How To Find A Kitten With A Shy But Clingy Personality

[Butter Butt]

I recently had a cat that ran away, he was very sweet, and i loved his personality because i myself am very shy and stay in my room a lot and loved to come home to him sleeping in my bedroom because i have had anxiety when i go to school and me worrying about my health. So my question is for people with a lot of kitten experience or cat experience can you tell what kind of cat will become shy and clingy? Or is it a learned thing? When my mom got him she said he didn't want to be picked up and when he came home he hid under my dresser and didn't want to come out so i didn't bother him. So I'm currently looking to adopt a male kitten is there certain behaviors i should look out for so i could get kitten with the same traits? I'm really afraid of getting a kitten and getting jealous because it's sleeping in someone else's room or taken a liking to someone else. Do i have too high expectations or is it easy to find a cat like this?

 

[IronHippo]

It's hard to guarantee a personality with kittens--I thought Radish was going to be a quiet one because he seemed very quiet and shy at Petco, but he turned out to be the opposite. He was insane as a 2 month old kitten once we got him home, and now that he's one year old he's just very gregarious (he even follows people he's met for the first time around) and also still kind of insane. I think older cats are usually said to be more developed in their personalities so it's easier to tell how they are as individuals, so maybe you could look for an adult cat! My husband adopted Marple when she was around two years old, and I would say she has not changed a lot over the past three years other than getting even more chill and relaxed around us.

 

[Butter Butt]

It's hard to guarantee a personality with kittens--I thought Radish was going to be a quiet one because he seemed very quiet and shy at Petco, but he turned out to be the opposite. He was insane as a 2 month old kitten once we got him home, and now that he's one year old he's just very gregarious (he even follows people he's met for the first time around) and also still kind of insane. I think older cats are usually said to be more developed in their personalities so it's easier to tell how they are as individuals, so maybe you could look for an adult cat! My husband adopted Marple when she was around two years old, and I would say she has not changed a lot over the past three years other than getting even more chill and relaxed around us.

I figured that would be the case, but i think with the cat I'm trying to look for will be hard regardless of getting an adult or kitten. My cat fully grown was still skittish around my family but generally loving towards me and very smart. Do you think that's average cat behavior? My family didn't really interact with him such as touching, I'm the one who l played or fed him so maybe he just really only trusted me. Also with you're kitten radish you adopted at petco was he hiding at all? And when i do go to an adopt at a shelter i will try to interact with the fully grown males and females as well, and see if i like any of them.

 

[IronHippo]

I figured that would be the case, but i think with the cat I'm trying to look for will be hard regardless of getting an adult or kitten. My cat fully grown was still skittish around my family but generally loving towards me and very smart. Do you think that's average cat behavior? My family didn't really interact with him such as touching, I'm the one who l played or fed him so maybe he just really only trusted me. Also with you're kitten radish you adopted at petco was he hiding at all? And when i do go to an adopt at a shelter i will try to interact with the fully grown males and females as well, and see if i like any of them.

I think a lot of cats tend to have "their person"--and with that, it's just a matter of time and earning their trust in you. Since you were the only one in your family who had the most positive interactions with him, that probably naturally made you "his person"!

Radish was sort of hiding--he had two other kittens in the display case with him and he was the one sort of crouched in the shoe box under one of the platforms in the back. He came out while I was looking at him and just kind of sat there, kind of uncertain looking. When I held him, he even jumped out of my hands and onto a nearby table (I grabbed him right away haha). I think he was just nervous about being where he was. In comparison, when I brought him home and opened his carrier, he came out almost right away, started exploring his room, and feel over purring while I scratched him. Then he climbed on me and tried nursing on my hair. So sometimes it's hard to tell too, because animals can act differently when they're at the shelter/store than they will once they're "home."

I think if you just visit with a lot of cats, eventually you will find yourself drawn to one (or two). They might not be exactly the same as your old friend--but they'll be special in their own way!

 

[Butter Butt]

I think a lot of cats tend to have "their person"--and with that, it's just a matter of time and earning their trust in you. Since you were the only one in your family who had the most positive interactions with him, that probably naturally made you "his person"!

