How can I encourage my cat to cuddle with me?

tinysalmon

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I've had my cat for about 6 months now. Her previous owner said she used to rest her head on his arm when they slept. But then his wife started to shoo her off the bed. We let her sleep/lie on our beds whenever she wants, but when we try to cuddle or get on the bed, she either moves to another corner or jumps off. Is it possible to gain her trust or make her feel more comfortable when around us in this situation? Other than that, I think she has settled comfortably with everything else. She's just sometimes a big scaredy cat as she had a tough past as  a kitten with the owner before her previous owner. 

edit: oops i realized i didn't post this in the most appropriate thread. sorry! dont know how to fix it :S 
 
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rafm

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I would make the bed a special place where she gets an extra special treat she only gets there. She has been trained to not be there, you have to retrain her and to do that, she needs encouragement and positive reinforcement.

Thanks for taking her in and understanding her special needs.
 

redvelvetone

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My husband and I adopted a feral kitten from a rescue group a month that was a bit of a scaredy cat at first - very friendly if you pet him, but also timid / skittish and would run away at the slightest movement. We are now at the point where he's now cuddling with us and I did it really gradually, by letting him approach us and petting him and giving him treats for coming up to us.

Last night he cuddled between my husband and I on the couch for the first time. We encouraged him by putting a treat on the couch and after he ate it he started to investigate the couch a little and then curled up between us. It was so cute! And I got him interested in going on our bed by playing with some of his toys on it. (When we first got him he hid under our bed as his "safe spot". However, he'd poke his head out to play with string or other toys so we gradually got him coming out by tempting him with toys etc. And then I got him thinking about going on the bed by tossing up some of his ball etc onto the bed. At first he'd be hesitant to go up there, but after a while he couldn't resist going after something. At first he'd jump up, grab the toy and jump back off again, but as he got more comfortable, he'd stay longer up there, and then even nap there. And then once, while he was napping there, I got up on the bed very slowly and lay down beside him and was petting him.

So maybe try something like that, but putting his toys or a treat up on the bed for him and then giving him lots of attention while he's on the bed. Just be patient. Good luck!
 

Anne

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I moved your thread to the Behavior Forum


In the future, when you need a moderator to manage a thread (move it, edit, or handle any problem), just click the little red flag icon that's under every post to send a message to the mods in charge of the forum.
 

momofmany

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I agree with the others. Make the places where you want her to cuddle with you "happy places". Either use treats, or if she loves to be petted a certain way, do that in those spots. It may take a little bit of time for her to learn these things, so give her lots of patience.
 

p3 and the king

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Cats are creatures of habit.  And you can't force them to do anything.  What I would do, is maybe get down on the floor with a pillow and let her come to you.  Do this slowly and maybe encourage her to sit on your lap as you pet her, don't confine her though... Cats hate that.  Just be open to petting and her sitting on your lap with a little longer and a little more each time.  Her comfort level and her being the driver in deciding how much she wants.  Eventually she should be more receptive to cuddling... Or maybe not.  It depends on how much of this shooing has been engraved into her pschie.  (SP?) 

Treats are a good method to get started.  What I do is I encourage them to eat out of my hand. If they can eat from your hand, the trust and relationship is established is the way I see it. 
 
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