- Joined
- Jul 29, 2013
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- 44
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When my cat, Gimli, got sick I told my husband that if I lose him I don't want another cat. I swore up and down it couldn't be possible, but I'm finding my feelings on the topic have changed since losing Gimli to his unknown illness. My original position was that I could never love a cat like I loved him, and that is the truth. We all know cat relationships are diverse and unique to each cat. It's because of this that I'm now struggling. There is a huge void in my life that he left behind.
I have two other cats. Our ginger cat, Doodle, is bonded to my husband. He's very affectionate with me and routinely demands a cuddle session in the morning, but he's joined to my husband's hip most of the time. Mo is our newest adoptee, who is rather introverted. He will only accept pets inside his cat bed, his life still revolves around eating, sleeping and staring out the window all day. I like Mo for who he is, I accept that he probably won't bond to either of us in a very emotionally attached way. He's just happy to be warm and comfortable and I'm happy with that. But, I really miss having someone deeply bonded to me.
When I was sixteen I was kicked out of school for skipping too many classes. I was to return a semester later. Because I was home more my parents would take me out on errands. One day we popped into a pet store and that's where I first met Spencer. He was destiny in a cage. I remember he meowed and reached out to touch me with his delicate paws. I was in love and somehow managed to talk my mom into adopting him. I remember taking him home, I sat in the back seat of the car next to him, and he wanted to hold my hand all the way back. When we unpacked him into my room he jumped up on the bed, put his paws on my shoulders and showered me with very stinky kisses. It was the beginning of a long and beautiful relationship.
He was very emotionally intelligent, he preferred to be around me at all times. He loved to be close, often he would sleep under the covers by my chest, or he'd drape himself belly to belly, staring into my eyes and pawing gently at my face. He really was my best friend. I had never had a relationship like that before. I loved all of our cats, but I often referred to him as King of Cats because he was so different.
Spencer passed away at about 20 years old. I had Gimli by then and had moved out of my parents home (this was several years ago when Gim was about two). I was obviously very sad, but in bitter tears I lamented that Gimli was never going to be like that with me. He was hell on wheels, always getting into trouble and constantly attacking us. My husband, being the good man that he is, corrected me and told me that I wasn't being fair to Gimli. And sure enough he was right. Over the next six years Gimli developed into another emotionally intelligent cat with an extreme bond to me. I had raised him from a kitten, and he came to regard me as the end all be all. I was mother and he never let me forget it. We had endless cuddle sessions, he followed me from room to room and would lean all his weight into me, or curl his tail around my leg. He'd watch me work every day. His obsession with me would drive my husband nuts because if I left the room Gimli would wail like Chewbacca. It was awesome.
I really long for that kind of relationship again. While I'm not ready to adopt (for emotional reasons plus home renos) I'm a little confused with how to move forward when the time is right. We're strictly a rescue family, we either adopt from charities or we've rescued abandoned kittens. I've never adopted a kitten because they're always inevitably adopted so I go for adult cats who are harder to adopt out. But I feel like this time around I might benefit from a kitten because my two cats are four and eight years old, and I want to stagger their ages, plus I want a mother child bond again. I can't help but feel extremely guilty for considering a kitten though because I think about all the older cats in need of good loving homes, especially since Spencer was six years when I got him, so an older cat could love me the same. I wish we had something like a cat cafe here so I could sit and visit cats and I could get to know them. It's not the same seeing them in cages, if they've not been fostered or have a history it's harder to get a feel for them.
How do you go about adopting? Do you prefer kittens, adults, seniors? Do you think it's best to pair adult cats with a kitten or stick with mature cats together? Is this really just me and I'm overthinking it?
Thanks!
I have two other cats. Our ginger cat, Doodle, is bonded to my husband. He's very affectionate with me and routinely demands a cuddle session in the morning, but he's joined to my husband's hip most of the time. Mo is our newest adoptee, who is rather introverted. He will only accept pets inside his cat bed, his life still revolves around eating, sleeping and staring out the window all day. I like Mo for who he is, I accept that he probably won't bond to either of us in a very emotionally attached way. He's just happy to be warm and comfortable and I'm happy with that. But, I really miss having someone deeply bonded to me.
When I was sixteen I was kicked out of school for skipping too many classes. I was to return a semester later. Because I was home more my parents would take me out on errands. One day we popped into a pet store and that's where I first met Spencer. He was destiny in a cage. I remember he meowed and reached out to touch me with his delicate paws. I was in love and somehow managed to talk my mom into adopting him. I remember taking him home, I sat in the back seat of the car next to him, and he wanted to hold my hand all the way back. When we unpacked him into my room he jumped up on the bed, put his paws on my shoulders and showered me with very stinky kisses. It was the beginning of a long and beautiful relationship.
He was very emotionally intelligent, he preferred to be around me at all times. He loved to be close, often he would sleep under the covers by my chest, or he'd drape himself belly to belly, staring into my eyes and pawing gently at my face. He really was my best friend. I had never had a relationship like that before. I loved all of our cats, but I often referred to him as King of Cats because he was so different.
Spencer passed away at about 20 years old. I had Gimli by then and had moved out of my parents home (this was several years ago when Gim was about two). I was obviously very sad, but in bitter tears I lamented that Gimli was never going to be like that with me. He was hell on wheels, always getting into trouble and constantly attacking us. My husband, being the good man that he is, corrected me and told me that I wasn't being fair to Gimli. And sure enough he was right. Over the next six years Gimli developed into another emotionally intelligent cat with an extreme bond to me. I had raised him from a kitten, and he came to regard me as the end all be all. I was mother and he never let me forget it. We had endless cuddle sessions, he followed me from room to room and would lean all his weight into me, or curl his tail around my leg. He'd watch me work every day. His obsession with me would drive my husband nuts because if I left the room Gimli would wail like Chewbacca. It was awesome.
I really long for that kind of relationship again. While I'm not ready to adopt (for emotional reasons plus home renos) I'm a little confused with how to move forward when the time is right. We're strictly a rescue family, we either adopt from charities or we've rescued abandoned kittens. I've never adopted a kitten because they're always inevitably adopted so I go for adult cats who are harder to adopt out. But I feel like this time around I might benefit from a kitten because my two cats are four and eight years old, and I want to stagger their ages, plus I want a mother child bond again. I can't help but feel extremely guilty for considering a kitten though because I think about all the older cats in need of good loving homes, especially since Spencer was six years when I got him, so an older cat could love me the same. I wish we had something like a cat cafe here so I could sit and visit cats and I could get to know them. It's not the same seeing them in cages, if they've not been fostered or have a history it's harder to get a feel for them.
How do you go about adopting? Do you prefer kittens, adults, seniors? Do you think it's best to pair adult cats with a kitten or stick with mature cats together? Is this really just me and I'm overthinking it?
Thanks!