How Should I Deal After A Bad Experience With My Cat?

catalinacat

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I've had her since she was 2 months, and now 2 years. I found her as a stray, and she is basically my baby. She is a huge source of happiness and she is my first cat.

She is, however, so sensitive to animal smells and completely does a 180 in terms of her personality when she catches a scent. She goes from 0 to 100 in terms of hostility/aggression, becomes super anxious, and just doesn't even act like the same cat. It is crazy.

This has only happened twice, the first time it was easier to calm her down (she smelled compost I used from the garden, which has cow manure) . But the second time which happened last night really broke my heart (she smelled mice in our house). She was not as easy to calm down, and the smallest things would agitate her back up again and it was like I was trying to detonate a bomb. She was acting like a wild animal and wouldn't even let me move to get out of the room for a long period of time and made me feel so unsafe. I literally sat there avoiding eye contact, frozen, while she would glare at me or threateningly meow/hiss at me so loud when I did move a little bit. And this wasn't just a light aggression, or anything playful. She was like full out so angry. It was quite literally one of the scariest things I've experienced in my life, and I don't know if I have the heart to go through it again. I don't know if I can look at her as the same cat who slept on my chest, cuddles on my lap, who I would play so many different games with, and I honestly just feel scared of her. I don't know if I would feel safe letting her even sleep in the room with me again. Especially now that I've read other people's experiences of cats doing this 180 and just being attacked.

I'm kind of just beyond sad about it to be honest. I hate how I have to wonder if she is safe cat to keep after all this time, or if I'm a good enough owner to curb the behavior. She has calmed down since then, but I just feel heartbroken and can't look at her the same and I don't even know how to say how I feel. When she reaches out to me in the same cute meows that she usually does, I couldn't feel my heart move and I wanted to avoid her and get away from her. And that feels so shitty. I feel like I can't fully love my cat after what she did, even though I want to.

Sorry this is so long. I'm just so confused and hurt and don't know where else to talk about it.
 

susanm9006

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I don’t think she was angry, I think she was terrified. The smells frightened her and as a result she was afraid of you and everything. So she hissed and meowed. I doubt she should come after you, she was just warning you to stay away from her. Best thing is to not look at her though and to not move in her direction but talk to her softly letting her know everything is just fine. Then you can slowly walk away from her and give her some time to calm herself. If you really feel threatened pick up a pillow and carry it so it is down by your legs when you walk away. That way if she should attack she would get pillow and not you.
 

ArtNJ

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This is called redirected aggression and is a cat thing. "A" scares cat; cat lashes out at "B" that wasn't responsible but is nearby. I can't explain the brain chemistry to you; it is just something cats do.

The important thing to realize is that it is not your job to calm down the cat afterwards. It sounds like it should be I know, but it doesn't work out. If you try, you just make yourself into a "B". Rather, you want to avoid the cat until it settles down on its own. Get out of the room and close the door. If you feel safe enough, close the windows and if you have an air conditioner, put it on to try and get the offending scent out.

None of which is to deny that this was scary! But since it has only happened twice in two years, I hope that with understanding what is going on a bit more, you will be better able to deal with it when it happens in the future -- and it probably will at some point, but hopefully it will remain very infrequent.

Good luck and best wishes!
 

Luc

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Hello there,

you said you felt scared but in that same situation how do you think your cat feels when in addition to a very bad trigger ( animal smell ) has also to deal with a being that is 10 times her size ?

When something like that happens, don't force the issue and let it go. You can not move your cat out of a room, but is that really preventing from doing something important ?

You wrote " She has calmed down since then, but I just feel heartbroken and can't look at her the same. " [...]

Hopefully you are not going to keep a grudge...it is a cat !

For your cat what happened is water under the bridge. All a cat cares about it is the present moment, here and now. It is totally up to you on what you make of the here and now with your cat because ultimately your cat will pick up YOUR vibe and reflect it.

