join you on his own terms!!

Let us know how things progress!

 

[Alldara]

Sounds like things are progressing along slowly.

But I'll bring in an idea to change some perspective. The ferals you helped are used to change; they can adjust to change easier because they have a habit of adjusting. A house cat is not as used to change; their environment stays pretty static. So that's why I think it takes longer.

It doesn't sound like his owner had a lot of support like people coming in to help clean. So his owner being gone and all of his stuff slowly being stolen from him by strangers and then he was taken away...that's a lot of trauma if we frame it from his point of view. Please be sure if you end up rehoming him, (if that's the outcome), that you have some things that are his that he can take.

 

[zoes]

The ferals you helped are used to change; they can adjust to change easier because they have a habit of adjusting. A house cat is not as used to change; their environment stays pretty static. So that's why I think it takes longer.

This is such helpful insight, thank you! I have always found semi ferals and long term strays so easy. They might be scared of me for a while but they develop confidence in their surroundings quickly and I never really had to do anything for it to happen. When I did cat rescue it was exclusively stray cats, we never took in owned cats, so that was the totality of my experience. It makes so much sense the way you've framed it.

I kept him in his room all day and night on Tuesday and then yesterday was a noticeable improvement. He wanted out of the room so opened the door and he went out to explore the area just outside the room instead of slinking off to find a new hidey hole, and would come back into the room after. If he hid for some reason, he would get over it quickly and come back out. He probably spent 5 hours on my lap yesterday, let me clip his hind claws, groomed in front of me, and laid in his bed like a normal cat (as opposed to a scared one.) He has come when I beckoned and grumbled to me for attention (he sounds like an old smoker and still slightly smells like one,) and happily accepted attention from my partner.

If he gets under the bed (if I forget to close the bedroom door when he's out) he will go into hiding kitty mode for a few hours, but will eventually come out on his own. And he does still hiss sometimes. But he's made so much progress since I wrote my first post that I'm way less worried that I'm screwing it up. I mean I'm sure it wasn't perfect but he's making forward progress so I'll happily take that.

 

[lucyrima]

You're on your way!