Radish was sort of hiding--he had two other kittens in the display case with him and he was the one sort of crouched in the shoe box under one of the platforms in the back. He came out while I was looking at him and just kind of sat there, kind of uncertain looking. When I held him, he even jumped out of my hands and onto a nearby table (I grabbed him right away haha). I think he was just nervous about being where he was. In comparison, when I brought him home and opened his carrier, he came out almost right away, started exploring his room, and feel over purring while I scratched him. Then he climbed on me and tried nursing on my hair. So sometimes it's hard to tell too, because animals can act differently when they're at the shelter/store than they will once they're "home."

I think if you just visit with a lot of cats, eventually you will find yourself drawn to one (or two). They might not be exactly the same as your old friend--but they'll be special in their own way!

Okay thanks for your advice, it definitely did helped me get out of my mindset of focusing on getting a shy kitten, I'm just new to owning cats and, i know how mean some cats can be so getting a kitten is a gamble, while getting a full grown adult from a shelter i feel will have a higher chance of wanting to run away.

 

[danteshuman]

I think the cat chooses you from the get go. So go play with a nice large litter of kittens and see which one clicks.

So long ago I adopted a adult cat from a shelter in Denmark. My x-father in-law went with me. This one cat just loved him to pieces. I thought ‘perefect a man living cat ..... this one will love my hubby for sure!’ Boy was I wrong! She hated my x-hubby and hated being an inside cat! Don’t worry she lived very happily being an indoor/outdoor cat for my x-in-laws.

So my stepdad brings home 3 little kittens that need fostering/bottle feeding. This one kitten I love so much I keep having to distance myself because I knew he was going to need to be adopted out. He reminded me so much of my punk I kept looking at him and thinking ‘OMG I wish I could keep him ..... and that one is trouble! Cute trouble but trouble!’ All three kittens were weaned and at 11 weeks he was adopted out and returned. I wound up adopting him and I’m defiantly his person! I’m working on getting him to like strangers by taking his favorite treats with us during his walks; for strangers to give to him. Yes cats can be walked and it is best to start harness training them when they are kittens.

You just know when you have met your next fur-buddy. IMO the right cat will walk into your life. My beloved punk Dante was a blind adoption. All I specified was that the kitten be a grey tabby, I didn’t care about the kitten’s sex or personality since the kitten would be a companion cat. And OMG was Dante better then anything I could ever have imagined! Plus thank’s to Dante’s intense owner boot camp (when he was 4-18 months old) I learned how to deal with hyper needy troublemakers! Now this time around my 7 month old hyper kitten is a manageable hyper mess (& he is lucky he was adopted by someone that knows how to handle hyper kittens!)

 

[Butter Butt]

I think the cat chooses you from the get go. So go play with a nice large litter of kittens and see which one clicks.

So long ago I adopted a adult cat from a shelter in Denmark. My x-father in-law went with me. This one cat just loved him to pieces. I thought ‘perefect a man living cat ..... this one will love my hubby for sure!’ Boy was I wrong! She hated my x-hubby and hated being an inside cat! Don’t worry she lived very happily being an indoor/outdoor cat for my x-in-laws.

So my stepdad brings home 3 little kittens that need fostering/bottle feeding. This one kitten I love so much I keep having to distance myself because I knew he was going to need to be adopted out. He reminded me so much of my punk I kept looking at him and thinking ‘OMG I wish I could keep him ..... and that one is trouble! Cute trouble but trouble!’ All three kittens were weaned and at 11 weeks he was adopted out and returned. I wound up adopting him and I’m defiantly his person! I’m working on getting him to like strangers by taking his favorite treats with us during his walks; for strangers to give to him. Yes cats can be walked and it is best to start harness training them when they are kittens.

You just know when you have met your next fur-buddy. IMO the right cat will walk into your life. My beloved punk Dante was a blind adoption. All I specified was that the kitten be a grey tabby, I didn’t care about the kitten’s sex or personality since the kitten would be a companion cat. And OMG was Dante better then anything I could ever have imagined! Plus thank’s to Dante’s intense owner boot camp (when he was 4-18 months old) I learned how to deal with hyper needy troublemakers! Now this time around my 7 month old hyper kitten is a manageable hyper mess (& he is lucky he was adopted by someone that knows how to handle hyper kittens!)

