How Do I Know If She Was Ready?

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joyfulrose

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No she is not just a cat, she is an extension of your heart. I truly understand you. Of all my cats, Bourbon is the one closest to me, and I cannot imagine my world without her.

Hang in there. It takes time for the heart to recover, but it will happen. Your kitty would not want you to dwell on this grief for a long time.

My prayers.
Yes, exactly that, she truly is an extension of my heart, you understand completely. Thank you for understanding.
I have three other kitties and I love them all dearly but Rosie was different. She was the one closest to me, as you said about your sweet bourbon, she was the one kitty i couldn't imagine not having in my life. I can't imagine losing any of them but She was the one I spent all my days and nights with loving, cuddling, taking care of for 17 years. My other cats are all more independent and not as affectionate as my baby was. They prefer to be left alone at times. But not my Rosie, She was the one who understood me and she loved me soo so much. Always wanted to be with me and near me. If i left a room that she was in for just a few mins she would meow constantly until i came back. She would also bring me gifts every single night ( her toys) and leave them on my bed, as if to show me how much she loved me and cared for me. She slept next to me every single night since she was a kitten. There was not one day that went by where she wasn't right there next to my head or sleeping on my arms. I remember times when i would wanna cuddle her and i would call out her name so softly and she would instantly come to me. She loved me so much and I loved her too. We had such a special bond. She's been with me through my young teen years, through my college years, and now my adult years. I always knew losing her would be hard on me. I would often say to my family or friends I don't know what I would do if I ever lost her. I don't know how I would be able to go on. It's now gonna be 10 months in 3 days since I've lost her and I still feel so sad about it all. I just miss her so much, I wish i could go back and see her one last time. I miss her sweet face :(
i know it will take time for me to heal and I am trying as best as I can to just take it day by day.
 

di and bob

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It's all you can do.....
My Chrissy was my soul mate, and when she died i felt as if a part of myself was ripped away, and in a way it was. My husband often commented, "Chrissy is just like you!". Even after 7 years the tears can come easily.
You never get over something like this, you just learn to adjust your life around it. You can't see the years ahead as those without her, you will learn to appreciate what you had and to concentrate on what a blessing she was. You have had years of joy and happiness with her, to make her death overshadow all that is to make life unbearable.
There is no easy or quick way to get through grief, it is what it is. It takes as long as it takes. For a love that is as strong as yours, it takes more than the passing of time to lessen the ache, it takes active concentration to find happiness once more. One day you will find that life can be lived again, as it is meant to be. As your precious girl wants for you. The gut wrenching sobs will eventually turn to the silent trickle of tears, as the memories turn to what a joy she was, instead of the pain of loss. These dark days will be forever seared into your memories, but just like they took over your life, the happy memories will push them to the back if you let them. It may seem hopeless now, but it will happen in time, one day at a time.......
 

les26

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Try the Ignatia Amara if you do try one of the two, the other being the Holy Basil, it helps with grief and shock and sadness, it won't mask your symptoms it will help your body accept your feelings and deal with things better. The Holy Basil will help you deal with any excess stress, but please Google and read about them, I think the Ignatia could be of great help right now.

God Bless.....:alright:
 
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joyfulrose

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Awww what a sweet face.
Thank you. She truly was the sweetest cat I ever knew. You could see it in her face and her kind eyes. She was so loving and had such a beautiful heart. I miss her so much. :(
 

les26

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She looks very much like our Samantha and Stanley, very similar.

What a sweetie, rest in peace little one until you meet again....
 
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joyfulrose

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She looks very much like our Samantha and Stanley, very similar.

What a sweetie, rest in peace little one until you meet again....
Aw do you have any photos you'd like to share?
She was the most stunning cat I've ever seen, it's so hard to go on without seeing her beautiful face every day...
 

les26

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Aw do you have any photos you'd like to share?
She was the most stunning cat I've ever seen, it's so hard to go on without seeing her beautiful face every day...
I wish I could, I'm not a very up to date technology person lol, don't even have a camera that takes pictures!
 

christfawk

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I am sure what I'm about to say has been said in previous replies, however I want to reach out and say I'm sorry for your pain, and I'm sorry for your beautiful cat's pain. I'm sorry for the horrible experience you had at the er, and hope the passage of time can help heal your heart.

