How did you know it was time?

[lisar]

I've not posted about my furkids in a little while. To be honest things have been rough... and this is an understatement.

Isabell my eldest who was diagnosed with CRF has been not doing well. She has gone steadily downhill starting about April. I've not really posted about it because I've been at a loss. Also been working really hard on fixing the problems.

It started with some UTI's, and peeing on the floor. No problem. I brought her to the vet and got it all cleared up. Her CRF has been holding steady in a some-what moderate stage. She is on medicine for blood pressure. A few months ago she woke me up screaming at 6am... and keep in mind I goto bed at like 2am... it is hard to wake me up at this time. I couldn't figure out what was wrong... she was just yelling at the top of her lungs. When I got up she got really cuddly and this scared me naturally so I took her to the vet. The vet looked concerned and did some xrays... because it was the only thing that HADN'T done in her senior panel. Well she has arthritis, really bad. So now she is on painkillers... and seems happier. They kind of make her groggy but at least she doesn't cry and seem to be in as much pain.

Because of her arthritis, she misses the box a lot or will not walk all the way into it. I've been slowly getting more litter boxes... when she pees on a spot I'll clean it and cover it with a box... I'm up to 9 litter boxes of all shapes and sizes.. Tomorrow before work I'll be getting box #10 simply because I found a new spot tonight.

Isabell has lost a lot of weight, as well. Last year she weighed about 9lbs... now she runs 5-6lbs. She also will throw up her food a lot, most of what she eats doesn't stay down.

For the most part she seems okay. Happy even. There are times when it seems like she is in a lot of pain. I'm starting to wonder, if I am waiting too long. I'm starting to wonder will I know when it is time or am I too clouded with my feelings...? I have no experience with old sick cats. This is my first one, and I love her dearly. I'm starting to doubt my choice for the pain killers ... I still remember that night so clearly.

This is no easy question and I've been debating asking it. How DID you know when it was time for your kitty? Was there an event, did they cry, what did you do?

 

[cat_crazy]

I don't have experience with older sick cats but I do know when I would say it's time.
What is their quality of life? If their not eating well, not feeling very well most of the time, constantly having to take meds and going to the vet, not themselves, seem like their in pain etc. and they aren't going to be getting better, what kind of life is that?

At the end it's your decision. No one can make that decision for you. You have to think "Am I acting in the best interest of her or am I being selfish?"

 

[petfindergal]

Originally Posted by LisaR

I've not posted about my furkids in a little while. To be honest things have been rough... and this is an understatement.

Isabell my eldest who was diagnosed with CRF has been not doing well. She has gone steadily downhill starting about April. I've not really posted about it because I've been at a loss. Also been working really hard on fixing the problems.

It started with some UTI's, and peeing on the floor. No problem. I brought her to the vet and got it all cleared up. Her CRF has been holding steady in a some-what moderate stage. She is on medicine for blood pressure. A few months ago she woke me up screaming at 6am... and keep in mind I goto bed at like 2am... it is hard to wake me up at this time. I couldn't figure out what was wrong... she was just yelling at the top of her lungs. When I got up she got really cuddly and this scared me naturally so I took her to the vet. The vet looked concerned and did some xrays... because it was the only thing that HADN'T done in her senior panel. Well she has arthritis, really bad. So now she is on painkillers... and seems happier. They kind of make her groggy but at least she doesn't cry and seem to be in as much pain.

Because of her arthritis, she misses the box a lot or will not walk all the way into it. I've been slowly getting more litter boxes... when she pees on a spot I'll clean it and cover it with a box... I'm up to 9 litter boxes of all shapes and sizes.. Tomorrow before work I'll be getting box #10 simply because I found a new spot tonight.

Isabell has lost a lot of weight, as well. Last year she weighed about 9lbs... now she runs 5-6lbs. She also will throw up her food a lot, most of what she eats doesn't stay down.

For the most part she seems okay. Happy even. There are times when it seems like she is in a lot of pain. I'm starting to wonder, if I am waiting too long. I'm starting to wonder will I know when it is time or am I too clouded with my feelings...? I have no experience with old sick cats. This is my first one, and I love her dearly. I'm starting to doubt my choice for the pain killers ... I still remember that night so clearly.

This is no easy question and I've been debating asking it. How DID you know when it was time for your kitty? Was there an event, did they cry, what did you do?

