How Do You Deal With People Who Say "it's Just A Cat, Get Over It"?

[bodester413]

I think some people have an undeveloped brain when it comes to empathy in those situations. I've never been able to understand how some people can't feel the waves of sadness that come of people when they lose something they loved. It's like they don't have that......I guess intuition is the world I'm looking for?.....Where you don't need to think about how someone else feels....You just soak it up and feel it yourself.

About a week after I had to put my first cat to sleep I was sitting at the kitchen table with my mom and my aunt. My aunt said something like it shouldn't take that long to get over the death of a pet. I could feel my face go flushed and my ears started to burn. My poor mom just gave me this pleading look that said please don't say anything back to her. I gave her a look that said mom, you know when my ears turn bright red it's far too late for that....I'm gonna say something and it's gonna sting whoever it's directed at. Then I looked my aunt in the eyes and said, well when the day comes that you pass away your kids probably won't take too long to get over it will they?

 

[Purr-fect]

That should make for some interesting family gatherings...

 

[Shane Kent]

All my friends know my cats are my kids. When my cat Kane passed away my friend warned my co-workers that for me it is like losing a kid. My friend knew I would get angry if anyone said something stupid to me, was good of him to warn my co-workers. Nobody said anything to me, I mourned for several days and not one peep. My parents are both cat lovers and I think my wife warned my in-laws as they are not. My mother in-law buys Christmas gifts for the cats I have now as I think when Kane and later Zaren passed away she realized how much they are kids to me.

Kane in the Basket and Zaren in front. I miss them very, very, very much.

zarenkanexmas.jpg

• Shane Kent
• Mar 4, 2017

 

[sabian]

I was somewhat the same way when I was younger. I had a friend that would see a cat on the side of the road and would literally go in a ditch trying to hit it. I didn't like that and was never that extreme. I would fuss at him for that behavior but I know that mentality exist! I was at one time of the mindset that it was just a pet and it shouldn't be that hard to get over. I had pets as a kid, cats and dogs but I never remember being that attached. It wasn't until I found a cat on the side of the road and rescued him that I saw things different. He had a big personality and was the first animal that "I" raised from a baby "Kitten". My dad had cancer at the time and some times I think he was sent to me for a reason. We would sit outside and watch him and some of the things he would do was hilarious! He was a bright spot in a dark time. I remember my mom outside planting flowers. I was looking out the window and I'm pretty sure she was crying. She dug a hole to plant a flower and Sabian "The cat" was standing off to the side. She turned her back for a second and he ran over there and squatted on the hole like he was going to pee. She laughed and shewed him away. She turned her back again and he ran back over there and did it again. She shewed him away again but she was belly laughing at this point. I was to and went out outside laughing. We laughed together about it and if for a brief amount of time made us forget about what was going on. He was a continuous source of entertainment. My dad laughed at him constantly. I would have made it through it without Sabian but man did he make it so much easier. He was the first animal I really bonded with and it was him that made me realize just how special an animal could really be. He was literally a god send. Not all cats are easy to love. Let's admit that. But there are some that just steal your heart and change you forever! Until someone experiences that they just can't understand it. To answer your question. I don't care what they think and I just don't deal with them. When my cat that I got after Sabian passed, passed away in Feb. I took a week and a day off from work. I had vacation time and told them I was taking time off to be with him. You can fire me if you want...I don't care! Most of the people I work with are animal lovers so they understood. People are gonna be the way they are and most likely aren't gonna change.

 

[dustydiamond1]

I love kitties. Clearly. My family does not. My mom is deathly allergic and my dad just isn't a fan of them.

One of my all-time favorite shelter kitties passed away the other day. He was adopted thankfully, and I kept in touch with his new dad, but it still hits me hard since it wasn't even a year after adopting. He was 9 and was a stray his entire life.... I was hoping he would have more time.