I wanted to make my own reply because just two weeks ago tonight the love of my life left me, by my decision, at the er just like your cat. There will never be a day I won't have the thought "but what if he could have lived? What if, even though his chances were so small, the treatment would have saved him?" Its agonizing to have those thoughts, the what ifs, but for as cold as the er staff was to you, if they say she was suffering you made the right decision. I have worked in vets offices, and I know they aren't lying when they say suffering is occurring. It's hard as a pet parent to comes to terms with those words, but I cannot tell you how many times in my career I have told someone their pet is is pain and they simply don't believe because they dont want to. If your kitty really did have FIP or cancer, those are both awful, suffering deaths to allow to transpire. I know you are shaky in your decision, but please find the strength within you to say "I took away her pain, and gave it to myself" because that is what you surely did. As awful as it is to be without her, imagine having to watch her slowly, painfully decay because you did bot have the will to make that choice.

I imagine my Rudy, who maybe, just maybe could have lived with treatment, long hospital stays, rehabilitation and medication. I am anguished by the what ifs. But, then I think of him instead, what if the treatment didn't work as it almost surely would not have, and instead of a peaceful sleep with his mother and father holding him he would have died alone, suffering and in pain, two hours away from the only home hes ever known? I know when I remember the alternative that I made the right choice.

Its hard, terribly hard to know, in your heart even against logic dictating a chance would exist that you made the best decision, but for all the love you had for your baby I hope your doubt can be replaced by all the love you had for her in life.
 
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joyfulrose

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I am sure what I'm about to say has been said in previous replies, however I want to reach out and say I'm sorry for your pain, and I'm sorry for your beautiful cat's pain. I'm sorry for the horrible experience you had at the er, and hope the passage of time can help heal your heart.

I wanted to make my own reply because just two weeks ago tonight the love of my life left me, by my decision, at the er just like your cat. There will never be a day I won't have the thought "but what if he could have lived? What if, even though his chances were so small, the treatment would have saved him?" Its agonizing to have those thoughts, the what ifs, but for as cold as the er staff was to you, if they say she was suffering you made the right decision. I have worked in vets offices, and I know they aren't lying when they say suffering is occurring. It's hard as a pet parent to comes to terms with those words, but I cannot tell you how many times in my career I have told someone their pet is is pain and they simply don't believe because they dont want to. If your kitty really did have FIP or cancer, those are both awful, suffering deaths to allow to transpire. I know you are shaky in your decision, but please find the strength within you to say "I took away her pain, and gave it to myself" because that is what you surely did. As awful as it is to be without her, imagine having to watch her slowly, painfully decay because you did bot have the will to make that choice.

I imagine my Rudy, who maybe, just maybe could have lived with treatment, long hospital stays, rehabilitation and medication. I am anguished by the what ifs. But, then I think of him instead, what if the treatment didn't work as it almost surely would not have, and instead of a peaceful sleep with his mother and father holding him he would have died alone, suffering and in pain, two hours away from the only home hes ever known? I know when I remember the alternative that I made the right choice.

Its hard, terribly hard to know, in your heart even against logic dictating a chance would exist that you made the best decision, but for all the love you had for your baby I hope your doubt can be replaced by all the love you had for her in life.
Thank you so much for everything you said, I truly appreciate it.
I'm so so sorry for your loss. My heart is with you.
 

JamesCalifornia

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I know there must have been something serious going on, she had fluid in her belly, had trouble urinating, was getting weaker and weaker.
I just feel horrible that maybe it wasn't the right time. That maybe it was too soon.
~ If this was the case then she was definitely very uncomfortable - likely in advanced kidney failure. Not pleasant ! Much better to euthanize than die that way.
If your sister is an M.D. she will explain this to you. Happens in people too.
:vibes: Peace to you & kitty ... :cloud9:
 

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I'm late here, but I just wanted to chime in and say I think it's 100% natural to doubt. I had to make the decision to help my Winter pass on in August and I still doubt today, wondering if I could have squeezed another few days, hours, or minutes. I think when it comes to our furry family, we will always doubt in any case where they don't go on their own. But in the end what you did was an act of tremendous love: You chose to free her from pain at the cost of your own pain. I think doubt is just the want to be 100% sure you did everything you could, and that's completely normal and natural.

