Hissing Cat

dn1222

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My cat has recently begun to hiss and growl at my grandchildren.
Maggie is almost two years old and has been around my grandchildren since I adopted her when she was about 12 weeks old. We went on vacation and had my daughter look after her, in our home. She would stop by each morning and again in the evenings. On some of the visits she had the girls with her. On our first day home the girls came to visit. Maggie went right to them, as usual. After they were here for several hours the hissing started. The cat was in the family room laying on the floor, when the kids walked by her she started hissing. Of course they were frightened and ran from her.
As far as I know they did nothing to provoke her. When they are here someone is always with them. The kids stop by at least three times a week and stay for a few hours each time. They have not stayed overnight since this started but are scheduled to soon. Should I put the cat in the basement when they visit? If she is in another room and they enter without me, I don't know what she will do. My husband wants me to give her away but if I can fix this situation I would really like to try. Does anyone have any suggestions?
 

sandie

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My guess is the kids did something to frighten her. Cats can't tell us how they feel and sometimes they don't understand how they feel. It's a natural defense for them to hiss and growl. It may have been a really loud noise they made or a sudden movement that scared her.
I would first work on regaining trust. Tell the girls to be a little more quiet and calm around her. Have the girls give her treats or feed her baby food on a spoon. Just make sure the baby food has no onion powder. They seem to like chicken or turkey the best.
If this doesn't work, then I would put kitty in one room in the house. This way she can hear the kids playing. Then have the kids go into the room with you to play nice with her. It should just take a few sessions and I think she will be fine with them again.
 

maui

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Hi DN

I have no idea if anything may have happened when you were on vacation and I'm sure your daughter was conscientious, but kids will sometimes do things without understanding the consequences. I once paid a very nice neighbor to catsit in our home. She was to feed and visit with my cat 1/2 hour every day when we went on vacation. When we returned I was chit chatting with one of her kids and he said he had so much fun visiting the cat, couldn't wait to do it again, and it was especially fun when his little brother would chase my cat up and down the house (!) until she would hide up atop the cupboards. Obviously, I never asked this neighbor to catsit again.

Since the grandkids visit on a regular schedule, I think it will be fairly easy to get Maggie to accept them, especially since the majority of her life she was not hissing at them.

Here's my suggestions:

First off, don't use punishment for Maggie if she hisses. My guess is that because the hissing happened when the kids ran towards her, it was fear agression -- as opposed to completely unprovoked agression.

Secondly, I would have certain house rules that the kids understand. Let Maggie come to them only -- no exceptions. No chasing the cat. No holding the cat down. No running toward the cat. No pulling on cat body parts.

For the next few weeks, keep interaction between Maggie and kids extremely minimal (5minutes or less) and try to always create a positive experience for Maggie during those visits. Let the visits be on Maggie's terms -- not the kids. For example, rather than let the kids run into the room that Maggie is in, have the kids sit quietly with kitty treats, and then you call Maggie into the room. Kids should stay put, and let Maggie come to them if she wants. Maggie eats a few treats, then you gently take Maggie to her own room where she has peace and quiet (and food water and litter) and close the door.

Each time the kids visit, increase the time of interaction only as much as Maggie is interested, but if she hisses again shorten the interaction back again.

Soon she will associate the kids with more positive experiences and it will wipe out the bad memories -- whatever they may be.

If the kids visit overnight, by simply giving Maggie her own space and letting the kids know they are not to open Maggie's door, you will know that Maggie and the kids will be safe from harm. Maggie sounds like she is a basically sweet kitty and I'll bet, she will soon look forward to being let out to spend more time with the kids. . .but needs a little space in the short term.

Good luck
 

safron

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I have an older cat, Lucy, who is almost 7 years old. She does not like children. Whenever friends bring their kids over she hides. If the kids try and approach her she hisses and lowers her ears b/c she is afraid of them. Fear agression towards children is fairly normal in cats that have been abused by kids. I bet your grandchildren did something to Maggie, maybe unintententionally, to cause her to be afraid. The suggestions that Sandie and Maui gave are great, let us know how it works out.