If you are stressed the cat will be stressed and you are fine your cat will be fine. It is that simple :-)

For instance if my cat is doing something wrong I raise my voice, most of the times it is enough, but if he is freaking out for something I did not cause I am just going to shut up and give him time. I already know that he is not going to freak out on me, because I will not give him any signal or feedback not a bad one not a good one. Despite of whatever causes him to go crazy, in his eyes I am neutral and silent.

Another situation: when we travel oversea the flight alone is 12 hours non stop. I am totally stressed out, but I hide it. I give him slow blinks, I move slowly, I talk to him softly and I do my best to appear calm at all times no matter what happens from the time we leave one country and go to to another. Total travel time is about 18 hours. The result is that he sleeps for most of the trip and yet he had no food before the flight.

Again if your cat goes from 0 to 100 and you are not the issue that causes her stress, stay out, unless the issue can be quickly addressed and fixed by you. Next time give her the time the space she needs to readjust and to deal with whatever was that caused her stress...let her be in the room alone if that is what it takes or let her do whatever she is doing. No need to get close to her and want her to do something or to expect a normal response right away when she is "at 100" and definitely not ready to listen. Who would ?

A wise old person told me that there is a huge difference between being upset and staying upset. Now I understand that difference and my life is a lot better.

If you hold a grudge for the future you will create a negative environment. The other side of the coin is that if you let it go ( like you cat has already done ) and try to be positive and share good experiences and time, your cat will pick up that positive vibe and reflect it back at you.

Hopefully my reply does not sound harsh, just tried to bring to your attention a different point of view.

Wish you and your cat a great time.
 
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catalinacat

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I don’t think she was angry, I think she was terrified. The smells frightened her and as a result she was afraid of you and everything. So she hissed and meowed. I doubt she should come after you, she was just warning you to stay away from her. Best thing is to not look at her though and to not move in her direction but talk to her softly letting her know everything is just fine. Then you can slowly walk away from her and give her some time to calm herself. If you really feel threatened pick up a pillow and carry it so it is down by your legs when you walk away. That way if she should attack she would get pillow and not you.
I was doing all the above, but she wouldn't let me walk away from her to give her space, that was the problem.
 
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catalinacat

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"When something like that happens, don't force the issue and let it go. You can not move your cat out of a room, but is that really preventing from doing something important ?"
I feel like you're mistaking...I never said I tried to move her out of the room.

If you are stressed the cat will be stressed and you are fine your cat will be fine. It is that simple :-)
I was trying to remain calm the whole time, it made zero difference to how she was.

Again if your cat goes from 0 to 100 and you are not the issue that causes her stress, stay out, unless the issue can be quickly addressed and fixed by you. Next time give her the time the space she needs to readjust and to deal with whatever was that caused her stress...let her be in the room alone if that is what it takes or let her do whatever she is
That's what I was trying to do. Again, you're misunderstanding that she would not let me out of the room to give her space.

If you hold a grudge for the future you will create a negative environment. The other side of the coin is that if you let it go ( like you cat has already done ) and try to be positive and share good experiences and time, your cat will pick up that positive vibe and reflect it back at you.
There's a difference between holding a grudge and being scared of when it happens again. She becomes very hostile and I literally can't even move away from her and she looks like she'll jump me if I try.

Hopefully my reply does not sound harsh, just tried to bring to your attention a different point of view.
It's not harsh, but it is NOT understanding of the situation at all and seems rather condescending in that regard. Have you ever dealt with a situation like this? Because something tells me you haven't and are speaking from inexperience. A hostile cat can do as much damage no matter how much smaller she is and when the trigger is so random it can be scary. There was no way for me to anticipate the combination of things that resulted in her getting triggered. And not only for my sake, but I don't like it when she gets so frantic like that either.

With that said, by the next day she is cuddling on my lap but I think if they flip like that and act even worse next time nothing you said would make any of it right. That's the scary part. Especially when logic or love or care or any of that doesn't play a role once a cat goes into that really primal mindset.
 