Your letter made my eyes well up. I have been there, and it's brutal. It's obvious how much you love your cat, because you're considering what's best for her, not how tough it is or will be for you. I'll try to keep this short. My best friend was a black cat, who in her senior years developed a cancerous tumor on her leg. We had the tumor removed several times, but it always came back. At age 18, after gathering several different professional opinions, a surgeon removed her hind leg. Because despite the cancer, she was still a happy, active cat. And, she got adapted beautifully--I wished I'd done it sooner. But one day, just short of her 20th birthday, I came home to find her dragging herself along the carpet. She had lost control of her hindquarters (we still don't know what happened) but it was permanent. As with all her other challenges, Sam tried to adapt, so we tried, too. But, within a week, we realized, that Sam was trapped in a body she couldn't control. She looked like a cat, but she stopped being a cat, in every way that matters to a cat. Not to be able to play or jump on the sofa? Not to even be able to use the litter box without help? That's no life. Our vet helped us decide that the right thing to do was to finally let her go. If you trust your vet, that's a big burden lifted. The vet came to our house, and we euthanized her in our living room. She was in my arms, when she passed. I was devastated, but it was the right time. And, I don't know whether or not you believe in reincarnation, but when I finally healed, and got a new kitty, Shai, I discovered she's SO much like Sam, it's surreal. I feel like I got my baby back. Bless you. Just trust yourself to know when it's right.

 

[ladyhitchhiker]

With my Linus it was a combination of things. We got the bad news that we would need to remove all of his teeth due to the tooth resorption disease on Thursday. First of all, something you should know, that Linus had two things he loved above all things in this world, and that was food and me.

Over the weekend his heart and his kidneys started to go. He started having moments where was just cold and unresponsive, then Monday morning when he wasn't sleeping he was in the cat box, peeing. He barely wanted me to pet him. I just didn't want him to have to experience the indignity of not being able to use the cat box, messing all over the house, since his complications were progressing so fast, and I couldn't watch him starve.

I knew it was time to go. By Saturday, I was already planning on putting him to sleep on Monday, because of how downhill he was going and so fast.

I guess you have to pick what's most important in your cat's life and see if they're still enjoying it.

My Linus would swim (knead the air) when he heard the Beatles. For his last few days whenever I was home I played the Beatles for him. He didn't feel good enough to swim, but he would tilt his ear and listen to them sing to him. When he didn't want to listen to them anymore, this was another sign.

I just figured that even if I went through the surgery, and he survived, what would his quality of life be after that? Eating would be enormously difficult (as I'd gone through a previous surgery with him and recuperation was extremely tough) and that is one of the things he truly loved.

And then when being loved by me wasn't hardly important at all, I knew it was time.

So I sent him to the bridge. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do.

I know each cat's situation is different, and bless you for how much you love your kitty. I wish you peace with your decision, whether it's keeping your baby around or letting her go.

 

[catlover73]

I am sorry you are being faced with having to make this difficult and heart-breaking decision. I had to make this decision for my senior kitty Claude last month after he had a stroke. Claude was 15 and had been in my life since the day he was born. Claude was a kitty that seemed to think he was a dog. He would greet you, follow you around the house and take showers. He never had an accident in my house ever.

When Claude had his stroke my hubby came home from work and found him hiding in a closet. He found a poop stain on the stairs and poop stuck to Claude's fur. Claude could not walk more than a few step without falling over so he could not get to the litterbox but had obviously tried. He also would not eat and could not take showers any more without help. Claude had been through other health scares and was pretty skinny but he was fairly healthy before the unexpected stroke happened.

Claude's favorite thing since he was a baby was showers. We talked during previous health scares and had decided that a big signal for us was going to be if Claude could no longer enjoy his favorite thing that it may be time to let him go. After he had his stroke he had this look in his eyes look he was looking straight through us. He could not acknowledge us at and all and he was normally very affectionate. I gave Claude one last shower by putting him in the back of the tub and taking a short shower with him. I picked him up and wrapped him in a howl towel. A healthy Claude would have torn my skin off if I ever tried to wrap him a towel after a shower.

After the stroke his quality of life was non-existent. We did take him to the vet and talked to the vet. The decision was made by the three of us that it was time to let him go. This was the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. Deep down I knew it was probably time before talking to the vet. All I can say is you know what makes your cat happy and if he can no longer do things he or she enjoys then it may be time to say goodbye. It is painful to say goodbye but sometimes it is necessary to prevent pain and suffering that your baby may not understand. If you watch your cat's behavior you will know when it is time.