I've been mourning and dealing with the grief for a couple days now. I tried to talk to my mom and dad about it (we've always been close), but their reaction really stunned me. My mom said "it's just a cat, it's not a person." And my dad said "c'mon, don't be dramatic, it's an animal." I wish I could say I haven't gotten this attitude before, but how do you explain to people who just don't understand that a cat isn't just a pet, they're much more than that?

 

[dustydiamond1]

For the most part you will not change them and their attitudes, they are clearly not animal lovers if they can say things like that, don't waste your energy. Our neighbor is like that, they raise Skye terriers but when one passes it's like it is no big deal to them, but that's how they are. We are different, and mourn them as much if not more than a person. A friend of mine who is a psychologist says he mourns animals more when they die than some humans, animals love is unconditional, so he feels the opposite of the "it's just a cat" people.

However YOU feel is what is important, you will only spin your wheels trying to convince other people unless they do get attached to a pet, then they will understand what you were talking about when it passes.

 

[dustydiamond1]

I mean i can kind of understand why. My mom is allergic and neither of them had a cat growing up. Plus i used to dislike cats up until a couple years ago because the cats i had met were aloof and standoffish. But when i started trying to understand cats and cat behavior i realized just how amazing they can be.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

SIGH...my mother was not a cat person. OR a dog person, but she did understand those who were. Not a phone call came to my house that she didn't ask how her "grandcat" was doing. I doubt she really cared all that much one way or the other, but she knew and understood that I did. I lucked out.

 

[sabian]

SIGH...my mother was not a cat person. OR a dog person, but she did understand those who were. Not a phone call came to my house that she didn't ask how her "grandcat" was doing. I doubt she really cared all that much one way or the other, but she knew and understood that I did. I lucked out.

My mom's the same way. We had pets growing up but, she always acted like it was a burden. I think dad was the one that wanted to have a pet mostly. It never fails though! She always ask how my cats are doing when we talk.

 

[JamesCalifornia]

bodester said
I think some people have an undeveloped brain when it comes to empathy in those situations.
~ Agreed ! ´

 

[Max's Human]

I love kitties. Clearly. My family does not. My mom is deathly allergic and my dad just isn't a fan of them.

One of my all-time favorite shelter kitties passed away the other day. He was adopted thankfully, and I kept in touch with his new dad, but it still hits me hard since it wasn't even a year after adopting. He was 9 and was a stray his entire life.... I was hoping he would have more time.

I've been mourning and dealing with the grief for a couple days now. I tried to talk to my mom and dad about it (we've always been close), but their reaction really stunned me. My mom said "it's just a cat, it's not a person." And my dad said "c'mon, don't be dramatic, it's an animal." I wish I could say I haven't gotten this attitude before, but how do you explain to people who just don't understand that a cat isn't just a pet, they're much more than that?

 

[Max's Human]

I actually had a coworker tell me she "didn't get" how devastated I was when years ago I lost a kitten to feline leukemia, she was 9 months old, my world crumbled!!!
I told her it was like her son being deathly ill, since human children she related to, I do not! I love creatures large and small, human children seem like a headache....
To this day when I read RAINBOW BRIDGE, I start to tear up! Sylvia Brown, the psychic claimed our furkids will greet us when WE CROSS OVER and that sounds good to me.

 

[Purr-fect]

I remember when our little motu passed away, my wife and I actually had a little funeral service for her in our back yard.

We brought out 2 chairs for us. Picked out motus favorite spot in the garden......made sure it was a spot that would never be disturbed with the building of a new house in the future.

We buried her, played funeral music and said our goodbyes.

The area has no fencing and we were completely visible to all our neighbours, people walking by and passing cars.

They must have thought we were nuts. We didnt even notice them.

We would not have even bothered trying to explain our loss to them.

 

[Max's Human]

Smh. Some people just don’t understand. I came home today to my amazon prime packages of mouse toys, twine, and craft rods. Making cat toys for the shelter cats. Why? Because i know they’re probably so bored in their cages all day so if i can make them a toy they can play with, it’ll be less difficult for them and they may even get adopted faster.