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catalinacat

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Did you try to walk away? Did she attack you?
Yeah. She first flipped out and attacked my feet when I was exercising, and this happened in my room. And this was again, not a playful thing but a completely furious thing. Any movement was like a threat to her. She eventually literally sat herself at the door of my room to not let me leave and just kept glaring at me and if I tried to even switch positions or walk she would act very mad, and I could only sit frozen for hours until she calmed down to which I eventually got out of the room to give her space.

The morning after that she was calmer but still agitated and led herself into the other room where there are no mouse smells and while she was there I went back to my room and the kitchen area at the other end of the house to try to get to the source of the mice smells from the cupboards in the kitchen and my bathroom and clean up any mice poop and use mice deterrent and mice traps. I haven't caught any mice yet though so I'm trying to keep her at least out of my room to not trigger her.

It's two days since then and she's completely her normal self now and even slept on my chest and sat on my lap like she usually does when I was in the living room. I think you are right that it was redirected aggression, and she somehow though my feet were threatening for some reason.
 
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nwc

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I'm sure in the cat's brain that this is all okay, but continuing to live in this situation when you have the option not to does not seem reasonable. You are entitled to a feeling of safety and security within your own home that you pay rent for. What if it wasn't a cute cat, but an abusive roommate? (It's funny: on the one hand, you are encouraged to view your cat as an equal who you are sharing space with; but when it starts to pose a real danger and is unpredictable, the advice you get is "ahhh but it is just a kitty!")
 

Mer.kitten

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Just want to let ypu know ive been there and i understand completely. Until youve been in that situation, ypu DONT understand how dangerous and terrifying it is, and i myself had to deal with judgmental and condescending words from people who just didnt understand that this isnt an angry cat hissing and growling a bit, giving ypu a swat or two, then running away.

In my case it was sudden loud noises or movements, or even just things being out of place. I had a futon couch that i mever slept on, just used it as a regular couch. One day i was sleepy so i laid down on it-my cat wandered in, saw me there, and it triggered him-his eyes got huge, he started yowling, and he attacked. His attacks DID NOT STOP. My only option was to get away, but he would follow me. It waa like being attacked by a wild animal. It was horrifying.

My bf and i tried. We tried so hard. He was a rescue kitty and we loved him, and when he wasnt being aggressive he was super sweet. I spent hours researching online. Went to 3 different vets. Tried Feliway. Tried Prozac, faithfully dosing him every night.

It didnt help, and attacks were getting more frequent. It wasnt just me who was afraid, my then-boyfriend, 6 foot tall, in shape, bit of a tough guy, had been in fights and id never seen him fearful-he was afraid of our cat.

Then one day i was sitting at my desk, the phone rang, i got up to answer it and tripped and fell, and my cat attacked me. I ended up bloody, probly shldve gone to the ER. I called my bf at work and said i cant... i cant anymore.he said ok.

I called animal control and they came and got him. Watching them put him in a cage and take him shattered my heart into a million pieces.

I called the next day to ask about him. The lady on the phone sounded condescending and disgusted with me. "Hes been fine here so far mam". Maybe they could help him, i thought. Fix whats wrong and rehome him?

I was so worried about him, worried he was scared or wonfldering why he wasnt in his home anymore. My heart physically hurt.

I called a few days later to ask about him same lady, much different tone. "He attacked a staff member, hes been euthanized".

And then i cried for him, again. And hoped he was at peace and happy.

It was years later that i found my current kitty, Honeybun, and im not going to lie, i was low key afraid of her for the first few months.

to OP: Im sorry youre going through this, but please know i understand. Maybe you can try Prozac, or CBD? In the end though, you dont deserve to live in your own home terrified. No, its not the cats fault at all, but its not your fault either. If you end up needing to rehome or explore other options, please know that at least one person understands.
 