I'm so sorry for your loss.
 

di and bob

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Being a nurse, I have seen many family members decide to insert breathing tubes, put in feeding tubes, put 90 year olds through horrible cancer surgeries, and I question what is going on. I truly believe every human being, every life whether human or not, should be measured in quality of life, not quantity of years or time on this earth after all joy and wonder found in life is gone.. The fact that we can prolong suffering by prolonging life that has no cure in the future, no hope to be pain free or live a productive life, for our own need to keep that life on this earth for a long as we can, just because we can, brings me pain. Never doubt yourself when you can end that pain and suffering in those little ones we love. Let them go in a dignified manner when living is to be tolerated, and suffering is evident. Do exactly what you want for your own end, every act carried out with love, stemming from that deep and abiding love, cannot be wrong......
 
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joyfulrose

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I'm late here, but I just wanted to chime in and say I think it's 100% natural to doubt. I had to make the decision to help my Winter pass on in August and I still doubt today, wondering if I could have squeezed another few days, hours, or minutes. I think when it comes to our furry family, we will always doubt in any case where they don't go on their own. But in the end what you did was an act of tremendous love: You chose to free her from pain at the cost of your own pain. I think doubt is just the want to be 100% sure you did everything you could, and that's completely normal and natural.

I'm so sorry for your loss.
I'm so sorry about your beloved Winter. RIP angel ❤

You're right. The hardest thing for me has been the not being 100% certain that i did every possible thing I could have to help her or save her, or somehow change the outcome. I never wanted to be the one who had to make this difficult decision. What's also hard was the ER vets were the ones who recommended euthanasia. I wasn't expecting it. Not that night. I thought they would give me some antibitoics and we would be on our way back home. I thought she had a UTI. The vets made me feel like i would have been a horrible person if I didn't put her to sleep, the way they looked at me when I broke down and started crying, asking them if there was anything we could do, if i could just spend one more night with her. And them refusing to run any tests because they believed my sweet baby was dying. It was my first time going through this and I wasn't ready. And it's not that i wanted to keep her alive for myself.(i mean of course i wanted her in my life forever if it were possible, i loved her and couldn't imagine her not being by my side) But I truly believed that something could have been done to help her. Even when so many vets told me they suspected she may have had FIP or Cancer. Pancreatitis or Kidney issues. "Something very bad" Even when they would tell me they didn't think she would make it because none of this looked good. I still had hope. I still prayed. I still believed some way she would get better. Maybe it's stupid of me to think that, but it's what I truly felt in my heart. Everyone tells me that I did so much, that I did everything i could have and nothing was working. But there were so many things I never tried that may have helped and I'm heartbroken that I never got the chance to try.
 

di and bob

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The operative word here is try. You would have never been able to try everything. You did the best you could with what you had at the time. And though you believe there could have been more, the outcome would have been the same, just prolonged for her, and your love for her could not do that. Her organs were most likely shutting down, vets have seen so many times scenarios like this. They would not recommend euthanasia if they thought there was a chance, they know what suffering looks like, what we, ourselves deny, because our love and concern takes over reasonable thinking. They seem like they are rushing you, forcing you to make a choice your herat can't do, but in reality they are doing it solely for the little one in front of them. Their hearts are not involed so they can see clearly what lays ahead, because they have seen it so many times before. A little bit of their soul dies each time they have to tell a grieving human this, but someone has to stop the pain.....
I'm so very sorry that your pain is so overwhelming, I think back to my first years and know it well. It takes a long time, but time is teh only thing that helps. I am here to tell you there IS a light at the end of that tunnel called grief, I never thought so either. But it takes so very long, one day at a time........
 
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