Came home and my dad was pissed about how I’m “throwing away” my money on these shelter cats that aren’t even mine. I make good money. $80,000 and am saving to buy a condo. But they just don’t get it and see me buying and making things for the cats as wasting money “because they’re just cats” and it’s “sad” when people are surrounded by cats.


I’ve been pretty lucky to have good supporting parents but this attitude they have towards animals has really driven a wedge between us the past couple years. I’ve tried to introduce them to some animals or share pictures with them but they’re never interested. So i spend more time at the shelter and don’t talk to them much when i get home because i know they don’t care about the animals. Then they ask me why we’ve grown apart.... and then things have just been getting worse from there.

 

[Max's Human]

You are truly a wonderful, caring, loving person and if making goodies for the kitties makes your heart happy then go for it!

I was married to a shallow $$$male that claimed to love our pets but once they got terminal he expected me to give up and NOT spend his precious $$$ on things that made their final days and hours as comfortable as I could! Needless to say, i was given the ultimatum either the cats or him, 29 yrs married, But Happy To Say THE CATS STAYED!!!!!!!

 

[Purr-fect]

You are truly a wonderful, caring, loving person and if making goodies for the kitties makes your heart happy then go for it!

I was married to a shallow $$$male that claimed to love our pets but once they got terminal he expected me to give up and NOT spend his precious $$$ on things that made their final days and hours as comfortable as I could! Needless to say, i was given the ultimatum either the cats or him, 29 yrs married, But Happy To Say THE CATS STAYED!!!!!!!

Im lucky. My wife has loved our cats as much as I have.

But I suspect I would not have chosen a partner that didnt love animals. I think loving and being willing to care for pets is related to other aspects of a person's personality and the package without that trait would be lesser.

 

[blueyedgirl5946]

Ignore them. They don't know any better as most of them never had a pet.

 

[Alejandra Rico]

I usually say "and you are just an ape with hair problems, but, alas! I don't think you are less important for that". Needless to say I am not very popular
A week after my loved Alice died last year, I went to my -at that momment- boyfriend's home (let's call him X). His father opened the door and said "X told me that your cat is dead". I nodded, trying not to cry. Then he looked at me, with a really strange expression and asked "And did you cry?". "Of course", I answered. And then, with the slightest of laughs, he let me in.
No wonder why my boyfriend had so many poblems related to emotion recognition and dealing with feelings.

 

[betsygee]

SIGH...my mother was not a cat person. OR a dog person, but she did understand those who were. Not a phone call came to my house that she didn't ask how her "grandcat" was doing. I doubt she really cared all that much one way or the other, but she knew and understood that I did. I lucked out.

My mom asks about her grandcats, too.

I pretty know which of my friends/acquaintances are going to understand and which won't. I just don't share with the latter.

 

[di and bob]

They raised you to be more open hearted and empathetic then they were raised, but can't change the way they are, the 'core' that essentially makes up who they are.That's all right, not everyone can be the same, have the same beliefs, go through life the same way. I really think you are growing up, you are a separate person than an extension of them now, you have your own set of beliefs and feelings now and have to accept you will not likely change theirs. You HAVE grown apart, because really, that is the natural order of things,parents are supposed to raise children that are willing and able to go out into the world and make their own niche in it. Those that unwittingly make their children dependent on then, give them everything they want and need, make sure they never are 'hungry' or work to achieve satisfaction in actually earning something they covet, are not doing their child any favors in the long run. Accept them for who they are, and go on with your life. Life is too short to try to live someone else's life, you know what you believe in, these little ones you care for are eternally grateful for your care and love. Your Karma is greatly enhanced by your service to them. If you make their lives a little easier and more pleasant by giving them these gifts made with love and your own money, it is your own belief and money that does so, no one else's. I for one am grateful for people like you. For your love of cats, for your wonderful caring soul. We, on this site, will support and share your happiness and your sorrows, because we have the same beliefs and love for these special creAtures as you do. PlEase continue to share your triumphs and tragedies with us, we'll be there!