Maria Bayote

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No one may be willing to take in a cat if the prospective new owners will know she has a tendency to be aggressive over animal scents. I have had a foster like that before; from a lapcat to scratching and biting my legs or anywhere he could reach, for many different reasons, or no reason at all. I used to wear goggles whenever it happened, for fear he would reach my eyes (he could jump really high!). A friend intervened and volunteered to foster, then eventually adopted him, as he is more experienced dealing with this cat behavior, but I do miss that fella terribly. Once in a while I drop by and visit him, though.

You can try Calming products. I wish I knew of these before. I could have dealt with the issue much better, as I really wanted him to be a foster fail. You may also give your vet a ring and he may have other suggestions, too. Anyway, you mentioned this happened only twice. Mine was almost on a regular basis before. I did not say this to compare, but to point out there may still be something that can be done. Your cat is scared, and each time she is frightened, she only has you to calm her down.

Hang in there. I hope things work out for you.
 

Purr-fect

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Im sorry you are experiencing this.

The additional issue is.....what if the behavior becomes more frequent?

Im not an expert so please take my suggestions with a grain of salt.

I would try strengthening my bond with my cat even more. This means more treats, lots and lots of play time together. I realize this can only happen when the cat is relaxed. I would also have it on my lap, facing AWAY from me, so it cant easily attack if its mood changes. It must understand that GOOD things happen when you are around.

How does it react to catnip?

Would that help if it has an episode?

I would also suggest this (which I will do only under the anonymity of the internet)...lol

My boys on occassion have been startled by a sound in the house. They do not react as yours does, but are very concerned, will suddenly freeze and look around for the danger. They are frightened.

Here is what I have done.....I growl.....deeply, menacingly, bare my teeth, curl my lips.....it has had the effect of relaxing my boys. I kid you not. Arnold will lay back down on me. I think if they feel there is a large protector beside them, they are somewhat reassured.

There have been several instances where "dad" (I), have frightened/chased off predators, foxes, a coyote, raccoons, a huge several or bengal cat, dogs that were steps from my boys when we were in the yard. I think my boys now see me as somewhat of their protector. Even as I type this, they are only steps from my side, while we enjoy the last warm days of the year.

20191001_141726.jpg

If your cat sees you as a protector, it may be less likely to feel threatened and less likely to turn on you. Or it may not. It may set it off on another episode.

If trying this method, make sure you have a means of easy egress and way of preventing the cat access to you. Do NOT look at the cat when trying this....look at a far away point. The idea is to redirect the "danger" from you to another point and to show you are the protector. This process only goes on for 5 seconds max, and then you are relaxed and show signs of ease, stroking gently, talking softly ect.

I would also be concerned about medical issues. It may occassionally be in terrible pain, causing it to react in one of the limited ways it has possible.

I am not a cat whisperer or expert in anyway.

Just some thoughts for you.
 

LannyLC

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Oh my goodness, I've never heard of a cat triggered by animal smells and becoming aggressive. To freeze you in fear like that must be just awful. I can well understand the confusing emotions this can cause. A dear pet who you are very close with over time, is acting in a way completely foreign and frightening.

I mean, I'm a bit of wing nut with my cats. I pray over them, sing to them, and talk to them all the time, even if they want me to shut up HA! In a moment when your cat is having a hissy fit and being aggressive toward you, try this. Sit on the floor and make yourself as small as possible, head down, arm close to the body, hands hidden under your crossed legs. And just remain small and quiet. If you want, you can hum in low hushed tones. The cat will be left to deal with itself and its own emotions. The cat may approach you, but you will not be threatening to the cat because you've made yourself small. After a while, you will see what the cat will do and you may either leave the room or remain and let the cat come to you in a more calm demeanor. I like what another poster said about letting the cat work out this nastiness. It's not your job. When I took in my feral cat 18 months ago, I had to make myself small in the living room for several nights before Little Cat would approach me. Even then, she did not touch me, just walked a bit closer out of curiosity which was a win for me. Good luck.
 