 

[lisar]

I feel I"m at a loss because she has good days and bad days. I feel in my heart when a bad day is "bad enough"... for instance today she came out and greeted me and ate like normal. Like nothing was wrong with her little body. Today will probably be a good day.

She still acts like Isabell and a cat, is just she is so sick. She will even play with EG on good days. The main issue is the arthritis is in her back legs and that makes it painful to jump up on things and of course pee. Thanks for the replies guys. I feel in my heart that the end is near for her.

Thanks for your thoughts but I have to go to work! Sigh. Oh well at least I have 9 days off after today.

 

[mews2much]

You just described my Coco who was pts 2 weeks ago.
She threw a blood clot and had a stroke then threw another blood clot.
Her left side was paralyzed at the end.
The day she was was pts I knew it was time because she tried to get on the pan and was laying there crying with her bad leg hanging out.
I took her out and she dragged herself back in to lay there.
I would go as long as you can.
Also do you need meds or anything.
I have a whole bottle of bp meds ect.
If you need to talk let me know.
Coco was 18.6 and we found out 2 years ago today she had high bp and CRF.
Are you giving your cat Pepcid A/C for the nasea?
I can give you alot of advice.
10 years ago today my Stripe had a massive stroke and threw a blood clot and was pts Sept 27th 2000.

 

[ducman69]

I don't think I would be a good person to make a decision for my kitties, as I'm already far too attached and would be too emotional to make a rational quality-of-life decision since I wouldn't want to see them go. I'd just sit down and have a talk with a trusted and respected veterinarian on what is best.

 

[eilcon]

I really feel for you and Isabell and will be thinking of both of you.

This same question has been on my mind over the past couple of months as my Katie, who's 17, has been having some problems with her appetite and no obvious health issues. I've been in close contact with our vet during this time and we are closely monitoring Katie and addressing the situation.

Katie has always been healthy and I don't think the end is imminent for her, but given, her age, I've been considering the question and have discussed it with our vet. For me it boils down to quality of life and what's best for Katie. She's been part of my life since she was 6 weeks old, so I know this cat well and trust that I'll know when it's time to let her go. I do know that I'm not going to put her through any unnecessary poking or prodding that will just add to her stress level. I'm not going to let her suffer and I'm not going to keep her around just because it's too hard for me to make the decision to let her go. It's not about me. It's about her. After all the love and joy she's brought me, I owe her that.

 

[cheylink]

Your thread brought tears to my eyes, I know how hard this can be......
Sweety was 16 years old when she suddenly became ill. It started out as maybe a cold, tired, heavy breathing, within 36 hours we had to bring her to the emergency vet. When I called her to me, she was purring as I placed her in the carrier. I was in tears all the way there, holding her in my arms. I handed her over and Eric and I sat in the waiting room for an hour. At one point we heard a kitty screaming in the back and I lost it, begging for it to not be her...
The doctor came out and told us that she was very ill, xrays showed her lungs full of fluid. It was either congestive heart failure or cancer. She told us what they could do medically to possibly prolong her life for 6 months to a year, then I asked if it was her I heard screaming.....It was her, I knew right then that I couldn't ask any more of her, she was in so much pain and scared. I made the decision to have her put to sleep...She was brought into the room we were in, her eyes were dilated and she was struggling for air, I held her, crying as I am right now, calmed her down, told her how much I loved her. She calmed down, even started to purr, and thats when I said it was ok to start. They put her to sleep, then euthanize and she died in my arms. I have to tell you that it was the hardest thing I ever experienced, and sharing this right now could be the second hardest.

 

[jcm1980]

This thread also brought tears to my eyes.

A few weeks ago I had to put one of my cats to sleep. We had him for only 10 months but loved him like a child. He got a blocked kidney and got very sick very fast (went from fine to barely moving in 24 hours). When we brought him to the vet they unblocked him. They took his bloodwork and the levels of toxins (I forget exactly what the name of them were) were unreadable by their machines because they were so high. We tried to save him and after keeping him at the vets for a few days, brought him home and tried to nurse him back to health. Pills, liquid medicine, shots of fluids under his skin, the whole works. He got better for a few weeks but was peeing all over the house. I dealt with it by putting towels down and pretty much chasing him around the house with a towel whenever he started to pee on the furniture. After about a month of that he got twitchy and restless and was having a hard time eating and sleeping. We brought him right back to the vet and his bloodwork was again out of control. The vet thought he had long term kidney damage and it was highly unlikely he would ever fully recover- the best we could do was to prolong his life. At this point we knew that it was time to euthanize him even though he was only four years old! I knew that I had given him the opportunity to heal and survive (and all the care we could provide him), but the little guy just couldn't heal himself.