How is taking care of a blind cat? Do they do well on their own or does the owner have to help them do certain things? I wouldn't jump into adopting a blind cat if it's something that requires experience.

 

[danteshuman]

I have never had a blind cat. However I have heard /seen YouTube videos of blind cats running and jumping. Their owners say they act like regular cats.

If I were you I would start with a regular kitten and then 2-5 years later if you still want to, get a cat that is blind. You keep mentioning wanting a cat that needs you (because they are shy or blind.) I think you are going about this in the wrong direction. If you want a super close bond, have you considered a bottle baby? Bottle fed kittens are different because they seem to be more friendly to humans and well the two kittens that were raised from 10 days old thought they were human (though one was a standoffish hermit type of human ) In my case I raised three kittens from 4 weeks on and of the three I was drawn to one little trouble maker and doted on the runt (baby panther) from the beginning. Granted the plan was to keep one kitten and find a home for the two boys. I wound up adopting the trouble maker. If you can feed the kittens every 2-4 hours (it varies by their age) then you can foster kittens for your local shelter. They will tell you what you need, show you how to care for them, pay for the medical and best of all take the kittens when they are weaned .... and find them forever homes. Now if you happened to adopt one kitten that would be OK. If not, then you can still make a HUGE difference to those wee kittens .... and those kittens will defiantly need you! (I suggest you look up the kittenlady on YouTube.) *some bottlebabies are standoffish when they grow up .... like the little warrior Cami who is cuddled but isn’t a lap cat .... not like her brothers! However if you foster you can have the pick of the litter or the next litter.

 

[Butter Butt]

I have watched a lot of kitten ladies videos before i even had a cat, and i do have a tons of free time to take care of a baby kitten since i go to a charter school. But, I'd be too scared of overfeeding the baby or doing something wrong. Plus i would get way too attached to the kitten. I never considered volunteering at a shelter cause i can't drive yet, but i would love to be able to just clean up the kennels once i do. How did you learn to bottle feed a baby kitten, Did the shelter show you?

 

[danteshuman]

LOL god I wish!!! It was more ‘ack.... OMG how do I keep these two babies alive?!?!? What do I do?!?!?’ Luck, a fantastic vet and neutered male cat who adopted one kitten that was failing to thrive (she survived/thrived after she got to ‘nurse’ off of him.) For the second unexpected kittens I had seen some kitten lady videos and improved my technique. Plus I got advice on this website on how to get the runt to go poo with the help of olive oil. I’m not experienced enough to do tube feeding. You have to listen to to your instincts and weighing them daily is a must.

They have great videos and many shelters will teach you. Since you want a kitten, you could adopt that one kitten out of a litter. Or you could foster a mom and let her have her kittens at your place. Fostering is easier when you get older kittens but to each their own. For the first week I had the 4 week old guys, they basically lived on my chest/tummy under a blanket. Even when I slept, I slept with them in a soft crate on my lap. A bunny cage came in handy to hold them while I slept when they got older. I would get a bunny cage or a large crate to hold wee squirmy kittens if you see one on sale at a garage sale. (The Vet gave us a donated bunny cage and we are looking for a way to donate the cage to other foster moms/dads.)

(That little white kitten is my boy now. He was adopted out and returned right after my cat died. The grey poof ball is Cami and Nick (black) were adopted by mom.)

 

[smosmosmo]

Would you consider fostering to adopt? I'd recommend you do this with an adult cat because you know exactly what you're getting, and get to live with it for a while to see if you're a good match. Or you might get lucky when you're visiting the shelters and really click with a cat there - the right kitty will choose you. Another option might be to look into Russian Blue breeders, since RBs are known for bonding deeply with their humans and are notoriously shy.

 

[danteshuman]

Yeah my siamese mix bonded all right ..... he almost suffers from attachment disorder! But wow is he hyper!!! It is why I didn’t recommend a siamese or siamese mix!

A Russian blue might be perfect.

 

[Butter Butt]

Yeah my siamese mix bonded all right ..... he almost suffers from attachment disorder! But wow is he hyper!!! It is why I didn’t recommend a siamese or siamese mix!

A Russian blue might be perfect.