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catalinacat

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Hello. It's been a while. I completely forgot I posted this since my cat has returned to normal since.
Thanks for everyone's stories.
After taking her to the vet, she actually determined that construction noise outside was causing redirected aggressive behavior, and not the mice as I initially suspected. Keeping her away from the room where the noise mostly can be heard has been effective. I'm happy to say she has been herself since, and knowing the trigger has been a huge relief.
 
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catalinacat

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Just want to let ypu know ive been there and i understand completely. Until youve been in that situation, ypu DONT understand how dangerous and terrifying it is, and i myself had to deal with judgmental and condescending words from people who just didnt understand that this isnt an angry cat hissing and growling a bit, giving ypu a swat or two, then running away.

In my case it was sudden loud noises or movements, or even just things being out of place. I had a futon couch that i mever slept on, just used it as a regular couch. One day i was sleepy so i laid down on it-my cat wandered in, saw me there, and it triggered him-his eyes got huge, he started yowling, and he attacked. His attacks DID NOT STOP. My only option was to get away, but he would follow me. It waa like being attacked by a wild animal. It was horrifying.

My bf and i tried. We tried so hard. He was a rescue kitty and we loved him, and when he wasnt being aggressive he was super sweet. I spent hours researching online. Went to 3 different vets. Tried Feliway. Tried Prozac, faithfully dosing him every night.

It didnt help, and attacks were getting more frequent. It wasnt just me who was afraid, my then-boyfriend, 6 foot tall, in shape, bit of a tough guy, had been in fights and id never seen him fearful-he was afraid of our cat.

Then one day i was sitting at my desk, the phone rang, i got up to answer it and tripped and fell, and my cat attacked me. I ended up bloody, probly shldve gone to the ER. I called my bf at work and said i cant... i cant anymore.he said ok.

I called animal control and they came and got him. Watching them put him in a cage and take him shattered my heart into a million pieces.

I called the next day to ask about him. The lady on the phone sounded condescending and disgusted with me. "Hes been fine here so far mam". Maybe they could help him, i thought. Fix whats wrong and rehome him?

I was so worried about him, worried he was scared or wonfldering why he wasnt in his home anymore. My heart physically hurt.

I called a few days later to ask about him same lady, much different tone. "He attacked a staff member, hes been euthanized".

And then i cried for him, again. And hoped he was at peace and happy.

It was years later that i found my current kitty, Honeybun, and im not going to lie, i was low key afraid of her for the first few months.

to OP: Im sorry youre going through this, but please know i understand. Maybe you can try Prozac, or CBD? In the end though, you dont deserve to live in your own home terrified. No, its not the cats fault at all, but its not your fault either. If you end up needing to rehome or explore other options, please know that at least one person understands.
I'm so sorry about what you went through. My heart breaks for you. Ever since my cat had this situation, I have read so many stories online about cats who turn aggressive and I just feel so much for all the owners out there whose cats never returned to normal. It really could happen to anyone, no matter how good of an owner you are, no matter how much you love your cat, that is definitely a heart ache I felt in all the stories. Sometimes you just really never can figure out the trigger. One story I read was about how a cat turned agressive for a couple of years, and later on died of some kind of lung illness that went undetected all that time, and only determined in their necroposy. It's unfortuante that some cats just become very scared and react badly to situations where they have no cognitive logic to understand, other than that it feels bad or makes them feel threatened, which tehn turns on that redirected aggression mode. There's just so many other triggers and possibilities, too. From the stories I read, some are so random that it's hard to know what happened. Some cats just have mental illnesses, some cats have other sensitivities that are things that human senses don't always find bothersome. It's just an endless possibility, and I would never blame any owner who tried their best given the circumstances. You just sometimes really can't tell.

I feel like all cat owners should be aware of it and make time to learn about it and read all the stories rather than saying "Oh it would never happen to me," because it could happen to anyone for a number of reasons. I feel like the fact that it's not something that is out there and common knowledge is not a very good thing.

Major hugs to you. I would never ever believe it meant your cat loved you less. He just didn't know what was going on, and it was just unfortunate that it was too complex to detect or assess and figure it out for him, too.

