How Long Do I Let Them "work It Out"

[Omardufromage]

Recently took my little 9 week old into the vet and they told us to let my old cat, 14, work it out with my little guy. Now my old cat has been doing great and actually been more playful with us since we brought the little one home but he just keeps jumping on her relentlessly. She gave him a hard bite on the ear and shook it around a few days ago which made him yip , but no puncture holes or blood. She hasn't done that since and she just meows/growls and runs away and only hisses or swipes if she gets put into a corner. Just wondering how long it will possibly take but also how long should I let the little one try to go after her before seperation?

 

[susanm9006]

Your older cat has shown that she can discipline the kitten without really hurting her, the ear nip being an example, so I would agree with your vet. Absent real bites or fur flying, let them settle things between themselves.

 

[Kieka]

That your cat realized to stop before drawing blood is a really good sign. When I got Rocket she was a pound to my 1.5 year old who was 11 pounds. He figured out really quickly how hard he could play before the kitten didn't want to play. While the kitten learned how to tell him she was done forcefully enough for him to stop (he is hyperactive so there was no issue of him keeping up with her).

 

[ArtNJ]

Agree with everyone, let them work it out. But if she gets too stressed, you can give her some alone time, let her sleep alone, pet her alone with the door closed, that sort of thing.

"Let them work it out" doesn't necessarily mean much will change. You'll have to wait and see. Sometimes older cats never warm to the younger ones because they are too much of a pain in the neck. But as long as the older one's stress is mild, then just let it go.

Older cats almost never actually hurt kittens by the way. They might make the kitten yip, but that is as far as it goes. So don't worry on that end, just worry that your older cat doesn't get too stressed.

 

[Omardufromage]

I'm not too worried about my eldest hurting my little one I'm more worried that he is relentless in it. He just doesn't stop going for her no matter how many times she nips or hisses

 

[5starcathotel]

I'm not too worried about my eldest hurting my little one I'm more worried that he is relentless in it. He just doesn't stop going for her no matter how many times she nips or hisses

(Assuming I've got the ages and genders right, I think you mean the young male kitten keeps pursuing playtime with the older female)

Yes, this is the dynamic you have to manage with an older cat and a young kitten. The kitten will keep coming back for more, and this does risk driving your older cat nuts and souring their relationship. "Let them work it out" is fine advice, as your older cat is teaching the kitten boundaries. BUT, it needs to be combined with some energy management of the kitten - basically, be sure to keep up playtime as much as possible, making sure the kitten is running around and chasing toys and expending energy on things other than your female.

Additionally, make sure your female has places they can escape to (usually high and defensible) without becoming trapped. Jackson Galaxy has lots of advice on creating "cat highways" using shelves etc.

As to your original question of when to intervene? The kitten is still young enough, I doubt you've reached this stage yet. But if/when you do, you will know it, because there will be screaming. The next question is how much do you intervene? In my experience (4 cats, and the 'intervention' i need is between sisters who have very, very different energy levels), simply moving between them as they run from room to room, and admonishing the aggressor "Blue, you're taking things too far again...stop...go find a toy!" is enough.

 

[pharber-murphy]

I find that snapping my fingers makes my older one stop in her tracks - even as she's chasing the younger male. If I can't get close enough to catch her attention, I have yelled at them. But I read somewhere that this type of activity is all about setting boundaries and I shouldn't intervene. But I don't know - I'm definitely the alpha female around here and I think they sometimes need that reinforcement ;-)