I think that if you have done all you could for your cat (and it sounds like you have), and they are suffering to the point where they are unable to enjoy their lives then its time to let them go. For me, I couldnt justify keeping my cat alive and suffering just for my own benefit or to alleviate my guilt at having to make the choice to end his life. It hurts, but it has to be done for the cat. With that being said, of course it will be extremely difficult and I wish you the best of luck with it. My condolences as well.

 

[hissy]

Usually, when you have to ask the question, it is time. One very observant vet told me years ago when I was also wrestling with this question that "When their pain ends, ours begins." Sometimes, we tend to stall the inevitable because we know what is coming up the road for us. Another vet told me recently when I was dealing with an infectious disease with a litter of rescued kittens and putting off the inevitable- "Rather to soon than too late." I always just ask the cat in question. I look at the life of the kitty now, versus what it was before. I look into her eyes and ask her if she wants to go on. The eyes generally hold the answer, if you are receptive to receiving it.

Because I deal with high-risk kittens and cats who are health compromised. I have had to make this decision so many times. It never gets easier to sign that paper, but I have been with each one as they leave the world and I have seen the easing of pain that most have carried without anyone giving a darn about their welfare.

 

[ladyhitchhiker]

Originally Posted by hissy

Usually, when you have to ask the question, it is time.

These are sage words of advice and thank you for sharing them. I wish I had heard these words when I was trying to decide what to do about Linus, instead of everyone fighting to try and find a way to keep him around, not that he wasn't worth keeping around, but it was his time. Those words would have helped a lot with my decision. Thank you so much. I will remember this in the future.

 

[seulf]

My first kitty, Lucy, had to be put down in January. She had been struggling through cancer for about six months - she was 12 years old. I waited too long, and she ended up not eating and drinking for a few days and going into shock. We had to race to the vet and have her put down on the spot instead of choosing when ourselves. It's not a good feeling to see an animal stressed out and in pain like that. Don't let yourself go through it.

What Hissy posted is the truth. When you start considering whether it's worth it or not to keep an animal alive, it probably isn't. We have to remember as pet parents that our babies live in the moment, and if their moment is filled with discomfort and a loss of their dignity... It's time for them to move on. That's the best way we can soothe them.

 

[plebayo]

Re-read what you wrote. Your 9lb cat weighs roughly 5lbs. Just about half of what she should weigh. Do you see that as being okay?

I'm struggling with this myself. My dog just got diagnosed with kidney failure. She had lost 2lbs, which was a lot for her but has been faithfully eating k/d. We put her on IV fluids over the weekend last week and her values dropped slightly. She only got about a liter of fluids because the line wouldn't stay in the catheter so I gave her subq fluids for a week. Unfortunately her values went up. I will recheck values in a week, if they aren't improved then it is time. I know for me, I want to be able to split a burger with my dog and take her to a couple of parks before she goes - if I wait until she quits eating or feels like poop, I can't do that.

Someone brought up on another forum at least when you have to make the big decision you actually get to say goodbye. If she continues to go downhill you may not have that chance. Regardless, I'm sorry you are going through this, it's really hard and it really bites.

 

[lovewhiskers]

I am so sorry you are going through this right now. I too like the others who replied to the thread know this pain. We lost Heidi Ann to severe arthritis in August 2009. She could not move at all in the end, not even drag herself. Her state of mind, apetite etc were great but her legs were failing her.

We gave her daily baths and kept her immaculate since she would pee and poo wherever she was at. Meds were not helping anymore. She was not comfortable if we put her up high on window perches or kitty trees because she felt out of control since she could not move. She was miserable in her floor kitty beds because she could not watch the world go by from the floor.

My husband had a very hard time agreeing with me that it was time. Until we had an animal communicator talk to Heidi. She told me that she has never met a lonelier animal. Our main focus was taking care of Heidi but nothing could replace the loss of her mobility and this cut her connection to the world. No matter what we did for her. So we let her go. Our vet came to our home and Heidi was gone in a few seconds after the injection. She was that ready.
When I realized that Heidi was ready to go I asked her if she was and she perked up and was able that day to walk a few steps. I took this as a sign of relief on her part that I understood what she wanted.

Ask your baby, she will tell you but I think she already did.
Marina

 

[rawvixen]

So sorry for this sad time. Am thinking of you, and glad you came here for support.