Actually my first cat was a siamese ragdoll mix he was hyper i loved him though

 

[Butter Butt]

Would you consider fostering to adopt? I'd recommend you do this with an adult cat because you know exactly what you're getting, and get to live with it for a while to see if you're a good match. Or you might get lucky when you're visiting the shelters and really click with a cat there - the right kitty will choose you. Another option might be to look into Russian Blue breeders, since RBs are known for bonding deeply with their humans and are notoriously shy.

I never even heard of fostering to adopt, and i would love to do that but how long would you be required to keep the cat for? And i believe my aunt in minnesota had a female russian blue, she was really calm her cats didn't like me when i was a kid she had a orange male cat i tried to pet and he scratched my little hand up. I'll be honest i prefer medium/long haired cats, more hair to brush.

 

[Catlover579]

My cat is very shy with others but clingy with me.. he is male and got him as a kitten.when I first brought him home he was very scared and wouldn't come out from under my bed for a long time , only to eat and use his litter box when I wasn't around. At first I was getting worried and thought he would never come around. But eventually he grew to trust me and is very clingy with me but doesn't really care for any of my other family that I live with and is very scared of strangers . But with me he is "clingy" lol and I love it. I think how I got this way with him was through patience. I let him get comforable on his own and didn't push it. Also I play with him alot which I feel helps build a closer bond.

 

[Butter Butt]

My cat is very shy with others but clingy with me.. he is male and got him as a kitten.when I first brought him home he was very scared and wouldn't come out from under my bed for a long time , only to eat and use his litter box when I wasn't around. At first I was getting worried and thought he would never come around. But eventually he grew to trust me and is very clingy with me but doesn't really care for any of my other family that I live with and is very scared of strangers . But with me he is "clingy" lol and I love it. I think how I got this way with him was through patience. I let him get comforable on his own and didn't push it. Also I play with him alot which I feel helps build a closer bond.

That's exactly how my cat was when i got him as a kitten he hid and only came out when i put dry food on the floor and i left him alone His safe space was basically my bedroom. Where did you get your cat? Do you know anything about how he was raised.

 

[daftcat75]

All cats are different. But in general, American Shorthair (also called Domestic Shorthair) are affectionate cats that enjoy sitting with or near their person. My Krista is not overly needy. She is usually content just to know where I am.

I recommend picking up a 1 or 2 year old (or older.). They still have the rambunctiousness of a kitten but their personality is also more fully developed. This will be a better predictor of their temperament. Also everyone wants kittens so older cats have a harder time getting adopted. I got Krista when she was 2.

 

[duncanmac]

TBH, you don't really want a shy cat - you want a cat that is closely attached to you. One of the best things for me is coming home and having the cats greet me at the door.

For our third cat, I really wanted a tuxedo and my wife and I preferred a male over a female. We looked at close to a dozen kittens and I was always disappointed - they weren't my kitten because I felt no connection to them. Then we met Paisley - a "dilute tabby" or "tabico" female. Everything about her was wrong - color, sex, size - but she demanded to be seen by grabbing at the volunteer through the cage. She has over the top personality and affection. From the moment I drove her home, she has permanently affixed herself to me - I can hardly walk without kicking her (we are both working on that). This kitten has made me the center of her world - and its great. It is really what you want from a furry companion.

 

[Catlover579]

That's exactly how my cat was when i got him as a kitten he hid and only came out when i put dry food on the floor and i left him alone His safe space was basically my bedroom. Where did you get your cat? Do you know anything about how he was raised.

He is from humane society and got him around 3-4 months. There was a note on his cage that said he did not have social skills yet and very skittish/scared around people. They didn't really have much info about how he was raised but I'm pretty sure he was born as a feral kitten.i assume him and his brothers and sisters were found outside and turned in. But out of his brothers and sisters he seemed the most shy. He was also the cutest lol.

 

[lutece]

American Shorthair (also called Domestic Shorthair) [...]

Just FYI, American Shorthair isn't the same as domestic shorthair. Domestic shorthair is simply what we call a shorthaired cat that isn't any particular breed (most cats aren't any particular breed). American Shorthair is a pedigreed breed that was created more than 100 years ago by combining British Shorthairs with domestic shorthairs; at this time, it's quite different from the domestic shorthair, as it's been selectively bred for many, many generations towards a show standard.