My cat had an easy to detect trigger, and I feel it was just pure luck. We honestly never know what a cat can go through to go back into that mode and never return. It can easily happen to her or any cat, and it's a devastating possibility.
 
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Mer.kitten

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I'm so sorry about what you went through. My heart breaks for you. Ever since my cat had this situation, I have read so many stories online about cats who turn aggressive and I just feel so much for all the owners out there whose cats never returned to normal. It really could happen to anyone, no matter how good of an owner you are, no matter how much you love your cat, that is definitely a heart ache I felt in all the stories. Sometimes you just really never can figure out the trigger. One story I read was about how a cat turned agressive for a couple of years, and later on died of some kind of lung illness that went undetected all that time, and only determined in their necroposy. It's unfortuante that some cats just become very scared and react badly to situations where they have no cognitive logic to understand, other than that it feels bad or makes them feel threatened, which tehn turns on that redirected aggression mode. There's just so many other triggers and possibilities, too. From the stories I read, some are so random that it's hard to know what happened. Some cats just have mental illnesses, some cats have other sensitivities that are things that human senses don't always find bothersome. It's just an endless possibility, and I would never blame any owner who tried their best given the circumstances. You just sometimes really can't tell.

I feel like all cat owners should be aware of it and make time to learn about it and read all the stories rather than saying "Oh it would never happen to me," because it could happen to anyone for a number of reasons. I feel like the fact that it's not something that is out there and common knowledge is not a very good thing.

Major hugs to you. I would never ever believe it meant your cat loved you less. He just didn't know what was going on, and it was just unfortunate that it was too complex to detect or assess and figure it out for him, too.

My cat had an easy to detect trigger, and I feel it was just pure luck. We honestly never know what a cat can go through to go back into that mode and never return. It can easily happen to her or any cat, and it's a devastating possibility.

Thank you hun, and hugs back to you. I wouldnt wish what i went through on anyone. I hope hes at peace now and i'll see him one day at the rainbow bridge.

I feel like part of the reason some people dont get it is bc theyve never seen it. They have no frame of reference, so when you say "my cat attacked me" theyre picturing a cat growl a little and swat at you and try to take a quick bite, and then retreat. Like, no ones really AFRAID of a housecat. I wasnt either. From all my experience with cats, even if they were really mad, heyd hiss and swat and bite a couplectimes, and then run away. I had never seen a housecat full on attack a person and not stop. Once i saw that i had a lot more respect for them, but most people havent seen it so they dont even know its possible.

Im SO glad your kitty is better! That really makes me happy :) give him/her some belly rubs for me :)
 

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Most animals, especially cats, WILL attack when tehy are scared literally out of their minds. Animals sense fear and act accordingly. I rode a horse that sensed when the rider was afraid of it and rolled on them/bucked every time. Itold him in a firm voice (not aggressively) that he's better not try it with me. Well he tried, I kept his head up by pulling firmly on the reins (a horse cannot buck/lay down with their heads up in the air, they tuck it low by their knees) and he acted perfectly the rest of the ride. I guess what I am trying to say is, do not show fear. either by voice or by actions. Tell them firmly to knock it off, don't yell, just a normal voice, then tell them it's OK and they can settle down. If they attack, take them by the loose skin on the back of the neck and hoist just their front legs off the ground. They will thrash and try turn turn to bite you, but keep their front legs off the ground. Being bit on the hands is still better then a full out attack on your legs, etc. You can keep their front legs pinned too with your other hand. They need their back legs to bear their weight, but be aware these can come up too. This takes some pratice but you can back out of the room and leave them behind the door. Please remember, they are literally scared out of their minds. To make them aware that you will not tolerate this behavior, and you ARE 'top cat' goes a long way towards thdem not attacking again. This may have to be repeated several times though until they get the point. If you are submissive to them they definitely escalate in their aggressive behavior. I know this sounds like you are being aggressive too, but they were the attacker and you should defend yourself and not just let them attack at will. Cats are smart, they know when someone will defend thremselves......
 
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