-safron
 
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dn1222

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Thank you all for your helpful replies. The kids do run, jump, scream and fight just like most 2 and 4 year olds do. Maggie will go and hide but sometimes she will sit on one of the dinning room chairs and hiss at them as they go by. I make her go upstairs when she does that. The four year old was visiting alone last night and I tried to approach Maggie while holding my granddaughters hand..she hissed and even growled. Of course the little one tried to jump into my arms which didn't help. I'll keep working at it and hopefully this will all work out without anyone getting hurt.

Thanks again!
 

cooie

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Whatever you do, please do not punish Maggie. Cats don't understand punishment because they don't have a sense of "right" and "wrong" like people do. Punishment usually makes them more stressed or agressive or both. In other words, as long as she's not actually strking the children, the only result of isolating her will be to make her more defensive, unless she's already used to being isolated for some reason.

Also, is it that important that the kids be able to approach her? I know I'm biased because I love kitties but don't care much for young children, but kids that age seem to treat everything as a toy, and if they are encouraged to approach her they may see it as an invitation to "play" with her.

It seems to me a truce is in order - if they leave the cat alone, the cat will leave them alone, and no harm is done on either side.

Then, when they are older, they can start offering her treats and learn the proper ways to play with a cat, i.e. the cat itself is not the toy.

My son grew up with cats, so this was never an issue with him, but many times his friends would come over who did not have cats or any pets and did not understand that a cat was not a plaything. I would have to warn them that if they did not leave the cat alone they would be asked to leave. Even if they weren't being consciously aggressive with the cats, just the very loudness and suddenness of kid's play is enough to put the most easy-going cat on the defensive.
 
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dn1222

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The kids have never treated her as a toy. Actually, she treated them as toys. When they play in their house she would be right in there with them. They would brush her and give her treats. Now she won't let them near her. I don't worry much about the hissing. I am just concerned that she will try to bite them. They get frightened when she starts her hissing and so do I. I am starting to think that she is jealous of the time I spend with them, if that's possible.

It is not necessary that they approach her but I do want them to be able to walk around the house without her hiding under tables and hissing as they go by. They don't even know that she is in the same room until they hear her.

I'll just keep taking it a visit at a time and hopefully she and they will adjust, once again.
 

valanhb

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It may not have even been something that the kids did themselves, just something that happened when they were there that scared her. She may not know exactly what happened, but they were there and she got scared, therefore she is misplacing her fear aggression onto the kids.

Yes, it is a possibility that she is jealous. Some cats definitely have their possession issues. Have the kids recently started spending more time at your house? If that hasn't changed much, then I would think it is more of a fear aggression issue than a jealousy issue.

Do a search on fear aggression in this forum. There has been some really great advice and links given that can help you deal with this issue, in addition to what's already been talked about here.
 

eliseabengi

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I am having the same problem with my 11-year old black & white tuxedo female cat named Dutchess.  I've had her since she was 6-weeks old.

My husband and I live a quiet life with no children living with us.  My cat enjoys cuddling with me often causing her to sleep.  My oldest daughter and 2 grands ages 5 & 15 visit once every 3-4 months from another state. They sleep over about 4-5 days and it is a difficult time for everyone.  My 5-year old grandson is a vocal and busy child.  He does not antagonize my cat but when he passes by a hiss and humping of her back occurs.

A few months ago, I was sitting on my favorite couch.  My daughter bent over and hugged me to say goodbye and my cat jumped on her back and dug her nails in.  I was very upset and scolded Dutchess. 

My granddaughter has bad memories of Dutchess jumping on her while she was sitting on the chair about 9 years ago.  I feel this was a playful situation, but my granddaughter feels she was being attacked.  Since then fear exists between her and the cat.  When my granddaughter stays with me sometimes for 2-3 weeks, there are no traumatic problems.  If the cat happens to come out of her private space for food, the litter box or to just look, and my granddaughter is nearby, I get a "grandma, Dutchess is standing looking at me" call.  I just have to pave the way.  But since the household remains quiet during her stay, there are no problems.

I feel there is nothing I can do to create a positive relationship between my cat & these particular family members.  I did not mention we have not had visitors on a regular basis for sometime.  In the past, my cat has never had problems with other visitors that come and go the same day. 
 
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